


Dysphoria

by DaenaBlackfyre



Category: One Piece
Genre: Ace and Sabo are Luffy's parents, Ace is sad but not that sad, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Body Dysphoria, Boys In Love, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Portgas D. Ace/Smoker, Pregnancy, Therapy, Trans Male Character, Trans Portgas D. Ace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 161,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaenaBlackfyre/pseuds/DaenaBlackfyre
Summary: Since he was born Ace has lived a life filled with difficulties. He got used to fight for what he wanted and searched for a place in the world where he could be himself. That place was Sabo. But things are not easy for boys who look for freedom, and they had to improvise along the way. How was the way that brought them together and pulled them apart so many times?Versión en Español
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace & Sabo, Portgas D. Ace/Sabo
Comments: 149
Kudos: 271





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Disforia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230065) by [DaenaBlackfyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaenaBlackfyre/pseuds/DaenaBlackfyre). 



> This fanfic took me a lot of work. It took a full year. I rewrote it three times and edited it like a million more. Even so I’m proud of the result. At first, Ace wasn’t going to be Trans —the fanfic changed a lot during the writing process— but Annie de Odair suggested the idea and I liked it a lot. However, I’m really strict with myself and put a lot of effort to create a logical and right representation, even though I’m still unsure if I achieved it. Either way, I loved writing this story and I hope that whoever reads it gets to love it just as much as I do. Maybe someone will feel offended by the topics of the story, but that was never my intention. I started this project wanting it to be something cute, full of fluff and I don’t know how it turned out to be this thing, but I love it anyways.
> 
> I thank from the bottom of my heart to Annie de Odair for her love and support, that without her I wouldn’t be able to finish these monsters. She is the father of this story. Also a lot of thanks to my beautiful friend ChainedKura, who read all this story, gave me his honest opinions and critics to better it and translated it. I love you both and thanks for putting up with me.
> 
> Without further comments, enjoy the story.
> 
> This is a translation. English is not my first language so excuse any errors in it.
> 
> Disclaimer: One Piece doesn’t belong to me, It belongs to Eiichiro Oda.

School was shit. Ace still wondered how necessary it was to go, but the old Garp's voice echoed in his head every time he thought about skipping class. He didn't want the old man to bother him if he found out he wasn't going. However, he felt that he was wasting his time within that retrograde educational system with imbeciles who only sought to exclude him or ridiculously highlight the things he disliked about himself. All of this seemed completely unnecessary. Ace had already made a name for himself by punching everyone who bullied him at school. He had become gruff and sullen, like a wild and lonely animal, but he liked it that way.

As soon as he crossed the door of the house, he threw the backpack into a corner and sighed. The smell of food made his stomach growl and the loud noise of the television filled his ears. Dadan was at home.

"Is that you, Ace?" He heard the woman's voice coming from the kitchen and went that way.

"Who else is it going to be?" He blurted out, and she looked at him reproachfully because of his rude response.

"Sit down, the food is getting cold." She said in a voice that almost sounded like a growl, but that was how she usually spoke and he was so used to it that he didn't even flinch.

Ace sat at the table, looked at the soap opera that was on, and grimaced.

"Is Alice still lying?" He asked in amazement as a steaming plate of spaghetti with sauce was displayed in front of him.

"In the previews it seemed that Aldo was going to find out the truth, but they will stretch it out as much as they can." The woman explained as she reached for a cigarette to put it to her mouth and light it.

"What the fuck, they just want to stall and make more money." Ace snapped, and Dadan agreed with him. Something he appreciated about the woman was that she didn’t reprimand him for swearing, although perhaps she was the person from whom he learned such words. “Rachel is an imbecile.”

"Hey, her performance improved a lot."

He preferred to choke on food rather than answer that.

This was routine. Whenever Ace came home from school, Dadan fed him and they talked about the stupid soap opera of the moment. He hated those fictions, but after watching them every day he ended up knowing the plot, the characters and their conflicts; which perhaps made him hate such programming even more. However, sharing that moment with Dadan wasn't so bad.

For as long as he could remember, the woman had taken care of Ace. He never knew his parents. Garp had adopted him as a baby and he knew that his biological parents had died. The old man was a policeman or something, so he went away for months and, since he couldn't leave a child alone, Dadan took care of him. He knew they both had some kind of strange arrangement, but he had never understood what it was. It didn't interest him much, either. The old woman wasn't bad, just a little creepy and rough, but there was no comparison with Garp in that regard.

Ace wondered how long he hadn't seen the old man, three or four months? Surely he would come back soon. Would Sengoku come with him? He would really like to see him, and Rosinante too.

"I'm going out, brat." Dadan reported after she finished her beer, almost smoked the entire pack of cigarettes, and the soap opera was over. “I have to go to the business.” She pointed an accusing finger at Ace. “Don't make any trouble and I want everything clean by the time I get back.”

He rolled his eyes at her and sighed. Those threats had no effect on him, but the woman kept making them even though she knew he would do whatever he wanted. He was aware that Dadan had some shady or illegal job —which is why he believed Garp was extorting her to take care of him— but he never knew what it was exactly. As much as they lived in the same house, Ace did not question what she did, it was her business after all. He spent a lot of time alone in that house when Garp was not visiting. However, Dadan used to share at least enough time with Ace to check that the boy was still alive, along with her _slaves_ or subordinates Dogra and Magra who were also there most of the time.

Despite being only 10 years old, he had learned to be quite self-sufficient and not die when left alone. The house was not too big or luxurious, but it was cozy. There was his room, Dadan's and an extra one that Garp sometimes used when he came, which was almost always empty; in addition to the kitchen, bathroom and dining room. Ace suspected that Dadan had Dogra and Magra sleeping in the yard like dogs, but he could never verify it.

After the woman left, Ace shuffled to his not-so-well-ordered room and changed his clothes to go out. He didn't plan to get bored in that place, he would go for a walk. Luckily, at the school he attended they didn't make him wear a uniform like in those movies that were on the television on Sunday afternoons. What a nuisance it would be to have to subjugate his choice of clothing or even worse, to be forced to wear something he didn’t want just because a regulation says so. Although he attended school very little, barely enough.

He ran a hand through his short black hair scratching his head. It was hot that day, so he put on a T-shirt and shorts. That way he was comfortable, luckily in that house he had never been reprimanded for the clothes he liked to wear.

He left his house with a quick step in case Dadan or any of her minions happened to see him. It sucked to feel watched, but he was used to it. Over the years, he learned to sneak very well.

He ran with a smile when he felt he was far enough away. One good thing about living in the middle of nowhere was the tranquility, but it was also incredibly boring. Perhaps Ace was not made for life in a town, but he never knew anything else. His house was not very close to the downtown, where he only went when he had to go to school or visit Makino's bar, but it was not very different from any human ecosystem. He lived in a suburb, but he was also aware that there were people in more downtownish areas and in much more ornate houses, the wealthy classes. Right now he was heading as far away from those neighborhoods as possible. Away from everyone, into that part of the forest where children are forbidden to go and adults walk cautiously. Ace was never afraid, over there was where he had felt the best.

He ran through the trees enjoying the smell of fresh earth when the houses began to disappear and that forest, which was practically a refuge, hugged him. He sighed as he moved toward the little hideout among the treetops. He liked to climb since he had memory and the fantasy of building a house there became more and more latent, he even had a good place and had been collecting materials and objects from the garbage, he also stole every so often, but nothing too risky. He just wanted to build a secret place that no one knew about and he knew that he was doing no wrong taking small tools or little things that he casually ‘found’ when he went to town.

That way of entertaining himself had turned out very well and no one could discover it, until that day.

He found another boy, maybe his own age, but one that he had never seen before even though Ace thought he knew most of the people who lived around those places. Could he be new in town? As soon as he took a step forward, the boy noticed his presence.

“What are you doing here?” Ace snapped seriously as he got closer, which confused the stranger.

"I was..." He stammered before answering and stopped as he spoke, perhaps not knowing why he should answer him in the first place. “I was just walking around. Do I know you?”

"I doubt it." Ace shrugged and peeked up at the trees and then back at the boy. “This is my territory, so you better go.”

“Oh yeah?” That boy asked with a raised eyebrow. “I thought this forest was not owned by anyone…”

"Well, but this part is." He quickly clarified. “And you are trespassing.”

Annoyed, he crossed his arms and the big eyes of that boy looked at him in silence. Perhaps he was intimidated by him? That thought abandoned him when he heard him laugh. Was he making fun of him? He would kill him.

"Sorry, sorry." The boy said, scratching his blond hair and smiling, missing a tooth. “I just wanted to go for a walk and I ended up here, I didn't want to bother you.”

He twisted his mouth in discontent while listening to him. Perhaps Ace had exaggerated, because this boy didn’t look bad or hostile at all, but he was naturally wary.

"Whatever." He clucked his tongue in annoyance. “Who are you? I don't remember seeing you around here.”

"I am Sabo," he replied, smiling. “I recently moved, but I haven't had a chance to go exploring.”

Ace listened carefully, but didn't answer nor gave him his name. He didn't seem to be lying to him, but still something was off.

"I haven't seen you at school," he mentioned very confidently because he knew that if he had seen him, he would remember.

"I don’t go to school." That statement caused Ace to open his eyes in shock.

“Really?” He asked in complete disbelief.

"Yes, I study at home."

"Woah, I didn't know that could be done." He made a small mental note to inform old Garp, because he was sick of getting up early to go to school every day.

"It's pretty boring, actually." Sabo sighed and then looked up at the top of the trees, it was very high, but he thought there was something between the thick leaves. “Do you have any kind of hideout?”

"No... It's none of your business."

"Okay, okay," he spoke gently, not to provoke the other boy's temper any further.

They both looked at each other with some suspicion, but Sabo continued the conversation.

"This forest seems huge, what else is around here?"

"Some things," he said, not wanting to speak, but Sabo seemed to wait for him to continue. “There is a river nearby.”

“For real?” He asked in amazement. “And do you know how to get there?”

"Sure, this forest is like my yard." He crossed his arms and smiled arrogantly, but the other boy didn't seem to mind.

"Wow, that's amazing."

That comment was an unexpected little caress to his ego and he felt his face tingle slightly. It was not to be amazed. He lived in the same place for years now and always went to waste time out there.

"I can show you," he offered, looking elsewhere. Suddenly the bark of the trees looked more interesting. “If you want…”

“Sure!” The other boy exclaimed happily, which he found a little amusing.

"Sometimes I fish there too," he added, not really knowing why. He did not know when he stopped speaking to him in a hostile way.

“Really? I've never fished, it must be fun.”

He shrugged, not knowing what to answer to that. It was just a river, he didn't see how exciting it was, although maybe it was because it was part of his day to day going there and he didn't appreciate anything dazzling. However, he found himself walking with that boy following him. He seemed different from the other boys he dealt with at school, but he didn't know exactly why. At least he didn't give him a bad feeling.

"I'm Ace," he mentioned, remembering that he hadn't told him what his name was.

"Nice to meet you, Ace." Sabo smiled at him again and he just grunted in reply.

Who knows, maybe that weird kid might be interesting.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Ace's laughter echoed loudly through the branches of the trees and he looked from his high position at Sabo, who had fallen trying to climb. The boy was obviously not used to it and couldn't keep up, but Ace had to admit that he was putting up effort and learning fast.

"You are terrible at climbing," he said after going down next to Sabo and saw him stroking the bump that he made on his head when he fell.

"It's difficult," he said with some frustration and remained seated on the floor, Ace settled himself beside him. “In my old home there were no trees that high to climb.”

"That doesn't excuse how bad you are at it," he scoffed again and laughed when Sabo growled at him in reply.

It had been several days since he and Sabo had been unwantedly meeting in the forest. At first he paid him no mind, but the boy's presence was amusing. He didn't seem used to the somewhat _wild_ rhythm he had developed, but he was adjusting well enough. He had to admit that he enjoyed watching him put in some effort. He assumed that he was a city boy and that was why his resistance was different, but he learned fast and he liked that.

“Where did you live before?” He asked, realizing that he hardly knew him and only knew his name.

Ace was not sociable at school or with anyone really. It was complicated, because he had found many people who bothered him or stressed that he looked different.

‘You are a girl, you must be with the girls,’ a teacher had told him when he was 6 years old, but she was wrong. He was a boy, and everything the others said didn’t matter to him. However, a lot of people took upon themselves to highlight what he was not, but Sabo didn’t do that. He never felt that judgmental or confused look with him. Perhaps that was the reason he liked spending time with him.

"I used to live closer to the capital." Sabo took his time answering and seemed to ponder it carefully. “Have you always lived here?”

Ace nodded without wanting to know why he diverted the topic. It was none of his business if he did not want to speak.

"I don't know any other place," he said with a sigh. “It's not bad here, but it's kind of boring.”

He had never complained to Garp or Dadan, but Ace knew that elsewhere he could do so much more. However, he still wasn't sure what he wanted to become.

"It's interesting and beautiful." Sabo looked around and Ace said nothing, just yawned feeling suddenly tired. “The city is not a big deal either.”

"I don't know..." He spoke with a certain lethargy and rubbed one of his eyes. “At least there are other things ... like movie theaters.”

"Have you never been to the cinema?" He asked amusedly.

"Not a big one, just the one in the downtown once in a while, but it's almost tiny."

“I would like to see it.”

Sabo got no answer and wondered if Ace had heard him, but unexpectedly when he looked at the boy he fell against him. Ace's body fell down like a stone and his head landed right between his legs.

"Ace!" He mentioned altered.

Had he passed out? Was he sick? Was he dying? What was he supposed to do?!

He took the other boy's body to look at his face, to see if he was breathing, to take his pulse —although he wasn't sure how to do it— or whatever. They weren't exactly near any place where he could ask for help.

"Ace ... Ace," he called, expecting him to react, but when he focused on the other boy's face, he noticed that he was breathing, which relieved him, but he was also snoring. “Did you fall asleep?”

He was completely confused. A second ago they were talking normally and suddenly he fell asleep? He didn't know him for too long, but that was too weird.

At least he seemed fine, he was just asleep. He didn't convulse or vomit foam or anything that terrifying. So he believed that it wasn’t necessary to ask for help, although he did keep an eye on him. Sabo tried to relax and wait for Ace to wake up. He didn’t know what was happening to him, but he feared that perhaps it was just like sleepwalkers which were dangerous to wake them suddenly or at least that was what he’d seen on television.

Ace stirred while making some sounds while he slept and reminded him of spasms that a puppy could suffer while dreaming. Sabo smiled and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, he didn’t know why, maybe it was some way to convey that he was not alone and he could relax. It worked because he stopped shaking.

How strange it was to be near him. They had only known each other for a short time, but it felt nice. Not like when he shared time with his brother Sterry or the other children of his parents' friends. Ace seemed so much more authentic and fun, he hoped he wanted to remain his friend. He watched him for a while and wondered if he should wake him up, although he seemed too relaxed sleeping. Sabo ran a hand over the boy's face and touched the hair that fell on his forehead, it was soft.

Probably 15 minutes later Ace woke up and Sabo squeezed his own hands feeling disturbed and embarrassed by what had just happened, although he didn't understand it. Ace rubbed his eyes as he got up and looked at him as if nothing serious had happened.

"I think I fell asleep..." He said tiredly and ignored the reproachful look Sabo shot him.

"I thought as much..." He growled with a frown. “Do you fall asleep like this all the time?”

"Yes," Ace spoke very confidently and Sabo raised a confused eyebrow.

"Are you a narcoleptic?"

"Oh, how persuasive," he laughed with a smile, but Sabo didn't seem to find it funny. Although he was seriously surprised that he knew that word and, apparently, what it meant. “Whatever, it was nothing. It happens to me very often.”

"How can you be so chill about it? You could be walking and suddenly fall asleep and hurt yourself.”

"It’s not like that." He rolled his eyes and sighed wearily. “Whenever I start to feel like I'm going to fall asleep, I lay or sit down so I don't break my neck or something.”

"Aren't you taking any medication?"

"In the morning," he explained, realizing that he didn't understand why he should be talking about this. “You don't have to worry, I'm used to it.”

"I'm not worried, you fool."

A laugh escaped Ace when he heard him say that. Ace paid it no mind and got up to stretch. That condition was something he was used to and he knew that if Sabo remained his friend he would also get used to seeing him pass out every now and then, although that didn't mean he’d stopped worrying.


	2. Chapter 2

Several times he thought if this was a good idea. He still didn't know Sabo well enough to show him his secret place, although Sabo had already discovered it the first day. So he made him promise like a hundred times that he wouldn't tell anyone. Sabo swore it until Ace was happy and finally took him there.

They met in the forest. They had both seen each other there for several days. Ace always went after school and Sabo whenever he could run away from home, although he wasn't sure where he lived yet. Should he ask him? As much as he was curious, he wasn't going to say anything. If Sabo wanted to tell him, he supposed he would at some point. Ace also had things he didn't want to tell, but luckily that boy seemed very happy and confident, enough to settle for just knowing his name. Maybe that was it, that simplicity, that made him feel comfortable with him.

When they reached the indicated tree they took a while to climb. Sabo's climbing skills had improved a lot, but it was impossible for him to best Ace. Still, Ace held his hand out to keep him from falling. They'd be in trouble if that happened, because their _hideout's location_ was pretty high and a fall from there wouldn't come free.

Ace hadn't built too much. He only had a pseudo-floor made of wood that he took out of the garbage, plus an attempt at walls, and some other materials that he collected from the same place. Despite being modest, Sabo saw that place as if it were the most incredible thing in the world.

"Woah," the boy sighed. "Did you really do all this? It's great, Ace!"

The compliment bubbled a feeling of pride inside him, but he didn't say it. He just sat down.

"Still a long way until finishing it," he recalled.

"We can do it together, I can help you." Sabo offered, very excited, but Ace's surprised grimace pulled him back. "Well... If you want, it's your secret place."

He blinked a few times when he heard him, trying to understand him until he laughed. That was a strange moment. That small space in the forest was his, he had never shared it with anyone else and now he did it with Sabo because he discovered it, but he was interested in a way that Ace didn't expect. That happening was not part of his plans.

He didn't quite understand what led him to trust Sabo. Maybe it was because he saw him as pleasant, sincere and because he didn't ask annoying questions like other people. Ace had no friends at school, he never let anyone get close enough, but this boy had made him reveal his biggest secret without hesitation.

"Hmm... We'll have a lot to do," he sighed, thinking of all the repairs that were missing from that house and Sabo, hearing his words, smiled broadly showing all his teeth along with the missing space.

It was a comforting gesture and he felt comfortable with him, just like every time they met there.

Having a friend could be fine and nice, at least he was learning that.

He was about to propose that they go find more things for the hideout, but a storm began to swirl above their heads. Ace didn't think twice before telling Sabo they had to get down and go.

The rain fell on them as they ran through the forest. At least that way they didn't feel the cold. He took Sabo's hand to guide him so he didn't get lost, after all he didn't know the area.

"Are you sure?" Sabo asked at the entrance to the house and Ace sighed wearily.

"I already told you it's okay," he snapped, feeling his body shudder. "Get in for god's sake, it's cold!"

Ace complained with his body soaking wet until Sabo entered his home. The drops fell from his hair and from his wet clothes. As much as the day was very warm, he was now feeling cold with his skin wet from the rain.

Dadan was not home, as he guessed, perhaps she would appear later. He had no other place where they could take refuge, so he decided to go to his house. Sabo accepted dubiously, but followed him and entered.

They went to the bathroom to get towels. He didn't need an adult —or to be one— to know that they shouldn't keep being in their soaking wet clothes.

"I'll lend you something," he said, going to his room to find something to change into.

Sabo didn't follow him and he appreciated that. He didn't like being seen while dressing up. He did it very quickly as if he was hiding a secret and it was a little like that.

He tossed his damp hair in the towel and sighed. Usually, he didn't easily lose his body heat, but the temperature had dropped considerably. The town's climate used to be fairly constant, but as winter approached, temperatures began to drop a lot at night, and those downpours that seemed to threaten to destroy the world fell unexpectedly. It didn't matter, they were already protected under a roof.

Ace moved to the dining room where Sabo had stayed and saw him standing, with the towel he had given him hanging from his shoulders, looking at the pictures that had been framed on the wall. There were few, but enough to show different people: Garp, Sengoku, Rosinante, Dadan, and himself of course.

"Are they your family?" Sabo asked when he noticed his presence.

"Something like that," he said, looking at the pictures next to him. "The old man comes from time to time." He pointed to Garp, who was smiling in the photo next to an annoyed Ace, he didn't even remember why he was angry but Garp had the ability to easily annoy him. "Dadan lives here, but isn't always here. The others live elsewhere."

Ace had met Sengoku and Rosinante, his son, on a few visits. He didn't remember the first time he saw them exactly, but they were kind to him. He always had fun watching Garp and Sengoku argue while Rosinante was a weird, awkward, but kind and funny guy. He was very good to him, Ace hoped to see them again soon. Garp always brought news of them.

All three belonged to the Police Force and had high ranks, so they had a lot of work and traveled constantly. Garp always said that they could get Ace a place there when he grew up, but he himself knew it was impossible and he wasn't interested anyway.

"Don't you feel lonely?"

That question made his lips tighten and he turned his gaze to the side. He knew that all those people in the photos appreciated and cared for him, but he saw them very little. Ace was used to it, because that's how he always lived, but he couldn't say that sometimes he fantasized about more.

It was difficult to answer, but Sabo did not wait for him to say something.

"I feel that way, too."

He didn't quite understand why he was saying that to him. Sabo hadn't said much about him, but enough for Ace to know that he had parents and a family, how could he feel lonely? Suddenly Ace didn't want to imagine what could be happening in Sabo's house for him to say something like that.

He shook his head and decided to leave the topic there. He walked to find something to eat, it was already getting dark.

"You can change if you want." He gestured to his room and the other boy disappeared from view through the door.

For an instant, he wondered how many people he let into his room, and the answer quickly came to his head: None. Still, he was not bothered by the idea of Sabo entering. Nor did he have anything that could catch his attention, but the idea of this boy entering a place he considered _private_ caused him some nervousness.

They were friends after all, right? Yes, he could probably already consider Sabo a friend, after all he didn't invite anyone to his house. He had even left him some clothes to change.

Ace rummaged through the cabinets under the sink and found what he was looking for: instant soups.

Despite being only 10 years old he was able to survive being alone. Ace had had to quickly learn how not to starve.

He put water on to heat and went to sit at the table after turning on the TV. Why was it always on the same channel? he had no idea. A ridiculous dance show that Dadan liked was on. Ace hated that kind of shows, everything seemed completely fake and acted. He sought the remote control to change the channel.

Sabo walked over to sit next to him. His clothes had fit him well as he had supposed. They were both the same age and size, although Ace was slightly taller.

"What are you watching?" He asked, watching the television as he went through the channels.

"Nothing," he said, skipping the channels until he dropped it into a movie he'd already seen. "This one is good."

"Oh yeah." Sabo smiled and scratched his head thinking. "Once I watched it, It's ..."

"Kill Bill," Ace answered instantly. He had a good memory for stupid stuff.

Sabo nodded smiling and sat down with him. They watched television for a while until Ace heard the water boil.

"It rains harder and harder." Sabo said.

"It'll be over." Ace commented, getting up. "These storms don't last long, do you want to call someone?"

He pointed to a phone on a small table by the couch. He did not know what grimace Sabo made, but he didn't answer anything either. He only heard him get up and dial a number as Ace poured the hot water into the ramen cups.

He heard him dial with great confidence. Did he know his house number by heart? That made him wonder how many numbers he knew. Inside his mind he went through Garp's, Dadan's and from Sengoku's only remembered the last three numbers. Supposedly, He had to know those phones in case something happened to him, but he never used them.

Sabo's conversation was very quick and he could barely hear what he said, but he felt he was quick to hang up. He was intrigued by the person with whom he would speak. Was it his parents or someone else? Ace realized that this was not important.

He brought the instant ramen closer to the table and he really wanted to taste that soup to warm his belly. It was simmering, but that didn't stop his hungry craving from making him eat.

"It's delicious." Sabo said happily, drawing Ace's attention.

"You've never eaten it before?" He asked with an arched eyebrow and his friend shook his head. What a weird kid. "You just pour hot water and it's ready, they look like plastic but it tastes good."

Sabo agreed, but still continued to eat with pleasure as they ignored the television and chatted about nonsense.

Before they could realise it was night and Ace yawned, although he never knew if his sleepiness was due to narcolepsy or fatigue. The rain didn't stop and he assumed that neither of them could get out. Dadan didn't make an appearance either and the movie was already over. He got up to throw those cups away.

"Come," he said to Sabo, going to his room.

He didn't have many things. Only the unmade bed and a wardrobe with drawers. Some items of clothing were lying on the floor. Ace sat on the bed taking off his shoes.

"You can stay here if you want," he said, looking at the other boy. "The old man's room smells musty and Dadan's is locked."

That meant he should both sleep there. His bed wasn't too big, but they could both squeeze in or so he supposed. Sabo didn't seem very convinced, but he still went over to sit next to him.

"Is it okay if I stay?" He asked, and Ace shrugged.

"If you want," he replied. "Will they get mad at your house?"

Sabo made the same gesture with his shoulders and they both fell silent. Ace put his feet up on the bed and leaned back against the wall. The room was barely lit, just a small nightstand on, and that darkness made him yawn again.

"I really like not having to sleep there." Sabo said, drawing his attention. "They always wake me up early."

"How boring."

"It is." Sabo also yawned wearily. "I have to take a lot of boring classes."

"Can't you refuse?"

"I don't think that's how it works," he replied, laughing. Ace sighed because he was right. At school he was also forced to take classes in things that did not interest him. "But I like geography and literature classes."

A grimace of disgust formed on his face. Those subjects were too boring for him. Ace preferred other things, like math. As much as he didn't read well and fell asleep in his classes, he was good with numbers.

"Reading is boring," he said.

"Not at all, it's great to be able to transport yourself to other worlds just by reading," Sabo replied, but Ace disagreed. "I can lend you some of my books so you can see that I'm right."

"Well..." He muttered, not very convinced. Maybe he could try, although he didn't have much patience to sit down and read.

"I'd like to write books," Sabo said, and Ace raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Although my parents say that I should dedicate myself to politics, I don't know... What would you like?"

He thought about it for a moment. Ace wasn't clear about a profession or something he wanted to be, but he definitely didn't even consider Sabo's options for himself.

"I don't know," he replied. "I don't know what I want to be, although... I would like to travel to many places."

Sometimes he had that fantasy. He would like to visit those places that he only knew through television or movies. Get out of that place where he was locked up and go on adventures regardless of his name, his person or anything. He wanted to be free.

"That's great!" Sabo mentioned excitedly. "I also want to travel, so I can write about the places where I was."

Ace laughed at that enthusiasm and because he felt it too.

They spent a lot of time talking about the places they would like to go or the things they would like to do or eat when they traveled, until the sleep hit them.

They both lay down on the bed after a while. Ace felt sleep overpower him as his back touched Sabo's. The bed was big enough for both of them and the other boy didn't move, at the point that Ace thought he was alone, but when he turned around he remembered that he wasn't.

At some point in the night, he felt cold and looked for a blanket to cover himself in dreams. He didn't remember his bed being so comfortable and warm, but tonight it was more than ever.

**.**

**.**

**.**

When Dadan entered her home she felt tired. She spent the entire night working, and the storm prevented her from returning home, not to mention the problems her business caused her. Luckily, everything was already solved. She was dying to lie down for a while. It was almost nine in the morning, she had time to sleep.

She was about to go to her room when she remembered something important: Ace. The boy should be in his room. Did he have school today? What day was today? If she thought about it carefully, it was Sunday, although she wasn't quite sure. If the brat didn't go to school, Garp would kill her and she wasn't ready to face that crazy old man.

She went to Ace's room and saw him there. Great, he hadn't escaped.

When she was about to leave, she noticed something that caught her attention.

What was that blonde hair? Would it be some clothes and she thought it was something else?

Dadan looked closely at that bed and narrowed her eyes. She saw Ace's head with his black hair messed up as always, but that other thing was... Ace and... What?

"Wake up at once, brat!" She shouted, rushing into the room.

The interruption was such that Ace almost fell out of bed in fright.

"What the fuck do you want?" He muttered, stroking his head. It was already hurting because of her screams.

"Don't talk to me like that." She demanded, pointing to the other boy who was waking up. "Who is this?"

"Who's the old woman?" Sabo asked, looking at Ace and he laughed at the sight of Dadan's face. "I am Sabo, a pleasure to meet you, filthy old lady."

Ace's laughter increased and Dadan wanted to kill them.

"Get out of my house." She snapped angrily.

"It's just a joke." Ace defended. "Give us something to eat before."

"I don't feed stupid children!"

Despite what she said, Dadan made breakfast for them and ignored what Sabo said. Being honest she kind of liked him. Also, Ace wasn't a kid with friends and if he had at least made one it was a good sign. She couldn't remember seeing him smile and laugh like that for so long.


	3. Chapter 3

The last time Ace saw Sabo was after his birthday. They were both twelve years old. Time had flown by as they did silly things like fishing in the river and finishing their tree house. It looked great after they worked on it for a long time, but Ace didn't usually go when he was alone. He knew Sabo's parents had taken him somewhere for his birthday, but it was almost two weeks after that and Ace felt bored.

He got used to the other boy's presence too quickly. Sabo became his friend and his adventure partner without Ace asking him to. How did he allow it? He didn't know, but he didn't complain either.

Ace kept not getting along with his classmates and worse still with the teachers. Sabo was very lucky to study at home. The town where they lived was very small and had only one school, there were very few students per year. Since Ace stepped on that place he ran into problems. The main one was perhaps that the teachers insisted on calling him in a way that he did not prefer, with that damn name that appeared on his identity documents, but that was not how he recognized himself.

Why were these people having trouble saying his name? If he wanted to be called Ace, why did they repeat that he was wrong? Dadan, Garp, and the others called him that. With them, he never felt that it was wrong to be the way he was, but at school he did and that's why he hated it.

The continuous comments from his teachers also encouraged other children to tease him and Ace didn't have the best reactions towards them. At this point, after years of having to go to that stupid school, he had created a reputation for being _rebellious_ or problematic, as well as weird and other words that were used to insult him. He preferred that people didn't approach him, because those who did so only sought to judge him or tell him that what he felt, how he felt, was wrong.

Maybe that's why he liked Sabo, because at no time did he make him feel that way and he always accepted him as he was. Although, he suspected, he hadn't realized what he really was like. Ace wasn't planning to tell him either because he didn't think it necessary.

They were both the same. They were two boys and friends. What else mattered?

Could it be that Sabo saw it differently? Ace didn't feel that way about him, but he had the doubt inside his mind.

When his friend returned he was very happy and asked him to do something, because they had not been able to celebrate Sabo's birthday. So they went downtown, to a specific building.

This moment was critical and Ace knew it. It required all his precision and cunning. He breathed silently as he began to walk carefully among the people so that no one noticed him and looked over his shoulder at Sabo, who was following him just as attentively. This brought out a smile, he was very bold and brave, so he knew he could trust him to some crazy stuff. It wouldn't be the first or the last time.

Although he didn't know if going into the cinema without paying was too crazy, but they could get in trouble if they were discovered, even though he doubted that would happen. They had done it before and everything was fine.

The building was quite old and was right in the center of town. This place was too small, so much so that with a couple of laps they could cover it all. They walked down the dirt streets until they came to the backside of the cinema where Ace had discovered a window hidden by old boxes and trash. He needed Sabo's help to be able to climb and open it, it was much easier to do it with someone than climbing only a flimsy pile of trash. When he was secured, he reached out so the other boy could climb up to the window and they were finally inside.

Buy tickets? Yeah right. As if Ace was going to spend money on it... although he didn't have it either. Plus, it was more exciting that way.

They sneaked through the dark corridors and found the entrance to the room where the films were shown. They were stealthy enough that no one saw them and they sat in armchairs far behind. There were very few people in the small old and almost falling apart room. The movie that was playing had surely been released for months in the big theaters in the city, but there it all came a little later.

Ace watched movies on television. He had several favorites, but he saw few in the cinema because he always fell asleep in that dark environment. However, he found this zombie movie funny and entertaining, so maybe he could stay awake.

"Isn't that the one from Ghostbusters?" He asked, pointing to one of the actors, and Sabo shrugged, showing he had no idea.

Despite being entertained, he suddenly fell asleep and Sabo looked at him with a resigned smile. It had been Ace's idea to sneak out to the movies, but his friend was missing half the movie sleeping on his shoulder. It didn't bother him, nor did he try to wake him up, he had already learned that he would soon do it on his own.

Éven though they hadn't seen the first few minutes, he understood the whole plot and then had to explain it to Ace when they left. He rubbed his freckled face as he yawned and Sabo thought he looked kind of _cute_ , a strange thing considering what Ace's combative personality was like.

"I'm hungry," he declared after leaving the theater and yawning. "Let's go to Makino's."

Sabo agreed with that idea, he was also hungry, so they went to a bar where a young and very pretty woman received them with a smile.

One of Ace's favorite stops was Makino's bar. She was always friendly and gave them good food, even if he didn't have much money. He didn't mind paying for his food, unlike the movies.

She served them two large plates of rice with vegetables and meat. His stomach rumbled only from the smell and he devoured the food very quickly. Both had sat at the bar, there were many people in the place. Makino had an inn where travelers rested, so there were always different people besides the classic faces that wandered every day.

"Children shouldn't drink alcohol," she said to a drunk who had told them they were old enough to drink.

"If I'm going to look like him, I don't want to drink anything." Sabo murmured in Ace's ear and Ace laughed.

The man didn't listen to them and continued talking about their travels. He said he went everywhere, but had never tasted a beer like the one Makino sold. It was quite funny.

Makino gave them some chocolate when they left. It turned out to be a good late celebration of Sabo's birthday.

"Could it be that all the travelers are drunk?" Sabo asked, thinking about it.

"Not all drunkards are travelers, so I doubt it." Ace replied as they walked. "Why? Do you want to start drinking?"

"I tried wine at a party once and I didn't like it," he recalled with a grimace of disgust. "I'm not interested."

"I don't think it's that bad."

"I think it's you who wants to drink." His laugh was lost between the streets where different people passed, but not many. It was already night. "I'll have to take care of you if you're going to be drunk on our trips."

"Hey!" Ace complained. "I don't need you to take care of me, I'm sure I'll have to watch out so you don't forget things anywhere."

They laughed again because Sabo was quite absent-minded, so he couldn't deny Ace's statement. A couple of times they had fantasized about traveling somewhere together and the idea seemed exciting to them. They were always planning or coming up with ideas. They had even started raising money —mostly stolen, but no one knew—.

He was looking forward to getting out of there. The thought of being able to stop depending on Dadan or Garp, leaving the school that tormented him so much, and being free filled him with emotion. He wanted to be free as who he really was, as the person he chose to be and not as others imposed on him.

Ace wondered several times why this was happening to him. Why did people outside him dictate how he should feel? He didn't understand it. If he said he was a boy, why did others insist on saying the opposite? Only because they knew certain _things_ about him, like the ridiculous name on his document or other details.

If he told Sabo these things, would he also think he was weird?

They arrived at the park walking. It had nothing, it was just a green space without trees, but with some fallen logs where they could sit and eat the chocolate that Makino gave them.

"Sabo," he said, causing the other to look at him. "Do you think I'm weird?"

He didn't dare look at the confusion that the boy must have in his grimace. Hearing what Sabo had to say about it caused him a little bit of fear. When people talked about him, he didn't care. In general, Ace used to punch and insult those who intrude when it wasn't their business, but Sabo was different.

Ace cared about Sabo's opinion because they were friends and adventure partners. They were going to travel the world together, weren't they? How could he not care what he thought? He had already become part of the small circle of significant people in his life.

"Well, you always say I'm weird because I like to read," he replied. "So we are all a little weird."

That answer was funny to him. Sabo was always forcing him to read and Ace had gotten hooked on some books, but that was not what he meant.

"I don't mean that," he muttered with difficulty because he didn't know what words to use to express himself. "I mean if you think I am... different... from you or from others."

Sabo frowned at this and seemed to think before answering. Nerves clenched in his chest as he waited.

"A little," he finally replied, and Ace looked at him with an expression between shock and annoyance. "I mean I never met someone like you," he clarified. "You are fun and nice, I like to spend time with you. Most of the people I met say horrible things or are very boring. But if you are asking me about your appearance... Your eyes are striking, gray as they are, and your freckles... I think they look good on you."

He swallowed at that whole explanation and bit his lips feeling warm on his face. He didn't expect him to say something like that.

"So yeah, you're different," Sabo concluded, "and that's great."

A smile escaped him when he heard him and he felt too calm. The pressure on his chest vanished and he was no longer worried. Sabo seemed so honest when he spoke and smiled at him that he couldn't doubt him.

He held his hand out with the package in it where there was still half his chocolate.

"Keep it," he said to Sabo, who looked at him confused. It was his way of saying thanks, sharing his food, but his friend denied.

"Let's eat it together."

They both laughed and agreed. They shared the last pieces and it was a very pleasant moment. If the world stopped and he had to spend all eternity frozen there, it wouldn't bother him.

His gaze met Sabo's and he smiled at him again. They were silent for a few moments and Ace felt his heart clench with pleasure. How ridiculous to feel like this with a friend, but he never had one to know what it feels like. Above all, he liked being with Sabo, laughing, fooling around, or fantasizing about his adventurous future.

A chill ran down his spine when he felt him approach him and he didn't understand what was going on. His jaw trembled, but before he could do anything, someone spoke.

"So here you were," said a person, and Ace turned, realizing it was a boy, who was accompanied by a man in a suit and dark glasses. It looked like something out of one of the Men in Black movies. "Our parents are very concerned."

He didn't understand anything he said, but he heard Sabo sigh and get up.

"I can go back alone," he said angrily. "You didn't have to come here, Stelly."

That confused him even more. Sabo apparently knew this boy and the environment became hostile as they talked. Ace rose to his side as well.

"Who is this, Sabo?" Ace asked in a bad way, not caring about what the others said.

"That's what I should say," snapped that boy. It was a brat that barely reached his shoulder and Ace wanted to hit his face." With this is who you always run away with? Our parents will not like to know it."

He couldn't bear a dwarf like that coming to insult him. His eyes flashed angry, he stepped up to face him and break his face as he deserved, but Sabo stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't waste your time with him, Ace," he said with annoyance in his voice. "I assure you that it is not worth losing energy in people like him."

"Is that how you talk about your brother?" Stelly mentioned offended but instantly laughed. "You should stop hanging out with these people, Sabo. Their _vulgarity_ is sticking to you."

That piece of trash was Sabo's brother? It must be a joke. They were not alike not even in the whites of the eyes and less in the way they were.

Suddenly he remembered all the times Sabo talked about his family and how uncomfortable or dissatisfied he seemed. If this was his brother, he didn't even want to imagine what the parents were like. He felt a little sorry for him at that moment and wanted to say something, but the _Man in Black_ approached them saying they had to leave. He practically felt like he was forcing him and he didn't like it.

"Sorry, Ace," Sabo said with a sigh and smiled at him. "See you later, okay?"

He said nothing to that. He just nodded and watched him go. A great unease took hold in his chest and he was frustrated. Maybe he should have stopped him from leaving, because Sabo clearly didn't want to leave, but could he really do anything? Maybe not now, but when he got older. They could leave there and live as they liked, without being disturbed by anyone.

Ace returned home alone and didn't hear from Sabo for days, but returned before he decided to go to his house to look for him. They always met again and he didn't doubt that this would continue to be his whole life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently opened a Tumblr. If you want, you can talk to me there. You can see it [here](https://daenablackfyre.tumblr.com//). Thanks for reading. The chapters come out every Sunday.

One day of summer before his fourteenth birthday, Ace woke up feeling like he was going to die. His body ached, his stomach ached, and his head exploded. He didn't want to feel like this, they were supposed to go to the river with Sabo, but he ended up crawling to the bathroom as soon as he got up. Perhaps after eating it would pass, although the pain was excruciating. Had he eaten something spoiled? Would it be diarrhea? It was weird, because he hardly ever got sick.

Still sleepy, he went to the bathroom and pulled down the shorts he was wearing to urinate. It wasn't until he saw the water that he noticed it. Blood. Ace went backwards against the sink throwing the toothbrushes and everything else when seeing that scene, he instantly realized that his clothes were also stained. Blood between his legs. What was happening? His mouth trembled, he wanted to scream but no sound came out. Something was very wrong.

"What is this scandal?" Dadan's voice broke in and knocked on the door. "What's going on, brat? You better not have broken anything."

But Ace didn't answer and she walked in, encountering something that was bound to happen.

"Oh shit..." The woman complained, understanding everything instantly and knowing that it would not be easy to explain.

Ace didn't come out of his shock that fast. She told him that it was fine, that it was normal and nothing unusual was happening. Normal? How could it be normal to wake up bleeding? That was his first contact with menstruation and from then on his semi-relaxed childhood fell apart.

He had been noticing strange things, but he ignored them. The hair on his crotch and the changes in his body shapes, but it wasn't that bad. No one would see it if he wore clothes or so he believed. His chest was almost nonexistent and there was no difference other than a slightly thinner waist, but he didn't care. None of that affected his life, until he got up that morning.

He and Dadan had a long conversation after the horror movie in the bathroom. Ace didn't go to the river that afternoon nor did he want to leave his house in the next couple of days. The woman sent Dogra and Magra to buy tampons and sanitary pads while Ace just wanted to die of embarrassment. Until now, his body hadn't been a great discomfort, but he assumed that from now on everything would change and he was terribly afraid. He didn't want to look like a girl, he never liked those things, he was happy like that and he worried about growing up.

It was torture to get used to sanitary pads and tampons. His clothes, his bed and everything always seemed to be getting stained. Not to mention the hellish pains. The worst was when she said that the same thing would happen to him every month. Why should he go through this? Because he had been born with a girl's body, but he wasn't, he didn't feel that way. That night in his room he cried with anguish and fear because he didn't know what to do.

The days went on and the pain left with the blood. He was able to ignore that fact again, but he became a little more withdrawn with his body. He didn't want to show it, _didn't want to be noticed_.

Sabo realized that he was a bit strange, but he didn't ask so as not to disturb him. Ace had a special temper, but he knew that if something bad happened, he would tell him. Should I tell Sabo? He started to believe that he had a secret and he didn't like that, not with the only person who made him feel _good_ and happy whenever they saw each other. However, it terrified him to think that things would change between them if he told him that he was not actually born as a boy, but chose it instead. With anyone else he wouldn't mind, but he... was different.

One hot night, they both sneaked into town. Summer was going to end soon and there would be no more nights like that. Ace didn't want to think about going back to school and preferred to be distracted with his best friend, the only one he had and wanted. They went to Makino's bar, which was packed with people that night. They greeted her and it was very easy to steal some things from the drunkards who were laughing there with their faces red with alcohol. Ace had stolen a beer while Sabo got an opened bottle of white wine but almost intact.

They went to the river shore to drink where nobody would see or bother them while the trees protected them and the moon was their source of illumination plus a flashlight that they always carried on their night adventures. They weren't excited about drinking or getting drunk. Maybe they did it for the thrill of getting it or for the forbidden meaning, but in the end it still had that horrible taste when they tried it.

"Bitter..." He complained about the beer he stole himself. Still the second sip didn't feel so bad.

"Try this," Sabo offered, giving him the wine. "It's sweeter."

And he was right, that wine was much easier to drink. He had also brought some meat pies made by Dadan in his backpack. A rare combination, but they didn't mind.

"Are you growing your hair?" Ace asked, seeing the strands of hair caressing his friend's forehead and he couldn't help but touch them. Sabo always had very soft hair.

"A little, do I look bad?"

"Not at all," he replied with a smile. "Your head looks smaller like this."

"Hey!" Sabo snapped offended, and Ace laughed. "You have a huge forehead and nobody says anything."

"My forehead is not huge, but your head looks like a ball."

"That's because I'm very intelligent."

"Sure, sure." He rolled his eyes as he continued to drink.

The night progressed and the heat of the environment suffocated them, not even a gust of wind, although perhaps the alcohol was raising the temperature. Sabo complained as he took off his shirt, stripping his torso, and Ace bit his lips nervously, not because he was embarrassed to see him - because many times they had taken off their clothes like this when it was hot or to swim - but because he felt that he could no longer do that. If he undressed like that, he was sure Sabo would notice those _things_ that bothered him and how could he explain it?

When they were younger, taking off their shirts was not a problem. Why was it not a problem for men? Ace felt like a man, Ace was a man, but why couldn't he feel free to do the same? Because he knew that perhaps his body didn't show any differences that inhibited him before, but now it is no longer like that. He was ceasing to be a child and beginning to become something that terrified him.

What word did Dadan use to describe what was going on? Puberty? Yes, that. Damn puberty, he was hating it with all his soul. He didn't want his body to change. However, he also noticed that Sabo was different.

Ace was once taller and even seemed stronger. There were no differences between the two of them a few years ago, but lately it was not like that anymore. His friend had a wider back and arms, always skinny, with more shape, which made him wonder when he had changed. He swallowed and looked away when Sabo realized he was watching him. Several beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, but he no longer knew whether it was from the heat or from his nervousness.

"What if we get into the water?" Sabo asked, running a hand to remove his hair from his face and stood up. "The heat is unbearable."

Ace froze on the grass where he was crouching and he wished he had camouflaged himself with the plants at that moment.

"I don't want to," he snapped, perhaps too bluntly, so much so that Sabo looked at him blankly.

"Come on." He leaned down to take Ace's hand as he stood up. "You are also hot."

"I said no!" He said, ripping his hand from his friend's in a sudden movement. "Seriously, Sabo."

At first he thought the alcohol he drank confused him, but no. Ace was acting too hostile and defensive, which Sabo didn't understand.

"What's wrong, Ace?" He asked worriedly. "You're weird..."

"Nothing's wrong with me," he said quickly and grabbed his backpack. "I have to go."

"No wait!" Sabo took him by the arm, preventing him from leaving. "Why do you want to leave? We were fine... Did I say something wrong?"

Ace swallowed hard and squeezed his hands. What was wrong there was not exactly what Sabo said or did, but he also couldn't explain.

"Lately I feel like you're weird... distant," Sabo admitted worriedly. "Something is up, but you don't want to tell me. I know they are your things, but... I want to know what happens. You are my best friend, Ace. I want to help you."

He wished it was something he could solve with Sabo's help. Those years of friendship with him had made him think they could do anything together, but not that. What could he do? His body was transforming and undergoing a metamorphosis into something he didn't want to be. For several days ago he couldn't stop thinking about this and he thought his head was going to explode. He was very afraid of what was happening and how his best friend would see him, although he also wanted to tell him. The words caught in his throat and he deeply wanted Sabo to tell him that everything would be fine.

He bit his lip and tried to swallow the anguish. He looked away from Sabo's eyes, because the confusion he saw in him only made him increasingly nervous.

"It's not... I can't tell you." Ace crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively and thought about whether or not he should continue. "If I do... You will not see me the same way."

Sabo blinked without understanding, but he did sense that something serious was going on and Ace was wrong. How could he get him to trust him?

"What are you saying?" He mentioned in a soft voice as he approached Ace. "You are my best friend and whatever happens, that will not change."

Ace shook his head without being so sure.

"What if I tell you I'm not what you think?" He snapped, not daring to look at him yet. "That I am... different."

"Well, we are all different, I already told you and that's fine, if we were the same the world would be boring."

"You don't understand," Ace sighed, not believing this was happening. "My body... is changing and I don't want to. You won't see me the same way."

None of those things he said explained anything and Sabo scratched his head without understanding, what was the problem? He didn't look _bad_.

"I think we all changed, but there are things that remain the same," he mused, thinking that growing up was strange, but some details were there forever. Sabo dared to stretch out his hands and cradled Ace's face for him to look at. "Your eyes, your smile, your freckles, the way you laugh... This is all part of you and _I like it_."

A chill ran down his spine and he felt his face heat up, though he didn't know if it was because of what he said or Sabo's hands touching him. Ace took them to push them away while denying. Those words were warm, but he still believed it wouldn't be like that.

"It's not that simple," he said, not wanting to think about the reaction Sabo might have, although he was such a nice boy that he didn't imagine that he would say something bad to him, but he was afraid it would ruin their relationship.

"Explain it to me then," he insisted. "I promise nothing will happen... Come on, Ace. Trust me."

He took a long time to think about it. If he was honest with himself, he couldn't keep the secret forever. The close friendship he had with Sabo would make it impossible to hide those details that were becoming more and more noticeable. Perhaps the best thing would be to cut it there and that whatever has to happen will happen.

Ace took a deep breath and took Sabo's hand to walk toward the river.

"Whats happening?" Sabo asked without understanding.

"You wanted to swim, didn't you?" He muttered, annoyed and resigned. "Take off your clothes."

He was very confused by Ace's attitude, but said nothing. He just nodded and started to take off his shoes while watching him sideways. Ace turned his back on him and Sabo watched him take off his shirt, his pants; all until they were left with only their underwear. What was so strange? Ace looked quite the same and Sabo moved a little closer, but stopped when he saw Ace barely turning his head a little to see him.

"Take off everything," he said, glancing at him as he hugged his own body and Sabo felt his face turn red.

What was happening? What were they doing? He didn't know, but he trusted Ace. He was not afraid to show himself naked, although he was slightly shy about him seeing. Even so, he took off the boxer that covered him.

"Get in the water, I'll be there in a second," Ace spoke again without turning to see him this time.

This was very weird. Sabo felt that he was too _mysterious_. They had never swam together like this, without clothes, but it caused an emotion that he was unable to explain. It was sneaky and intriguing, especially for what Ace wanted to tell him. Why did he need such a ceremony?

He dove into the fresh water of the river and waited. It was very dark, too. Ace's body was a black silhouette barely illuminated by white flashes from the full moon. Perhaps he had read many fantasy books or stories when he was younger, but his almost spectral figure at that moment caused him fascination and he felt unable to take his eyes off him. Almost as if he were about to become some kind of mythical creature or a mermaid that would devour him as soon as he entered the water. Whatever it is, he wanted to see it. However, none of that happened.

He saw him take off his clothes just like he did before and walk into the water. What was he supposed to see? But when he was closer he noticed that there was something he _was not seeing_ because it was simply not there. The shock was so great that he almost plunged into the water and Ace went into the river with him, but he didn't approach him, because he noticed that Sabo had already realized what he was talking about before.

They stayed away looking at each other as they floated in that black river that covered the differences between them, which Sabo had not just assimilated.

"You are..." He didn't finish saying it, because he didn't understand either. Ace was a boy, he was always a boy, but what he saw... Sabo had a slight idea of what a woman's parts were like, although he had never seen one and what Ace showed him... what else could it be?

"I'm a boy," Ace clarified abruptly, not wanting to give him an opportunity to say otherwise. "Just that my body has been like this since I was born."

"So you were born as a girl, but you feel like a boy," Sabo concluded, trying to finish painting the painting that presented itself to him and his friend said nothing, probably embarrassed.

Yes it was shocking and he didn't expect it. Other questions formed in his head, but he didn't ask them. Sabo took a moment to think about what he saw and what he knew about Ace. He met him several years ago, he was the person who gave him his friendship, offered him his house, his food and had lived through tons of moments that he would never forget. Ace was that freckled boy with narcolepsy that went to Makino's bar to eat and they would laugh for hours. Ace had been that person and he never needed to know what was between his legs to be his friend.

Ace was Ace. A boy and his best friend. Nothing had changed. With that thought in his head, he got closer to the other boy, who seemed fearful and smiled at him.

"Didn't I tell you I liked you like that? With your eyes, your freckles and your laughter." He assured him calmly, trying to make his friend relax and not bite him like the wild animal that he was. "And nothing changes between us, that is... with what you go to the bathroom and... What does it matter? It's still you."

Why should he see him differently? He had already met him without knowing that he didn't have a penis, so that didn't have to change their friendship. He wanted to keep playing with Ace, going for a walk, eating and napping on the grass until the sun went down. He would not give up on him.

For his part, Ace found it hard to believe that Sabo was so kind to say something like that to him.

"It's not just that," he sighed, feeling distressed and no longer hiding it. "Also my chest grows and that damn blood."

"Blood?"

"It's nothing..."

He raised an eyebrow without understanding. Sabo didn't look closely at Ace's chest, he saw it as always, so he reached out one hand to touch it and his fingers brushed against something soft, squishy, but so small that it was imperceptible in that darkness or under clothing. It was only a second, but his thumb brushed against the nipple slightly erect from the contact with the water and Ace jumped as if he had just given him an electric shock.

"What are you doing?!" He snapped in alarm.

"Sorry! Sorry!" He hastened to apologize and felt like a fool. The faces of the two of them turned red. "It was unintentional and I... Sorry, Ace."

"Okay, just... be careful," he muttered embarrassed, sinking into the water, hoping it would take the grief off his cheeks.

"Did it hurt?" Sabo asked worriedly and Ace denied.

"No, just... It feels weird."

It was an accident, he didn't get upset, it was just that his body was strange and he didn't really understand the sensations that he sometimes experienced. It was all new and creepy, too much to deal with now. Silence reigned between the two for a few moments as they remained in the water. Now the heat in their bodies was the product of something other than the weather.

"You don't look bad," Sabo dared to say.

"Does it not bother you?"

"No."

Ace looked at Sabo as if he didn't quite believe what he said and was very happy. A large weight was removed from his shoulders and he kept smiling. He started to hug him like he never did while laughing contentedly.

"Thank you, Sabo," he murmured, hanging on to his neck. He had imagined all the most fatal scenarios, perhaps he should have trusted him a little more, but fear blinded him and now he was free.

His best friend's hands hugged his body lovingly and without any barriers or lies. They both probably knew everything about each other and it was a nice feeling. They were used to hugging each other to sleep, holding hands or brushing against each other's every now and then, but now there was not even clothing to separate them.

Ace pulled away for a moment to see him and bit his lips. He was the only person who felt he _had to tell him_ , because the rest of the world was indifferent to him. He knew he probably would never have a positive look from anyone, he just wanted to get it from his best friend. He just wanted that he didn't stop looking at him with affection or get away from him, just like now that they were so close.

They both smiled as they looked at each other and Ace wished that this moment would never end. His hands caressed Sabo's wet shoulders and his back bristled when he felt his touch. He didn't quite know what they were doing, but those soft tickles made _something_ inside him beat, _something_ that caught fire moments later. He closed his eyes giving himself to that feeling.

His relationship with Sabo changed completely that day and again he felt fear not knowing what would happen when he let go the wet body of his best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

Summer passed and, without realizing it, it was already winter. Christmas. His birthday. Ace was indifferent and Garp said he wouldn't be able to go for a couple of months, but he didn't mind. Those celebrations were not to his liking, but at least it meant once a year where Dadan gave him more food and a special dessert, who says you can't eat ice cream in winter? He really enjoyed it.

Sabo had left, he supposed with his family, to spend that end of the year, but he appeared at his house a few days after January 1st. Ace opened the door and there he was saying "Happy Birthday" and tore a smile from him. He even gave him a gift: a red beanie that he could wear now in the winter for warmth, it will be useful. Such details weren't needed, but it felt nice and warm that he gave it to him.

He invited him in and started brewing some tea to warm themselves up. Sabo always liked visiting Ace, he felt very welcome and cozy there. He watched his friend boiling the water as he fumbled for tea in the cupboard, Ace reached out so he could grab the box and Sabo peered at him. At times when he watched him, he remembered what happened at the river that night. They never spoke about it again and their relationship didn't change at all, but he had to process a lot of information.

He wasn't upset, but he had a little trouble understanding. Maybe because it hadn't happened to him, he always felt like a boy since he could remember, so it was hard for him to imagine himself in Ace's place. However, he could understand how difficult it was to open up as he did and he didn't want to disappoint him, just understand a little more.

Again, Sabo found himself looking at Ace. He had a black woolen sweater that was a little oversized and with long sleeves, the collar was wide so he could see part of his neck. The shapes of his body didn't show while he was so dressed up and it gave him a little curiosity. That night in the river everything was very dark and his memories were too blurred, so he remembered practically nothing. Would Ace's body look so much like a girl's? It was hard for him to form the image in his head. Although, as a result of this, a memory came to his mind that he always occupied himself with repressing: Ace was cute, very much, but admitting it scared him. Now every time he stared at him he thought he was very cute.

"There's green and black tea and something I don't know what it is..." Ace mentioned with the tea box in hand, but it was better not to investigate. Sabo didn't answer him, so he turned around. "Which one do you want?"

"Eh?" He blinked when Ace spoke to him and came out of his trance. "What did you say? I was lost in thought."

"I noticed," he sighed, returning with the tea and deciding what to drink without asking again. "What are you thinking about?"

As much as everything was fine, Ace felt that there was something there that neither of them dared to talk about, but if he didn't think about that feeling of discomfort, he could continue as if nothing had happened.

"Nothing," he replied. "Where's Dadan?"

Ace shrugged, showing he didn't know. He hadn't seen her all day.

"Doing her stuff," he said as he brought the tea to the table.

They both sat down and Ace hugged the mug to warm his hands. The cold didn't affect him much, but that day was very humid and inside that house the winter seemed to penetrate with the intention of freezing the room. Sabo looked at him again. The stretched collar of the sweater Ace was wearing let him see that he had more freckles on his skin, even reaching his clavicle.

He drank some of that tea as Ace stood up remembering that there were some cookies. Dadan always bought them, they were not very good, but they were useful for filling the stomach.

"How was it?" Ace asked, referring to his journey, and Sabo sighed at the memory.

"Bad, boring," he said sincerely and wearily. He always had it like that with his family. "We went to a New Year's Eve party with his friends and I got so bored that I fell asleep at the table."

Ace laughed out loud that would have made him spit out the tea if he had been drinking. He always enjoyed Sabo's bizarre adventures in high society.

"Is my narcolepsy sticking to you?" He said, still laughing.

"Maybe, you're going to have to share your pills with me."

"I don't think I took them today..." A yawn suddenly attacked him and he looked for his pillbox on the table. Yes, he was fourteen years old and had a pillbox, but it was really useful for not forgetting when to take that medicine. The moment he checked it out, he was relieved to realize he had taken it, but that didn't stop him from being sleepy.

"Do you want us to go to your room?" Sabo suggested. "So at least you pass out in your bed."

He didn't answer anything because he yawned again, just nodded. Sabo already knew what his condition was like, an annoyance but controlled. His friend took the teacups into the room and Ace sighed as he threw himself on the bed, Sabo sat on the edge looking at him. He didn't have his room too tidy, but that was never important. They spent a lot of time there.

"Did you cut yourself?" He asked, seeing that Ace had a band-aid on his finger. He took his hand to look closer.

"I was cutting potatoes, and went too fast," he explained carelessly. "Dadan said she would get me a potato peeler so I can stop using a knife."

He smiled hearing that explanation. Ace cooking was very tasty, perhaps because he was always alone and had to learn, Sabo instead knew how to do very few things. Maybe he should ask him to teach him. He kept Ace's hands in his and peered at the size. He had never noticed how long and thin they were, or perhaps his own hands had grown thicker. He didn't know, growing up was strange.

"And she knows that...?"

Sabo didn't say it because he was afraid of upsetting Ace and looked at him with an apology in his eyes, but his friend said nothing. He was silent, understanding what he meant, and he was anxious to have to talk about this again.

"She raised me and changed my diapers," Ace snapped. "She knows that more than anyone."

"And Garp...?"

"Everyone," he replied, always referring to his family, the people close to him, who had known him for as long as he could remember.

"And what do they think?"

"Nothing, I suppose." Ace sighed without anger at those questions because he knew Sabo was not asking them with malicious intent, but out of curiosity. "The old man is kind of tough, but he never made a problem out of it."

He remembered Garp telling him that he could be whatever he wanted. Ace appreciated that he wasn't bothered by the gender he chose.

"And how did you... decide?"

He didn't have a simple answer to that question. Ace sighed and shifted on the bed to make room for Sabo, who instantly understood and lay down next to him. When they were kids, that single bed was enough, but now it was getting too small.

"I don't remember," he confessed. "I always felt that way. I didn't know my parents and Dadan raised me, along with the old man, in their own way. They always treated me like this and I never felt like _a girl_. I... I don't know, that's how I feel."

It was still difficult to understand, but Sabo nodded happily that Ace told him this without feeling attacked or threatened. He turned his body to see him better and smiled at him.

"Maybe we could search on the internet," Sabo suggested. "Surely there are more things you can read or people who have experienced the same thing as you."

"I don't even have a computer," he reminded him, thinking that the times he touched one were few, lucky there was a television and sometimes the signal would go off because of the bad weather.

It wasn't so common for people to have access to that sort of thing, but Sabo lived with a wealthier family and could seek information for Ace.

"I will look for it, don't worry."

"You don't have to do that." Ace turned his body to face his friend, too. "It's my problem."

"But I said I wanted to help."

He said it with great sincerity. Maybe now he didn't understand and it seemed strange, but he knew that Ace was having a worse time than him and he wanted to do everything possible to make him feel good.

"Thank you..."

They both smiled and remembered that moment they were together in the river, it seemed a very distant memory but at the same time a very vivid one. Perhaps this was the first time they had been as close as on that occasion. Sabo swallowed and was embarrassed to remember that they had been together, naked, but it was not uncomfortable either. Actually, he had thought about that too much lately, but he was very ashamed to say it. He dared to put an arm around Ace's waist and his heart pounded desperately. If he felt any hostile vibes from his friend, he would pull away.

As much as they were nervous about what happened, being together felt very natural and enjoyable. Ace didn't move or refuse the hug. Maybe he needed it a little and snuggled against his best friend's body. Sabo felt everything was fine and stroked his back as he felt Ace hide his face on his neck. Sometimes when they went to sleep they woke up in similar positions, but it was different doing it while being awake. It was comfortable, he could fall asleep like that.

"You know..." Sabo murmured and Ace made a sound to show he was awake. "I was thinking about what you said, that you were afraid that I would realize how your body was changing... but I don't see anything very different."

"That's because you always see me in clothes and it was dark that time," Ace said without a doubt.

"I think you're exaggerating," he muttered, saying it seriously and also with the intention of showing Ace that they were not very different.

His friend pulled back a little to see him with an arched eyebrow, they were still holding each other.

"Do you want to see again?"

Sabo's face caught fire when he heard him say that and Ace found that expression a bit funny. He was also embarrassed, but Sabo had already seen him and maybe he could show him a little, he felt that confidence at the time.

He pulled back to sit on the bed and pulled his sweater over his head, only a white T-shirt underneath. Sabo stood up next to him, his heart beating frantically without fully understanding what was happening. He saw his friend undress his torso and swallowed, although he didn't know why he was so anxious, he almost even felt that he should not look. How ridiculous, if he had seen Ace a lot of times when they were children, at that time when their bodies had no visible differences. However, now he could notice _something_.

He cocked his head, as if he couldn't finish processing what he saw. They didn't look like women's breasts, they were much smaller. Although the round, pink nipple looked bigger ... Sabo also decided to take off the clothing that covered his torso.

"You see?" He said, also showing his body. "We are not so different here."

Ace's grief turned to laughter when he heard him say that. Sabo was a fool, but one that made him feel good.

"You think?" He looked at his friend with an arched eyebrow and felt more relaxed, more secure.

Sabo nodded and looked at him again. Of course they didn't look the same, but the differences were not so many. Ace was very skinny, although he always was, but going down his body he saw that there was a part that he didn't notice before.

"You have some kind of a curve," he commented, reaching out to trace the side of Ace's body with his fingertips and stopped at the waist. Was it always like this or was that new?

His skin bristled when Sabo touched him.

"You are all straight," he replied, imitating the caress Sabo made on his body with the intention of provoking those tickles, "although your back is widening."

They were silent again. Ace didn't want to think about those things, but perhaps this was a good way to accept the changes brought about by growth. Sabo fitted them, but he...

"You are cute," Sabo said suddenly, drawing his attention until he almost jumped, and perhaps his confused face altered him a little. "I mean it's not the first time I thought... before I... Well, yes... I mean that with all _this_ you are cute, you always have been."

That was unexpected, and he felt the blush bubble up in his face, both of them felt it actually. Ace almost laughed at the nervous way Sabo spoke, but held back. He couldn't remember if he had ever heard being called that, he didn't even think that about himself. He would like to say that Sabo was crazy, but hearing him had made him very happy.

"Ace..."

He had gotten closer to him and was afraid of it, but he didn't move. There was no reason to fear anything to do with Sabo. He just closed his eyes and felt a pressure on his lips. Perhaps once, during a moment of madness, he had thought about how it would feel to kiss Sabo, but he never considered doing it. He was his best friend, it would be impossible. However, there they were. It was too fast and he didn't even have time to wonder why it happened.

Like those simple and crude kisses from 90s romantic movies that were shown on Sunday afternoons on the FTA channels. Simple, but enough to mobilize them and force them to pull away in fear.

"I..." Sabo stammered, but Ace cut him off.

"You kissed me..." he said as if just putting it into words would help him understand. "Why? Was it because of this..."

He was a little saddened to think that perhaps, after what happened in the river, Sabo had seriously started to think differently about him. He didn't want to believe that now that he knew what he was like under the clothes he wanted to do it. If his body had been like the gender he identified with, wouldn't he have kissed him?

"Actually..." Sabo thought he would die of grief at that moment, but he had to be honest. "I'd thought about it before, when we were younger."

He couldn't believe it, although Ace had the same thoughts in his mind too, but he had no explanation. He recalled some close moments they had had but never dared to consider that Sabo thought about that too. If he was honest, he couldn't imagine being with another person.

"Really?" He said, unable to get out of his amazement. "Have you thought about doing this with me?"

There was a long silence, a pause that was endless and he thought maybe they shouldn't be doing this, but he wanted to be there and live it. His heart nearly stopped from the way Sabo looked at him.

"I'd do anything with you, Ace."

A stifled sigh escaped him and before he knew it he was the one who approached. Ace had no idea how to kiss and remembered all the soap operas he had seen with Dadan. There the people, when they gave each other their first kiss, opened their mouths and caught each other's lips, they tried so and it was... very soft, warm and humid. One of Sabo's hands hugged his waist again and he also surrounded him between his awkward kisses.

He lay back on the bed and they hugged even tighter as they shared more kisses. He never believed that doing that felt so good. Now he understood why it was the most anticipated moment in soap operas and he didn't want his to end.


	6. Chapter 6

It was very cold that day and it had even snowed at night, but when Ace left his house the sun had already melted everything leaving only a trail of wet soil. He decided not to go to school. He didn't feel like it or wanted to study, but he could imagine the reprimands Sabo would give him when he found out. It was enough that Dadan and Garp bothered him with the topic, but he had also joined the group of "you have to go to school, idiot". Ace didn't mind studying —maybe just some specific classes— but what he didn't want was to go there.

He put his hands in his pockets and hid from the cold inside his scarf. Several things were missing in his house and someone had to do the shopping. Ace had already learned that he must go himself because Dadan was spending less and less time at home. At least she had accepted this new dynamic and left him money, not much, but something.

He bought what he could afford and thought he could cook pasta. It was cheap and always tasted good. He didn't have many recipes in his repertoire, but he did have enough to survive. He greeted the people in the store, because they had known him for years, but he didn't meet too many people on his way.

When he reached the door of his house, he felt someone approaching him and Ace wasn't scared by the person who hugged him because he already knew who he was.

"Hey, take it easy," Ace mentioned with a smile as they parted. "Did you miss me so much?"

"Am I not allowed?" Sabo retorted, and Ace just rolled his eyes. "Did you go shopping?"

"Someone has to do it."

After answering, he looked for his keys and entered the house along with Sabo. No one was there, just as I expected. He walked over to the table to put down the things he was carrying and began to remove his coat to leave it on the chair. He put things away and looked at Sabo with an arched eyebrow because he was very quiet.

"Do you want to light the stove?" He said looking at him and only received a gesture as an affirmation.

That place seemed an igloo, he didn't want to imagine how frozen his room was. He stored his purchases and walked to his room to open it, it wasn't as cold as he expected.

Sabo followed him and dared to lie on the bed while sighing. He smiled at him and sat next to him.

"You look dejected," He said, looking at him closely. "Something happened?"

"It's nothing," Sabo said. Apparently, he didn't want to talk about it yet and he respected it.

He already imagined that his idiot brother surely did something to him or his parents would have bothered him. He was impressed that Sabo had such a horrible family. He didn't want to meet them, the time he saw this Stelly guy by chance and he was left wanting to hit him was enough.

Ace leaned back on the bed and Sabo appreciated that closeness. They both looked at each other and smiled.

Many times the unspoken language they developed helped them understand each other without having to speak. Sabo saw him lie down next to him and hugged him again feeling in need of his touch. His arm wrapped around Ace's waist and he was no longer as embarrassed as on other occasions. They had started doing those sort of _things_ a bit more often, mostly very close hugs and a few kisses. He was getting more and more used to being around Ace.

Sabo was about to ask him if he could _do it_ , if he could come up and kiss him, but he felt it wasn't necessary. They both did it. Testing Ace's mouth always made his skin shiver. He sighed between his lips feeling an inexplicable relief when kissing him and wanted more. This was so strange, so new, that he thought about it maybe _too often_. It excited him and filled him with inexplicable vigor. He hugged Ace closer to him and felt his hands surround him too, hold him and caress his hair until the tickles ran down his back causing him to shiver.

Touching Ace felt too good and he had developed a special fascination for that curve that formed his body. He liked to outline it with his hand from the shoulder to the end of his back, but Sabo always stood there wondering if it was okay to go lower or not. He had a hard time understanding how those things worked, he wanted to touch, but he didn't know how far he could do it or what Ace wanted him to do.

On that occasion he perked up a little more and felt his friend jump in the middle of the kiss when he stroked over the jeans he was wearing. That part of Ace had grown a bit too, it was more _rounded_ , and Sabo felt his face redden furiously when he realized he was touching his butt and he liked it.

It was weird and electrifying, Ace thought. He turned to look at Sabo in surprise, not because he wanted him to move away. It made a bit of an impression on him, but he also liked the way his insides clenched when he did it. He flexed his leg to place it on top of Sabo's thinking that he wanted to be closer, but he also didn't want it to be uncomfortable for his friend, although it didn't seem like it because he felt that hand go down caressing his thigh and further accentuate that close proximity.

They kissed again. He plunged his mouth into Sabo's and felt Sabo's tongue enter his lips. The first time they tried to kiss like that it was a fiasco, but they had improved a lot. His teeth no longer banged in that desperate eagerness to want to taste even the other's throat. They learned to calm down and explore slowly, no matter how sometimes the craving won over them.

Sabo pushed against Ace when he felt his patience turning to fire in his belly. He kissed the corner of his lips, his cheek, and went a little lower to his neck. He had discovered the fierce way his friend shuddered if he kissed him there. Ace held onto him tightly and sighed when Sabo closed his lips against his skin. He could almost feel the other's body bristle through his clothes the more he kissed. His skin burned with fever and he kept thinking about hugging him _like that_.

Sabo was aware of the position they were in when Ace hugged him by the neck and felt him squeeze the shirt he was wearing. In his eagerness to want to taste him, he advanced further until he placed himself on top of his body, between his legs and with his teeth on his skin like an eager vampire.

"Ace ...?" Sabo muttered in a hoarse voice, pulling away to see him. He wanted to know if he was okay with this happening, with the way things were progressing, but he swallowed when he saw him.

Ever since he met him, and even more now, he thought Ace was cute. However, seeing him like this, biting his lips, his face red, and his eyes narrowing with tears; caused a very specific part of his body to throb. Sabo was embarrassed when he realized that detail and thought of walking away, but Ace just hugged him tighter.

"I like it," he said, licking his wet lips as Sabo looked at him expectantly. "It feels good."

He couldn't explain how he felt good, but he did. Ace didn't like exploring his body much or _touching himself_ , because it seemed strange to him. However, sometimes he had done it, but those were few. Against the bed, over his clothes, in the shower. Now, he could feel the same desire and perceived that something similar was happening to Sabo.

They kissed again and closed their eyes fearful that they were doing something wrong or hurting the other because of their own curious desire. They continued. They trusted and fell into the abyss holding hands.

Ace stroked Sabo's back, lifting his shirt a little and daring to touch that skin and lightly running his fingernails over it. He heard a soft groan his friend let out between his lips and he liked it very much. The cravings grew and the heat began to burn them. Sabo touched Ace's legs and wondered what it would be like to touch them without clothes, but that very thought gave him the chills. His body practically leaned against that of his best friend and he moved against him no longer caring if he noticed his state, his mind was clouded and shame was no longer an impediment to seeking relief.

Sabo swallowed when he heard him moan, clinging to him and hiding in his neck. He was unable to ponder exactly what was happening or what they were doing. He just moved his hip once more and did it again until the sounds escaped him being drowned out by the creaks of the old bed. It felt good, it was crazy, like the world was losing meaning and shape around them while they were only focused on each other.

The pressure was a lot. The muffled voices echoed between the corners of the house and the movements became more and more needy, more awkward and rough until something broke.

He heard Ace moan loudly in his ear and arched against his body in a way that almost made him pass out. Sabo tried to contain himself, because he knew what sensation was crowding his groin threatening to dirty his clothes, but it was impossible. When he realized it, he was breathing heavily next to Ace, not wanting to let go.

When they had caught their breath, Sabo pulled away and Ace let him go. They looked at each other, understanding in part what had just happened. Ace looked amazed, thoughtful and also very sorry as if something bad had happened.

"I..." Sabo stammered, pulling away enough to get on his knees in bed. "I have to go to the bathroom and..."

He got up without another word and Ace felt confused there just looking at the ceiling trying to process what they had done.

What he did with Sabo felt like when he touched himself, but a million times more intense. He could even still feel his crotch throbbing. He ran a hand over there and swallowed hard. He was scared but also very impressed. He sat on the bed finally calmer and his breathing normalized. He had many questions on his mind, although they were paused when Sabo returned to the room.

"Um..." he said doubtfully as he scratched his head and stood without bothering to approach. "Could you lend me clothes?"

Ace raised an eyebrow without understanding and then looked at his friend's pants. The fabric had a dark halo under his belly and Ace opened his eyes in surprise. _"Did he also ...?"_

He didn't say anything because it was obvious what happened and he only nodded feeling his face was already in all colors except normal. He went to the drawers where he kept his things and started rummaging.

"I should change, too," he said, thinking he was a little uncomfortable.

"I don't think you have this _problem,_ " Sabo said in frustration.

"It always feels very wet," he said, taking a clean pair of pants to go back to his friend, who was looking at him with his big eyes full of curiosity.

"Oh yeah? Is it wet?"

Those questions made him purse his lips and squeeze the cloth between his hands. Reminding Sabo of what was between his legs was weird and he didn't want Sabo to feel uncomfortable about mentioning it. However, it was not. Ace perceived how that always friendly hand lifted his face so that he could see the warm smile that he was giving him. The way he looked at him only made his heart pound.

As much as a few minutes ago they were kissing and intense things happened, they wanted to try the other's mouth again. The need burned them.

"I have to change..." Sabo mentioned in a tone that Ace couldn't identify but made him breathe harder.

"Yes..." he agreed. "I do too."

Silence. There were things they wanted to say and do, but they didn't have the words and they were afraid to act. Sabo held the hem of his shirt.

"Should I...?"

"I'm going to the bathroom," Ace interrupted and handed him the clothes. "Change your clothes in the meantime."

Sabo said nothing, just nodded and took the clothes. Ace left and when he locked himself in the bathroom he was free to breathe. His heart was pounding and he felt dizzy from so many questions that his head whirled.

He breathed out thinking about what happened. It was very _intense_ and he didn't know how to feel. His body was tired and his skin was still tingling. The situation got out of control, but was that wrong? They both seemed to like it, but he wasn't sure if that was the feeling he should have either.

He preferred to change into the clothes he brought and not think about it. When he dropped his pants he was surprised. God, that was too much. The few times he touched himself he knew that part was getting wet, but he was embarrassed to see himself now. He used all the paper to dry and left thinking that he should wash the clothes he hid in the laundry basket afterwards, but he would take care of that later. Now he was very tired.

Should he have changed in front of Sabo? He'd seen him naked —technically— before, but that didn't mean he was less shy about it. He didn't feel ready to show himself that way, but if he thought about the intimacy they'd just had ... it might not be completely insane.

People did that, didn't they? It was supposed to be fine or something. Ace was never really interested. Now this type of desire was beginning to awaken and everything seemed so strange, new and overwhelming that he didn't know how to react to each of the things that happened to him.

When he returned to his room, Sabo was sitting on his bed and seemed just as disturbed as Ace. Neither of them understood what was going on, but they did know that they both liked it and that it was fine.

Ace approached the bed and Sabo wrapped him in his arms. That's what he wanted. To hug him and continue kissing him a while longer.

"Are you tired?" Sabo asked, stroking his back. "What happened back then..."

"It's okay," Ace stepped forward smiling. "I liked it and... I think I could take a nap."

That seemed to amuse his friend and he heard him laugh. Ace slept a lot, he didn't know if it was because of his disorder or because he was a bear, but Sabo got used to that detail of his being. They both huddled under the covers and slept a while until Dadan appeared to yell at them to wake up.

When she saw them in bed that day, she started banning Sabo from sleeping there and Ace didn't understand what the problem was. They have slept together since they were children. Could it be that the woman had noticed something? Ace didn't ask, but Sabo kept sneaking around.

They didn't talk about what happened between them, but they weren't afraid to try again and explore what it was they were discovering.


	7. Chapter 7

In his room was the only space where Sabo could breathe easy inside that house. After years of living there, every corner overwhelmed him. He finished studying considerably early and yawned feeling tired. Every day he got up very early to study and finish his homework and classes and to then be free to do whatever he wanted.

His parents were always satisfied as long as he continued to maintain his outstanding status, but Sabo was not interested. Maybe when he was younger he did want to please them, but not anymore. They were fake and unpleasant. Thinking of his family like that made him feel guilty, but he couldn't think anything else whenever he saw their behavior. He was sick of going to those high society gatherings where they hung out with people just as hypocritical as they. Sabo was much happier there at home, with a chance to see Ace.

Ace...

Thinking of him made him smile. At least he had one person who was authentic in his life. No... He was even more than that.

Sabo recalled all the things he had researched on the Internet to show him. Ace didn't want to look at the computers of the cyber café in town, perhaps because he was embarrassed or so Sabo assumed. So he took it upon himself to find more information for him. What he had was not a disease or anything unusual, in fact he found many testimonies on YouTube. He wished he could invite Ace over to his house so he could use the computer he had there, but that was impossible.

He had already received several comments from his parents about his 'bad company'. He hated that they talked so easily about his life or judged Ace without knowing him, but he couldn't expect anything else from them.

Sabo got up ready to go out because he couldn't stand that place anymore, but he found his mother and brother in the living room. It was not a good sign. He walked past them hoping to be ignored but today was not his lucky day.

"Where do you think you're going?" His mother snapped, and Sabo sighed wearily.

"I'm getting out," he said firmly, just turning to see her and his 'brother' laughed.

"Are you going to see that boy again?" Stelly said with a disgusted grimace. "Although rather she is a girl who dresses as a man."

"How disgusting." The lady placed a hand on her chest in horror. "Her parents must be so ashamed."

He clenched his fists furiously. He had no idea how Stelly found out about Ace, but had taken it upon himself to tell his parents and throw poisonous comments whenever he saw him.

"And don't think you're going to go see that freak," his mother snapped severely. "Your father will go talk to you when he gets back."

Sabo held back all the things he wanted to spit at her at the time and went back the way he came, but before he stopped to just throw out a sentence.

"He is a boy," he said. "No matter what you or anyone else says."

He went to his room without wishing to hear what they had to answer. He locked the door and growled annoyed.

Why did they have to be like this? A mixture of frustration and pain swirled in his chest. He didn't like them talking like that about someone important to him. Sabo felt like an alien in that house.

How was he supposed to have friends if they discriminated against the ono he cared about? Sabo was not interested in those rich and noble friendships that his parents wanted to impose on him. More than a million times they tried to get him to reach out to children, children of his wealthy friends, to socialize, but they were very boring. The worst was when they wanted to introduce him to girls or, as her mother called them, _potential girlfriends_.

It made him sick to think about it. People were not merchandise. Those girls were not objects that were shown to him to decide which one to keep. He felt horror every time he heard them talk like that, almost as much as when they insulted Ace.

Sabo wondered what his family would think if they knew he was as weird as Ace, that he had kissed him and liked it. Maybe they would give him as a sacrifice or so he imagined, although he didn't want their approval either and knew he would never get it.

When he met Ace, Sabo felt drawn to him because he was a different kind of boy, strong and fun. Being with him meant freedom. With Ace there were no rules to follow or expectations to meet. It was all fun and he was always filled with a warm feeling when thinking about him.

As a child he was afraid of this because he was not supposed to feel this way about his friend or so he had been taught. Girls had to like him, but then why did he think he would like to kiss Ace instead of a girl? He was afraid of not knowing what was happening to him and more than once he almost followed his impulse during their years of friendship. He didn't want to ruin his relationship with him.

Now he wasn't used to how things had changed.

Knowing his secret gave them new confidence. Sabo had the courage to advance because Ace allowed him to, although he was sure that he would have done it had the circumstances been different too. He was happy that he trusted him.

Ace was beautiful, he had known that since he was 10 years old, when he was afraid to admit that a man could be beautiful, but Ace trusting him in this way made his heart pound.

It was always Ace who was on his mind. He was not interested in any of the girls he had met or anyone else. Even before finding out what Ace really was, he knew he wanted to be this close to him. He didn't care about his gender or his body, but how he made him feel. When they were little he liked it and developed a warm feeling for Ace that bubbled in his chest. Now when he thought of him, he felt warmth. Fire.

He felt things that he was ashamed to admit, but at the same time, that excited him. He wanted to share everything with him and that filled him with vigor. He wanted to see him.

He went to the window of his room to open it. The house was huge and his room was on the third floor. Something his parents didn't know is that Sabo had become very good at climbing in his childhood. He remembered for a moment the tree house he made with Ace and how, after discovering the Internet and when a cyber cafe was built downtown, they completely put that aside to go gaming. It was also fun.

He quickly dodged the pipes on the edge of his window. He jumped up to the nearby tree and climbed down without a problem. He was outside at last. He didn't' give a shit about the consequences, he wanted to get out of that boring hell for a while.

When he got to Ace's house, Sabo didn't expect there to be so much noise that it would even be heard a few meters before entering. Usually his friend was alone and sometimes there was a fuss when Dadan was there, but this scandal had another ring to his voice. Sabo regretted a bit when he knocked on the door, maybe he should have retraced his steps and returned in a few days, when that man was gone, but he didn't feel well leaving Ace alone with that visit either.

He gulped when that giant wall of a man opened the door to him. He had always been struck by how huge Garp was, because he was quite intimidating and didn't treat him in the best way, not to say he was a little monstrous.

"So you finally show up, brat," the man snapped, bending down to take a closer look. The smell of the sea and rice crackers flooded his senses.

"It is also a pleasure to see you, as always," he said wryly, earning himself a punch to the head that made him scream.

"Just as irreverent as the other one," he said, then pulled away. "Go in that the food will get cold."

"Food?" He repeated without understanding, but the moment he entered the house a delicious smell made his stomach vibrate.

It was already spring, but the heat really hadn't come, although that didn't stop them from making a lentil stew that threatened to turn his mouth into a river. He found Ace sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and very upset. He had already started fighting with Garp long before Sabo appeared, now he was just raging in a corner until he was fed. He was like a puppy and Sabo liked that.

The instant he saw him, Ace relaxed. Maybe if he really was a dog now he would be wagging his tail contentedly. He always got annoyed when the old man appeared by surprise, Garp butted into his life and wanted to tell him what to do all the time. Ace couldn't stand it. Also, he was coming now because of his birthday when five months had already passed, everything with the excuse of his work.

Sabo just laughed to relax him and said the food would make him feel better, which was very true. Dadan's _servants_ cooked an amazing lunch, of which nothing was left and Ace lost count of how many times he repeated after his third plate. Garp told some stories from his trip and whenever the old man spoke he was very funny. It was a good late birthday meal, though Ace wasn't sure to call it that. The best thing was that they later got ice cream and sat down to eat it together with Sabo while they watched television.

"Is that Episode V?" Sabo asked, recognizing the movie.

"It's the best," Ace said, but his friend didn't seem to agree.

"Hmm... but the VI isn't bad either."

They always had that discussion about which movie was better, although they agreed that all the prequels were bad.

"I can't accept your opinion, you think Episode III is better than II."

"Oh, but it's so boring to see Anakin and Padme in love."

Ace had to agree there. Star Wars was one of the many things they shared and always watched together in a marathon. In a distracted moment, Ace stole some ice cream from him and Sabo got mad at him, but they both laughed. It was normal to steal food, fight for it and end up laughing.

From the kitchen, Garp watched the children watch his movie and make jokes that only they understood. He drank the coffee Dadan brought him and remembered the times the woman claimed there was _something_ there. She even told him that she had tried to ban Sabo from staying in the house or at least from sleeping with Ace but that, she assured, was impossible. However, he thought that perhaps she was exaggerating. If they were just two brats or so he thought. He watched covertly as Ace put his head on Sabo's shoulder as he fell asleep and neither of them seemed to mind being this close, quite the contrary.

Garp frowned. He knew he had to take care of Ace. Perhaps until now he had ignored some _details_ of the child's parenting but now it was a much more crucial stage. So far, he had given his job a high priority and hoped that Ace would be fine without him. However, perhaps he needed more attention. Sengoku's words spun in his head _"Something bad will happen if you keep leaving him to his own devices"_ and Garp knew he was right. He knew that Dadan took good care of the boy, but it was up to him to deal with _certain issues_ regarding his growth.

He sighed thinking that maybe it was the moment to take some time for that and not avoid it anymore.

When he looked back at the chair, Ace was already awake but still had his head on Sabo's shoulder. They both laughed and whispered totally incomprehensible things to their ears. He could understand what Dadan was referring to regarding those two, but part of him still thought that she might be exaggerating. Or maybe he wasn't ready to admit that Ace was no longer a child.

The next day, Ace woke up expecting Dadan to be there or to be alone as usual, but Garp hadn't left. Being alone together was quite strange and they looked at each other in part as if they were two strangers. He loved the old man, in a way, but it was a little difficult for him to live together because they were not used to it. Garp asked him if he wanted tea and Ace accepted sitting down at the table.

"Do you know that Rosi adopted a child?" He commented handing him the cup of tea and Ace looked at him impressed.

"Really? I can't imagine him being a father." He remembered how clumsy Rosinante was and hoped that the boy would be all right. Garp laughed.

"He's a brat, barely 3 years old, but he seems to be taking it well," he explained as he put a bag of cookies on the table and ate them. Ace also took some. "He rescued him from a city where there was an epidemic, he lost his family."

He swallowed when he heard the story and was concerned. He hadn't shared too many moments with Rosinante, but he did appreciate him and knew he was a good person. No wonder he did that for that boy. Garp had done something similar for him if he had to be honest, but it was different.

"And isn't it... dangerous?" He said, hesitating on how to express himself and Garp denied.

"It wasn't contagious," he explained. "The disease appeared to be caused by a mineral found in the area, but they didn't know it was poisonous. It affected only those who lived nearby."

He nodded understanding the situation and hoped that everything was fine. What would the child Rosi adopted be like? He still couldn't imagine him, it was quite shocking news. He thought he remembered Dadan telling him about what had happened in a city, but he wasn't sure. Although what he least expected was that Rosinante had adopted a child.

"They're in Spain now," Garp continued speaking. "Sengoku is going to see them soon and I thought I'd take a break too."

Ace listened to everything he was saying as he sipped his tea. If he wasn't wrong, part of Rosinante's biological family was in Spain, at least one strange brother he had. Maybe he was visiting him with his son.

"I thought you might go in the summer, too."

That last sentence made him choke on the tea.

"What?" He snapped in surprise and blinked. "Go? Me? To Spain?"

The old man nodded. Ace had never been out of there. It was always the others who came to visit, but that would be the first time he would travel elsewhere. There was a reason why he couldn't go out, why Garp always told him that he should stay in that town, did something change? He was shocked as he thought about it, but Garp spoke again.

"I was thinking you might stay with us," he said, and Ace looked at him blankly. "You have to finish school and then see where you want to go to..."

"Wait," Ace interrupted, raising a hand trying to process what he said. "What do you mean by stay? Do you mean to live there?"

There was no answer, but Garp said it all with his silence and Ace erupted in anger.

"What?!" He snapped, getting up from his chair almost causing him to fall back. "To live with you? You're crazy, old man! I'm not going to leave."

"You will do as I tell you to, brat," he said, rising, but neither the authoritative tone nor the demeanor of that man intimidated him.

"You can't decide for me, you never cared about me!"

"I wouldn't have protected you from the whole world if I didn't care."

Ace clenched his fists and was furious. He knew what Garp had done for him, protecting him from all the people who wanted to see him dead for who his father had been. That's why he lived in the middle of nowhere, but since when did he want to watch him in the first person too?

"I don't want to," he said firmly. "You can't decide for me. What about Dadan? What about...?"

Ace didn't say it, but in his heart were the words. _What about Sabo?_

Maybe just because of that detail he was so upset. He didn't want to leave the most significant person in his life and he wouldn't. That old man could go to hell.

Garp was unfazed, however.

"I still have some business to solve so you can travel," he said, ignoring Ace's annoyance and starting to walk toward the door. "I'll be back in September, so start getting used to the idea."

He was silent again after the door closed and Ace found himself there alone. Three months to September, how could he solve this earlier? Determination was reflected in his eyes.

He would run away.


	8. Chapter 8

That afternoon when Sabo visited him, Ace wasn't very talkative. He didn't feel like going out for a walk or doing anything. They decided to lock themselves in their room and read. It was one of the hobbies they had acquired. Sabo, in his eagerness to show him that reading was fun, began bringing books and spending hours reading them aloud. Sometimes he or Ace read them. At first he hadn't liked it, but later on it got interesting. His imagination flew very fast with each narration.

This time, it was Sabo's turn to read. He was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall and Ace lying with his head on his legs. The atmosphere was very nice, but he couldn't concentrate and Sabo noticed it.

He didn't even realize he stopped reading and put a hand on his head. _The adventures of Tom Sawyer_ had seemed like an interesting story to him when Sabo told him about it, but at that moment he felt unable to pay attention. He barely heard the beginning of the reading and instantly ended up lost in thought.

"What's happening?" Sabo asked in a soft voice.

"Nothing," Ace said, looking up at him. "Why do you stop?"

"Because you haven't listened for a long time, what's wrong?"

A sigh came from his lips and he rose to sit next to Sabo. He had to tell him why he was so tormented, there was no one else with whom he could share.

"Garp wants me to move in with him," he said without hesitation, and Sabo looked at him in shock.

Ace always had that sharp and direct way of speaking, but he was used to it.

"What? Will you go with him?"

"I don't want to, but... I hate that he wants to force me."

This greatly confused Sabo. He didn't understand why Garp suddenly appeared wanting to take Ace when they lived together for a very short time.

"But something happened?" He asked. "Why does he want you to live with him now and not before?"

He saw Ace bite his lip and look elsewhere. He didn't seem to want to speak and Sabo was about to tell him that it wasn't necessary, but he interrupted him.

"Do you know who Gold Roger is?" He asked, causing more confusion in Sabo.

"Sure," he agreed. "Everyone knows who he is. He was the leader of a major mafia and they say he stole a lot of money before he died. He was very famous."

There was a great silence between them until Ace decided to speak.

"Well, he's my... father."

Silence again.

Sabo blinked thinking he misheard. Father? Ace had a father? And was...?

"WHAT?"

"Don't shout!"

How did he expect him not to shout? He was too shocked not to.

"Sorry," he said, lowering his voice. "Are you serious? Is incredible."

Ace snorted in exasperation.

"Of course not," he snapped. "That guy abandoned me and my mother. Garp keep me here because that asshole had many enemies."

"And isn't it dangerous to take you with him?"

"I don't know," Ace replied with a shrug. "He says everything is calmer now, but I'm not interested. I don't want to go."

He didn't know much about his biological parents, beyond the crime and that his mother died as soon as he was born. Gold Roger had left them and died before Ace was born. Garp protected him from the people who wanted to harm him or look for him to find out where was the fortune his father had reaped, as if he knew it, or maybe just take revenge on that _demon_ that caused them so much trouble.

Ace was not interested in anything to do with Gold Roger. He had only caused him trouble and his abandonment even led to his mother's death. Why would he be interested in something about this man? Because of him now he had to stay hidden from the world.

"And what do you plan to do?" Sabo asked and the determination in Ace's eyes overwhelmed him.

"Do you want to run away with me?" Ace said without thinking. He had already decided to do it, but he only said it because at that moment he believed that he wanted that boy with him forever.

Sabo blinked without understanding. Run away? Together? He had a lot of questions in his head, but from the moment Ace told him there was a chance they had to part, Sabo felt an emptiness in his chest. He didn't want that to happen. When he looked him in the eye, his answer was very clear. Sabo said nothing and went to kiss him. Wordlessly, Ace understood many things through Sabo's lips.

_I would do anything with you, Ace._

_I would go anywhere, Ace._

_I love you_ **...**

**.**

**.**

**.**

It was fortunate for Ace that Dadan didn't enter his room much, so she wouldn't know what was going on there. He carried a plate of food into the room that the woman ignored. She looked tired and almost fell asleep while dining, which made him assume that she didn't suspect or realize that he wasn't alone. He passed the door of his room and there he found Sabo reading very calmly.

Dadan was no longer letting them sleep in the same room, so they had to do this and go unnoticed by the woman, but they did it quite well or so they believed. He handed Sabo a plate with several slices of pizza and sat next to him. His bed was quite old and the wood creaked, so they decided to throw the mattress on the floor so it didn't make a noise every time they moved.

Ace put a finger to his lips in a gesture of silence because they still couldn't speak until Dadan entered her room. For some reason, all this seemed fun and filled them with adrenaline. Sabo smiled at him and they both ate in silence until they thought everything would be fine.

As soon as they felt free, Sabo reached inside his backpack and showed Ace some things he had brought. When no one saw him, he looked for information on the Internet and printed some things that he thought could help them. Maps, bus schedules, nearby stops. Ace looked at him with a big smile and felt that everything was becoming more real, they could seriously run away together.

"So we have to go to this city to take a train," he said, looking at the map with the notes Sabo made, and Sabo nodded.

"Yes, with that we'll arrive to this city."

He bit his lips expectantly. When he made the decision to run away, he thought about grabbing a backpack and walking anywhere thinking what to do day by day. With Sabo there, helping him plan and leaving with him, made him feel much more confident about that decision. However, he noticed his friend somewhat thoughtful and crestfallen.

"What's happening?"

"Nothing," Sabo replied without taking his eyes off the map. "I just thought we don't know where to go next..."

Ace frowned and didn't know what to say, but wasn't that what adventure was about? About uncertainty?

"We don't have much money either, nor we think about what we are going to live on."

"Mmh..." Ace scratched his head feeling jaded at the thought. "No need, we can get some jobs."

"It's hard for us to get a job," Sabo said, thinking they wouldn't be given a good job because they were still technically children. It would be difficult for them.

Ace frowned and pursed his lips, feeling an ache that tightened his throat.

"You don't want to do it?" He asked directly, and Sabo's surprised silence pained him, but perhaps he should understand him. Maybe he didn't want to leave his family to have an uncertain and messy life with him. "You don't have to come if you don't want to..."

He felt his friend take his hand and came to kiss him unexpectedly. Sabo always did that when they were alone. He kissed him, hugged him, caressed his waist; and Ace melted from any of those things.

"It's not that," he said, pulling apart. "I just worry about stuff."

"Don't do it, we'll be fine." Ace smiled, reaching up to stroke the little blonde curls. "We're going to visit many places and if we are together... everything will be fine."

Sabo felt a little silly for hesitating. He needed Ace's confidence more than he had imagined. That decision was too difficult, he believed that it would be impossible to survive like this, but when he was with Ace he felt capable of everything. He didn't want to separate from him and had understood that it was the only way.

"You're right," he said, pressing his forehead against Ace's. He wanted to kiss him again. "Don't listen to me."

Feeling him go through his mouth again was very exhilarating to Ace. He was still getting used to how every inch of his skin bristled whenever Sabo got close, let alone the frantic way his chest vibrated. They already had several kisses together, but each one was just as intense and always made them want more of all that.

After that time where they went as far as to _rub each other_ in clothes, they were both significantly mobilized and stimulated.

Ace was a sea of confusion because he liked all that was happening, but he didn't fully understand the reactions of his body. It was possibly the first time that he explored so much those parts that he believed were not his, with which he didn't identify, but now it was a little different. With Sabo he was discovering that perhaps it was not as bad to have the body as he did. It felt good when he touched it, and if his friend liked it, Ace could live with it.

"What if... you sit here?" Sabo asked very nervously, pointing to his legs.

If he was honest, he had searched the Internet for more than just information for his trip. Now that _things_ were happening with Ace, he wanted to know what else they could do. He was never interested in pornography, nor could he search too much on a computer that someone in his family would later discover. He only saw a few images and one gave him that interesting idea.

Ace didn't seem very convinced, but he didn't say anything and he did. He thought it would be awkward, but it wasn't. Sabo was sitting with his back to the wall, so Ace put one leg on either side of his hip and held onto the other's shoulders. He liked it because they could be as close as they wanted and having their legs like that was not as bothersome. He shuddered when Sabo's hands touched his hip, he bit his lips feeling wet and his face warm.

Kissing like that was very similar to when they had done _that_ in that bed. Sabo sighed as he opened his mouth to capture Ace's and enjoyed the caresses he gave him in his hair. Maybe if they went together, would they do this every day? The thought of it made his stomach clench.

Ace moved against him trying to get comfortable and he felt good, too, so much that they started to move like that day. They couldn't make much noise, so they didn't stop kissing so that the moans drowned in each other's throat. The heat washed over them and Sabo dared to lift Ace's shirt, this time he didn't feel like he had to ask permission. Clothing was a nuisance to them who wanted to see each other again and touch everything that shame had kept them from feeling before.

As soon as they pulled away, they were breathing heavily and looked at each other intensely, almost darkly. It was very scary and addictive to do all of this. He kissed Ace's face and went down to his neck. It was nice to feel his best friend flinch and lean over showing him more skin to taste. His hands caressed him and climbed up to _that_ _part_ that always caught his eye, which was neither male nor female, was Ace's. His thumb brushed against the slightly hardened nipple and he swallowed as he felt how it got hard.

Sabo didn't quite know how he should touch, it was just instinctive and guided by what his friend seemed to like. He touched until his head leaned further seeking to use his mouth. Ace gasped as he squeezed his shoulders and trembled.

"Do you like it?" Sabo asked, raising his head and saw how he bit his lips trying not to moan loudly, that was enough of an answer to continue, putting more effort.

Occasionally, Ace touched his chest because it was pleasant, but it wasn't something where he stopped too long. He never expected that Sabo's wet tongue curling into that controversial part of his body would make him shudder so violently. He moved his hip again and closed his eyes as he threw his head back feeling his skin turn to fire at any moment.

One of Sabo's hands came down to meet the jeans he was wearing and he held the fabric tight. What kind of kink had that boy with squeezing his ass? It didn't matter, because Ace liked it.

"Do you want to get out of..." Ace muttered as he hesitated whether to continue talking or not. Sabo understood instantly and parted from him watching him.

"Yes."

They almost seemed to swallow in unison. Ace stepped away to remove the rest of his clothes and Sabo did the same. The room was completely dark and they huddled under the covers. His hands immediately searched for his best friend's warm body and mouth. They tangled their legs together and stroked each other across every inch of skin as if it were the first time they had done so. So many new and overwhelming sensations that could not be controlled.

He put one leg on top of Sabo's again, atop of his hip, and felt Sabo grab his thigh. His hands felt so soft and warm that Ace couldn't stop vibrating the more he touched him. He jumped and almost pulled away when he felt that hand run across his abdomen and he wanted to lower it further.

"Sorry," Sabo apologized embarrassed. "I thought it was okay if... I won't if you don't want to."

His lips tightened into an indecisive grimace. He was a little scared to do that, but he felt he could trust Sabo at this point. He took the hand of his best friend to guide him between his legs.

At first, the first thing he felt was that he was wet, but he was also smooth like Ace overall. He parted the folds with his fingers and blinked in amazement as they soaked. He stroked with some awkwardness and Ace seemed too nervous.

"Am I not doing it well?" He asked worried. "Can you teach me?"

Ace didn't answer and took a few moments to move. He took Sabo's hand again and showed him where he liked it.

"There," he said. "And in... circles."

Sabo nodded and moved his fingers as Ace taught him. It was slow because he was afraid of hurting him, but he found it fascinating. Everything was so wet and hot that he bit his lips eagerly as he touched that little bump Ace seemed to like. He felt him press against his body and hide his face against his neck as he continued to move his hand. The small moans and breathes grew louder, faster, against his neck so much that Sabo also groaned completely excited.

He had to stop himself not to make loud sounds, but it was very difficult for Ace, especially when he felt _that_ _part_ of his body contracted several times until the fire inside him exploded like a bomb. It was still weird when it happened when he was alone, but now much more with Sabo. He liked it, too.

He breathed heavily against his friend's skin and he seemed to understand that _something intense_ had just happened because he stopped touching him. Ace looked him in the eye and kissed him for no reason, just because he wanted to.

"Was it good?" Sabo asked and smiled when he received a confirmation. He showed his hand to Ace. It was very wet.

"Stop!" He snapped, embarrassed. "It's always like this."

Sabo raised an eyebrow in surprise, but didn't question it. There were many things about Ace that he was still understanding. A stifled sigh escaped him when he felt a sneaky hand grab his penis.

"It's hard," Ace murmured, clenching his fingers and going down.

"It's always like this," he replied, quoting his friend's words, but then corrected himself. "Whenever I touch it or... I think of you."

That was a powerful statement and Ace looked at him in shock. His insides clenched just imagining the double meaning behind that phrase. He continued to touch it, because he also wanted to see Sabo melted by him. This time it was his turn to moan against Ace's skin to quell the sounds. He had to be strong and hold back, but it was very difficult with that hand that squeezed him in an intense sway and sometimes stopped to caress his wet glans, eager for more, but he was not ready for it to finish yet.

Sabo kissed Ace hard, enough to push him against the bed and settle between his legs. That position was warm, the arms of his best friends settled on his neck while the legs hugged his hip. Ace made him feel things he didn't quite understand and made him want to give them a name. He moved his hip and rubbed once more against him. Without clothes it was another level of enjoyment much more intense than they achieved that first time. His member brushed against Ace and Sabo pushed it with the intention of soaking up some of the moisture that had been between his fingers.

What would happen if they went further? The idea induced panic and too much enthusiasm. He knew what had to happen, but he never imagined doing it, until those things began to happen between them. Ace was in a similar situation, but he was convinced it would hurt like hell. Would he still want to do it? People seemed to enjoy it, it was always another highly anticipated moment in the soap operas that he watched with Dadan. If everyone enjoyed it, why couldn't they?

They both looked at each other with some doubt and realized they were thinking the same thing. Maybe they should continue as they were, but being carried away by their insecurities didn't convince them either.

"Are you afraid?" Ace asked unexpectedly, and Sabo shrugged.

"We can stop..."

They didn't really want to. They were in heat and more eager than they had been in all the other times they were this close. What better time than now?

"Let's continue," he agreed, filling himself with courage and Sabo leaned down to kiss him.

There was fire, hunger, and intensity on his lips. It gave him more confidence to move on. Sabo positioned himself better between Ace's legs, more comfortable, and brushed his glans against all that moisture.

"It's here," Ace showed him. There were not many options, it was _that_ hole.

"If you don't like... we stop, okay?"

Sabo wanted to make sure because he was afraid of hurting Ace, he had the most uncomfortable part in this whole thing. He only continued when he received a confirmation. He took a deep breath and continued.

It was difficult and very, very, slow. Sabo stopped every time he felt Ace tense up even more and dug his nails into his shoulders, which he interpreted as 'wait a bit, goddamn it,' but it was hard to bear how _tight_ he was. He had no idea how long they were like this, but he would wait all night or as long as Ace deemed necessary. Sabo himself had to stop a couple of times and take a deep breath because the pressure was so high that he was afraid of coming unexpectedly. Would Ace get mad if he did that? Maybe.

They hugged each other tightly when he entered him completely and asked Ace if he was okay. He said yes, although his grimace showed discomfort. It hadn't been as cumbersome as he thought. As he began to move, the grimaces gradually turned into pleasant gestures. Ace sighed as he threw his head back and bit his lips as his pillow was stained with disheveled black hair. He pulled Sabo against him when he felt he started to like it and lifted his hip wanting more of that wild new feeling.

They merged into a mess of legs, bites, and furious kisses as they struggled to indulge each other's wishes, drowning in that bed trying not to be heard. Sabo tried to hold on, because he didn't want to stop feeling Ace attached to him, but it was almost impossible when he felt him squeeze him and moan his name in his ear. Never before had he heard something as sensual and exciting as Ace's voice whispering to him like that. His body trembled along with his friend's and they both collapsed feeling sweaty, out of breath, and exhilarated by what they had just done.

When Sabo came out from inside Ace, he fell to his side and hugged him stroking his back that was beginning to cool.

"It was... intense," Ace said tiredly, feeling his body fatigued. He would go to take a shower, but he was exhausted, so he would have to sleep like this.

"Did you like it?" Sabo met Ace's gaze and Ace said yes, which made him smile. "I never thought about doing it with someone..."

There was a small silence where they both remained thoughtful about what happened. They weren't virgins now, were they? They didn't feel different, apart from the corporal fatigue that would disappear after sleeping. That virginity business was ridiculous.

"From now on..." Ace murmured. "We can do it together."

"Just you and me?" He said, thinking he liked the idea, although there was no one else he wanted to do it with. "It sounds almost like being boyfriends... Do you want to be my boyfriend, Ace?"

His heart stopped for a second and then burst completely. Despite everything they had done, he never imagined that they could become something like that. How silly, if they had talked about escaping and practically sharing their lives. It was the same as being boyfriends, and even more.

"I do."

After answering, Sabo kissed him and they smiled between each other's lips. They liked being together, in every possible way, why couldn't they be dating? That was what love was about and adversity would not separate them, at least that's what they believed at that time lying in bed where nothing could harm them under the covers where they expressed those feelings more than once after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Well, now an intense stage of this story is about to begin. Thank you very much to all who have read. A few days ago I uploaded another Sabo/Ace fanfic, you can read it here: [The girl on the train](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005586)  
> It's just genderbend and lesbian pwp. I'll be making more chapters soon.  
> Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

That day was crucial. It was almost mid-September and at any moment the old man would appear to take him away. If they didn't leave soon, it would be too late. He was a little sorry to leave without saying goodbye to Dadan, but maybe later he could send her a letter or some message saying he was fine. The important thing was to escape first.

Ace kept everything he thought he needed in a large backpack.HeI didn't have too much. Clothes, some savings, a pocketknife —who knows when he might need it— a lighter, and other things he thought useful.

He would wait for Sabo in the forest, where they used to play when they were younger. They were supposed to meet as soon as the sun was up, so Ace sneaked out of his house when it was still night. Dawn came and he felt impatient, soon they would be far away from there.

When he reached the desired location, just below the tree house they had built but was already very old, he met Sabo and smiled. His gesture changed when he noticed that he wasn't alone.

Ace blinked, not understanding what was happening. He didn't know these people and, by Sabo's gesture, he knew that something was wrong.

"So this is it," said a man dressed in elegant blue clothing. His black mustache and his appearance seemed copied from some Disney villain, but still Ace felt the contempt with which he looked at him. "You are the one who was filling my son's head with nonsense."

Son?

He looked at Sabo, who was lying on the ground with a swollen cheek. A hit. He saw him wipe his mouth and get up.

"Ace, I..." He wanted to speak but another guy stopped him abruptly. He assumed he was some kind of bodyguard.

"What's happening?" Ace asked, coming out of his amazement and coming closer. He wanted to go to Sabo, but the guy, who claimed to be his father, stood in the middle.

"Did you want to convince my son to run away?" The man said, and Ace swallowed hard. He felt the look of apology in Sabo's eyes. "He would never leave with a deviant rat like you."

That comment made him boil with fury. That guy thought he could hurt him? He didn't even know him or care. He wanted to hit him regardless of being Sabo's father, but Sabo's voice stopped him.

"Stop!" Sabo shouted and approached his father. "This is not..."

"Did you forget what we talked about, Sabo?"

He saw him clench his teeth at his father's words and turn to see the thug behind him. Ace didn't understand what was going on in that confusing moment. He could see the frustration in Sabo's grimace and even more when he approached him.

"Sorry, Ace," he finally said and tried to smile. "You were right... I can't go with you. I don't think we can see each other anymore... Go home, okay? Dadan sure will worry if..."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Sabo?" He snapped, looking at him incredulously. "They're forcing you, you don't have to..."

"Enough, Ace," he interrupted. "I'm serious."

He could feel the sweat running down Sabo's forehead when he heard the footsteps of these men approaching them to separate them. Ace reached to take the hand of his friend, his boyfriend, to pull him and run but they had no time. They ripped him off and Ace ended up lying on the grass. Again, that barrier of contempt separated them.

Ace didn't give up anyway. He wanted to fight, but that mastodon gave him two strong blows that were able to make his nose bleed and break his lip.

"Don't hurt him!" Sabo yelled, but they didn't let him get close either and looked at his father reproachfully. "You said he would be fine."

"As long as he behaved like a person, but I see that you were hanging out with an animal."

A beastly growl rose from the back of his throat upon hearing it. He couldn't allow everything to end like this, but his strength was not enough to prevail. He was weak to defend whom he loved most.

"And this is how one should treat animals."

Hearing that phrase, he received another blow and his head felt stunned, so much so that he didn't hear Sabo's screams. He blinked, his hands and face stained with his own blood. The situation hurt more than all those blows.

"Ace, please go..." Sabo asked in an anguished tone, but he wasn't going to back off. He was not like that. "No matter what you do, I won't leave with you."

"Lies..." he murmured, clenching his fists. "I know it's not what you want."

He saw pain in his best friend's eyes and wanted to get closer to him, but they didn't let them.

"You will never see my son again," the man said with disgust in his eyes.

Ace spat out saliva mixed with blood showing how much his opinion mattered to him and the horrified look on that man's face gave him a bit of satisfaction.

He had to accept that he couldn't fight any more, that he couldn't win there no matter how stubborn he was. Sabo left and Ace returned home with his body sore and his clothes stained with blood.

Dadan wasn't home, luckily. She didn't see him, but maybe later he should explain the bruises and wounds, now he didn't want to think about it. Many times he had fights, so he knew how to heal himself. As he disinfected and bandaged his wounds, he kept thinking of Sabo.

What could he do to help him? It was obvious that his parents were forcing him to say all that. Sabo never lied to him, he was always honest and sincere with him. In all the moments they shared and even in that intimacy they enjoyed, Ace knew that it was all real. He was not going to believe this.

Still, he felt a little guilty. Maybe Sabo didn't want to run away from the beginning and Ace demanded him to go, but they would never see each other again if he left with Garp, although now he was feeling a very similar sensation.

As soon as he left the bathroom bandaged, he looked for his cell phone. It was quite simple, but at least it let him send messages and receive calls. He even took photos from time to time, even though his screen was broken, but he could read quite well. He had a message.

_"Sorry."_

His heart squeezed while reading it. It wasn't too long since Sabo had written to him and Ace answered him. He sent several messages saying that he was fine, asking what happened and said that they could meet again. That they could still go together.

No message was answered and he wasn't even sure if he read them.

He called once, twice, three times; until he ran out of credit. He was always answered by the answering machine.

It was all very bad and Ace felt like he was wasting his time sitting there, but what could he do?

He devised a million stupid plans but none of them convinced him. He couldn't think how he could help him. Hours passed and night fell. Ace felt weak, tired, and full of frustration, so much so that he cried. Bitter tears ran down his eyes and he wanted to pull his hair out to remove those feelings that were choking him.

Why couldn't he be a little stronger? Why should they subjugate themselves to what others said?

Ace tried hard so that the comments of others didn't matter to him in his life, but at that moment he thought a lot about Sabo and his family. He knew they had money, he had even seen the giant house where he lived, but his friend always seemed disinterested. Even more, Ace had heard him complain about it. But what if he was being a nuisance in his life?

Perhaps with all that money from his parents, Sabo could do many things. Becoming someone important or even writing the silly novels he talked about all the time. If Ace made him run away it meant saying goodbye to those possibilities. Did he really have the right to do something like that? As much as he loved him as he did, why should he stop him from having the bright future he deserved? The world needed people like Sabo, smart, skilled, and kind-hearted.

Maybe it wasn't the best decision they made. Neither that nor any.

The pain in his chest suffocated him causing everything around him to have a black tint and he didn't know how he could get out of that situation.

The world needed Sabo maybe, but Ace did too.

The next day, Ace woke up very late because he didn't sleep all night. He left his house without a fixed course, but he was very sure that something had to be done. As soon as he closed the door he found Makino and it seemed strange. She used to visit them sometimes, but this time there was something different. She looked worried and ran to him.

"Ace, something terrible happened," the woman said and despaired.

He listened to what she had to say and ran away. He couldn't believe it. It had to be a lie. Something had happened to Sabo, an accident. Makino couldn't explain, but Ace ran without thinking. What would have happened to him? Could it be that they hurt him? He ran and ran until his lungs almost came out, but he reached the door of that huge house.

He never entered, because he knew how complicated Sabo's family was, but he had been close enough to know that this was the place. A huge mansion with large grounds. He swallowed and knocked on the door.

A woman opened it. Ace assumed she was an employee, but he hardly noticed. He demanded to see Sabo and, as much as she insisted that he was in the wrong place, he forced his way through.

"What is this scandal?" A man snapped coming down the stairs. Ace already knew who that idiot was.

Behind him appeared a blonde woman and a child who looked repulsively familiar to him. Everyone looked at him like he was an alien who landed at his house.

"Excuse me, sir," said the clerk. "He forced himself in to see the young lord..."

She tried to take his arm to get him out but Ace didn't let her.

"What happened to Sabo? What did you do to him ?!"

His claim seemed to impact those people, who Ace recognized as Sabo's family. Whoever they were, he didn't care at all.

"You again..." the man snapped and Ace looked at him with the same hatred.

"My dear, is this the little rat that tried to seduce our son? What impudence to appear here," the woman said, looking even more disgusted.

"Where is he?" Ace shouted, annoyed, ready to break through. "I want to see him."

"You're not going anywhere," said the authoritative man. "Sabo is not here, he left before us. Last night he left enrolled at one of the best schools, a place where someone like you could never even dream of."

He stopped breathing when he heard that and his legs trembled with the intention of making him fall, but he resisted.

"What...?"

He didn't understand. What does it mean it was no longer there? It must be a lie.

"What you heard," Sabo's father continued. "So you better leave."

He was barely able to process that information and didn't accept it. It had to be another lie. Makino said something very different to him and, if Ace had to choose who to trust, the answer was clear.

"Something happened to him," he snapped, annoyed at how they were treating him. "You did something to him, I'm sure."

Both parents looked at each other confused and laughed at him.

"Of course we did something," the woman said. "Protect him from you."

"He even seemed happy to go."

"That's a lie!" Ace interrupted angrily. "Sabo would never say something like that! He hates his life here! He...!"

"Believe what you want," the father interrupted, "but I recommend that you accept it and never look for him again. He has a great future ahead and a fiancée from a good family, instead you... Surely you _entertained him_ long enough."

His fists trembled with the urge to hit that guy and he almost did but a gorilla, probably a bodyguard from that family, smashed him to the ground before he could do anything. It was the same one that hit him the day before.

"I don't know at what point it occurred to you that our son was going to be with you," the woman snapped in horror as she looked at him on the floor like trash.

Ace carefully lifted up holding his face and the boy approached him laughing with a mockery that only boiled his fury.

"A girl who dresses like a boy," Stelly mentioned with a disgusted grimace. "Ugh, how disgusting."

He couldn't stand it anymore. He punched the hateful dwarf in the face drawing out blood and threw him to the ground. Satisfaction ran through his veins for a second, but instantly he was the one hit by the thug again as the boy cried on his mom's skirts saying he was a monster. At least he had the pleasure of making him cry and pull out a tooth.

"Let _her_ out of my sight," she asked as she hugged her son.

In a blink, they dragged him out of that mansion.

Ace again demanded to be told where Sabo was, but he only received another blow to the face so hard that it almost knocked him out and knocked him to the ground. He spat blood as he heard the door close behind him. He wanted to return to fight that gorilla and face that family again, but something stopped him.

He remembered the words of Sabo's father. What if he was right? Maybe Sabo really was happy about leaving, but if he didn't want to escape or anything like that, why did he put Ace's hopes up like that? He couldn't believe it, but he didn't have the strength to fight either. His eyes filled with tears as he got up but he didn't cry. He just thought about what he could do. Sabo was no longer there to answer his questions, he had been taken to an unknown location and Ace had no idea how to search for him or if he wanted to be searched. Why had everything gone so wrong?

He returned home at a very slow pace and hardly paid attention to the road. He wasn't even thinking. He was still in shock. The person he loved the most had vanished from his life so quickly that he could barely understand it.

At his front door he met the person he least expected: Garp. He could feel his doubts seeing him so broken in more ways than one, but Ace ignored any questions. He never approached the old man or anyone in particular, they had a distant relationship, but at that moment he threw himself into the arms of the old man with the smell of the sea and rice crackers. He cried a lot. He let all the contained feelings melt into a cascade of pain in hopes of feeling better when that was over. Garp said nothing, just hugged him and stroked his hair saying that everything would be fine, and Ace wanted nothing else at that moment.


	10. Chapter 10

A week passed before they finally left. The days passed with a frightful monotony and slowness. Ace didn't leave his house and wasn't interested in doing so either. Garp didn't ask him anything, but he found out somehow. He heard Garp and Dadan accuse each other for who was to blame, always finishing their discussions without deciding who should take responsibility. He learned that they both found out that he had had a problem with Sabo and that Sabo left, but Ace wasn't sure if they were aware of his plans to run away. He didn't really care anymore.

Dadan didn't want Ace to leave and that surprised him. She feared for him. The world was a cruel place and the woman had told him many times, but she also knew that Ace would have no future or direction if he stayed there. Garp insisted that he could get him a place in the Police Force but, before he could refuse, he told him that he could also do whatever he wanted but not to forget that option.

How many people like him were there? Ace didn't know of any. He didn't believe that that place or any type of military force accepted boys like him, with a body that didn't _fit_. The old man didn't understand that and thought that with his power, having held a high office, he was able to do whatever he wanted. Maybe it was true that he could get him that place, but Ace didn't want to test it out.

At the time, He had no idea what to do.

Maybe that trip would be fun, he thought. He could see Rosinante and meet the son he adopted. He would even travel to a different country and see new places. All of that sounded exciting.

Then he remembered that he had to leave Dadan and It didn't seem so nice to him anymore.

Then he remembered that Sabo was gone and his heart was cracking in pain.

He tried calling him again, but his cell phone was no longer working. The day before, he found it broken on the ground. Could he have thrown it away without realizing it? It was possible, the last time he used it he wasn't very calm, although now he wasn't either.

Garp brought him a suitcase to pack his stuff and the whole moving business became more real than ever.

Sabo was gone. He vanished from his life as if he had never existed. Even in the house he lived in there was no one left. What else could he do? Google him? He didn't even feel like it.

He started to put his things inside the suitcase, because he had nothing better to do, and it didn't take too long because he didn't have much. He packed his clothes and some other crap. Should he bring the school items? No, he didn't want to think about it.

He looked between the notebooks where he was studying and decided to pack one that was still unused. He also found a book he was reading with Sabo. He had forgotten that he left it there. He opened it absentmindedly realizing that Sabo had left a paper as a bookmark, it was a chocolate wrapper that they had surely shared together. He squeezed it in his hands and bit his lip.

Again he felt his throat close threatening to knock him out of air and he struggled to breathe. He felt his chest burn and wondered if he was ever going to stop feeling that, but Ace suspected not.

He left the suitcase half-packed after putting the book inside. He wasn't going to leave it but he didn't feel able to finish reading it either. How could he do it? They were supposed to discover the end together. He assumed he would never know how it ends.

He wondered again if he really wasn't going to see Sabo again and the answer only enlarged those wounds in his body that burned him until drowning him in sadness. His pillow was stained with great halos of humidity because of all the nights in which he cried until falling asleep.

The day he left, Dadan hugged him. That woman was never very loving to him, but somehow Ace always knew how much she loved him. He clung to her, his adoptive mother, and assured her that he would see her again. He wasn't sure when, but he would return.

He had no idea how they would make that trip, but the old man assured him that it would take a little longer because they had to do some things in the city. Ace didn't ask and they just left.

They traveled about four hours by car, of which he spent three sleeping and he only woke up to eat at a gas station. The food tasted really bad, he barely finished that cold sandwich and he drank a lot of water to get it through.

Sometimes they talked, but most of the time they kept quiet. He had no desire to speak, nor anything to say.

He was surprised at how huge that city was when they entered. Lots of cars, people, and tall buildings. Ace looked at everything very surprised. He was overwhelmed by the noise, the lights, and the visual pollution that represented all the new things in front of him. He wanted to see more, but he was not as thrilled as he would have been.

They emerged from this city of varied stimuli and the buildings became houses. It reminded him a little of the town where he lived, but it all looked a lot more _packed_. There was almost no space between the houses, the streets were paved everywhere and every little detail seemed striking. Everything looked so _neat_ that Ace felt inside an already assembled puzzle and he wasn't sure if he liked that feeling.

Garp stopped in front of one of the houses. Ace's eyes widened in amazement as he saw the huge front garden and the house behind it. He got down with his bag and followed the old man still surprised because that's where they would stay.

"Do you really live here, old man?" Ace asked as they entered.

"Just recently," Garp answered, opening the door.

Wood floors greeted him. The light colors of the walls, few furniture and the smell of fresh paint overwhelmed them. It looked like a completely new place or so he imagined.

A person greeted them.

"You arrived early," Sengoku said, walking to them. "Long time no see, Ace. You grew up a lot."

He tried to smile, but he never liked being treated like a child.

The old men talked among themselves and showed him a room that he could occupy.

"And Rosinante?" Ace asked, carrying his suitcase into the room.

It was very large, much larger than his previous one. There was a bed, a built-in closet in the wall, and only a shelf. That place was very foreign to him and that made him feel a little uncomfortable.

"He's fine," Sengoku replied. "He lives with Law in Spain, I spoke to him last night and he said he really wants to see you."

That brought out a smile. Rosinante was very nice. He knew that Sengoku had had to return from Spain because of his work, but he would soon go back together with him and Garp. Both old men were retiring, but were still working in the police. Garp said that he should no longer travel as before because he would dedicate himself to training new recruits, he felt sorry for those men who will be under his supervision.

Garp appeared laughing and put a hand on Sengoku's shoulder.

"I imagine you're dying to see Doflamingo," he said, and the other old man's face twisted in disgust.

"Shut up, you asshole."

That only made the old man laugh more.

Doflamingo, Rosinante's brother, was apparently a strange man and Sengoku hated him. Ace didn't know why, but neither did he know him to give an opinion.

He would be traveling soon, that's what both old men told him. In a few days, but they had to finish some paperwork.

"Look what came." Garp handed him a brown envelope and Ace looked at him with a raised eyebrow, not understanding why he was giving him that. A gift maybe?

The envelope was open, so Ace didn't have to tear it open. He pulled documents from inside a plastic pocket folder and frowned reading.

_Birth certificate._

_Portgas D. Ace._

His skin stood on end as he read it. Birth certificate? Ace? What?

"This is..." he said, his voice a thread of surprise.

"Your new documents and passport," Garp explained. "Are you not satisfied?"

Ace covered his mouth with a hand trying to contain the emotion and denied. He had his mother's last name and it said Ace. Not Ann. Ace.

A sincere smile formed on his lips. Perhaps this was another way of protecting him, changing his name so that it had nothing to do with Gold Roger or, better said, Gol D. Roger. Very few knew the true name of his biological father, but that way it was safer and he preferred it. No one would know who he was. That was fine with him, but he never expected him to change his legal identity as well. That said he was a boy and his name was Ace, how he really felt.

He thought of all the times he had trouble having another name on his documents. A great inconvenience that sparked teasing, fighting, and more heartbreak than he would admit.

Now he had something that said he was a boy and he didn't know how to feel. Happy, no doubt, and very confused too.

"Thank you," he said honestly, and let the old man pat his head. In that moment, he needed that comforting touch.

He wondered if that would solve anything, having his name on those papers. Would others now take it that way? Not everyone. People like Sabo's parents would still treat him like a weirdo. Would Sabo be happy for him? He wanted to believe he would.

Just a couple of days later they traveled. The experience of getting on a plane didn't attract his attention nor did it scare him or something like that. It was too long a journey and the food they gave him made him gag. He didn't have an appetite for quite some time but he completely ignored it.

The worst was when they arrived and they had to get onto another plane. How far did Rosinante live? Ace already felt exhausted even though he had slept all the travel hours.

The old men had booked a house where they would stay. It was a small apartment near downtown. Ace's room had a window facing the sea and he felt amazing. He stared at that view for a long time and wanted to go in there. He had only swum in a river, but he wasn't very comfortable thinking that perhaps there would be more people on the beach.

Should he take off his clothes? He definitely didn't want to.

Rosi went to see him and hugged him so tight that Ace felt himself losing his breath. Was he always this tall and huge? He barely remembered and that showed him that they had not seen each other for a long time.

"Glad you came, Ace," Rosinante commented after releasing him.

"I didn't have much choice," he muttered, glancing at Garp. "Glad to see you too, Rosi."

He immediately noticed the boy who was hiding behind. The little one looked scared and wanting to hide under his white hat with black spots. He must be Law, Rosinante's son, and he confirmed it when Rosi introduced them.

"Hello, Law," he said, bowing to the boy. "I'm Ace."

The suspicious look he gave him was a familiar one and didn't bother him.

"Hello..." he mentioned in a shy way and Ace smiled at him, but Law only hid behind Rosi.

He couldn't blame him. He was very young and went through too many traumatic situations, such as losing his family and people close to him passing away. Ace also lost his parents and recently the person he loved. He didn't think theirs was worse than or equal to Law's, but they both felt bad in different ways —and, if he was honest, Law's situation was more tragic, way too dark for someone so young—. He understood that child a little and thought he was very lucky to have someone good like Rosinante who wanted to take care of him.

They went to eat and Ace wasn't hungry. It had been hours since he had eaten anything but water, so he should eat, but he didn't feel like it. They gave him a spanish tortilla and the smell stirred the nothing in his stomach. Why didn't he like it? It was potato and eggs, how could he not like it! The food had no problem and it was sure delicious, but at that moment he didn't feel able to try it.

He tried to get through half of his plate, but was unable to continue. Sneakily, he got up quickly to go to the bathroom. He took a deep breath and wet his face with water trying to control the lump in his throat. He looked in the mirror and noticed the dark marks under his eyes. He looked horrible, but it wasn't something he was interested in changing right now.

When he returned, Rosinante was discussing something apparently serious with the old men while Law ate next to him.

"You can't stay here, Rosi," Sengoku said firmly.

"It's not that easy," he replied. "I have to think about where to live with Law and what I will do with my brother."

"Law is your son, you don't have to take care of Doflamingo too."

"Why don't you come back with us?" Garp interjected. "That house is huge, you can live there with Law."

Rosinante seemed to think about it. He had no idea what the problem was exactly, but he didn't ask either. Ace moved the food from side to side on his plate until Garp put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you think so, Ace?"

Eh? What were they talking about? Ace had gotten a little lost in the conversation, but he nodded anyway.

"Yeah, it would be great," he commented just to say something.

"You must finish school," Garp reminded him.

"I don't want to go to school," he said with a grimace of disgust.

"And what about online school?" Rosinante said. "Many boys decide to study like that now."

"That's bullshit."

"He can decide whatever he wants, Garp."

There was no way he was going to get into that discussion.

He was bored and tired of being there. He looked at the plate of food in front of him and pushed it away because he could no longer cope with the nausea that afflicted him. He took a deep breath and looked at Law near him.

That boy looked very calm, concentrating on a picture book he was painting. Ace had seen those, mandala notebooks that people used to paint and relax. Law even had many colors with which he was filling in the blanks. He was a little drawn to see him paint so neatly for a boy of nearly four. He walked over to look at the drawing and the color scheme he used.

"Do you want to?" Law handed him one of his colors and Ace smiled.

Law gave him a page to paint one of the drawings while he did another. It was more relaxing than he had expected. The discomfort stopped a bit as he concentrated on something else and was grateful that the boy was there to distract him a bit from the elders' fights and Rosinante trying to stop them.

"Can I use the orange?" Ace asked, and Law nodded, giving it to him, also saying he could take any other he wanted. "What's your favorite color?"

"Mmm... I like yellow."

"It's a good color." He started coloring his mandala, not caring how to match the colors, but tried not to overstep the lines like Law. "Do you like to paint?"

"A little," he replied. "They told me I should do it because it's good for me."

Ace didn't understand why he said that, but later he learned that Law had many nightmares and that these small activities were to distract him a little. He was a very young boy with too much to carry on his back.

If they had to live together from now on, Ace wouldn't mind.

**.**

**.**

**.**

A few days after they arrived, Rosi invited them to celebrate Law's birthday. Sengoku wasn't very happy with that idea, because the party would be at the house of Rosi's older brother, Donquixote Doflamingo. He didn't dress formally. He only put on a T-shirt and shorts because it was still quite hot, although summer was soon to end.

When they arrived, he almost choked on seeing the giant mansion where the party would be. Did that guy really live there? Who was he supposed to be?

Later Garp and the others explained that Doflamingo was a famous businessman, owner of one of the most important clothing brands in the industry, and other things that Ace didn't feel like hearing. He was a guy with money, plus weird or so he thought when he saw him.

"Ah, Sengoku," Doflamingo haughtily greeted, and Ace noticed a vein on the other man's face. "I haven't seen you for a long time, I thought that the retreat had already consumed you."

"Don't underestimate me, brat," he said annoyed. "Where are Rosi and Law?"

"Outside where we're entertaining our child."

Ace found it a little strange that he referred to Law as "his boy," but he didn't plan to question the man in the pink Cruella De Vil coat.

"So you are Garp's child," Doflamingo mentioned, approaching and Ace wanted to be invisible at the time. That weird guy made him uncomfortable. "Wait, how do you younglings say these days? Bro? Brohanski? Yeah that."

He didn't understand anything of what he said and wanted to get away from that guy. Luckily, Rosi appeared to get him out of there.

"Stop teasing him, Doffy," he said to his brother.

"I wasn't teasing him, Rosi," he defended himself. "I will tell Giolla to include him in one of our all inclusive presentations. We'll have a lot of _peeps_ watching."

"You better go with Trebol who said he needs you."

At least that was enough for the man to get away from him and Ace breathed relieved, thanking Rosinante for his help. It didn't last long because that party was full of people just as extravagant. He didn't even learn the name of any of them and he silently hated all those who came to speak to him. There were even children who had no idea where they came from.

The size of that mansion was enormous. It even had a huge garden and pool. The day was beautiful, and they had set up the party in the back of the house. A bouncy castle was set up for the little ones, although some drunken adults —Garp included— got in anyway.

There was also too much food. A great table with snacks, hamburgers, sausages, and everything. Is that how childhood birthdays were supposed to be? Maybe it was for the kids with money, but Law didn't seem that way. He reminded him of Sabo, who also didn't seem like someone from that social class, but instead was something that tormented him.

Ace tried to eat something. He chewed on fries and a hamburger like he always would, but he didn't like it. His body was no longer accepting junk food perhaps. His stomach ached when he thought about eating more and he went inside without anyone noticing. He walked to the bathroom, which took him a long time to enter, that house had too many doors.

He sat on the toilet and grabbed his head, pulling his hair back. He was dizzy and tried to breathe deeply to control that overwhelming feeling, but it was impossible. He had to kneel in front of the toilet and vomit everything he had eaten. He was very disgusted to see the pieces of food undigested and barely chewed. He vomited more because of that.

He stayed there longer than he would have liked and covered his face feeling anguished. He didn't want to be there. In that place, with those strange people who spoke weird with that mocking tone that only bothered him more. He wanted to escape from there, go far away and be left alone.

He was fed up and he felt terrible. He didn't belong in that place, anywhere really. The loneliness that washed over him sitting in that cold bath consumed him to the bone.

At times like this, when he felt like he could choke to death on his own tears and spit, he tried to think of other things so that the rapid beating of his heart wouldn't overwhelm him. He almost always fantasized about how his life would have been if he managed to run away with Sabo, the things they would be doing, how he would survive, the places they could have visited and the infinity of kisses they could have shared.

His skin ached thinking that would never happen. He remembered the last time they kissed goodbye after Sabo left home, but he didn't think it would be the last. Maybe he should've kissed him more.

He hugged himself and dug his nails into his skin, thinking that not even physical pain could be equated with that huge emptiness in his chest. Every day he felt like it would kill him. He put all of himself to getting better, to forget it, but he always had those little moments where, in solitude, he relived the suffering. He couldn't help it. At night it was when he had the worst time and in the day he tried to pretend, momentarily forget what happened. It was a beautiful illusion that he clung to but ended up breaking and causing more injuries.

After cleaning and washing his face, he left the bathroom because he couldn't stay there forever, lamenting how miserable he was.

Ace hated himself at the time and couldn't stand himself either. His body was a problem, but lately more so because he couldn't even eat in peace.

He didn't go back to the garden where the party was taking place. He preferred to stay inside the house where he was alone. He collapsed in the living room where there were some very comfortable white armchairs and sighed thinking that he might nap for a while.

A few minutes passed where he didn't know if he fell asleep, but he woke up when he felt footsteps. Someone was running towards him. He saw Law very agitated approaching and that scared him.

"What happened?" He asked, concerned about the boy's panicked face.

Law didn't answer, just made a silent gesture and hid behind the chair where Ace was sitting. He didn't understand why he did that, but got distracted when he heard more people approach and saw the other children at the party. He remembered that they had been introduced to him when he arrived. Baby 5 and Buffalo were grandchildren of old Lao G, they had way too weird nicknames.

"Hello!" Said the girl. She shouldn't be more than 6 years old, just like the other boy. "We're looking for Law, have you seen him? Giolla said we would dress up and he ran away."

He raised an eyebrow at this. He couldn't imagine the shy little boy participating in something like that, he understood why he ran away.

"No, I haven't seen him," Ace denied. "He must be with Rosinante."

"It's true," Buffalo snapped. "Let's go to Cora-san."

He didn't quite understand that nickname either, but it sounded cute. Ace found it very cute when Law called him Cora-san, but it gave him a little bad feeling when he heard Doflamingo call him Corazón with his villain voice.

Baby 5 and Buffalo walked away and he thought it had been enough, but she came back instantly.

"Um..." She hesitated in front of Ace and he cocked his head at her. "You are cute... Bye!"

The blushing little girl ran out and he barely understood what had happened. Did she say he was cute? He couldn't help but smile, thinking it was the second person telling him, even though it was only a 6-year-old girl.

"Did they leave?" Law whispered and Ace told him he could get out. "They are very annoying..."

He laughed when he heard him. He didn't know him very well, but Law didn't seem comfortable in that place either. It was strange because he was supposed to live there and all those people seemed familiar with the place because they worked closely for Doflamingo. However, the boy was still hiding in that corner next to him.

He had to remember that Law experienced a tragedy very recently, so perhaps he wasn't ready for so much exposure or maybe it was part of his personality.

"They seem like it," Ace commented sincerely without thinking about what he was saying and Law nodded.

"Cora-san asked me if I wanted a party, but ..." Law's nonconforming grin caught his eye and he looked at him with his head on one side. "I don't even like bread!"

He raised an eyebrow at this and laughed. The party food had plenty of bread. Perhaps Doflamingo hadn't asked anyone and only ordered a service or asked someone to do it. It wasn't fair. That party was supposed to be for Law and he didn't seem happy with it.

"At least they gave you good things, right?"

"Yes," Law snapped. "Wanna see?"

Ace nodded and followed the boy. Neither of them wanted to go out for the moment, nor did they think it was wrong to be away for a while. He yawned remembering that he was very sleepy, but he could postpone his nap for a while for the birthday boy.

They climbed the stairs to a room too neat to belong to a young child. It was large, with white walls, light colored furniture with books and toys. He smiled at the light green duvet with little pictures of cats. Everything looked nice, even the pillows and the carpet matched everything in the room.

He sat on the bed and Law brought him various things to show him.

"They gave me this," said the boy, and Ace looked confused at the device.

It looked like a cell phone, but it wasn't. It was a very small game console. Nintendo, Law told him. Ace knew those existed, but had never seen one.

Wasn't it too much for a four year old? He didn't believe that Doflamingo would pay attention to that or costs.

"And Cora-san bought this." Law showed him a box set with very beautiful and vivid colors. He seemed more excited about that than the console. "He said we would read them together."

Harry Potter. Ace smiled at all the books. The edition was beautiful and illustrated. He had read the first book and watched the movies with Sabo, although they couldn't continue the reading. However, he suspected that Law liked the idea of sharing something with Rosinante more than the book itself.

"You'll like it very much," he said, looking inside the books. "Do you usually read together?"

Law nodded and showed him the books he had, the ones _Cora-san_ had read to him. He seemed very happy showing them while explaining what each one was about, although it was obvious that he recognized them from the pictures on the covers. Could it be that he knew how to read? No, he was too young, although there would be no reason to judge him for that.

He wasn't sure how much time he spent there, but Ace was very entertained as the boy taught him how to play Pokemon on his tiny console. It was great, he wanted one of those.

The door opened slowly and Rosinante appeared on the other side.

"What are you two doing here?" He asked with a smile as he approached. "You have to go blow out the candles, Law, and there's the piñata, too."

He was a little surprised at how unhappy the boy seemed when they told him that.

"I don't want to..." Law complained pouting and Ace laughed.

"It will only take a minute," he said to the boy, touching his head. "Besides, it's just sweets. No bread"

Law didn't seem very convinced, but he nodded. Rosinante smiled as he looked at them. Law wasn't a child who easily trusted others, but apparently he had liked Ace. He reached out to lift his son.

"You seem to get along well."

Ace just shrugged, unsure what to say, but he didn't deny it either.

"He taught me how to play Pokemon," he replied, and Rosi laughed again.

"I still don't get it."

Thinking of Rosinante hunting Pokemon was fun. They left the room to head back to the patio with the other people.

"Maybe we will move in with you."

When he heard those words, Ace remembered that detail and the times he heard the old men talking about Rosi and Law moving in with them. The idea even seemed nice to him, at least he wouldn't have to be alone with those two dinosaurs.

"That would be fine," Ace replied.

"There are still things to solve," Rosinante said regretfully and looked at the boy in his arms. "What do you think, Law? Would you like to live with the grandparents and Ace?"

There were no words from the boy, but Ace did see him nod and that brought out a smile on him.

He also wondered why Rosinante wasn't going to live alone with his son, he had the money to do so. However, he also understood that Law was a small child and very sensitive to all the turbulent situations he experienced. So he assumed Rosi didn't want to leave him alone, in a daycare, or with people the child didn't trust. He had to work, he couldn't always be with Law.

The situation was complex, but Ace wouldn't mind being with that boy or Rosinante. It would be good news. Also, Rosi was new to being a father and probably didn't want to be alone at that stage. However, his brother didn't seem to be a person who gave much emotional containment or at least that's the feeling he got out of him.


	11. Chapter 11

Traveling again tired him more than he imagined. The first time he got on the plane it was an uncomfortable moment, but when they returned he suffered much more. Those couple of weeks in Spain weren't really bad. The warmth of the place was very pleasant and he even walked the beach more than once.

Garp had bought him another cell phone and it was much more modern than the one he used before. It had no buttons, just a touchscreen, and Ace was quite amused using it. He could even browse the internet on it, how amazing. His previous phone was very old and broken, but it was used to send messages to Sabo. Now, that boy's number was no longer among his contacts and that caused him more melancholy than he could handle.

He quickly lost enthusiasm for that cell phone, though nothing really excited him too much. He liked being able to listen to music. He wasted many hours doing that and sleeping. He slept a lot and Ace thought it was because he had given up his narcolepsy medicine. One day he forgot to take it and then he lost the habit. Garp told him that he should go to the doctor for a new prescription, but he didn't care much. Ace was already used to it and could tell when he was going to have an episode, almost always actually.

Rosinante and Law finally moved in with them. From what he heard, Doflamingo didn't like the news, but still they all went back together.

The house was big enough for everyone to live in there and Ace had his own room. Although it was necessary to remodel a lot, buy furniture, paint and other things in which he hardly participated. It seemed that the old men had bought this house very recently and there were some things that were still under construction.

Summer disappeared and in November the leaves fell staining the ground yellow and orange. It was cold, a lot, and Ace didn't like it. He took refuge in blankets and warm clothing that he had just acquired. He never suffered much from the cold, but that fall was not treating him well. He had even caught a cold. He never got sick, but he had been tired for days, with a runny nose and the damn nausea that wouldn't leave him alone.

That day he got up at two in the afternoon and could have slept more. Still, he tried to get up so he didn't feel like a sluggard that slept all day.

That week, Sengoku and Garp had gone on a trip the day before, so only Rosinante and Law were staying at the house. He found them in the kitchen trying to make pancakes and Ace frowned at the disaster. The burning smell made him feel sicker. Rosi tried but was not a good cook.

"Ace!" He cheered at the sight of him. "How good you woke up! Want to try some?"

He looked somewhat suspiciously at the stack of pancakes that Rosi pointed out to him. Some looked burned while others looked much better.

The kitchen had a large island in the middle with six chairs, and Law was in one of them. The boy was covered in flour and looked funny. Ace sat next to him.

"Were you bored?" He asked as he cut a piece of the pancakes and tasted it. It wasn't bad as he expected, but it lacked a sweeter taste.

"Cora-san wanted to do like the video," Law said, explaining that they had tried to recreate one of those Tasty videos. It could have been worse.

He saw a jar of Nutella on the table and licked his lips. That damn paste was really tasty and when he spread it on the pancakes the flavor improved a lot. Lately he didn't eat too much because his stomach couldn't bear anything. He ate very little and very slowly because he was afraid to throw up. Sometimes he drank tea, ate yogurt, and bread that Law despised. Enough to survive, but that didn't feed him and he knew it. It was difficult because he was used to consuming large amounts of food without being affected in the least, but he believed it was a passing thing.

He chewed on some of those pancakes and even licked the spoon until his throat closed after a couple of bites. He took a deep breath and put the food aside.

"Ace?" Rosinante's voice broke into his thoughts. "Are you okay? You didn't like them?

"It's not that," he answered quickly because they weren't bad and he did like them, but he felt he couldn't eat. "I'm just... I'm not hungry."

The man didn't seem convinced. He was cleaning up the mess left in the kitchen and stopped to see Ace with that analytical look that made him uncomfortable.

"Do you prefer something else? There's left over food from lunch, I can heat it up for you."

"I'm alright, Rosi," he interrupted with a smile. "I will eat later."

That was a huge lie, but Ace wouldn't tell. He took a napkin to blow his nose while Rosinante kept cleaning.

"You're eating almost nothing," he said, making Ace a bit uncomfortable. "You still aren't getting better. Maybe we could go to the doctor."

"No need, it's just the flu."

Ace didn't really know if it was the flu or not. Because he had no fever or a sore throat. He just slept a lot and his stomach didn't hold food. A rare cold? Yeah, for sure.

He thought about helping Rosi clean and got out of the chair to go to him, but as soon as his feet touched the ground he felt dizzy. He held his spinning head and his other hand held on to the counter to keep him from falling. He dropped the chair without noticing and felt that he too was losing his balance, but Rosinante grabbed him before falling down.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to give up on his medicine, although this didn't feel like one of his narcolepsy episodes. At no time did he lose consciousness, but he was on the verge. Rosi helped him sit on the couch until his dizziness went away and he was able to breathe easier.

"Better?" He asked, handing him a glass of water, and Ace nodded, accepting it.

"I think my narcolepsy is getting worse."

He wasn't a doctor to diagnose himself, but he supposed that was the reason for his tiredness and the strange way he was sleeping. Did narcolepsy also give you nausea? Maybe.

"Ace," he mentioned his name in an authoritative tone, and he could sense that he was about to be scolded. "You have to go to the doctor, you can't be falling all over the place."

"It's not that bad..."

Since they moved in together, Rosinante was surprised when Ace suddenly fell asleep without warning even during the meals. It was difficult to live with other people. Before Ace was always alone and nobody bothered him, now he had to endure all those people messing with him all the time.

"Enough, Rosi. I'm not planning to go, so stop insisting."

He pulled away to return to his room and shut himself up again.

Why should they make him do something he didn't want to do? He should have run away so he didn't have to deal with these things.

He didn't even bother opening the curtains to let in the sunlight. He didn't want to feel it on his skin. At that time, it even hurt to have to look outside to face the cold wind that swept the streets. He didn't mind feeling like a vampire seeking the warmth of his bed. He sank back into the blankets again and fell asleep effortlessly again.

When he woke up it was already night and he had no idea what time it was. His head hurt a lot and every part of his body was resenting him. Moving was an ordeal and he even thought about going back to sleep. Ace had forgotten what it was like to feel full of energy.

He went through the bathroom to pee while yawning for the thousandth time. He looked in the mirror and noted that he looked like some kind of specter. The dark circles had already turned into black sockets under his eyes, his hair was long and full of knots, but what impressed him the most were his skinny arms. Had he always been like this? He didn't remember either.

He tried to stretch and thought about taking a shower.

Something that also hurt was his chest. It wasn't a detail he paid too much attention to, but sometimes when he brushed against it inadvertently, he remembered it. His hands traveled to his chest and he squeezed it. A grimace of displeasure formed on his face as he felt it. To think that part of his body was growing upset him. Sometimes it hurt when the stupid period came, maybe that was why, but it wasn't something he thought about often. It annoyed him to remember that detail from his biology.

Hot water would help him think better or so he believed.

He even went to the kitchen to eat. Corazón was not around, he heard him speak on the phone when he passed the rooms, and Law didn't appear either.

He made a sandwich with what he found. He didn't feel like eating anything hot. It was good, so much so that he thought to eat another one and he did it.

The night felt long and interrupted. Narcolepsy always caused him strange dreams and, lately, nightmares. More than once he woke up scared and sweating cold. That night was no exception, he woke up agitated and his skin prickled when he felt a horrible sensation go up his throat when he got up abruptly.

He covered his mouth with his hand very tightly, but that was not enough to calm him down. The speed with which he ran to the bathroom was overwhelming, almost like a rush. He felt tears streaming down his eyes from the effort and tried to hold back his cough so as not to wake anyone while trying not to choke.

Same thing again.

He shivered there on his knees on the floor as his hands gripped the edge of the toilet and he clenched his teeth feeling confused, scared, and very uncertain.

This kind of thing didn't happen to him before. Could it be that he was sick? He was afraid to think about it. He had never been ill and could count the number of times he caught a cold with one hand, although on those occasions the discomforts didn't go beyond a little snot and cough. Now he couldn't understand what was going on.

He didn't want to tell anyone because he was terrified of thinking of going to a doctor. Also, before Garp left, he had told him that he had to go to one to get new medication and they should solve the schooling issue.

He sat in a corner of the floor holding his damned stomach and took a deep breath.

If he had run away, would that have made him better? What would have happened? Was there still time to leave and choose another way? Ace doubted he could even plan it with how bad he felt. Now he was alone. His situation was very different from when he was with Sabo. The security that seized him at that moment was only a sad memory.

He remembered the nights they spent talking and drawing lines on printed maps in the town cyber cafe. All those papers ended up in the trash as well as his desire to think about seeking his own freedom.

He scratched at the white seat when he felt gagging again and knew instantly that this would be another one of the nights where he lay awake with an upset stomach, his broken feelings and his face wet with tears.

**.**

**.**

**.**

For a long time, Rosinante had a habit of waking up early. That way he could make the most to get used to that new house where he has been living for a short time. Perhaps, in the years he traveled because of his work, he should have worried about having a place of his own but that never interested him. He also didn't imagine having children, but the arrival of Law in his life took him by surprise.

The truth is that he hadn't been able to leave that little boy alone. He too had lost his parents many years ago and Sengoku adopted him, why wouldn't he do the same to that boy he became attached to?

It hadn't been a problem. Law was a good boy, but he would like to know how to make him happier. He was aware that time would help him recover from what he lived. He had to help him have a better life and gain good experiences that became more meaningful than the bad memories.

He made breakfast that day and burned one of the rags making toast. When he told Doflamingo that he was going to adopt a boy, his brother reminded him of his natural clumsiness and asked him if he was sure. Rosinante had never been so sure of anything in his life.

One thing he found out from living together is that Law also woke up early and had a hard time falling asleep. Several nights, Rosinante accompanied him until he fell asleep and left a light on so that he would not be scared if he woke up alone in the middle of the night.

Law appeared in the kitchen and tugged on his pajama bottoms. He said good morning to the boy stroking his black hair and told him to go sit down, that he would give him his breakfast right away, but Law ignored him and pulled his clothes again to get his attention.

"Cora-san," he said. "He fell asleep in the bathroom."

At first, he didn't fully understand what his son was saying, but preferred to follow him. They entered Ace's room and went to his private bathroom. Rosinante freaked out and was also confused when he saw Ace curled up against the toilet with his arms over the rim of the seat as a pillow for his head.

Corazón had had a complicated life —especially because of his brother— and therefore witnessed many shady things, more than he would like to flaunt. So now several strong scenes flashed through his head, but he tried to stay calm.

Carefully he approached the boy to wake him up and he seemed upset as if he had just had a nightmare.

"Ace, take it easy," he said in a sweet voice. "This is a very uncomfortable place for you to be."

"Rosi, I..." Ace held his head numb from sleep. "I think I fell asleep..."

No need to tell him. He had already realized that something bad was happening to that boy.

Ever since he met him, Ace always caught his attention. Above all, the security he had when affirming his identity when he was so young and with many experiences to live. He was strong and Corazón admired him because of that. However, now he could perceive and notice that he was not well. Garp told him that he had had a problem before going with him, some kind of love disappointment and understood that it had destroyed him.

Rosinante had been there and he also had been a heartbroken teenager. Sometimes he was even an adult who experienced his dreams breaking into pieces. Still, he couldn't let Ace, being so young, destroy himself.

He helped him to his bed and Law looked at them attentively from the door. Perhaps he was afraid and kept expectant. He was a good boy and had started to like Ace, which seemed incredible and adorable, and now he was interested in what was happening.

He leaned in front of that boy and tried to smile at him calmly.

"Ace," he said in a soft voice so as not to disturb him. "Do you feel better?"

He nodded. He didn't hear him say anything. He saw he was thoughtful and quiet, Rosinante should take this opportunity to speak to him and try to reach him. He knew he was no one to tell Ace what to do, but there he was and they both lived together, he had to try.

"You can't go on like this," Corazón spoke bluntly. "I know you feel bad and sad, but you shouldn't get stuck with that and think that it will just go away. Sometimes... We are not able to deal with our own emotions and it's okay, don't feel guilty. Perhaps we could seek help, a doctor, therapy, or both; but you can't go on like this"

He saw him bite his trembling lips and lower his head. He was not combative as usual and that filled him with hope.

"No... I'm not crazy," said Ace, "but... I don't know, I don't want to go."

"I promise I'll be with you all the time," he said with complete sincerity. "If something goes wrong or you don't like it, we will leave, but it needs to be done."

Ace seemed to think about it and took a long time to do it.

When he accepted, Rosinante was very proud and even hugged him. That boy had him very worried, but at least he had managed to convince him to go to a doctor. Perhaps it would be good to do a checkup and consult with therapy. He thought about telling Garp and Sengoku, but he didn't want to worry them about something they couldn't participate in at the moment. If things got out of control he would talk to them. Ace was the most important at that moment.

**.**

**.**

**.**

On that particular day, he felt very bad, but perhaps it was because he had his appointment with the doctor from which he couldn't escape. Waiting was martyrdom and he began to think that all this was unnecessary. What was wrong with feeling a little bad? It happened to everyone. Also, whether or not he wanted to eat was his decision. Not that he had made the decision to despise food, it was just that it made him sick or had no appetite. It was a passing thing, he would soon recover, although at the same time he remembered the nights he had slept in the bathroom from vomiting so much and he no longer felt so sure. Rosinante wouldn't let him go anyway.

It was Monday and there were many people everywhere. The smell of disinfectant penetrated his nose causing him infinite disgust. Ace wasn't sure he could survive that query.

The only one who seemed very curious was Law who astonishedly watched the whole movement of that place, at least someone was enjoying that "walk". They were supposed to speak to a clinical doctor first to explain the problems he had had and then they would see what else to do. It was the first exhausting step.

They entered the office and he felt the nausea in his throat when he had to speak to the doctor to explain what was happening to him, but he swallowed them because it was not the best place to vomit. He explained -—in a summarized and too surface way— what was happening and he felt that Corazón, sitting with Law on his legs, was looking at him in discontent. Some dizziness, very tired, he slept too much and ate little.

"You've also vomited," he said, and Law turned to his dad, who looked serious. "And you fade away."

"That's because of narcolepsy," Ace said, and the doctor wrote.

This man was an older person and took his time to listen carefully to all the symptoms or situations that they were describing to him. What did he say his name was? Crocus, or so Ace understood. He also found it funny that under his white doctor's gown he had a flowery shirt, he seemed ready to go to the beach instead of attending a consultation.

He had to explain about his narcolepsy, how long he had it and the medication he was taking. He was sure he would end up giving him another and hoped his problems would be solved with that.

"And..." Rosinante looked at Ace wondering if he could say any other _little details_.

He pursed his lips feeling annoyed. Maybe he should stick a poster on his face that specified what was between his legs, because apparently it was very important to the rest of the world. He said nothing while Rosi explained to the doctor and he didn't even flinch.

"Do you do any hormonal treatment?" Crocus asked and Ace denied saying that he was not taking any type of medication, he didn't understand very well what he meant with that treatment thing, but he didn't ask. "There can be various causes: Anemia, some hormonal disorder or even something else, but you have to do some tests."

He wrote orders for the blood and urine tests to be done. The doctor told him to go do them now so they could give them to him in a few days and he could return. At least that part was already resolved. It wasn't as terrible as Ace thought or at least that's what Ace felt.

The needles weren't scary, but it was a little awkward. The analyzes were quite fast and Rosinante suggested that they eat something. One thing Ace couldn't understand from Law was why he despised bread so much, was it because of the texture, the taste, the concept? Nor did he plan to ask, that was the last thing in his mind.

Ace's stomach was closed and he took a deep breath as he saw the plate of rice with vegetables and pieces of meat in front of him. Rosi suggested that he should eat that, which seemed nutritious, but Ace wasn't sure. He had to eat something, he knew, his lack of energy was also due to his poor diet. He didn't want to disappoint Rosinante, however. That man was overly caring for him and Ace didn't want to be ungrateful. Also, perhaps eating could show him that he was exaggerating and nothing was happening to him.

He picked up the fork and filled it with several of the things on his plate, but stopped when the smell hit him. It had onion, a lot, and it showed. He had to breathe through his mouth to ignore the feeling that rose to his throat. Why? He had always liked onion, he didn't have a problem with strong flavors, he didn't even mind eating it raw, but right now he felt even the nape of his neck starting to sweat while holding food.

The restaurant was crowded and a few blocks from the clinic. The table where they were sitting was small, but Ace began to feel that it was huge. He took a deep breath as he tried to distract himself by watching Corazón help Law eat, but the boy was very orderly and wanted to show his dad how he could do it on his own. Ace smiled thinking it was very cute and they both made a very nice picture. Rosi was a good dad. At least he thought until he cut himself trying to chop up the boy's fish, but the man always had band-aids or first aid supplies on hand.

He bit a bit of the rice and some of the little things on his plate, but it all tasted too intense and he was afraid his stomach would betray him. He stopped several times because he was afraid to vomit on the table. Before that plate wouldn't have lasted him even ten minutes and he would already be asking for another, but now almost forty minutes had passed and he had not eaten half of it. He couldn't restrain himself from gagging when he chewed on a piece of meat that had fat and a chewy texture that made him sick. He leaned down as he covered his mouth with his entire hand and took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Ace, are you okay?" Corazón asked, putting a hand on his back.

Ace just shook his mouth and spat the food out of his mouth into his hand, concealing it so Rosi wouldn't notice.

"I bit myself," he lied and tried to smile to show that he seriously was okay, but he knew he didn't convince that man, even though he didn't say anything to him.

He tried to continue acting normally although a dangerous knot formed in his throat that prevented him from continuing eating. Ace grabbed a paper napkin to wipe himself and hide that food he couldn't finish swallowing.

Maybe something was wrong with him and that thought made him nervous. Maybe they would give him a medication that would make him feel better soon. That would be nice.

There was no dessert, but they did go for a walk to a nearby park to get some air and return home.

The days passed quickly and he didn't feel better. His body was tense when they returned to the clinic. Law took his hand while they went to look for the tests and that helped him stay stable. Going back to that office lowered his blood pressure. Even so, he remained optimistic thinking that perhaps they would get out soon, but he was wrong. Why was that doctor taking so long to tell him what was going on? He worried a little about that.

"Do you remember when your last period was?" Crocus asked, and Ace cocked his head in confusion. "Your last menstrual period."

His face instantly turned red and he felt very uncomfortable at that question. What did it have to do with it? That was what he least thought about. He tried to remember about it. The blood, the towels, the tampons, the pain... he hated all that. He couldn't remember the last time he experienced it. He felt that time had passed already.

"Why?" He snapped defensively. "I don't know... I don't remember."

The doctor nodded as he looked at the studies again.

"Are you sexually active?" He asked suddenly.

Ace almost choked on his own saliva. What were all those questions? He didn't want to answer, less in front of Rosinante. He got smaller and smaller in that seat and his embarrassed silence seemed to be enough of an answer.

"Your analysis includes a hormone that is only present during pregnancy, plus the lack of menstruation proves it," Crocus explained, and the atmosphere turned cold, icy, but he kept talking. "Even so, you will have to consult your gynecologist to do an ultrasound, I can recommend you a professional if you don't have one."

The doctor kept writing down things and commenting on others, but Ace heard absolutely nothing of what he said.

Only a moment passed, which seemed eternal, where he was unable to react. What had he just said to him? Pregnancy? Him? What?

It had to be a lie.

He felt that in that instant he could scream, pass out, vomit; all together. Anything.

He waited for the doctor to tell him it was a lie or that he had misunderstood, but that moment never came.


	12. Chapter 12

The impression that ran through his body made him shudder. He looked at Ace next to him and that boy seemed gone, as if he hadn't quite understood what the doctor said. Rosinante found it hard to believe and needed confirmation. That doctor reiterated what Ace had and still found it incredible. At that time, he had to remember that this boy had a different body and developed enough to conceive a baby if he didn't have the proper care. He became very used to Ace being a boy, so much so that he forgot that little detail.

Crocus gave him the orders, the analyzes, and also wrote the recommended professionals. Rosinante felt the man look at him with some reproach for the situation and could understand it. Ace was too young and perhaps he had lacked attention, education, to not be going through this. There were so many things they could have done better, but they were already in this situation and could do nothing but face it. He took all the recommendations and couldn't say goodbye properly because Ace got up to leave this place quickly. Doing as he could, Rosi took Law to go after him.

He found him in the nearby parking lot throwing up on the edge of the sidewalk. The nerves and nausea that he already felt attacked him suddenly causing him to throw up what little he had managed to eat.

Ace clutched his head in frustration and denied again and again thinking it couldn't be happening. It was a lie, it must be a mistake. He couldn't have a baby, because women have those and he was not a woman.

He coughed trying to control his retching and felt Rosi's hand on his back and he whispered in a calm way to calm him down. He was so shocked, so out of his mind, that he was unable to say anything. Rosi helped him up and felt Law's small hand hold his and together they guided him to their car to leave. He felt like garbage in that instant because even the 4-year-old boy seemed concerned about him.

Rosinante was too good to him. He said nothing, nor did he look at him with any kind of annoyance. He just left him on the seat and fastened his belt. Ace didn't even notice when the car started because he leaned his head against the glass and closed his eyes, passing out. The tiredness of days sleeping poorly attacked him suddenly, causing him to collapse. Surely when he woke up he would discover that he had only been dreaming.

As soon as they returned, Rosi woke him up and let Ace go to his room, because none of them was ready to talk about it. Was it good to leave him alone? He didn't know.

Law stayed close to him and he tried to smile at the boy, even though he knew that everything was wrong.

What should he do now? What would he say to Garp and Sengoku? He thought about calling them, but backed down. It was best to know exactly Ace's condition first. The two old men would ask him questions and Rosi at that time had no more information than what the doctor had said.

The serious man with that wise appearance told him that he should take care of Ace, accompany him to consultations and follow the procedures, in addition to seeing the professionals who would give him the options for his case. Rosinante knew he was telling him because Ace was only fourteen, a boy, and he needed someone to help him deal with it.

He thought a lot about all the things that could've been done before so that it didn't end like this, but the reality was that now it had no use. He was very concerned with how this situation affected Ace. He couldn't hide it for long, a decision had to be made, but how could he make him understand that? He was barely a child, he couldn't expect him to make decisions as an adult. It was very frustrating, but he would be with him, he wasn't going to let him suffer alone.

The morning passed very quickly and noon came. He made lunch and gave it to Law. He was with his son for a while, but his head was still stirred and shaken by the whole situation. When they finished, he arrayed a tray and went to Ace's room.

Maybe he should give him more space until he was ready, but they couldn't wait. They had to know what to do, but for that he had to speak to him first.

He knocked on the door, but got no answer, so he went inside.

The room was completely dark but the light from the hallway was enough for him to enter without stumbling. He left the tray on the table by the bed and went to close the door after lighting the small lamp on the cabinet. Soft light brightened the lump wrapped in a large white quilt a little. He sat up as he reached out to touch him and try to find Ace down there.

"Ace," he said in a soft voice. "Wake up, it's time to eat."

"Mmm..." he heard him complain and move with his face buried in the pillow. "I don't want to, I'm not hungry."

"But _you must have_ something to eat," he insisted, and Ace looked up to see him, he was angry.

"No, I don't," he said, and lay down with his back to him. "Leave me alone, Rosi."

A sigh left his lips and he said nothing instantly. From the first moment he knew that this would not be easy and he didn't think of backing down.

"We have to talk," he said, feeling the boy beside him tense up.

"I don't want to."

"Ace, it's necessary."

"Lies," Ace cut him off with anger in his voice. "That doctor, the result... it has to be a lie."

A few moments passed where they said nothing and Rosinante felt tired. He was a very patient man, but he didn't know how to make Ace understand that he couldn't be in denial for so long. It was his health that was at stake and they had to do something soon.

"You had sex without protection," he spoke bluntly because he thought it was necessary, though he thought that perhaps Ace never received any kind of sex education that would inform him how to prevent pregnancy or illness. That boy was very neglected. "You have not had a period and your symptoms... It is not a lie."

"Yes it is!" he snapped, rising from the bed to look at that man and face him. "Those things happen to people, not to me, I'm not... I'm not a..."

His words stopped coming out and his lips twisted into a painful grimace. Ace felt his throat tighten and his eyes blurred. It hurt a lot, he was too frustrated and scared. Rosinante could see that and hugged him to support him. He thought maybe Ace would push him away, but he felt him cling to his clothes like a scared kitty.

"I don't want this, Rosi," he said and his voice was thread, the tears starting to run down his face. "I don't want..."

Rosinante had no consolation for him other than telling him that everything would be fine, that he was not alone and that, whatever happens, he would always support him. He hugged that child tightly and he was also afraid, because he was too young to have to go through these things and cried with him for a long time.

**.**

**.**

**.**

The day they went to the next medical appointment, the nerves were on the surface. Ace felt his hands, clasped in his lap, tremble and he swallowed when he heard a woman say his last name out loud. Rosi put a hand on his shoulder reminding him that he was there. Law entered with them silent but attentive to everything that was happening. He wasn't alone, but he still had to breathe deeply to control the anxiety that made him shiver.

A blonde woman welcomed them into her office. She smiled at him kindly and they sat down after closing the door. A desk separated them from the doctor and he felt very nervous about being in that situation again. At least that woman looked much nicer than the first doctor who treated him. Ace managed to read the name 'Otohime' on various diplomas framed on the wall. That was the name of the doctor they recommended, although he couldn't remember if she was a gynecologist, an obstetrician, or both, perhaps he should learn the difference.

She greeted them and asked why they were there. Ace felt completely unable to say it out loud and luckily Rosinante spoke for him, but that didn't mean it bothered him less. He handed her the tests that had been done for her to look at.

"I understand," Otohime mentioned with a nod. "Your name is Ace, right?"

He nodded and that woman's gaze was pleasant. She seemed to think carefully before speaking, but never losing her sweet tone.

"I would like to do an ultrasound before continuing, so we know how everything is there, have you ever had one or some other check?" She received a negative answer and she sighed. She closed the test results and left them on a desk to get up. "Come with me."

The doctor motioned for him to get up and Ace hesitated. He looked at Rosinante for a moment and then decided to rise as he wondered why he had to be going through this. It was his fault, but still he didn't want to do it.

She led him to a room inside the office. There was a stretcher there, a door leading to a bathroom, and a bunch of machines that Ace had no idea what they were for. He wanted to run away when she asked him to take off his clothes in the bathroom and put on a robe that was hanging there. Why? Was this necessary? She said yes, it was part of the check, but it made him feel very uncomfortable.

He obeyed, however. He felt very cold when he had to take off his clothes and his knuckles turned white from so much that he squeezed them. He leaned back on that stretcher and she spread his legs to see. Never in his life did he believe that he could feel so ashamed and wanting to run away from somewhere. He dug his nails into the white fabric of that bed and felt it twitch like a cat as the woman did her work.

All the time she busied herself talking to him to distract him, he supposed, and also explained what kinds of things she was doing. He held his breath when she opened it and _put something in_. It hurt and was extremely uncomfortable, but he held himself back so as not to make any sound. Otohime concentrated on a screen, which looked like a black and white television, where she apparently looked inside him.

Aren't ultrasounds supposed to be done on the belly? At least that's what he understood because of the movies. She said yes, but with this she could see other things, such as examining his entire reproductive system, checking the growth and condition of the fetus, and other things that Ace didn't understand. He was hoping she would tell him that there was nothing there and that it had all been a mistake. It was not so. She showed him where the _thing_ was housed —The doctor gave it another name, but Ace didn't register it—. It was only enough to hear the noise of the _thing's_ heart to accept how real it was. Ace covered his face with both hands still lying there without being able to accept it.

The doctor wrote things down as she spoke to him. She also checked his body, his chest, his abdomen. That woman's hands were careful, along with her gaze and her voice. It had been fast, so he didn't feel so traumatized. He had to think that it wasn't there, that it wasn't happening, in order to show his body to that doctor and let her do her job without his mind exploding with horror.

It wasn't too long, but for Ace it was hours before she said he could go get dressed. He had to wipe off the lubricating gel she used for the study and it didn't feel pleasant at all. When he came out, Rosi looked at him expectantly with Law, but was unable to say anything.

"Okay, Ace," Otohime spoke when he sat across from her desk. "In fact, you are already going through the 13th week of gestation. It is quite advanced actually, but you should know what your options are."

He looked at her in horror. He had been 13 weeks with that thing there? It was crazy.

Otohime spoke carefully and very clearly for Ace to understand. His options were three: Have him, give him up for adoption or terminate the pregnancy. For the latter, she said that it should be done now and should be done with a surgical intervention, because he was already too advanced to use pills and, according to the law, he was edging the limit to make a legal interruption.

So she could take it off with a surgery? He was afraid to think about it and more external elements invading his body.

She also asked him some questions about his medical history, pre-existing diseases and family history. In case he wanted to continue, he would have to do some more exams, but if he wanted to interrupt it, it was necessary to make the decision now.

He didn't have the strength to think about it. He couldn't even finish understanding how something was lodged in his body, even though he listened to it's heart. It was there. It grew and fed on him like an alien or a parasite. His skin bristled at the thought.

He felt the need to go out for air, but he restrained himself this time. Rosi talked to the doctor about things that Ace didn't actually hear, but he was attentive nonetheless.

They left the clinic to get into the car, but didn't start the engine. Ace was staring blankly at no particular point and wanted to cry, but he closed his eyes to contain that feeling that almost choked him.

"Ace," Rosinante called softly and continued speaking, but received no response. "I know that it is all very sudden, but it is necessary to decide what to do."

There was a long silence when he said that. He had already heard what the doctor said. Action needed to be _taken_ soon.

"If you don't want it, that's fine," he reminded him to let Ace know he had that option. "You don't have to go through this... You can even give it up for adoption, keep it... We can do whatever you want."

He was unable to answer at that time. He knew that he had all the options at his fingertips, they had made it clear to him. Abortion, having it, giving it up for adoption... he didn't know. He was just finishing accepting that there was something growing inside him that, if he left it, would end up becoming a baby.

"No... I don't know, I think I don't want... to have it," he murmured very softly, but Rosi heard him.

He said nothing. If that was what Ace wanted, they would do it, but he was also afraid of what was happening. That boy was his responsibility and he was terrified of what was going to happen. He should probably talk to Garp, but he promised Ace he wouldn't. They would only speak about it when both men returned in a couple of days, and he wouldn't let anything bad happen to him either.

Once again, Ace locked himself in his room to think after they came back.

He didn't cry as he wanted at first. He just stood in the dark looking up at the ceiling. He was afraid to touch his abdomen, as if the simple touch would electrify him. He bit his lips and got lost in his mind.

He took his cell phone and did what he thought was the best: Browse the Internet.

Then an article from a clinic appeared to him saying _'Are you considering an abortion? Learn more'_ and he clicked there.

He read information for a while that reminded him of everything Dr. Otohime had said to him in her office and went down to a section that said _'Questions to think of if you're considering an abortion.'_

_'Am I ready to be a mother?'_

As soon as Ace read that he hated it. He wouldn't be a mother. He was not a woman. He bit his lip thinking that it was not that internet article's fault, it was common for those who had babies to be women, why should he be angry if it was directed at them and not at people like him? Still, it bothered him. He didn't want to have that type of body, but he already had the thing inside. Ace would not be a mother.

_'How would having a child right now influence my future?'_

_'How would having a child influence my family right now?'_

_'How would my career goals be affected if I decide to have a baby?'_

He had no idea how to answer any of that.

He had no clear future. He hadn't even finished high school, so it wasn't clear to him how it would affect his life, either.

He thought of Garp killing him as soon as he found out. He also didn't have a family as such, so he didn't know how it would affect him either.

_'Do I have strong religious or personal beliefs about abortion?'_

Not at all. He was just scared of the surgery.

_'Is there someone who is pressuring me to abort or not to?'_

No. In fact, Rosinante had made it clear to him that he could do whatever he wanted and he knew that it was just like that.

_'Would the decision to have a baby or have an abortion change my life in a way that I want or don't want?'_

_'What kind of support would I need if I decide to have an abortion or have a baby?'_

He breathed out exhausted not knowing how to answer those questions. He put the cell phone aside and rubbed his tired face. He thought of the people he lived with, of Dadan, of Sabo... What would Sabo say if he saw him now?

Supposedly they had made the _thing_ together. Wherever he is, he had no idea of the alien they created and was now consuming his body like a filthy horror movie. Would he mind? What would he tell him to do? Maybe he had no idea, either.

Sabo wasn't there. Ace was alone and with this huge problem.

He looked at his cell phone again and read one more question from that questionnaire.

_'Would you consider giving up for adoption?'_

A small link in the word **adoption** led him to information on the subject. He wasted his time reading about how many times that was the option used for unplanned pregnancies. How many families, who are unable to have children for various reasons, were willing to adopt.

Would anyone want to adopt his _thing_?

Ace wasn't sure if he could go through all that process.

He never lived with pregnant people, but he knew it would have to be many, many months until the baby was born. The bodies were enlarged and changed. Ace shivered at the thought of that happening to him. His own body was already changing so much that he had to go through something like that.

He buried his face in the pillow with a sigh.

If he hadn't done that with Sabo, he wouldn't be with that problem now. Although he did have to admit that he didn't regret it. Because Ace loved him and still did. He couldn't grasp how they had ended up making the _thing_. Well, actually yes, because they had already explained it to him. Would he make other decisions if he could go back in time? Ace knew he would, but that was impossible.

He sat back up and looked up to touch his belly. He felt nothing there. There wasn't even a belly. Did he really have something that would become a baby?

He hugged his pillow and curled up on the bed for a while. He took a deep breath seriously wishing he could go back to the past where his concerns were not about having to say whether or not to abort.

He dared to release his frustration a little again and didn't mind wetting his pillow once more with his stupid tears. Maybe later he would know what to do, although Ace doubted it.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Rosi didn't speak to Ace again since they arrived, he knew he had to let him process all of that on his own. So he had dinner with Law and then they went to the grandparents' room to watch a movie. It was the only bedroom in the house that had a television and at that time they wanted to be in bed. He didn't think the grandparents would get mad, they weren't using that room at the moment.

He didn't want to think what he would say to them when they returned in a couple of days. Rosinante wanted to have a little distraction with his little son and maybe later he would try to talk to Ace again.

They put _The Lion King on_ and Law fell asleep pretty quickly leaving Corazón crying alone at Mufasa's death. That part always left him in pieces and he cried even though he was thirty years old.

An unexpected presence caught his attention. Ace poked his head through the half-open door frame and Rosi motioned for him to come closer. He noticed the red and puffy eyes of that boy gleaming on his sad face and his heart broke.

"Do you want to join us?" He asked Ace, and Ace just nodded.

Law had snuggled under his left arm and he raised his right arm indicating to Ace that he could take refuge there too, he knew he needed that pampering. He stroked that boy's back while _Hakuna Matata_ was playing in the background. A few minutes passed, he wasn't sure how many, but enough to almost make it to the final fight of the movie, until they finally spoke.

"If..." Ace's voice sounded shaky, but he still heard it perfectly. "If I take it off, it will hurt a lot, right?"

Corazón pursed his lips, not knowing how to answer that. He wasn't sure what it felt like to have an abortion, but he was certain it wasn't easy to deal with.

"The doctors will know how to take care of you and you'll be fine," he said as he continued stroking his back.

Silence again and neither of them was watching the movie anymore. They were both scared, but he knew Ace was even more scared it was his body and Rosi was aware of the _issues_ he had regarding his identity and how he looked. He was worried about how this situation was going to affect him psychologically.

"What if I give it up for adoption?" Ace asked unexpectedly, and Rosinante was confused because he sensed a bit of doubt in his words.

"We'd have to find a good family to take care of them," he explained, thinking about that hypothetical case. "There are many couples who adopt children because they cannot have them and would be very happy to take care of them."

He felt Ace cling to him more and buried his face in his chest. He supposed that idea touched him deeply because he had been adopted too. Rosi understood that. They were both raised by people who were not their biological parents and now little Law had come the same way. If Ace was determined, they could find suitable people to take care of that child. He had contact with lawyers and people who worked in the adoption system.

"I'm scared of... how I feel," Ace said, raising his face to see Rosi. "I don't want to change and look like... like... pregnant."

He gulped feeling pain as he watched that little boy suffer like that. Rosinante found no better comfort than to hold him tighter against him.

"You don't stop being you, no matter what body you have," he said sincerely, hoping that his words would do some good. "If you don't want to have it, that's fine, and if you want to put it up for adoption that's fine too. Maybe you will even make someone happy."

He didn't know if his words had any effect on Ace, but he seemed to relax a little. They had to decide what to do because Garp and Sengoku would return soon, and because of how advanced the pregnancy was, they couldn't wait. Ace knew that time was limited and Rosi was sure he would make the best decision, the one he wanted. Because it was his body and he would choose what to do.


	13. Chapter 13

Something undeniable was that those two old foxes had a monstrous intuition.

As soon as they returned, Sengoku asked Rosinante what was going on, but perhaps it was because he couldn't hide his concern and it showed in each of his expressions. He was honest and told them that they should speak to the two of them. He asked Law to wait in his room because he didn't know what that conversation would be like and what reactions to expect.

Ace was nervous, crestfallen, and surely hoping that moment would never come. They couldn't hide it and it was better not to. How could they anyway? They lived together. Also, Garp was Ace's legal guardian. There were several things that he had to do and authorize.

He took a deep breath and decided to all put the cards on the table. Actually, he put on some papers.

"What is this supposed to be?" Garp snapped, not wanting to see all that. As soon as they'd just returned from a long work trip, what he least wanted was to go check some documents.

Unlike him, Sengoku did look. The man's face was transformed seeing that they were clinical tests and it was worse when he saw who they belonged to.

"Where did they get this from?" Sengoku asked, looking at them both.

"They're mine," Ace clarified, drawing the attention of the two adults and averting his gaze.

"I took Ace to the doctor because he wasn't feeling well," Rosinante explained. "They did some tests thinking it might be anemia or something, but the results... "

"Oh my god..." Sengoku murmured impressed when he got to the part that gave him the positive results of a pregnancy and the details of an ultrasound.

Garp ripped off the papers and didn't need anyone to explain to him to understand. As Rosi spoke he was afraid that it was something much more serious, but it was still a problem.

"But what have you done?!" He shouted, throwing the papers on the table and getting up annoyed. "You were supposed to take care of him, Rosinante."

"It was not his fault!" Ace also got up almost pulling the chair back. "I did it..."

"I figured and I imagine with whom." The face of that boy who was so close to Ace came to Garp's mind. He didn't want to see the signs and thought that nothing would happen, but he was wrong. "I'll find that brat and tear him to pieces."

"Of course not," Sengoku interrupted for the other man to calm down. "The important thing is Ace and what we will do with this _situation_."

Rosinante also helped calm Ace so they wouldn't yell at each other, because there were other things they had to discuss. Garp reluctantly sat back with his arms crossed and Ace did the same.

"And what do you want to do?" Garp asked, looking at Ace, who looked at Rosi for support and he smiled at him.

"I will give him up for adoption," he reported decidedly.

Garp couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. He felt guilty about what that brat was going through, but it was impossible for him to admit it. Maybe if he had gone to see Ace more often, but his work prevented him. Nor could he take him to live with them because he didn't have a fixed place, only now did he manage to take care of him a little better. He should put Dadan behind bars for not taking good care of him, but Garp knew it was his responsibility.

He adopted that boy and protected him from all those who wished him evil. However, perhaps he didn't give him enough attention that a child needs in that eagerness to want to hide it from the world. He had no idea how children were raised, and the child he should have raised now was about to have a baby when he was just fourteen. This was a disaster, but, as Sengoku said, the important thing was Ace and that he was fine.

Garp was unable to continue speaking at that moment and got out. He felt Ace's gaze on him, but didn't come back. He still couldn't finish assimilating what was happening. It was enough that Ace felt like a boy, but had a woman's body and all that. He never quite understood it. He just let the brat do whatever he wanted.

It was very easy not to think about those issues when Ace lived with Dadan.

He adopted the boy when he was just a baby just out of his mother's womb. He had seen the woman in her last moments and took that boy to take care of him at the request of his father, one of the most wanted criminals and who took him the most work to fight.

At that time, they delivered that baby as a girl and left _her_ with Dadan because his job didn't allow him to take care of a child. The years passed and Garp visited a few times. On some of those occasions, he no longer remembered which, Dadan told him that _the girl_ didn't like _her_ name nor did _she_ respond as such. That seemed strange to him, but he paid no attention to it. Maybe it was even a good thing, he thought back then.

Gold Roger had many enemies, who knew he had a daughter. Perhaps this way _she_ could have a safer life and away from all the evils of _her_ blood. What he didn't know is that that decision, which seemed so insignificant, would open a huge pandora's box.

He also couldn't remember when they started to call him Ace. It just happened. Everyone got used to it being like this.

Garp continued with his work and from time to time went to see the boy. He ignored, or perhaps preferred not to think, that it was his responsibility and he was neglecting it. Maybe he was even overconfident thinking that nothing wrong could happen to Ace if he was hidden in the middle of nowhere.

Sengoku had told him that he couldn't leave him alone for so long and on his own. He understood and thought he was right. So he decided to take Ace with them, also to give him a better education. He didn't intend to mend anything, but now he felt that he failed enormously.

He decided to speak to Ace alone. He was a tiny brat, a boy, how could he really have a baby? It was all very confusing and it made him angry. He wanted to slap him on the head for being such an idiot and kill that other brat he got involved with, but it wasn't the best time for any of that.

He entered the room and felt satisfied that Ace let him enter. He sat down on the bed and the boy leaned away from him with his legs bent against his chest. He understood the defensive position, he looked like a small wild animal about to bite him, but he didn't care.

"Do you really want to do this?" He asked, wanting to hear it again.

Ace looked to the side and shrugged.

"Someone else can take care of it," he said seriously. "You adopted me, Sengoku did it with Rosi and now he did it with Law. I think it'll be fine."

He clenched his fists on his knees. All those who lived in that house were a strange group, assembled for different reasons and with mostly tragic stories.

"Do you want to look for him?" He asked, assuming Ace would understand that he was talking about Sabo. He was aware that they both lost contact, but Garp and Sengoku knew many people, probably they could find him. "If you want we can..."

"No," Ace interrupted him. "It's not necessary. Enough trouble I bring you and others. I don't want to know... what would he say about me."

Something inside him creaked when he heard him say that. No matter how many mistakes he made, he couldn't see him suffer. He reached out to draw the brat to him and hug him.

He remembered that day when he went looking for him and Ace clung to him heartbroken. He thought about that moment and didn't hesitate to squeeze him again to show him, as best he could, that he was with him and would support him in whatever was necessary. He felt Ace's taut body as he circled him, but he instantly trembled and let himself be hugged like that time outside of Dadan's house.

"Don't be silly," Garp retorted, his voice deep and a confident smile. "You are not a problem, we are for you and... we will see what to do."

He wasn't quite sure if that was what Ace wanted to hear, but he saw him nod.

He still didn't know how things would go on anyway. Ace said he would give the child up for adoption, but they still had to explain what the doctor said and all that. This would be complicated, but they would face it as the strange family they had begun to be.

**.**

**.**

**.**

The following weeks were hell.

The nausea continued a lot and he had to follow the doctors' recommendation to try to stop that discomfort. He ate small portions and things that were not overloaded with strong flavors or smells. That helped, but he was sick of the bland food already. Anyway, he was not vomiting anymore and that was good news.

The worst thing was when he started looking in the mirror. He looked at his profile and almost looked the same, but no. _That thing_ was jutting out from his abdomen and he felt it gave him chills. It was growing and it was not the only thing.

His chest bothered him greatly. It hurt and he everyday was bigger and bigger. It seemed like a nightmare.

He hid those details from himself under clothing, but it wasn't enough. There it was, he could _feel it_ , as if it were a small hardness in the lower part of his belly or perhaps it was his disturbed imagination playing tricks on him.

He had a lot of nightmares and whole nights where he lay awake thinking that it hadn't been a good decision, but what could he do now? When he found out he didn't have time to do much and now he couldn't regret it.

More than once he thought he couldn't cope with all this.

He couldn't bear to see himself and every day discover that something new appeared or something else had changed.

He remembered when Sabo told him that they were not very different, that they had a similar physical build. Ace laughed in anguish at the thought now that everything changed so much. He was becoming more and more like what a woman's body was and realizing that disturbed him.

Did it make sense to keep saying he was a man? He was about to have a baby and his body was becoming more like one of a woman. Why then did he have a document that said he was a man if he had never really stopped looking like a woman? Should he still be called Ace?

Several nights he found himself curled up in his bed, pulling his hair and wanting to scream. He wanted to tear off his skin to stop asking himself those questions. He wanted to stop questioning whether he was male or female or what. He wanted to stop feeling that pain in his chest that wouldn't let him breathe.

He didn't know how to explain the fear he felt or all those doubts that tormented him. Who could understand him? The doctor who was treating him was kind, but he didn't know if he should tell her what he thought. That woman could not answer the question about what he was.

Rosinante told him that he didn't stop being himself regardless of his body, but what was that really? He always felt like a boy and expressed himself that way, no matter what others think. Now by what criteria could he maintain that posture while he had a baby growing inside him? Women are the ones who have babies.

What would happen when it continued to grow? Would he still look more like a woman? Would they start treating him like one? Would he begin to think like that about himself?

Terror filled him and he cried until he fell asleep from exhaustion. If only he could have answers to help sort out the mess inside his head a little. A horrible cold cloak hung over him filling him with uncertainty even within his dreams.

One of the days he woke up after having one of his fatal nights —although lately most of them have been— Rosinante reminded him that he should go to the doctor, and Ace shivered at the memory of his consultation with the obstetrician.

He went to take a shower to clean up the tiredness that he was carrying and he returned to the same destructive routine where he looked at himself in the mirror realizing every detail that bothered him. He ran a hand over his chest and frowned at the sensitivity, that same pain that no longer allowed him to sleep on his stomach. He even had the feeling that his nipples looked bigger and were never like this. His hand descended to his belly slightly _bulging_ at the bottom.

Did he look like a girl? Was it too noticeable? He noticed his waist, his hips, and _everything_.

He preferred to go to the shower while biting his lip before answering that question. He let the water wash away that tortuous sensation that squeezed his throat threatening to knock him out of air. The same one that made him hate himself and repeated his greatest fears within his head over and over until pain welled up from his body without making any noise. If only the water could take away all that that was not his, that was not part of him, but it remained there when he opened the curtain and looked at himself in the mirror again.

The soup he ate before going to the doctor was delicious and didn't make his stomach churn. Corazón said a friend of his gave him the recipe, her name was Bellemere. Ace didn't know much about that man's life, so it was nice when he shared a few details.

There was a small talk with the elders about who would accompany him to the doctor, but Rosinante ended up winning. Ace actually preferred it that way.

Law wanted to go with them, but his father told him that he better stay there and next time they would go. Ace didn't understand why he prohibited the boy from accompanying them, but neither did he inquire. He was not interested in that consultation, he would like not to have to go, but it was inevitable.

It was extremely cold and he put on warm clothes. Luckily, inside the car they turned on the heat.

"Christmas is right around the corner," Rosi mentioned as they traveled.

Ace had noticed it, too. The houses were full of decorations everywhere and he wondered if they planned to put some up, but Rosi mentioned that they forgot to buy a tree. Maybe they would later. In that house everything went on it's own pace and with a very particular rhythm, although Ace thought he was getting used to it a bit.

"What do you want for your gift? Your birthday is also coming up."

"I don't know," Ace replied.

"How about a computer?"

At that suggestion, he couldn't help but look at him puzzled.

"It's too expensive, Rosi."

"Not so much, plus you'll need one when you want to study again."

His mouth twisted in a nonconforming gesture when he heard him say that. Studying was what he least thought about at the time. He had already decided that he would not continue for now and he was still unsure if he could resume at all. Law hadn't started kindergarten, either. At least there were two lazy people who didn't study inside that house.

When they got to the clinic, Rosi told him they had to go somewhere else first. He didn't understand why, but he didn't question it either because it was very confusing how clinics, hospitals and all that were managed. Maybe he should start learning because he'll have to come very often.

They went to a section where he had never been before and he was surprised when he saw a large sign that said 'Endocrinology'.

"I made an appointment for you to speak to an endocrinologist," Rosinante finally confessed, and Ace looked at him in surprise. "I know maybe this is not the time, but this person specializes in cases like yours and I thought that maybe it would do you good to have this appointment. You know, in case you want to do any treatment."

Ace swallowed hard. He wasn't sure what he meant by the treatments or what he needed an endocrinologist for. However, he didn't want to disappoint Rosi. Maybe Ace should've googled things he didn't understand —or just ask— before he went into the office, but it was too late.

Emporio Ivankov was the person who took care of them and Ace felt a little disoriented as to why he was there, something that perhaps showed on his face.

Rosi explained the situation a bit. That man was worrying about him a lot, almost like a father or older brother would. Ace was sure his situation would be very different if he wasn't there. Besides, he didn't have to worry like that, but he did anyway. That made him feel guilty. Even Garp and Sengoku were getting things done because of his situation. He was not used to this.

As much as he lived with Dadan, Ace was used to being alone and doing everything on his own. He couldn't get used to having people with him all the time. People who continually asked him how he was, gave him food or tried to take care of him as if he were sick. It was annoying and tiresome because he never experienced anything similar, but it also gave him a little bit of peace of mind. In this moment where he barely understood what was going on, it was when he least wanted to be alone.

"You're in a complex situation, boy" Ivankov mentioned with a sigh, and Ace winced when he heard him speak and stare at him. "Your body is going through a revolution and your mind must be a mess, right, Ace-boy?"

He bit his lip at the thought and looked at his hands. He didn't have the courage to answer yes.

"I'm not going to lie to you," Ivan continued. "Your body will change and will never be the same, but you can do something to help you feel a little more in tune. Trans people access hormonal treatments that help them get closer to the image they really identify with."

That caught his attention and Ivankov noticed that the boy didn't understand anything. He spent a long time explaining what he meant by hormone treatment, a little basic biology, and what else Ace could do to feel more in tune with his body. He blinked in shock as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Won't I look like a woman anymore?"

"It's not that simple," he replied, and Ace was a little disappointed. "You must first go through this stage. You cannot have any hormonal treatment while you are pregnant. Even later you will have to wait a while if you want to start it."

To him the whole thing seemed a little like a fantasy. He couldn't imagine how his body could change by doing hormonal treatment or something like that. Ace already knew what he looked like now and feared for when that pregnancy would progress. His nerves were disturbed just thinking about it. Still, that person persisted and continued to explain how those things worked.

He even showed him examples of people before and after doing treatments. Ace didn't believe it, could his appearance really change like that?

"Treatment helps and so do the things you do to feel good."

He didn't ask what he was talking about, but he knew it didn't matter. He had already told him, there was nothing he could do now and he would have to live that way.

"I don't think it would work," he said pessimistically. "I don't know if I can change _this_."

He pointed to himself and clenched his teeth feeling annoyed.

"I'm supposed to have a baby, and women have that. How can I keep saying I'm a man if I look like this?"

His eyes clouded over and his voice nearly cracked, but he was able to stay on his feet. Ivan looked at him thoughtfully and Ace didn't dare face Rosinante, who was still by his side hearing all the explanations. Saying his fears out loud and being heard was mobilizing in a way he wasn't sure if he could fully cope with. He already wanted to leave, but he kept sitting in that chair.

"Ace-boy," Ivan spoke to him very seriously. "You have to understand how to separate things. Your gender identity does not have to correspond to the sex assigned to you at birth. Identity is what you choose and feel beyond your biology."

He couldn't help scratching his head and growling jadedly. It was difficult to understand, to assimilate, or believe all that information. Ace was not very convinced.

"While you can't do a treatment now, it would be nice if you did therapy," Ivan wrote on a card and handed it to him. "I assure you that he is an incredible therapist and has cared for people with cases similar to yours."

Ace looked at the card that had a phone number on it and said "Bon Clay Bentham."

"You also have my number there," he added.

He turned the card over and printed there was the name of Emporio Ivankov, a phone number and an e-mail address. Would it be to make more inquiries or to make an appointment? Ace didn't think he would use it.

He also didn't think he would call the therapist. However he did. Rosinante's insistence and the support of the old men encouraged him to do so. Ace knew he wasn't crazy, but he was slowly getting there or at least he would be if he didn't do something. Maybe it would do him good to talk to someone who knew more about these issues than he did.

At home he googled 'transgender', 'gender identity' and 'hormonal therapy'. He read long hours of information, testimonies from different portals that made his skin stand on end, and articles that left him thinking.

He still had a lot to learn, but at least that search distracted him a little, enough not to think about the thing that grew within him.


	14. Chapter 14

"How have you been these days, Ace-chan?"

It took a while before he answered Bon Clay. He remained seated in that comfortable chair he had in the room. It was white and filled with pillows of various colors and textures. All the decoration of the place was like that, that was what most caught Ace's attention the first time he went there. After a couple of months of therapy, he had gotten used to the swan figurines in every corner and they even looked nice to him and they matched well with the pink accents of the whole place.

Colors were not something that was inherent to gender or at least that was what he had said during one of his sessions. Bon Clay was patient and funny, plus he listened carefully and that's why Ace wanted to keep going. He allowed himself to vent a little on all the frustrations and anguishes that afflicted him, in return he received words that made him reflect and look at situations from angles that he had not imagined.

Bon Clay treated him not as a madman, but as a person who was learning and who needed help, just like anyone.

"Good," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I had to go to a consultation this week, but it wasn't that bad. I think I got used to it."

After 4 ultrasounds, he already understood perfectly what the procedure was like, although the transvaginal one was still uncomfortable and he got like a bristling cat about to take his claws out, but he managed to contain himself. The _thing_ was fine they told him, it was almost six months old and he could no longer pretend that that little belly didn't exist. Luckily, since it was winter and it was very cold, he could hide it and pretend it wasn't there under the clothes.

At first getting used to going to the doctor so much was a whole drama. It is true that he was very underweight when he got his first checks and was forced to eat more. He also consumed vitamins that were prescribed to him and apparently everything was normal with the _thing_. If it wasn't because sometimes, inevitably, he touched his belly, he would forget that there was something there.

"I'm hardly dizzy anymore and I can eat whatever I want," he added as a positive remark. "Although Rosi always reminds me to be careful and all that."

"That's good, he cares about you a lot."

"I guess."

"Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

Ace thought about what to answer before saying it. The days were all boring and monotonous. He only left the house to go to consultations or therapy, and his room had become a shelter. His narcolepsy was out of control and he would rather stay there than risk going downstairs and falling unconscious. He took many naps during the day and stayed awake more than necessary at night.

"A little..." he agreed. "I think a lot at night."

He couldn't help but turn over memories and moments in his life that no longer existed. He thought a lot about Sabo and what he would think of him now. He probably wouldn't recognize him, Ace himself could find himself every time he looked in the mirror, so he stopped doing it. He didn't want to see his body the way it was, all those shapes and things that grew only made him feel worse about himself. He didn't want to be that person. A couple of times, when the anguish was such that it didn't let him see beyond the horizon, he regretted the decision he made.

"It's worse when the Alien won't let me sleep," he snapped, pointing at his body, to that belly he had hidden under a beige sweater that fit him like a tent.

His nights worsened when the _thing_ became more present moving and that scared him a bit. At the clinic they explained to him that now that the _thing_ was bigger he had less space to settle and that was why he could feel it. From then on, he started calling it _Alien_ , because whenever he felt it, he thought it was going to open his stomach to go out and it would be like in the movie. Rosi looked at him strangely whenever he said that.

Bon Clay was already used to him calling it that way.

"Haven't you tried exercising or doing dance routines? That would help a lot to spend energy."

"I am too tired to try."

"And going out for a walk?"

Ace frowned at the thought and denied.

"I don't want to," he said, running a hand through his black hair. "I don't like people to see me, I have enough when I go to the clinic and..."

He clenched his teeth. Now that _Alien_ was becoming more noticeable in his body, people were mistaking him more for a woman and he hated it. He was not a 'young lady', why should people assume it so easily?

"It's inevitable Ace-chan, it will happen" Bon Clay mused, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "The society in which we live is binary and heterosexual. We aren't educated to understand that other identities and sexualities exist. Don't bother with those who assume your gender because of your appearance or what they assume by looking at you, think that they have not had the opportunity to learn yet."

He sighed in frustration because it was very difficult not to get angry when he lived through those situations.

He tried to incorporate the concepts that Ivan and Bon Clay showed him. Identity, gender, sexuality, biology, perception. He understood what they were referring to but applying it on himself was a monstrous task.

Just because he was having a baby, didn't mean he was a woman. He understood this, but in many moments of weakness, in those suffocating nights, he felt that all that security and tools they had given him were fading.

"How about the adoption procedures?" Bon Clay asked, broughting up the topic Ace had told him in his last session.

"Garp said he's talking to a lawyer and to some other people," he replied. "I don't know, I don't understand how it works, and Rosi says that maybe it's better to wait until it's born to do it."

All that paperwork sounded very cumbersome and Ace didn't want to think about it. As much as the elders would take care of it, it caused him a lot of stress and anxiety. He felt that there was still a long way to go before _the thing_ would be out, but not really. He was already on month 6, which meant that it would soon be leaving his body and thinking about that made him panic.

Otohime talked to him about the _birth_ and Ace just wanted to die right then. She still didn't tell him what it would be like, but they should start planning it soon. He didn't want to. He hated thinking about that moment and then to have to deal with the adoption. Maybe it shouldn't be that way, because when that happened the problem would end, but he was still very scared.

"And how do you feel about that?" He asked. "Alien-chan will have another family, what do you think about it?"

Ace stiffened at the feel of a kick coming from inside his body and he touched his belly without realizing it. His _thing_ even seemed to recognize when they talked about it. He still couldn't imagine what it would be like when it came out.

"I don't know, I was adopted and it wasn't that bad," Ace replied. Although his situation was different. His parents were not there to take care of him. Although he didn't consider himself the father of the _thing_ and Sabo didn't even know of its existence. So it was the same if he had to be honest. "I guess it will be fine... as long as it has a good family."

"You can't control that, Ace."

He knew Bon Clay was right. He had thought about it a couple of times. How would he know in which hands would _Alien_ fall into? He hoped they were good people. Was he able to leave a baby to their fate and continue living on? Ace didn't want to think about that.

After he left his session, he went to Rosinante. Having that little space to talk was helping him at that difficult time. He got into the car and briefly recounted how therapy had been. Corazón looked happy for him. He was the one who most insisted on him to keep going after the first time and Ace was very grateful.

"Are you hungry?" Rosi asked as Ace struggled to put on his seat belt. Even if that belly was not very big it made things difficult for him.

"A bit."

"Do you want to eat something?"

"Mmm..." Ace hesitated because he didn't want to sit down to eat with people around him, he preferred to go home, but Rosi noticed it.

"McDonald's has drive thru," he suggested with a smile and Ace looked at him impressed.

"You don't let Law eat that garbage."

"He doesn't want to eat it because 95% of the menu has bread."

"I would say 100%."

They both laughed and ended up going to McDonald's. There was a rather long line, but that gave them time to decide what to order. It had been a long time since his appetite had opened up so much. Sometimes he ate like a beast and other times he hardly ate a bite. They ordered hamburgers, potatoes, and even ice cream. They stopped to eat in a parking lot and, even if it was junk food, it was very good.

Rosi looked at him puzzled when Ace put potatoes on the burger and even ice cream, but he instantly laughed when he said he should try it before criticizing. It was fun.

"I don't think the doctor would agree to this," Ace said as he mixed a potato chip into his chocolate sundae. Disgusting but very tasty. One good thing about that belly was that you could use it as a table to drop off your bag of potatoes.

"It will be a secret," said Rosinante. "I'm sure him like it."

"Alien is more than happy," he said, wanting to take another potato, but a movement of his belly caused the small bag to jump out of its place. "I think it wants to go out and eat them."

They laughed again as he picked up what _Alien_ threw away.

"Do him kick?" Rosi asked.

"A little, everyday more and more," he replied, touching his belly, and another blow struck his hand. "At night it is torture."

That pesky bug liked to get restless at night and Ace would love to have a switch or something to turn off the kicks.

"May l...?" Rosi didn't finish his question fearful of upsetting Ace, but Ace understood him anyway.

He set the food aside and indicated to Rosi that he could touch if he wanted. The man's large hand could almost encompass the small belly, he stroked it gently and they both jumped when they felt the blow from inside.

"Wow, incredible..." He sighed as he felt another blow.

"It's not amazing when it does it in your body," he reminded Rosi. "Sometimes I really think my stomach will open and a monster will come out."

"I don't think so," Rosi laughed, pulling away. "Him will be normal, maybe he'll have your freckles."

"You think so?"He asked in surprise. Suddenly Ace found himself stroking that belly trying to give it a shape other than the monsters from the Alien movie. His belly was very small, how could something like him come out of there? "Yes... Maybe it could even have black hair."

He also remembered that there was a good chance that it would turn out blond, wasn't there? He could not imagine what a child would look like with his and Sabo's features mixed. He wouldn't see it grow anyway and he pursed his lips at the thought of that.

"Will it's family love it the same?" He asked with some concern as he questioned again if he did the right thing deciding that this child should be born. Rosi stroked his hair to distract him from his negative thoughts.

"He will be raised with a lot of love," he said to calm him and Ace smiled accepting his words, but he was not happy.

An abysmal number of questions kept turning around in his head. What if they didn't find a family? What if they found it but they weren't good? How would he know who were the right ones? He was very confused and scared. Still, he was sure that anyone would take much better care of it than himself, because Ace had no idea how to hold a baby even though he had one growing inside.

**.**

**.**

**.**

He didn't want to wake up, even though he knew he couldn't sleep forever. He had been tossing and turning in bed for a while, trying to settle himself, ignoring the hunger and the kicks _Alien_ gave him from within. The damn bug never left him alone. Slowly and very lazily he sat on the bed, pulling the covers off him. His bed was warm and nice, but he was seriously hungry. He also suspected that the _thing_ would stop bothering him if he ate. Ace sometimes thought that baby would be a glutton.

He stretched as he searched the floor for his slippers and got up to put on his sweater, along with a pair of baggy pants. He looked like a tramp, but he was very comfortable that way. In addition Rosi had given him some of his t-shirts to wear, which were huge and came almost to his knees as if they were dresses, that man was very tall. He had also stolen a wool sweater from Garp, which was very warm. It seemed like a waste of time to go shopping for bigger clothes that would fit him for those months, nor did he want to leave home.

Now he had been encouraged to go with Rosinante and Law to take a walk in the park, but he did no more than that and only went because they insisted. It wasn't as bad as he thought and he even felt the fresh air help him. Spring was beginning to come in with sunny days and soft breezes.

Ace yawned as he left his room and scratched his head. When was the last time he got a haircut? He didn't remember, but the black strands were already over his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes as he made his way to the kitchen.

"It was about time you woke up, brat," Garp said from the sofa where he was sitting watching television.

Ace looked at him with a raised eyebrow and remembered that it was Sunday, so the house was a little more crowded than usual. He didn't answer because he was still groggy from sleep. He looked for some food and found a plate of pasta that probably was left over from noon —because it was almost four in the afternoon— so he heated it in the microwave. That apparatus had become a great ally since he began with that _situation_. Many times he was hungry but didn't want to cook, so the microwave almost always solved his problems.

In any case, Rosi always left him food to eat whenever he wanted. Everyone there knew that he was not in the best mood, so they didn't bother him and let him do everything at his own pace, which he was grateful for. At first, when they had just found out, they had been on top of Ace and this overwhelmed him. Now everyone seemed more relaxed, but they were always paying attention.

He took his steaming plate to sit on the couch next to Garp. He wasn't interested in talking directly to him, but they could watch TV together while he ate. Again he used his belly as a table.

"And the others?" Ace asked as he ate and Garp went through the channels.

"They went out shopping," he answered, then looked at him. "Is it good?" He asked, referring to the food. "I made it."

"I don't believe you." Ace almost laughed but kept eating. "You hardly ever cook, old man."

"Sometimes I can do it."

Ace knew it, sometimes Garp would prepare something to eat and it wouldn't go wrong for him at all. He winced when he felt a hand land on his head.

"How are you feeling?" He asked unexpectedly.

The old man's displays of concern disoriented him, but he was already a little more used to it. He had even accompanied him to one of his consultations and witnessed an ultrasound. He was not angry like when Ace confessed the pregnancy, but he did feel tense and worried, a strange occurrence in that crazy old man. That new facet surprised Ace all the time.

"I'm fine," Ace answered, resting the plate on his belly for a moment. _Alien_ was quite still, but every now and then he could feel him move. "It wasn't letting me sleep, but it's calmer now."

Unexpectedly Garp laughed at his comment and Ace didn't understand.

"He's an energetic boy," said the man.

He shrugged his shoulders unsurely and continued eating until the pasta ran out. He wanted to eat chocolate too, but he would investigate if there was some later. The damn chocolate had become his greatest weakness when it came to food. He set the plate on the small coffee table in front of the sofa.

"It's annoying," Ace said, placing a hand where he felt a small movement. Garp approached wanting to touch his belly and he let him.

Everyone in the house was doing it already and he didn't care. At first it seemed a bit strange. He knew his doctor had to do it to check him, but then more people wanted to touch him. He didn't quite understand why, he supposed they were curious. Even Law liked to play doing 'ultrasounds', so he was used to it and even found it fun to follow the boy's games.

"You were also a baby in your mother's tummy."

"I'm sure I didn't ninja kick her to knock her out."

The old man laughed and Ace laughed too. He was exaggerating a lot. The bug wasn't that bad, but it was an annoyance in his daily life. Is this what it felt like to have a baby growing up? Would the same thing happen to everyone? Perhaps he should look for more testimonials on the Internet.

"Are you still thinking of putting him up for adoption?" Garp asked, taking his hand off his belly, and Ace felt tense.

"Of course," he said quickly and clenched his teeth without realizing it. "It needs a family to take care of it."

"We are a family, although a weird one." The old man spoke in a relaxed way that confused him. "The thing is if you want to take care of him."

Ace bit his lip without wanting to answer. He couldn't do it. He was going through that situation wishing everyday it would end and trying to reassemble his life. How could he take care of that child? He didn't even imagine being a _father_. He felt too young for that.

Still, one thing he always thought about when tossing and turning was how the _thing_ would look like. Rosi said that maybe it would have his freckles. What would its eyes, its hair, its smile be like? Would it look like him? Would it look like Sabo? A mix of the two? Maybe. After all, they had made it together supposedly. A part of him was growing there, inside him, moving violently and demanding him to eat to grow bigger. Ace sometimes hesitated, because he didn't want to hand out the significance of those sweet moments he had, but it was too selfish a motive.

The important thing is that this baby would have a place to live, parents who love and care for it. However, the thought of how that family would be tormented him. What if they were people like Sabo's parents? Ace couldn't leave his son in the hands of people like that.

Son?

He almost shuddered to think like that about the _thing_.

Although Garp was an old fool, he was right in saying that they were a family, albeit a very weird one. In those months living there they established themselves that way. They learned to live together. The old men with their silly arguments, Rosi with his son and all the problems that came. It was fun, though. They laughed a lot and even Law seemed much more comfortable in that house.

One of his favorite moments was spending time watching television with the boy and playing. The hours passed very quickly like that. Then Rosi would argue with Garp and Sengoku about who would prepare the food, although sometimes everything ended up being resolved by ordering some take-out.

He liked living there, with that weird and assembled family. Still, Ace didn't know if there might be _someone else_ and couldn't imagine taking care of it either. What would the _thing_ think about him being its father? Surely he would prefer someone less _troublesome_.

As much as he was happy with his life there, Ace didn't deny his years with Dadan. The woman had been a mother to him, with all her flaws and limitations, but she was. She gave him a freedom that Ace wasn't sure if he would experience again. Also, living in that place he met Sabo. Maybe if he had always lived with Garp and the others, he would never have met him. That meant that now he wouldn't have to be dealing with the _alien_ inside his body.

That thought gave him a bitter taste. A couple of times, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he thought about that possibility. Now he wouldn't have to be worrying about the changes in his body that were so noticeable, or thinking about what to do when the _thing_ came out. Everything would have been very convenient like that, but would he prefer it?

He touched his belly again and thought that no matter how badly he was having it now, he wouldn't change everything he had lived and felt with Sabo.

He bit his lips and hung his head feeling sad. He hated that his emotions were sometimes so volatile. Garp seemed to be aware of his change and perhaps felt guilty about what he said in their conversation, so he did what he thought was best: bring chocolate. Ace thanked him for that gesture.

"We are here!" Rosinante's voice echoed in the house along with the noise of the door.

Law came running very excited, a rare thing in that calm boy.

"Ace, look what Grandpa bought me!" Law said, showing him a small red briefcase with a white cross, and Garp came over to look, too.

"Wow, how many things," Ace mentioned in amazement as the boy pulled out his toys to show them to him.

There was a stethoscope, some medicine, a syringe, and even some letter sheets that he assumed were for eye exams or something. The briefcase was quite complete.

Ace also noticed that all of the toys were red, yellow, or white. He knew very well that Rosi hated that idea of 'boys in blue and girls in pink' so he used to buy Law more neutral things or ask him what he preferred, but above all not to raise him with those preconceptions that colors are gendered. It seemed admirable to him and he appreciated it, especially being a non-binary person.

"Are you going to do Grandpa Sengoku's eye exam with this? He's pretty blind already, though," Garp laughed.

"I think it would be better for you to get an examination, old man," Sengoku assured, entering with some bags and behind him came Rosinante.

"Excuse me?" Garp was offended. "At least I don't dye my gray hair."

"It wouldn't hurt you."

Ace totally ignored the casual discussion these old men were having and kept playing with Law. Rosinante approached them.

"Did you show Ace all your toys yet?" Rosi asked, and Law nodded happily.

"Is this for listening to the heart?" Ace picked up the yellow plastic stethoscope.

"Yes, that's how it's used." The boy put the device to his ears and tried to listen to Ace's heart. "It does tuc-tuc-tuc."

"It's good news, it means I'm not a zombie or a vampire."

Law laughed at his joke and wanted to hear his dad's heart and everyone else's too.

"I have to check him," said the boy, pointing to the belly, and Ace hesitated for a moment, but accepted.

He didn't want to ruin his emotion, so he pulled his clothes up a bit to expose his skin. Law's small hands touched his belly and tried to listen with his stethoscope.

"Does it make monster noises?" Ace asked, still wondering if what was inside was an alien or some kind of strange creature.

"A little," Law said, pulling away, "but it's okay... uh... what's his name?"

"Alien Thing, that's its full name," he said as a joke and at the same time quite seriously.

"Stop calling them that, Ace," Rosinante complained.

"And what do you want me to call it?" He sighed, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know... Baby or make up another name," Rosi thought until he had an idea. "How about you say bean? I've heard people call them that."

"More than bean I'd say it's a pig now." Ace touched his belly and covered it with his clothes because he was starting to feel cold. "Plus it doesn't sound fun."

"I like Batman," Little Law suggested.

"That one is better."

They began to throw away increasingly aberrant ideas. From calling it 'rice pudding' to 'Adalberto'. Sengoku and Garp joined the discussion giving their opinions and ended up looking on the Internet for a page of funny names for children. That moment was unexpectedly pleasant and they laughed a lot.

"Rocky Rambo is not a bad option," Ace said as he drank a hot chocolate that Sengoku brought for him and for Law, the others were drinking tea.

"You like that but you said Avelino was horrible?"

"It was awful, Rosi."

"And how about Abba?" Sengoku suggested.

"That's a band, Dad," Rosi reminded him. "The ones who sang Dancing Queen."

"I think you once knew a guy named Abba," Garp tried to recall. "How about Luffy?"

Ace frowned at that odd name and instantly denied then finished drinking his chocolate.

"You choose the worst names, old man," he said, cup in his hands. "It doesn't matter what we call it, someone else can name it."

Neither dared say anything to him. It was a fun moment, but the baby wouldn't have a name, at least not one that they gave him. His new parents would name him, so it was a bit pointless to make that decision.

"Won't he be called Batman?" Law asked with a pout and Ace laughed.

"Maybe," he said, stroking the boy's head.

He wouldn't decide, but if he had to, his favorite names were Rocky Rambo, Batman and... maybe Luffy didn't sound that bad, it was better than Abba.


	15. Chapter 15

He swallowed and took a deep breath as he waited outside the office. Today he had to go alone because all his possible companions were busy, but he was fine with that. He already knew what to do and was not afraid. The only annoying thing was having to walk with that belly. _Alien was_ already 8 months old and they had entered the final phase. He was very nervous and anxious about what the doctor was going to tell him.

In his last consultations, Otohime told him that the baby was not growing as it should and this worried him. It was barely over two kilos, it was very small. It was 4 weeks before the estimated date of the birth and now she would tell him how it was, if it had gained weight or not.

It had been two weeks since he saw Otohime and he assumed that _Alien_ had gained weight. At home, when they found out about this, they forced him to eat much more and he even got to the point of eating 3 plates. Luckily, food no longer made him as nauseous as before. Ace generally didn't feel ill anymore. Only his back ached and he had a hard time moving. He always felt tired and sleepy, he didn't stop sleeping like a bear.

He hoped that this has helped the baby reach the weight he needed.

When he entered the office, Otohime greeted him happily. He had spent a lot of time with that woman, he expressed many of his doubts and she always answered him with affection.

During the ultrasounds, she chatted with Ace to distract him from the awkward moment a bit as she jotted down the data she needed and checked that everything was in order. During those talks, he found out that she was married, her husband was also a doctor, and had three children. She even showed him photos she had in her office. She was a very nice woman and gave him a lot of reassurance, which Ace needed more than ever.

This time he noticed her a little serious and that worried him.

"It hasn't increased since last time," she said, analyzing the baby's weight.

"And it won't?"

She didn't answer his question, which made him more nervous.

They finished the ultrasound and asked him to change.

Ace felt his hands shaking as he sat down in front of the doctor's desk.

"Why doesn't it increase?" He asked again. "I had been eating a lot."

She smiled at him and shook her head gently.

"It's very good that you did, you are very responsible," she said honestly. "But the truth is that there is no specific cause for these cases. It may be that the placenta matured prematurely or something else, but it is best not to wait."

The doctor's words gave him chills. As much as there was no reason why the baby was not growing, the part of 'no to wait' filled him with panic because he already imagined what was to come.

"It is preferable that he grows what he lacks outside," Otohime continued. "If we leave it like this, his life and yours could be in danger."

That only meant that it would no longer be born in a month, but now.

He felt his heart begin to beat with tachycardia and he squeezed the fabric of the pants he was wearing. She said that she had to notify his guardians to be able to do the necessary paperwork. In addition, she commented that a cesarean section would be best because the baby was too small and might not be strong enough to go through the birth canal, but he could decide what he preferred.

Ace wasn't sure what was better, but accepted the doctor's recommendations. He wanted that process to be as fast as possible.

When he left the office he felt lost. He rubbed his face wearily and sighed as he leaned against one of the white walls of the clinic.

He could barely assimilate what was happening. The baby had to be born sooner than expected and he did not know how to take it. He felt guilty at the thought that it was weak because of him, because he had not taken good care of it or that his body rejected it. He had said a couple of times that it was a parasite, but he wasn't being serious.

He bit his trembling lips and walked through the hallways of that clinic until he reached the endocrinology area. He approached a desk and asked if Emporio Ivankov was there. The secretary told him that he had not yet arrived, and that he also needed an appointment to see him or a spontaneous demand order to see if they could give him a consultation. Ace insisted that he only wanted to ask one thing and she said no.

"What's going on here?" Ivan appeared, probably just back from the street, and raised his sunglasses. His eyes locked on Ace and he recognized him instantly. "Boy, what are you doing here? Do you have an appointment?"

"No, I just... I wanted to ask you something about..." He didn't want to say it there and Ivan understood.

His patients that day had not yet arrived, so he let him in.

"You've grown a lot, huh?" He mentioned looking at the notorious belly and smiled at him. "How are you doing?"

"Um... well, almost without problem."

His tone didn't seem to convince Ivan, and Ace swallowed, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Actually... I just came out of a consultation," he commented, pausing briefly before continuing. "It seems the baby is not growing and has to be born now."

Ivankov's surprised look caused his chest to squeeze. Saying it had only caused his heart to tremble from the nerves the situation generated.

"Ace..."

"Is it my fault?" He interrupted him. "I tried to eat more, but it didn't work. Is it because I didn't take care of it before or because my body rejected it? Is it because I don't want to be a woman? Did I hurt it?"

He clenched his hands very tightly and dug his nails into his skin, but it didn't hurt. It was impossible for him not to vomit all those doubts that he had in his head. Otohime told him that such things happened, but Ace felt he was responsible. Ivan knew about his problem with his body, with his identity, perhaps he could tell him the truth.

Was he hurting his child because of his decisions? If he had chosen to be a woman, would he be okay? Deep down, Ace knew it was silly, but he couldn't help but consider it. He was afraid something would happen to that baby and to have been responsible for it.

Ivan said nothing for a moment, and he decided to come over to sit next to Ace and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course it's not your fault, boy," he spoke softly, and that motherly tone made him feel like a child. Ace's lip quivered in a pout and his eyes filled with tears he had refused to spill earlier. "These things can happen to all pregnant bodies. Many babies are born a little earlier, but he will be fine and so will you. That you have carried him does not make you less of a man and I assure you that you did not harm him being who you really are, quite the contrary. You are a very brave boy and you will be a good father."

Ace didn't have the courage to contradict at that moment nor the voice to respond. His throat closed and he could only breathe a sob as he wiped his face.

He wouldn't be the father of that baby, but he wanted to do whatever he could to make it okay. Although Ivan already knew that he was going to give it up for adoption, but perhaps he forgot it at that moment. He felt _Alien_ kick harder and placed a hand on his belly. Whenever he cried it seemed to be restless. Maybe he annoyed it by being emotional like that, he didn't know.

He thanked Ivan for his time and words. Before leaving, he promised that he would take care of himself and they would be in contact. However, Ace still had a lot to think about and things to figure out.

When he returned home and reported the news, he was met with many confused looks, but Ace managed to restrain himself as well as possible so that his head didn't explode from the pressure. That day was Friday and his next appointment for the c section was set for the following Tuesday, May 5. There was very little time to prepare. Although perhaps it was for the best, letting the alien be taken out of him at once and getting rid of that problem. As much as he tried to think like that, he was terribly afraid.

He was barely able to taste a bite at dinner and hardly slept at night thinking about the procedure he would go through. The baby moved inside of him as usual and he soon realized that in a few days he would not feel those blows again. It was good, because it wouldn't bother him anymore, but it didn't excite him to realize that. He ran a hand over where it kicked him and found himself snuggling closer to himself until he fell asleep.

He had terrible nightmares that night and the days that followed. He couldn't stop thinking about what would happen and everyone in the house seemed a little nervous just like him.

The damn day came and Ace woke up almost at dawn, actually he slept very little. He was supposed to be there early to get ready and the anxiety that ran through his body made him ache.

He gave a growl like an annoyed dragon that wouldn't scare anyone. He raised his head from the pillows regretfully and left the graveyard of blankets that had become his bed. He didn't even bother to open the curtains because there was hardly any light outside. He decided to take a shower.

That would help wake him up and relax. He scratched his head as the water heated up and began to remove his clothes. Everything was difficult with that belly that prevented him from making adequate movements. He felt huge, amorphous, and weird. All those months he felt that way, but in a few hours it would be gone. How was he supposed to look after it was born?

It was inevitable to look at himself in the bathroom mirror, as he had not dared to do for a long time, and he pursed his lips. He looked so different, he was almost unrecognizable in that image. He had many dark circles under his eyes and his skin was almost translucent, sickly. He ran a hand through his messy, tangled hair, but that wasn't so bad. He could wash himself and his hair would look decent again, but his body was another story.

He clenched his hands feeling so out of place, more than ever, and hugged himself feeling cold. He had to go to the shower not to face that image of himself, of that person that he was not or did not want to be. As much as he tried to think that having a baby, having a body capable of bearing one, did not make him a woman was very difficult. How many men had babies? He didn't know any. He didn't even look like that right now. Bon Clay would scold him for having destructive thoughts about himself, but he couldn't help it.

He let the water from the shower bathe his sorrows as usual as he tried to convince himself that it would all be over soon. His body would not have those shapes forever. When the baby was taken out of there, he could return to a more consistent image —or so he hoped— of himself, but it was almost impossible for him to see it from a positive point of view when he hated the image he saw in the mirror at that moment.

All those months were tortuous but now there was something much more complex to bear. It just had to happen and that's it. Besides he wouldn't even notice it. He was supposed to feel nothing under anesthesia and wake up when _Alien was_ no longer inside.

Could he even see it? He didn't know how that would work. After all, he intended to put that baby up for adoption. So could he meet it or see if it was okay? Would they take it away as soon as it came out?

Ace didn't stop thinking about that even when they traveled to the clinic.

They all went with him. The old men had taken that day off to accompany him, like Rosinante and little Law was also very attentive. They had even packed him a bag with clothes and things he might need. Ace was not involved in any of that, he didn't even know he should be wearing more clothes than he was wearing. Perhaps he should have paid more attention to Otohime's instructions.

The moment they arrived, Ace left with the doctors. They dressed him up and did all the procedures. His clothes were replaced by a white coat, an IV was placed on him and they had to clean _the surgery area_. They shaved off his hair and cleaned his abdomen. At various times, he felt his belly stiffen with nerves as the minutes progressed.

It hurt a lot when the anesthesia was put in. It didn't instantly put him to sleep, as he supposed. One of the nurses told him that he could stay awake, but that he would not feel pain during the procedure. Still, Ace had been sleeping very little for days, and that anesthesia only reminded him of that.

He tried to stay calm and did it quite well. He couldn't see anything during the caesarean section because a kind of curtain covered half of his body, hiding what he supposed was a butcher shop. However, he felt things. He was too sleepy, but he refused to sleep. He imagined that on the other side there was a lot of blood, organs and guts; something worthy of the slasher genre. It was just missing someone screaming in fear and maybe that person should be him, but he didn't have the strength to do it.

He heard doctors, nurses, people talking, but he couldn't understand the words. Everything reached his ears as an annoying interference noise. He blinked with difficulty when he thought he saw _something_.

There were no cries like in the movies, nor did anyone congratulate him, take his hand or show him the baby. He only saw that they were taking a small thing that until a few moments ago was inside him. He wanted to move, but his body didn't respond, nor did his voice come from his throat. He began to gasp and hear one of the machines he was wired to making loud noises upsetting the doctors, but Ace didn't know what was going on.

A couple of tears ran down his eyes because it was impossible for him to contain that despair that overwhelmed him. Yes, he knew they were going to take him, but at least they could have shown him once. He wanted to know how he was, how he looked like. If he was okay or if he had messed him up. He was him and Sabo's baby, even though he wasn't there, they had made him together. Why couldn't he see him?

He closed his eyes and fell unconscious without noticing. The accumulated fatigue, anesthesia and pressure of the moment knocked him down. He didn't know where he was when he woke up. It was almost like the blink of an eye. His body ached and he wanted to continue sleeping, but he refused. His mind was clouded and he was barely aware of things around him. That was not his bed and everything looked too white and smelling of disinfectant.

"Are you okay, Ace?" Garp's voice pierced his senses and he met that man's worried gaze.

"Yes..." he replied in a hoarse voice and wanted to get up, Garp helped him sit up.

He felt that he had fallen from the top of a mountain and his whole body crashed to the ground in a violent way. He couldn't help but complain as he settled in and held his head to stop it from spinning.

Instinctively, he touched his belly, but there was nothing there. The bundle that had been with him so many months ago disappeared and he remembered everything. He was in a hospital and had a baby. He looked everywhere, but there was only him, Garp, and one more bed, empty.

There was no Rosinante or Law or Sengoku or the baby.

His mind went through that moment of the caesarean section where he was being taken away. He was there, he saw him, why didn't they tell him anything? Maybe he wasn't entitled to something like that, but he still wanted it.

"Where is he?" He asked, his voice a thread.

"Who?" Garp said with a raised eyebrow. "The others went for coffee, they will return soon."

Ace shook his head and tightened the sheets as he lowered his head. For a moment he wondered if he was really crazy and it was all part of a dream, but it was impossible. His body ached. He felt the pull of the wound in his lower belly, that's where they took him out. It couldn't be his imagination, but as soon as he was awake he felt very disoriented.

Had all those months and that traumatic moment really happened? Yes, it was etched into his skin with fire.

"The baby..."

Even though he muttered those two words, he knew the old man heard him. His silence made him despair. He had no idea if he was silent for just a few seconds or minutes, he wanted answers.

"Where is he?" He demanded to know, and Garp's words were like a blow to his chest.

"They took him."

He didn't even look at the old man when he said that. He slowly raised his head to see his gesture and thought he couldn't be serious. What did he mean they took him away? What did that mean? Wouldn't he really have a chance to see him? After all those creepy months and the surgery he had to go through, didn't he even have the right to see him to know how he was doing?

"No, no... They didn't let me see him." He shook his head and his breathing hitched. "They can't take him, please Garp... " His trembling hands clutched at the sleeve of the man who adopted him and protected him. In that instant, he felt desperate and needed him more than ever. His voice didn't sound demanding, but he was pleading, and his face was streaked with tears he couldn't contain. "Please bring him in... "

He was unable to size that moment. He didn't mind begging in a shattered voice, nor that the old man saw him cry inconsolably. He just wanted them to bring him his child. Every part of his body felt resentful and the fire on his skin only burned him more.

"Calm down, Ace," he said, taking him by the shoulders, but he didn't hear his words.

"No!" He snapped louder and tried to shake Garp's hands off him. He wanted to go, get up, and search for him on his own, but he was so weak he couldn't even get out of bed. "I want to see him! I want to know... if he's okay."

"Enough," Garp said, drawing his attention. "You still have to recover, so calm down."

It hurt him to have to see Ace like that, broken and out of his mind. He felt guilty for allowing that to happen. Garp had assured himself that he would take care of that child, but right now he felt he was a failure. He hugged him trying to calm him down as he could and felt Ace cling tightly to him. He could feel how tormented that boy was, but he couldn't find a better way to help him in that instant than to let him cry on his shoulder.

Ace's hands tightened on Garp's shirt and he sobbed as much as he wanted. He couldn't believe he seriously wouldn't see his baby. It was so unfair. He fought very hard and now he couldn't even know if he was okay.

At some point he stopped crying and the room was silent. There was no one there but them and he wished with all his might to leave that place. If only it had all been part of a dream and now he would wake up in his bed with Sabo hugging him. That would be incredible. He could feel happy again and not like now with that hurricane inside his chest that was destroying even his vocal cords.

The door opened and they both watched a nurse enter. Ace felt his heart stop when he saw her carry something in her arms and turn to him. He turned away from Garp and wiped away the tears on his face. He rubbed his eyes hard because he was afraid he was seeing poorly.

"Good thing you're already awake," the woman said with a kind smile. "We came here to visit you, didn't we?" She spoke to the blankets in her hands. "We already cleaned him and made the checks, although both have to rest."

Ace just nodded and his entire body trembled when she went to hand him that set of white blankets. It was a baby, _his baby_. His heart practically exploded in that instant. She placed him on his legs to look at him.

He was so small, almost the size of his forearm, and he wanted to cry again. Had he really made that thing?

The baby shifted a little while holding him. He looked asleep with his eyes barely open and he was wearing white clothes that Ace didn't know where they had come from. He hadn't bought things, but he supposed Rosi and the others did, but that didn't matter to him.

He heard the baby make strange noises, groans, which brought out a smile and brought him closer to his body. He bit his lip as he felt the baby adjust to his chest as if he had already hugged him like that a million times.

How had he made such a small thing? How had he and Sabo made him? They were just _fooling around_ in his room and now he had a baby in his arms. He was so tiny, but it still felt very warm against his chest. Ace found himself smiling as he stroked the little, very short black hair that was his color. He flexed his legs and hugged the baby closer to his body, unwilling to let go.

Sabo was no longer there, but why should he let go of all he had left? He didn't want to do it. As much as he was afraid and thought he couldn't raise him, he didn't want to leave him either. At the time, he didn't care if it was a selfish desire.

When he was still in him, he worried a lot about the family that would take him. What if he ended up somewhere where they despised him and didn't take good care of him? Ace couldn't leave that little thing to his own devices. He felt responsible because he didn't grow as he should and that's why he was so weak now. He didn't take good care of him while he was inside his body and now he was guilty to see him so fragile in his arms.

"I don't... want him to go," he mentioned knowing Garp was listening.

The man smiled and stroked the head of that boy who was holding that little baby, his grandson.

"Don't be afraid, the only place he will go will be home with us," he said, and Ace looked up to see him surprised, but still smiled.

"Thank you..."

Garp felt strangely good at that moment. He didn't want Ace to have to go through these difficult times, but he trusted the boy. He would be fine and that little baby too.

He took a moment to send a message to _the family group chat_ they had. Rosinante and Sengoku had gone to eat with Law while Garp stayed to take care of Ace. That thing of the WhatsApp group chats was very useful.

 _"Go buy diapers and clothes. We are taking him home "_ was what he sent and received a lot of messages from the two men, but for the most part they were happy. Because everyone noticed Ace's doubts and a little bit also wanted the baby to move in with them. One more member to their weird family.


	16. Chapter 16

Against all odds, he managed to sleep a little longer, because he was really very tired, and left the baby on his chest. He was too warm, much more than he would have imagined, he didn't want to stop hugging him. When he had him inside his body he hardly let him sleep and now they both rested comfortably. He leaned back on the bed and the child settled on his chest while Ace looked at him. He was tiny. He stroked his head and back. He looked too soft too, he almost felt like he could melt over his body if he didn't pay attention.

Still, exhaustion overcame him and he fell asleep. He heard Garp talk to the nurse, but even that wasn't enough to keep him awake. He felt exhausted and with each part of his being destroyed, but also very calm and he didn't know exactly why.

He woke up when Rosinante, Sengoku, and Law reached the room. They made a lot of noise, so much so that Ace opened his eyes with regret and placed a hand on his chest realizing that the baby was still there asleep, he had not woken up.

The intruders brought lots of bags and he didn't understand why. They told him that there were clothes, toys, diapers there; Ace was completely shocked. Was that all for the baby? At what point did they have the opportunity to buy it? He was too sleepy to ask.

"It's just a few things," Rosi explained. "Although we still need a crib."

"And a stroller for him to ride," Sengoku added.

"It's true, and also one of those car seats."

They kept listing everything they needed and Ace didn't understand a thing. Did that baby require so many things? It seemed a bit far-fetched, but he was still amused by how excited they were.

When he decided to keep him, it was in a moment of despair, but he didn't regret it. Even so, he didn't know how the others would take the news and he was glad seeing them so happy.

"I brought this!" Law announced, wanting to climb onto the bed, but he was too small, so Garp helped him. "It is for sleeping."

Ace nodded at the little white teddy bear and smiled. Law liked polar bears a lot and it was a nice gesture to bring him one. He placed the baby in his own arms to show him and took the bear.

"Thanks, Law," he said to the boy, then looked at the baby. "We are going to use it a lot."

"Really?" He said surprised and walked over to look. Cora-san had said that the boy was his cousin, but Law was not convinced. "He's so ugly..."

Instead of taking offense, Ace laughed at that comment. He was right, he looked pretty ugly, but for him it was fine. He was tiny in his arms and with a face that looked like that of an alien. During the entire pregnancy he thought that a monster was brewing inside his body and he had just verified it, but it didn't seem like a bad thing. He was his baby and he loved him that way.

"Law!" Rosinante chided him. "Don't talk about your cousin like that, that's the way babies are when they are born, then they change."

"He's still ugly," said the boy, lifting his shoulders.

He wasn't sure how babies worked or if they really changed as they got older, or at least that's what they told him. He was fine just the way he was and Ace was glad to be able to hug him, to share his warmth.

At that moment when they were all together, they remembered something important: the name. They had not thought about it seriously until that moment and none would agree, so they decided to leave it to chance.

Amid so much madness, Ace had forgotten that detail. What kind of person forgot to name their son? Although he didn't have a clear idea either, he would decide between all of them.

They each wrote a name they liked and put them in a bag. They called a nurse to take out a paper and announce the winner, it was fairer for a third party to do the draw and there would be no cheating. She looked at them without fully understanding but agreed and took one of the papers after rummaging.

"Let's see..." she said as she read. "Luffy."

Garp was the one that celebrated the most because he had won and his name would be what the baby carried. Law pouted because 'Batman' hadn't won, but maybe it was better that way. Although Ace would have preferred that than Obdulio, as Rosinante wanted to call him, or Antonio, the name Sengoku had chosen. He had chosen Rocky, but he also lost.

"So Luffy," Ace muttered, looking at the baby. "I think it suits him."

His baby, his Luffy. Thereafter it ceased to be 'thing' or 'alien' no matter how ugly he looked.

**.**

**.**

**.**

He rubbed his face in frustration and pulled his hair back as he sighed. He was nervous at that moment. It was his second day in the hospital and he wasn't having a good time at all. One of the good things was that he could have a room to himself and was constantly visited. The old men and Rosi took turns to see him and ensure he was not alone. He appreciated their concern and were very helpful to him, because after the surgery he could hardly move. He was in a lot of pain and could hardly get out of bed, but that was not the worst.

Something he didn't consider was when he would have to feed the baby. His breast had grown and it was just to produce that milk with which newborns are nourished. He didn't want to have to do that, the very idea terrified him and he refused. Couldn't the baby drink those formula milks or something? They explained to him that he could, but the milk his body could produce would help the baby regain the weight that he didn't gain in the belly way faster.

Luffy was born underweight, but didn't need to go to an incubator. His organs were well developed, but he was still a small baby and needed to put on weight.

If he could feed him, he should, right?

Ace still felt guilty because Luffy had not developed as he should. As much as he was told that his body had nothing to do with what happened, he was not convinced. In that case, if he could help him regain strength, why not?

He tried and failed. The boy just didn't drink anything and when he almost did it hurt. It was impossible and he felt like a failure. Something that didn't look like milk barely came out and it wasn't enough.

Now he was alone because they had taken Luffy to feed him, because they couldn't leave him hungry because he couldn't give him milk. Ace wondered if it wouldn't be better this way. His chest ached and his nipples felt completely sensitive, as if a million needles were pricking him.

His doctor went to see him to find out how he was and explain some questions. A nurse also gave him some advice on how to proceed, what position he should be in and to keep trying, he should not be discouraged, but it was inevitable. They also told him that it was a time when he could connect better with his son and form a stronger bond, or something like that, he was not sure.

He never liked having breasts. Since they started growing it has been a problem for him and in recent months it has been a nightmare to see them grow. They were torture now, but he could also feed Luffy like that. Otohime assured him that his body was sensitive at first and maybe it would hurt a little, but after the first few times the pain would go away. At the time, it seemed like a lie.

She also told him that his chest would shrink after a while and that gave him a bit of hope. It didn't look huge either, but there they were and every time he touched them it was an ordeal. How are you supposed to feed your baby if you can't even bear the pain?

He should look for a tutorial on YouTube.

When Luffy returned, he noticed that he was asleep. He spent many hours sleeping and wondered if it was normal. Anything seemed odd to him, but maybe that was because he had no idea how babies worked. Maybe it was better that way, a quiet boy like Law. He wished he would turn out that sweet and calm as he gets older.

Someone knocked on the door of the room and he thought that it would probably be Rosinante, who said that he would come to see him at that hour, but Ace was surprised when he saw that it was not him.

"Excuse me," Ivankov said softly as he entered the room and smiled at him. "How are you doing boy? You look exhausted."

He blinked in shock at the sight, but was pleased.

"Ivan, how did you know where I was?"

"I asked Otohime about you and said I wanted to meet your pup," he explained, approaching the bed. "How is that child"

"Fine," he said, holding his sleeping baby in his arms and showing him to Ivan. "He had no problems, he is only a little small and he must gain weight."

Ivan saw the baby wrapped in his white clothes with bear drawings. It was true that he was small, but he knew he could recover. The important thing was the procedure that had already passed and that Ace adapted to this new stage that was just beginning.

"Babies grow very fast when they drink milk," he said. "Are you planning to breastfeed him?"

Those words made him jump. He was no longer sure what to do.

"I don't know," Ace replied. "I want to, but... it hurts and he doesn't seem to want to drink. He is always asleep."

"That's because he was born before time," Ivan explained, and Ace didn't understand what he meant. "It is not my area of expertise, but... Imagine that inside the belly they are asleep and he was born a month earlier, so it is as if he was still asleep."

He frowned without being sure of those words. Is that why Luffy slept so much? It seemed a bit strange to him, but he wouldn't rule it out either.

"And the pain is normal," he continued. "Your body has just experienced a war and now you are sensitive to any touch. It will go away, just as the pregnancy did, and you will get used to it. Also, newborns have to eat every three hours."

"Three hours?!"

"Boy, you are so lost."

He sighed overwhelmed. He was right. Of course he didn't understand anything and was no longer sure if he could learn.

"You have to have discipline and you will succeed."

Ace didn't feel very sure, but accepted Ivan's words. He stayed there with him for a while and also went to see a nurse. The woman told him that if the boy didn't wake up, Ace could do it to make him try to eat. When he became a little older he would wake up when he was hungry, but now he couldn't do it on his own.

Ivan helped him the first time. They ran a small damp cloth over Luffy's face and moved him very gently, enough for the baby to wake up. At that instant, he tried again.

It took a few moments for the boy to recognize his chest, his scent, his warmth. His small hands rested on his skin, and the tiny mouth held on to his nipple much better than last time. Ace tightened the sheets and bit his lips when he felt him suck.

"Don't worry, try not to stress yourself or it will hurt more," Ivan told him, but Ace couldn't. It hurt a lot and he almost felt unable to breathe.

He threw his head back. He inhaled and exhaled slowly. He wasn't going to remove him. He had to do it. This time it was working much better than the last.

"Okay..." he said holding the baby against him. "I think it's drinking."

"He's very hungry," Ivan smiled at him. "If you continue like this, in a few days you will return home."

That encouraged him. Going home and his child being ok would be very encouraging.

When Rosinante arrived, he apologized for being late and congratulated him on having managed to feed Luffy. He felt a little sorry, but he was also glad he did it.

From then on, every three hours he gave him milk and there was always someone to help him wake up that sleeping baby. After that time, Luffy immediately latched onto his chest and Ace felt that he was hurting less and less as the days went by, although perhaps he was suggesting himself.

After a week in the hospital, Luffy had gained more than half a kilo and they were told they could leave. All the work had turned out. Ace had hardly slept when he should and his narcolepsy didn't help because he often fell asleep while feeding him, but there was always someone with him.

When they found out that they could come back, they all seemed very excited because Luffy was going to live with them, but Ace still didn't finish getting a grasp of the situation. That little boy who was in his arms was his son and now he would take care of him. He had come out of that body that caused him so many contradictions and now he was also using it to feed his baby. Conflicts would not go away so smoothly, but he also had to admit that he was a little happy to feel that he wasn't doing everything terribly wrong.

It was nice to put on normal clothes again and walk, although he got tired very easily. The caesarean section had left him with a painful aftermath, so he couldn't move too much while he recovered. Luffy snuggled against his chest as they rode in the car and Ace wrapped him in a blanket. Although he had already spent a couple of days with his son, he still couldn't believe it.

Garp had gone alone to look for them and told him that the others utilized the time he was hospitalized to condition the house a little better for the unexpected arrival of the baby. He found funny the way they were revolutionized by Luffy. Despite the situation, he could also feel that they were excited for the new family member.

Their house seemed pretty normal, except that there were now baby clothes, diapers, toys, and a crib in his room. All in very varied colors, but mostly reds. He liked that color.

The only thing that surprised him was that his room now looked like a nursery. They had even gotten a piece of furniture where they could store his son's things. It was nice to see how they had thought of everything.

They even made a special lunch for him that day and he realized he needed that little pampering, in addition to some junk food because in the clinic everything they gave him was 'healthy'. He ate potato chips while the grandparents held Luffy in their arms. Garp held the baby, who looked quite asleep and almost microscopic in the man's arms.

"Look how he falls asleep with me," he mentioned speaking to Sengoku. "I'm sure he recognizes me."

"Don't be ridiculous, the only one who he must recognize is Ace."

"I am his grandfather, of course he knows who I am."

"I think for the moment he doesn't care who we are," Rosinante mused, and Ace laughed.

"He only sees me as food," Ace said, dipping his potatoes in ketchup and the others laughed.

His son only woke up to eat, to be changed or to be hugged. Those were Luffy's requirements that he could recognize and that instant was no exception. It was time for him to give him his milk. He had to leave his own food to sit on the couch and open his shirt. Luckily, it was spring, and the weather inside his home was nice enough that he wouldn't get cold. Nor was he ashamed to do it in front of the others because all of them had already seen him in the clinic.

Ace was feeling more confident accommodating the baby and even knew how to recline so he could drink comfortably. It hardly hurt anymore or he had gotten used to that feeling.

Luffy fell asleep on his chest shortly after finishing eating and thought he should change his diaper later, but he wanted to enjoy him a bit like that. After a couple of times practicing with diapers, he already understood how to do it without being too tight or loose.

The one who came curious to see him was Law and sat next to him. The four-year-old boy seemed suspicious and was the least excited about the baby. However, he didn't think he was jealous or something like that, but maybe he didn't understand why everyone was so crazy about Luffy.

He watched the baby sleep on Ace's chest and raised an eyebrow. He reached out to touch him and was surprised by the soft skin he had. He touched the baby's little fingers and Law thought they were too small, he couldn't hold anything like that. Neither draw, play, or hold a glass of juice.

"For now he can't do much until he grows up," Ace told him. "So you have to take care of him."

Law nodded as if he had just been given a mission.

"Does it take long to grow?" He asked, puzzled, and Ace shrugged.

"I don't know, we'll know."

For the moment, Ace wanted to continue enjoying that warm little body against him. Luffy rubbed his still sleepy face against his chest and complained, which made him laugh.

"Why does he sleep so much?"

"Mmm... I guess because he's still a baby," he said unsurely and settled him in his arms better. "Would you like to hug him?"

His question seemed to make the boy nervous and he almost thought seeing him swallow hard, which was funny. Ace was a little afraid of grabbing Luffy at times and was treating him very carefully, but he was trying to relax.

Law sat cross-legged and Ace laid the baby on top of him explaining how he should grab his body and hold his head. Despite being only 4 years old, Law was very careful and obedient. He listened to him and hugged Luffy, who looked like a toy baby in his cousin's arms.

Law carefully watched that boy. His skin was soft and he smelled of soap. It was nice and warm to hug him.

Corazón did not miss the opportunity to take pictures of them.

Everything was fine, but the days passed and Ace realized that this situation would not be simple. The nights were terrifying. He had to learn everything too quickly. Feeding him, dressing him, bathing him, everything; and as much as he got help there were things that it was up to him as a father to do.

In the time he was in the clinic, the doctors and all the staff helped him a lot, in addition to clearing up his silly doubts about the things that were happening to Luffy. At home that comfort disappeared and he felt a bit helpless.

During the first month, his son gained a lot of weight but also became much more active. He didn't sleep like when he was just born and that was torture. Luffy cried all the time and Ace had no idea what to do with him sometimes. He was neither hungry nor dirty and he didn't sleep either. Distracting him was very difficult.

His body ached and he was dying of sleep. Since the caesarean section, and before, he did not remember the last time he slept 6 hours straight. The baby's cries pierced his ears and he couldn't pretend he wasn't listening. He didn't want to get up, he seriously didn't want to.

Ace sat on the edge of his bed and ran his hands over his face. He also wanted to cry. Everyday.

He walked a couple of steps to the baby's crib and lifted Luffy snuggling him into his arms, but he didn't stop crying either, he only managed to appease the screams against his body. He walked his room as he moved him in his arms hoping that would work. Sometimes it got good results, sometimes it didn't. His body was tired and moving was a struggle.

He sat up in bed feeling his nerves overflow at any moment as Luffy sobbed against his chest. He felt like a lousy father and doubted if he really was ready to do this.

He was only fifteen, how was he going to take care of that baby? He couldn't even calm him down well when he cried.

He wondered again if he had made the right decision to have it and keep it.

Maybe Luffy needed a mother, someone who really knew how to care for him. Instead he felt like a disaster and it had been crazy to take such responsibility.

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath to get up and lay the baby on the bed for a few moments. He felt unable to hold him at that moment. His body dropped to the floor as he leaned his back against the bed and flexed his knees against his chest. He felt like his head was going to explode. He tossed his hair and felt completely helpless. He had been trying to calm him down for an hour, but nothing worked. He was seriously thinking he was not cut out for this.

However he couldn't leave the baby alone. So he got up even though he didn't feel like it and hugged him again.

"Come on, Luffy," he muttered, almost begging even if the baby didn't understand. "Let me sleep for a while, I'll give you candy when you grow up or a stack of hamburgers, but I really need to sleep."

His son didn't answer, but he believed that he was sobbing lower. Should he give him those burgers when he's older? Maybe, but only if he kept silent.

The door opened almost without him noticing —perhaps they knocked, but he didn't hear because of Luffy's screams— and Ace saw Rosinante enter. He brought a steaming cup and the smell of hot chocolate mesmerized him.

"Hard night, huh?" The man said, setting the cup down on the table by the bed. "Give him to me for a while, you must be exhausted."

Ace's eyes sparkled with excitement, because his arms were sore and tired from holding him for so long. Still, he felt guilty. It was three in the morning and Rosi had to wake up early to go to work.

"Don't worry," he replied. "He was calming down already and you have to rest."

"You need a break," he said, reaching out to take Luffy. "Drink the chocolate while I hold him."

He hesitated a few moments but ended up accepting. Rosinante held Luffy as he sat on the bed and Ace was able to stretch a little. He took the hot cup and took a sip feeling it gave him more energy. He even sighed with pleasure. He watched as Luffy settled on Rosi's neck and sobbed less and less.

"I don't know how to make him stop crying," Ace snapped, letting out his frustration.

"He will tire out and stop."

"I doubt it..."

"Why don't you try sleeping with him in bed? I think that will help him relax, maybe he is afraid of being alone."

That seemed crazy to him, but he didn't lose anything by trying.

After drinking his chocolate and talking to Rosi for a while, Luffy seemed to calm down.

Ace was left alone with him and leaned back in his bed with the baby on his chest, on his bare skin. He gave him milk and Luffy accepted it. He was beginning to believe that he really was a glutton. He even fell asleep there almost instantly. Maybe Corazón was right and Luffy didn't like being alone. At least that night he let him sleep for a while.


	17. Chapter 17

"I don't sleep that bad anymore," Ace said, but he wasn't quite convinced by his words. "Well, Luffy actually sleeps through the night, but I stay up studying."

His therapist congratulated him and asked him more about it. Ace was very happy to tell him that he had returned to high school, but taking online classes in order to continue taking care of Luffy. If he tried hard enough, he could finish it and make up for the years he lost. His baby was over a year old, but was big enough not to be glued to him all day.

He had only recently decided to go back to school, so he was still getting used to doing it at home. Luckily, he had the computer that had been given to him when he turned fifteen and now it was very useful, Rosi was right.

Luffy was growing very well. He regained all the weight he lacked when he was born and grew a lot. He walked and fell everywhere, Ace had to be behind him so he wouldn't get hurt. He was a restless toddler, but also a lot of fun and he laughed all the time. Ace was learning to enjoy those little things from his fatherhood.

He was still breastfeeding, but it was no longer like the first months where milk was dripping down his body, wetting his clothes and making him feel horrible. He was also very skinny. He lost the pounds he had gained when his son was born in a very short time and even more, although that was because Luffy absorbed him in more ways than one.

Those months were difficult, but going back to school had given him a new air. He even thought he would like to go to college.

"It's important that you regain your individuality while taking care of Luffy-chan," Bon Clay commented, and Ace nodded.

He understood what the therapist was saying to him. Luckily he kept going after his son was born, it was one of the few moments where he would go out and could be alone without the child. It was a little difficult for him to leave, but when he finally did, he realized his need for personal space. He loved Luffy, but he needed to be alone.

Bon Clay told him that he must build his own independence, but that didn't mean that he would neglect his son. Because Ace was very young and still had to develop as a person.

"Now that Luffy eats I think I'll stop giving him milk."

Ace had that hope, but he wasn't sure he could achieve it. The toddler even asked him when he wanted to drink. Luffy didn't speak, but said some words or sounds that seemed so. When he was hungry he said something like _'mik'_ that Ace interpreted as "milk". Many times, when he held him in his arms, the little monster would tug on his clothes looking for food.

Sometimes he seriously thought that his son saw him only as a food source. Still, he hoped that breastfeeding would end soon. Luffy already ate everything, even solid food, but his favorite food was milk. Ace just wanted to stop feeling like a cow and go back to being a person.

Bon-chan congratulated him on his progress and encouraged him. His therapist knew all the problems Ace had with breastfeeding. His chest had shrunk a little, but it was still too big and he couldn't use anything to hide it. It was annoying, because the only thing that made him comfortable was looser clothes.

"You could check with Iva-san again," Bon Clay suggested, and Ace remained thoughtful.

Sometimes he thought about taking up the conversation with Ivan about his body and those treatments that he could do. He knew that while he was breastfeeding it would be very difficult.

"I'm a little scared not knowing how I'm going to react," he said, thinking about hormones and that each body was a different world. "I don't know if I can handle that while taking care of Luffy and trying to organize my life."

Hardly a year had passed since his child was born. His life had changed a lot in that time and he didn't know if he was going to be able to deal with something else. However, he still had a serious problem with his image.

He still didn't want to see himself. His body bothered him and he tried not to think about it, but it was impossible. Many times it caused him anguish and anxiety to realize what reality was, his reality, which only suffocated him with more force as time passed.

"As much as you've had a baby, you can't stop taking care of yourself," Bon-chan reminded him. "Gender dysphoria is a very serious issue. If you need to make a more important transition to feel consistent with your identity, you have every right to make it."

He bit his lips at the sound of it. He had heard that term before in his therapies or mentioned by Ivan, he even Googled it. _Dysphoria_. The term that was used to talk about people who feel an inconsistency between their biological sex and their gender identity. Ace understood that gender and sex are not the same, neither was their sexuality. Those were three different things. His biology was not linked to gender or his sexual identity.

He felt like a man and he was sure of that, but his body continued to bother him with those shapes that kept tormenting him. He knew that, despite having a child, he was still young and could _modify_ some of those things that didn't leave him alone.

Would he be happier like this? What would he look like? The thought of that made him very nervous. He wished there was an application on the cell phone that would let you know the exact results to decide.

Maybe he was going to talk to Ivan soon.

The session left him thinking a lot, as always, but his mind felt slightly more in order and he liked that. Without all those people he had in his life, Ace knew it would be a much worse disaster than it already was. Maybe Bon-chan was right when he said that he was very hard on himself.

He returned home by public transportation. They no longer drove him or went looking for him everywhere. It was another small step to achieve more independence. That made him feel a little freer and more relaxed, even though it made him a little nervous to walk down the street at first. He was more used to it now. He already remembered the names of the streets and knew how to move very well.

He still remembered how the city had overwhelmed him the first time he'd seen it on his journey with Garp from Dadan's, but now it was part of his day to day. He got off the train and walked a few streets to his home.

As soon as he opened the door, he felt stomping footsteps approaching him and Ace leaned down to catch Luffy before he tripped over his own feet.

" _Dad!"_ He heard him blurt out happily and laughed.

"Hello Luffy," he greeted his son, hugging him, and lifted him up in his arms. His clothes were stained with dirt. "Were you playing in the garden?"

Somehow he understood that his son was saying yes and walked until he met Rosinante, who came with Law and they were also dirty.

"The kids were playing while I watered the plants," Rosi explained after Ace asked him what had happened.

The backyard was large, with a large green space and several flower beds. It was a place where the children had fun and even taught Luffy to walk, who had hit himself a thousand times but nothing serious.

"He wanted to eat dirt," Law said, looking at Luffy and that explained why his whole face was dirty. The little boy laughed as if he understood that his mischief had just been reported.

"Luffy, don't do that," Ace spoke, but he really wasn't scolding him. "Then your stomach will hurt and you will get sick over the whole bed."

His son only laughed more at how he spoke to him and Ace sighed. He wasn't really angry, he even thought it was kind of funny.

He brought Luffy into the bedroom so he could bathe him. It wasn't something the boy was excited about, but he did like to play in the bathtub with his toys. He had a robot —which was a water robot when he went to the tub— a mermaid he got from a Kinder egg and also animals that he assumed came as a prize in more chocolate.

He filled the bathtub and felt Luffy stirring restlessly on his arm, complaining.

 _"Mik!"_ The demanding boy snapped, tugging on his shirt, and Ace sighed.

"After the bath," he said. "You won't have milk until you wash that dirty mouth."

The whimsical brat pouted, about to cry as he demanded food. Ace was not going to budge.

"Look," he said, taking the robot, a toy that was always in the bathroom for those moments, "don't you want to accompany the robot and the little mermaid to swim? They have to rescue the puppies so they don't drown."

He immediately threw the other toys into the water and started making a theater to distract his son. Luffy looked at him attentively and amazed. In that instant, he knew he got him and made him forge the food, at least for an instant.

Something he learned in that time was that talking to his son was essential. Ace talked a lot with Luffy, even if he didn't answer at first or only made noises. He talked to him, told him stories, or even made up dramas to get him into the water without protest. He could tell that his son understood everything he was saying, or maybe Ace was already crazy.

He took off the boy's clothes and put him in the water. Luffy sat there while playing with his robot and Ace took care of washing the dirt that was left of his games. It wasn't the first time it happened, Luffy loved getting dirty.

The adventures of the mermaid and the robot continued until the bath ended.

He wrapped Luffy in a very warm robe that even had a hood and hugged him against his body. The boy clung to him and snuggled against the space in his neck. Luffy's small nose was cold and wet, so much so that it made him shiver when he felt him seek warmth against him.

They returned to the room and his son reminded him again that he had not given him his milk. The boy had a very good memory when it came to food. Ace knew he owed him, after all, he was good in the bathroom.

They sat on the bed and lifted his T-shirt to show the boy his chest, who immediately clasped his hands and brought his mouth up to drink without Ace having to help him too much.

He brushed a few strands of black hair from his son's forehead as he watched him eat. He looked so calm that Ace wondered why he couldn't be like this forever. Luffy was an earthquake, just the opposite of Law, but it wasn't too bad either, just that Ace sometimes lost his patience a bit and didn't want the goofy kid to get hurt.

Now he looked so peaceful with his narrowed eyes as he drank his long-awaited milk that even Ace felt very relaxed. He no longer suffered like in the first times where his body seemed to be raw when Luffy was just born. One layer of his skin was gone in the whole process of birthing Luffy but he was already creating another, one that would adapt to the contact with his baby.

At some point, he realized that Luffy was no longer drinking and had fallen asleep. Many times it happened that he fell asleep over him and he found that funny. He pushed the boy away to lay him on the bed and lay down beside him. Ace covered himself with a blanket and also covered Luffy to hug him later. He was very warm, he never stopped being warm since he was born. He was still small, too, although he had grown a lot. He could still hold him tight against his body and that boy would fit him like the first time he had him in his arms.

At least in those moments, where he only enjoyed the warmth of his baby, it didn't matter how his body looked or how he felt. Ace found himself sleeping very comfortably in those moments, although he would always wake up if Luffy moved fearing that he would fall. It would not be the first time that happened to him.

**.**

**.**

**.**

That day it was raining a lot. The whole sky was cloudy and there was wind strong as a hurricane. Luckily, it was Sunday and nobody had to leave home. The children could not play outside, but it was not a problem. Luffy was lying on the carpet with all his colorful toys, although what he did most was bring them to his mouth.

Ace had dropped to the ground to play with him and entertain himself. His baby laughed with each of his antics and Ace also tried to teach him more words. He was almost a year and a half old, for being so young Luffy had a very good diction, although his language consisted of babbling and terms that formed different words. It was easy to understand him, but perhaps it was because Ace spent the whole day with him and was already used to his language.

He tried to show him the colors of the toys and Luffy repeated in his own way the words, or the sounds he heard. Ace congratulated him and his boy was laughing excitedly. So they followed up with more words and goals.

"Who am I?" He asked the boy.

"Dad!" He shouted excitedly.

"Very good! And where is grandpa?" At his new question, Luffy turned to see Garp sitting not far from him in the chair in front of the television. "Perfect, Luffy. And Grandpa Sengoku?"

The boy had to try a little harder because Sengoku was in the kitchen, but he came in instantly and Luffy pointed at him very excited.

"Grand-pa" he said, separating the syllables for his child to imitate, and got a sound like 'anpa', quite well. "A-ce."

"Su". Well, to his baby his name sounded like 'su', it could be worse.

"Portgas D. Ace." Perhaps it was a somewhat difficult suggestion, but he had been told that he had to speak to him in complex words as well in order for the boy to expand his vocabulary. "Portgas D. Luffy."

The boy laughed at the feeling of being named, but his last name ended up being something like 'Pogaí' or Ace understood something along those lines. With a little more practice he could do it well. He didn't correct him at any time. Luffy would learn at his own pace.

"And the cousin?" Luffy's eyes flashed. They were huge and dark as coffee, very pretty. "Law, how do you say it?"

Luffy said something similar to 'o' and Ace nodded very happily hearing him.

"Trafalgar Law."

"Te ... Te ... To ... _Toao_."

Ace laughed a lot when he heard him twist his full name and the boy seemed to like it because he repeated it causing laughter in everyone except Law, who seemed embarrassed. It was worse because Luffy started saying 'Toao' all the time to call him.

The weather didn't improve and the gray day continued to cover every corner, forcing them to turn on the lights as if it were night, but it was not past four in the afternoon. Luffy got tired of playing with him and went to disturb the other members of the family. That was good, it gave him a chance to do other things.

His room was a mess and Ace didn't understand why it was always that way since he cared about keeping it tidy. Luffy seemed to have the ability to get everything around him out of control, but he supposed that was what children were like. He started cleaning and took out all the things that were lying around. His son was still sleeping with him in the bedroom, but Garp commented that he should have his own room when he grows older.

The old men had suggested that they could make some modifications in the house so that the boy could have his own room, but he could also share with Law. He didn't seem very convinced to share his space with a toddler, who was already quite unruly, and the expression that Cousin _Toao_ put on was funny. Ace believed that it would be best to make him his own room even if it was really expensive, but it could start small. Luffy was still young and didn't seem very willing to detach himself from him for too long.

He heard him cry suddenly and tensed up. It was a loud, quick yell, which didn't last long, but long enough for Ace to hear. He didn't move, however. He just listened carefully as one of the old men comforted the boy. It didn't seem serious from the way they spoke to him. Surely he hit himself or cried because he had become infatuated with something.

He didn't want to run away every time he heard him cry. Ace trusted his family, knew that they could take care of Luffy and solve any problems he had. Controlling those impulses was difficult at first because raising the baby had disrupted him a lot and still made him tense, but he felt he could handle it much better.

Several times Luffy's cries were to get attention or to get others to indulge him. He was a somewhat manipulative dwarf, but perhaps it was everyone's fault for spoiling him a little. He was a good kid anyway, and he listened to him, or so Ace wanted to believe.

He finished cleaning his room, made the bed, and even cleaned the furniture. It was a very productive moment. He didn't even know what the crib was there for, because Luffy didn't like it and used it very rarely. The brat liked his bed, where he could stretch out and take up as much space as he wanted. Ace many times, when they slept together, ended up in a corner while his baby took up three quarters of the bed. Maybe it was because Luffy was approaching him looking for heat during the night and Ace, for fear of crushing him, moved away without realizing it.

He decided to try studying a little, maybe he could concentrate, but it was useless. He sat at the desk in his room, but every word he read instantly vanished from his brain.

His head revolved around a million banal topics and some a little more far-reaching. He thought of himself, of his life, of his son, and considered that perhaps it was a good time to do something about it.

Instantly, Rosinante entered with Luffy in his arms. The boy had been eating bread.

"I was making coffee," he said, "and we came to ask you if you want some."

Luffy mumbled something, but he didn't understand him because of the bread he kept sucking and nibbling on. Ace nodded while laughing.

"I would like that," he answered, stretching. "Already hungry?"

"He bothered Law for a while with the bread until he decided to eat it."

He laughed out loud at that. Law hated bread a lot, but Luffy loved it, although he actually loved all the food or at least in that instant he didn't remember something he didn't like.

"Bothering your cousin is wrong, Luffy."

The boy blinked as if he had just found out he did something wrong and couldn't quite figure out what. He stretched his arms out to Ace for him to take him. Whenever Luffy felt that he had made a mistake, he sought to hug him, as if that would solve things or managed to chase away Ace's anger with pampering, although sometimes it worked a little. He was not the only victim of his manipulations, the brat had everyone in the house in his hands, but at least Ace realized his tricks and tried not to always let him get away with it.

At that moment, he accepted the hug and held him against his body. The boy hugged his neck but never let the bread fall from his mouth.

Ace got up ready to go to the kitchen with Rosi and his son. In the end he couldn't study anything, but he didn't think he could either if his head was elsewhere.

"I was thinking of talking to Ivan," he said to Rosi as they walked. "I want him to explain to me all that about treatments and hormones again."

Corazón seemed surprised by his words and smiled at him. It made him happy to see Ace so much more _stable_ or at least not so defensive about those issues. Since he started taking care of Luffy, little by little he took a more adult posture. Despite being only sixteen years old, being also a child, he spoke with confidence and the depressive veil that previously covered him seemed to have been gradually dissipating.

The therapy and a support group had been essential so that he could raise his head a little from that hole into which he had fallen. There was still a long way to go, but he was already taking the first steps.

"That's great," he said encouragingly. "Do you want me to accompany you?"

" _Wan to,_ " Luffy said, removing the bread from his mouth, of which only a small piece remained. " _Ivachan, wan to see er_."

Ace laughed and nodded. During that year, he visited Ivan a few times. Especially when he went to the clinic to do the checks on his baby and stopped by his office to say hello. Luffy was very fond of him.

As much as it was a serious topic they had to talk about, Ace didn't feel tense and could handle the topic much better than the first time he went to a consultation with Ivan. However, he still considered that he still had a lot to learn and there were several things that he didn't understand, but he was much more willing to listen than before.


	18. Chapter 18

Something Ace always knew is that parenting was a problem. Since he started taking care of Luffy, he had many good and distressing moments. Several times he had been nervous when his baby of just a couple of months had a fever because his teeth were coming out or when he had some accident when he started walking.

Luffy was already 3 years old and his growth was like that of any boy his age, but sometimes he had too much energy and Ace couldn't keep up with him. His son was no longer just walking, he was running and it was impossible for him to stay still.

This time, they had to go to the hospital on a Friday at ten at night because of a problem. Luffy had fallen while trying to scale the TV cabinet and now a doctor was treating him. Apparently he would have a scar under his eye. The boy cried a lot and Ace was scared to see him bleeding. However, Luffy was calmer after the doctor healed him.

"I was just playing Spiderman," the boy explained to the doctor who helped them that night, "but the spiderweb failed me."

The man laughed upon hearing the boy as he finished treating his wound and stroked his head. Ace was embarrassed by what his son said. In his defense, that disaster happened in a second where he was in the bathroom. It was only an instant when that little monkey made a ruckus without anyone seeing it.

Luckily, he already knew how wild Luffy was and he wasted no time going to the ER.

"I think someone else should take care of the city," said the doctor. "Spiderman will have to take a rest."

Luffy crossed his arms in disgust but said nothing. At three years old, he was a charming and very easy to understand child. Ace was still amazed every time he saw him chatting fluently with people.

"Will the superhero be alright?" He asked, feeling more relaxed.

"He may have a little mark, but it won't be anything serious."

"Thanks, uhm..."

"Marco."

"Right..."

He was so nervous that he had forgotten the name of the doctor, but the doctor gave him a quiet smile and Ace thanked him. Probably, if it weren't for the gown he was wearing, he wouldn't have thought he was a doctor with that blond mohawk. Still, he seemed like a calm person and took good care of his son.

He covered Luffy's wound and asked if they were up-to-date on vaccinations, in addition to the boy's other issues.

"You can go home now," Marco smiled at Luffy, then looked at Ace. "You will have to wash his wound and apply an ointment so it doesn't leave a scar, but I can't give you any guarantees."

He didn't care about that, as long as he didn't lose his eye they could deal with a scar on his cheek.

"Thank you, Doctor Pineapple," Luffy said and stretched out his arms for his dad to carry him. Ace looked elsewhere, not knowing how to apologize. "Won't we go see Iva-chan?"

"Ivankov?"

"Yes, she's my godmother," Luffy replied looking at the _pineapple doctor_ and Ace smiled nervously.

"Actually he's my doctor," he said, then looked at his son. "He's not here because it is late, another day we can pay him a visit."

Luffy seemed unhappy, but said nothing. He just hugged his dad and hid his face in his neck.

"He's a great person," Marco mentioned, folding his arms. "What's your name?"

"Ace."

"So take good care of Spiderman, Ace. If anything happens you can come see me."

That doctor's smile rubbed off on him and he thanked him. The truth is that when he arrived with Luffy bleeding he felt desperate. He had put a towel on his face and went out. Garp had taken them in his car and they argued on the road as his baby's crying made his head explode. They blamed each other until they reached the ER and Ace entered with the boy while Garp waited in the waiting room.

Luckily, they took care of it very quickly and it was solved well. What worried him most was that he had hurt his eye or broken something, but it was nothing serious.

Luffy said goodbye saying " _Goodbye, pineapple_ " and Ace wanted to kill him at that time. His boy was like that anyway. He made up nicknames for people because he couldn't remember names. Law was one of those affected, who was Torao since Luffy learned to speak. Now he pronounced the words very well, although sometimes they were difficult, his sentences were more complex and he had long conversations.

They didn't fight Garp again when they came back. At least they were both satisfied that Luffy was fine, but Ace was upset that the old man always got into his way of looking after Luffy. He was his son and Ace was the one who made the decisions regarding him. Sometimes it was torture to agree with that authoritarian old man.

When they returned to their house, Luffy behaved like nothing had happened and waited for Ace to serve his dinner. He didn't cry again or complained about his injury.

At bedtime, Ace had already brushed his teeth and was ready to go to bed, but his pup appeared. Luffy asked if he could sleep there and he let him. As much as the child now had his own room, sometimes they kept sharing bedtime.

"We saw a movie with Torao," Luffy said as Ace stretched out the covers to cover them both. "Where the mother turned into a bear, but I don't know what happened because I fell asleep."

Ace laughed at this and propped one elbow on the pillow to stay up as he talked to his son.

"Tomorrow you can watch the rest."

"Yes! I want to know if she stopped being a bear."

Then he'd have to find out what movie that was, maybe a Disney movie or something.

"Dad," Luffy called to him and Ace made a sound to show that he heard. "I don't have a mom?"

Something inside him froze upon hearing that question. It was inevitable that it would happen. Wasn't Luffy too young to ask? He didn't know, but he wouldn't lie to him either.

"No..." he murmured, thinking what else to say. "You have me, why are you asking?"

"It's just that Torao told me that he had mom and dad, but that Uncle Cora-san adopted him when he was alone," Luffy explained. "Did you adopt me too?"

That question made him frown in amazement. It was logical that he should think so. Rosinante was a single father just like Ace and perhaps he could imagine that they were in a similar situation, although it was not.

"No, Luffy," Ace denied, trying to speak softly to him. "Rosi did adopt Law, but I had you."

"How?"

Shit. Ace was not prepared to explain this, but he had to.

"Well..." he mused, trying to find the words. "I carried you in my body. There are some people who have bodies where they can carry babies."

"In your body?!" He snapped, completely amazed.

"Yes," he agreed. "I had you here in my belly and then you went out, you were very small."

"So I only have a dad because I came out of your body?"

"Mmm... no." Ace bit his lip and thought what to say. "To make babies there have to be two people. To make you, I... Ehm... I mean you also have another dad. Not a mom and a dad, but two dads."

Damn, this was a disaster. He should have taken more time to think about it. A few times he pondered whether or not to tell Luffy about his other father, but he never thought about it very carefully. He didn't want to hide Sabo's existence from him, however. Luffy was not born from a cabbage, they both had made him.

He looked expectantly at the boy's gestures and found him excited by his discovery, which squeezed his heart.

"Really?" He asked in amazement and Ace nodded. "Do I have another dad? And where is he?"

"He lives somewhere else."

"Can't I meet him?"

"Maybe when you grow up," Ace said uncertainly. He couldn't promise him anything about it. "For now you have only me."

Luffy smiled when he said that and walked over to hug him.

"I like being with Dad."

Ace bit his lips when he heard him mutter that and wrapped his arms around the boy. He wanted to apologize for not telling him more, but Ace didn't feel ready to open the box of memories in his mind that bore Sabo's name.

He knew his son would settle for now, but when he grew up he was going to ask more questions. He didn't know what he was going to say exactly, but he would think about it later.

He stroked his son's soft black hair as he felt him breathe easy. Luffy fell asleep and Ace thought about how warm he was. He sighed exhausted and also decided to sleep. He dreamed of Sabo, of Luffy and of all those things that he didn't want to think about, that he forced himself to forget and resurfaced when he least expected it. It was torture to see how Luffy grew a little more every day and reminded him of that important person from his childhood. It hurt, but at the same time he found him completely beautiful. Maybe he should talk about it in therapy, but for now he'd sleep hugging his baby.

**.**

**.**

**.**

After three years taking care of Luffy, Ace learned many things. He enjoyed and suffered. His child was already big, he had seen him grow and it seemed that time passed very quickly. His son depended on him, but he was a complete individual. For many things Luffy didn't need him anymore and, like every boy his age, he started going to kindergarten. That would be his first year and Ace was very nervous.

That day it was hard for him to wake up early and even more for Luffy to get up.

Mornings were always torture. He wasn't made for getting up early and the little dwarf wasn't either, but they had to. With all the weight of the world on his shoulders, Ace rose from the warm bed to turn off his alarm and ran his hands over his face to try to wake up.

Luffy hadn't even stopped snoring. He looked at the small earthquake beside him and smiled. He was stretched out to either side and drooled the pillow, nothing out of the ordinary. Ace got up to go to the bathroom. He would let the dwarf sleep a little longer while he got ready. A shower helped a lot to take away his sleep. In recent times, his narcolepsy had been fairly controlled, which he shouldn't neglect while caring for a child.

He remembered that he must also study that day. He would finish high school soon, and he had to think about what he would do next. Maybe he would study chemistry, he always liked that. Rosi had also said that he could help him find a job if he preferred that, but Ace hadn't decided yet.

In either case, he should leave his home and have contact with other people. Until now, his only outings were to therapy or to the doctor. He had gotten used to that rhythm a bit, but he knew he couldn't live like this forever. He had to advance and evolve, mature. He wouldn't live forever with the old men and Rosi. Maybe he could move out with Luffy at some point, but first he needed some kind of livelihood.

Thinking this way would have been a problem two years ago. At the time, Ace couldn't imagine sharing a workspace or classroom with strangers, mainly because of his appearance. When he lived with Dadan and had to go to school he had a terrible time, he didn't want to relive that again. How would Dadan be? He should go visit her soon and also bring Luffy so she could meet him.

Anyway, he was no longer so afraid of what people would think of him. His confidence had risen thanks to the treatment he started with Ivan a year ago.

To be honest, before starting it, Ace was scared by how his body would react to hormones. He had read many things on the Internet and also understood that each body was different. Ivan said they would go slowly and it would be very progressive.

A year later, he could appreciate the changes, like his voice. He always had a serious tone when speaking, but he realized that it had become accentuated. Also the shapes of his body changed. Now he had much more muscle mass. His hip was not as prominent and his features were sharper.

The best was when he realized that people no longer confused him on the street as before and that made him notice that it worked.

He also had some weird reactions, like acne at first and a lot of hair that he didn't have on his body before, but he shaved regularly.

Something Ivan suggested was that he should start exercising, because he would gain weight and training would help him shape himself. That helped a lot. He never imagined having muscles, but he liked it. Even his back was wider, his arms sculpted, and his abdomen marked. Not that much though. If anything was clear to Ace when he started the treatment it was that he did it to reduce the features with which he was not satisfied. His appearance became more _ambiguous_ and that pleased him. He didn't feel it looked bad.

The chest was still there, but still. Ivan taught him that people, trans guys like him, used binders to hide that part of the body. They worked well, but he only used them for a couple of hours a day because they were so tight.

Those changes had been very significant so that, at this moment, when he saw himself in the mirror, he did not feel dissatisfied with the image of himself. It had helped him build his self-esteem. He was still working on it and going to therapy, but he had made a very important change.

As soon as he came out of the bathroom he dressed to go to make breakfast. The old men were already gone by that time and he met Rosinante in the kitchen. He was already having breakfast together with Law and Ace greeted them while preparing something for him and his son. He didn't like coffee too much, but with plenty of milk wasn't bad, so he made one and heated milk for Luffy.

"Today is your big day, too, Law," Ace commented as he whipped up his coffee. "You will start second grade and see your friends."

The boy was not very excited.

"They are my subordinates," he corrected.

Ace didn't understand what he meant by that and neither did Corazon. Maybe it was some kind of game or code between children. Luffy probably would start having that too when he made friends at school.

He remembered that he had to wake him up soon, so he went to the room and the brat was still in the same position he left him in.

He leaned close to him, sitting on the bed.

"Luffy," he called to the boy, moving him. "It is time to wake up."

" _Mmmh .. no..._ " the boy mumbled squeezing his eyes, turning to ignore his father, which made him laugh.

"Oh well," Ace sighed. "If you don't get up you won't eat breakfast."

The smile on his lips grew as he saw those pretty big eyes look at him hopefully.

"Breakfast?" He repeated, and Ace nodded. Still, he kept protesting, hugging his dad. "I'm sleepy... but I want breakfast."

A laugh left his lips at the boy's dilemma. So he took him in his arms and let Luffy hug him like a koala, hiding his face in his neck. It was already a big step to wake him up. Luffy didn't like getting up early either.

He walked to the kitchen with the boy holding him tightly, not wanting to get rid of the idea of sleeping a little longer, but he didn't want to miss breakfast either. He was so sleepy that he didn't even greet the other people there. With one hand, Ace continued to prepare breakfast, because with the other he had to hold the brat, who was not really that heavy or maybe he was already used to carrying him, it could even be because he was now stronger from his training. He poured the hot milk with a little chocolate and it was hard for him to get the boy out of his body to sit him on the table. After he ate and was more awake, he could dress him up, Luffy wouldn't work if he didn't have some food first.

"Torao!" Luffy spat happily when he realized he was next to his cousin and seemed to finally notice Rosinante's presence. "Uncle!"

The adult greeted him and Luffy scratched his eyes as he yawned. He was not awake yet, but almost there. Ace couldn't believe he had to go through this every day.

They ate some cookies, toast, and shared some fruit.

"Are you happy to go to kindergarten, Luffy?" Rosinante asked as he watched the boy dip cookies in his milk.

"Mmm yes," he said almost by inertia. "Can I be with Torao?"

Ace smiled hearing him say that and felt Law sigh. Luffy loved his cousin very much and always wanted to go with him everywhere. The other boy seemed bothered, but he accepted Luffy's company more than he admitted.

"No, Luffy," Rosi replied. "Law is older, so he goes to another class."

"Oh, but I want to go with him," he mentioned, pouting.

"You'll see when you get out."

That seemed to be enough for the boy's spirits to rise again. They finished breakfast and went to brush their teeth.

"I do it alone!" Luffy announced, reaching for his brush.

He laughed and nodded, putting some paste on the brush. Luffy was very small and could not see himself in the mirror, so Ace had to pick him up. Maybe he could get some small stool.

"Brush the back of your teeth well," he reminded his distracted boy and showed him how to do it to avoid cavities. "And then on the front so you don't have yellow teeth."

Luffy giggled with his whole mouth white because of the toothpaste and followed his directions. Ace didn't know when the time to brush his teeth had become an imitation game, but Luffy was giving his all to do it like him and it was fun. He helped him rinse off and wiped his face with a towel.

"Can I put my dinosaur shirt on?" The boy asked when they returned to the room.

He remembered the garment Luffy was talking about. A black t-shirt with a gray watercolor drawing of a dinosaur skeleton playing an electric guitar. He wasn't sure where they got that, but his son was fascinated by it. The weirder, the more he liked it.

"You must wear the uniform," he replied, and almost laughed at the sight of his boy's frown.

Luffy sat on the bed while Ace searched for the clothes. He waited patiently for him to return with his clothes and tried to dress himself, but that still didn't work out very well and he needed help from his dad. He was quite independent despite being this small and always wanted to try doing things by himself, as if it were an adventure. Ace took advantage of that curiosity and taught him that, before leaving, he should wash his face and hands, which the boy adopted as a habit. He adjusted his hair a little, which was scattered to either side. He still couldn't get him to want to comb his hair.

He looked for Luffy's uniform, which consisted of short green pants —because it was still hot— and a white T-shirt. Law also dressed in the same colors.

After he finished dressing the boy, he took his things. He checked if he had the keys, wallet, cell phone; when he thought he was ready he discovered that Luffy had fallen asleep again in the middle of the bed.

He sighed in frustration because he wanted to throw himself there as well, but he came to take him in his arms to leave.

They went with Rosinante to take the children. The school was monstrous. It spanned four full blocks and had two buildings: one for the kindergarten children and another much larger one for elementary and high school. He saw many people with his children and that shocked him. They had to separate from Rosi and Law because he had to go to the other building, but he felt that they would be fine.

He led Luffy by the hand walking and admired that great place. It had a lot of green space with trees, it reminded him a little of the college campuses from the movies, but less _dreamy_. It also seemed to have a great sports field. Rosi said it was a good school and Luffy would have a good time there, he hoped for him to be right.

The school Ace went to was not a quarter of that place. Still, he had plenty of open country and forest to go around when he went out. His memories of that school time were not very good and all he wanted was for Luffy not to go through those things. He would be fine. He was a charming boy and he was sure to make friends easily.

He looked sideways at him as they walked. Luffy looked curiously at all the children there and Ace felt his hand squeeze.

They were together during the opening act where they were welcomed and Ace easily found Luffy's teacher Viola.

"Are you ready, Luffy?" He asked when he knew it was time to say goodbye. "You have to go with Miss Viola."

The boy looked at him in surprise, as if he didn't quite understand what he meant.

"Won't you stay?" He said, in a pout that almost broke his heart.

"No, parents don't stay," he replied, leaning next to him. "You will be with her and other children with whom you are going to play."

He smiled to give him confidence, but he almost broke when he felt that Luffy didn't like what he said and feared that he wouldn't want to go. However, it was not the case.

"Alright..." the boy muttered, not very convinced. "Will you wait for me outside until I get out?"

He blinked in confusion at that request, but nodded. Perhaps Luffy was afraid of parting with him and wanted to make sure he was close. He hugged him before leaving and enjoyed the warmth of his baby for a few more moments.

Ace left and came back to look for Luffy five minutes earlier so that the boy would think that he stayed there waiting all those hours. He had a good time and told him all the things he did, the games, the friends he made and the things that Miss Viola taught him. On the third day, Luffy told him that it was no longer necessary for him to wait outside.

How fast he grew up. Ace was homesick but also very proud that his little monster was turning into such a splendid and luminous creature.


	19. Chapter 19

"Do you need help, boy?" Asked a man who had been traveling with him and Ace turned to see him. Inadvertently he had stared a second longer at the man, as if trying to confirm that he was really talking to him, but that was just a bad habit.

"I'm okay," he replied with a smile. "I used to live here."

Despite his confidence, that had been some time ago. This was the first time Ace had returned to his childhood town in those nearly five years he left, and he didn't return alone.

With one arm, he held his little four-year-old son, who was sleeping very peacefully with his head on his shoulder, and with the other tried to carry his luggage. It was only a small suitcase, he didn't plan to stay long. The bus ride was long, but Luffy had entertained himself by playing and chatting with the passengers.

"He fell asleep soundly," said the man's wife, who had been talking to Luffy on the trip.

"Later he'll wake up screaming he's hungry," he said with some regret and the woman laughed saying that was the way the children were.

He said goodbye to the couple and walked to find a taxi. Even if the place was not as big as the city, it had these amenities. The driver helped him carry his suitcase and he got into the car. Luffy continued snoring and hugging him without noticing anything.

He was surprised to notice how everything seemed so much bigger and modernized than when he lived there. However, Ace had fond memories of his adventures on those streets and in the woods near his home. Would the tree house he built still stand there? Most likely, it has fallen. He sighed thinking that many things had changed in his life since that moment and one of them did nothing but curl up on his neck to look for heat. Ace changed the arm he was holding Luffy with because it was already cramping and covered him a bit more with the blanket he was wrapped in. The trip made Luffy very tired, but he didn't want him to sleep too much or later at night he wouldn't leave him alone.

At the time, he thought that maybe he should have looked for a hotel or something to stay in, though he wanted to go say hello first and then think about it.

 _'Are you really going?'_ Garp had asked him when he told him of his intentions and assured him that Dadan most likely still lived in the same place. What would she say when she saw him? He swallowed, not being able to really imagine it.

Upon arrival, he paid however he could because of the child in his arms and got off with his luggage in front of the house of the woman who raised him until he was fourteen.

He swallowed as he walked until he knocked on the door and waited with a sigh, he was finally there.

"Who is it?" They said on the other side and Ace thought he could recognize the voice. "We are not interested in buying anything..."

The eyes of the woman who opened the door locked on him and he felt too nervous. What should he say now? The words just didn't come out.

"Ace?" Dadan murmured with a smoking cigarette in her mouth.

"Hello..." he answered, trying to smile.

Before they could say anything else, behind her appeared Dogra and Magra, who were just as surprised to see him.

"ACE?!" They both shouted at the same time and he tensed up as he felt so watched.

"It's been a while," he said, looking at them, waiting for them to come out of their amazement and say something else.

"Ha, what happened? Did you kill old Garp and are you running away?" Dadan said proudly as ever.

"You wish, old lady," Ace sighed. "I came to visit, I wanted to know how you were doing and... I wanted you to meet someone."

At that time, the three noticed that Ace was carrying something in his arms covered by a yellow blanket with drawings of quite childish bears. Dadan blinked at the thought of this and stepped closer noticing that Ace was holding a small child in his arms.

"Ah? And that boy?" Dogra asked in amazement as did everyone else, and Dadan put a hand on her chin analyzing the situation.

"It better not be another brat Garp wants me to take care of," she said, and Ace laughed at that comment.

"Not really, I take care of him," he replied, leaving them even more confused. "He's my son."

Ace counted exactly 4 seconds before they finished processing the information.

"WHAT!?" All three yelled at the same time. "SON?!"

He frowned at the screams, which were loud enough to wake Luffy up, though the dwarf was a pretty heavy sleeper just like him. He raised his head and rubbed his eyes disoriented.

" _Mmh..."_ he muttered sleepily and the first thing he saw was his dad. "Hungry..."

He tried to smile at the boy and knew that it would inevitably happen. Luffy always wanted to eat as soon as he woke up or at all times actually.

"Can we talk inside?" He asked looking at Dadan, who was still in complete shock but his words made her react.

Magra helped him put his suitcase inside the house and Luffy was more awake observing everything around him. The place was almost as Ace remembered it, but with some modifications and different furniture. The boy hugged Ace closer when he felt fearful about this new place and the people he didn't know.

"Luffy," he called to the little boy for attention. "They are Dadan, Dogra and Magra."

"Hello," said the boy, raising his hand, and the other three answered the greeting in the same way, looking at him as if he were some kind of alien.

When they got out of their shock, Dadan looked at Ace expecting him to give her an explanation, but he didn't really want that moment to come, which was inevitable. Luckily, Dogra told them to get comfortable, because they were surely tired from the trip. He was very grateful for that and took the opportunity to sit on the armchair in the living room leaving Luffy at his side. Ace removed his backpack from his back to look there for a package of vanilla cookies that had already been started and handed it to Luffy who was very happy to receive it.

"Do you want something to drink?" Magra asked along with Dogra.

"Water," Ace replied.

"Chocolate milk!"

Luffy's answer brought out a smile and he heard Dadan laugh as she continued to smoke.

"Don't you want to accompany them? So you make sure they put a lot of chocolate in," Ace suggested, and the boy seemed to think about it for a moment, so he took a small white, already a bit dirty, stuffed toy in the shape of a dog out of the backpack. "You can go with Shushu."

"Okay," Luffy agreed, going into the kitchen with his package of cookies and his stuffed animal. "I want a lot of chocolate!"

He stood for a moment watching his boy head to the kitchen and could clearly see him from his position in the living room. Luffy was very prone to disaster, but he didn't think anything bad would happen.

For her part, Dadan continued to watch him closely. She raised that boy since he was a larva, fed him, cared for him; It was like feeling that her son had just returned home, but she was also a woman who didn't like sentimentality. However, she had to admit that this unexpected visit warmed her heart. The last time she saw that brat he was a completely broken crying wreck. Now he seemed much more whole, including that surprise he brought with him.

"I wasn't expecting you to come back like this, Ace," Dadan commented, drawing his attention and he tensed.

"It was... complicated," he confessed with a sigh. "I had just returned from Spain when I found out about... him."

"And how did Garp take it?" She asked, imagining his reaction.

"Not very well because I wasn't even fifteen, too young to have a child, but I think it didn't go so badly."

He heard a sound coming from the kitchen of something falling to the floor and Luffy's shrill laugh. He hoped he wasn't making a mess.

"You're too young, Ace, it's true," agreed the woman, taking the cigarette from her mouth to crush it in the ashtray she had on a small table in front of her, "but if that's the way you chose, nobody can criticize you."

Ace appreciated that understanding and really didn't expect her to judge him. She had always raised him very freely. He chose to have Luffy, it had been his decision, no one else's. Thanks to that freedom with which Dadan raised him, Ace didn't have as much trouble accepting himself —at least inside his own house— as he really was, because she always saw him that way. However, he understood that she might be a little confused now and knew that there was a question that would undoubtedly enter that conversation.

"And the father?" She finally said. "Or the mother..."

Ace swallowed, thinking he didn't want to talk about it, but it was inevitable. He also found it funny that she added 'the mother' when obviously that should be him.

"There isn't one," he said bluntly. "It's just me."

Dadan accepted that answer and said nothing more. If that was the case, there was nothing to talk about, but they both knew they were not saying everything and she had a very clear idea about what had happened, although she refrained from saying it.

Dogra and Magra returned with the boy instantly. They explained that they had thrown the jar of flour looking for the chocolate and Luffy said that it had been a lot of fun how they looked, that they looked like ghosts, but the boy had not gotten dirty.

The little boy sat down next to Ace again and enjoyed his chocolate milk and cookies leaving his stuffed toy aside. Dadan watched him carefully thinking that he looked a lot like Ace at that age, but some of the features on his face were different. Luffy felt watched and looked at her with those big, dark eyes, which were nothing like Ace's.

"How long do you plan to stay?" Dadan asked.

"We'll be back tomorrow," he replied. "Although I didn't look for any hotel... "

"And why do you want one?" She snapped. "You have your room here, you can sleep there."

Ace appreciated that detail and accepted it. It would not be the first time that he slept with Luffy in the same bed and on those cold nights the boy clung to him as if he were a leech looking for heat.

"We saw Sabo recently," Dogra said after he came from cleaning the kitchen and didn't notice at all how tense Ace got when he heard his name. "Apparently he also came to visit, he is huge, he asked us about you, but since we didn't know anything..."

"I'd rather you wouldn't tell him," Ace interrupted. "If you see him again..."

That attitude didn't go unnoticed by Dadan and she lit another cigarette.

"How funny, and to think that you were together all day."

He didn't say anything to the woman's comment, he just drank a little of the water they brought him and observed that Luffy had his whole face full of chocolate and crumbs.

"Sabo?" The curious boy repeated that name. "Who is him?"

"He's... a friend who lived around here, but he also moved."

"Ah," Luffy sighed in amazement and took what was probably his last cookie to dip it in the rest of his milk and complete the plaster on his face. "It is a funny name."

He didn't expect that answer, but he didn't question it. For Luffy that name didn't mean anything, instead for Ace it was a memory full of mixed feelings. He pushed that idea out of his mind and concentrated on continuing to talk to Dadan. She told him that her businesses were still going well and that things in the town were improving. After a while, Ace decided to go for a walk and Luffy was very excited to accompany him.

They walked through the streets and Luffy was running in front of him. Ace was distracted by seeing how there seemed to be many more houses and the dirt streets were now covered in asphalt. It was a great change. In five years many things could happen.

Luffy waited for him in a corner and took his gloved hand to cross the street. It was a little cold, even if it was sunny, and the boy was wearing a thick red coat, scarf and hat. Maybe he was overdoing it? Maybe, but he didn't want him to get sick. He could no longer have people to take care of his son at all times and the best thing was to prevent those kinds of inconveniences, although whenever he was slightly warm Luffy began to take off the clothes that bothered him.

As they passed the park that was in downtown, his little boy looked at the playground equipment with sparks in his eyes and Ace smiled at him saying he could go. Luffy laughed very happily and left him his stuffed puppy as he made his way up the slide.

Ace sat on a bench to watch his boy go up the slide ladder. There were some other children and people walking around, because the day was suitable for that. When he was a kid, that equipment wasn't there, Ace remembered that it was installed when he was a teenager and many times he had gone fooling around at night there. A smile formed on his lips as he remembered that and how silly he had been, but he did have a lot of fun.

A woman with a stroller passed by him, but paid no attention to him, until she stopped to see him.

"Ace?" She asked and he immediately recognized her.

"Makino!" He said cheerfully, and the woman smiled at him. "Long time no see."

"Same, you've grown a lot." She was amazed to see him standing and noted how tall he was. She had known him since he was little, so she was surprised. "I didn't know you were back."

"I came to see Dadan," he replied, shrugging his shoulders and then noticing the baby carriage she was carrying.

Makino stopped to show her little son that he was barely six months old and she seemed very happy taking the awake baby in her arms.

"We're going for a walk, aren't we, Dan? Say hello to Ace, honey," she said, hugging the boy and Ace smiled at her.

"Congratulations," he said, smiling at the boy. He never knew what to say in those moments, but was glad to see the baby smile. "I also didn't come alone."

Before he could explain to the woman what he was referring to, Luffy came running towards him very excited to show him something he was holding.

"Dad! Look look!" Said the boy bringing both hands together and opening them he showed him a very small rhinoceros beetle that surely was found in the grass. "There are many!"

"Wow, that's great, Luffy," he said, impressed and the boy smiled happily. He always liked to find different rare insects and especially beetles.

His son returned the little bug to the ground and Ace noticed Makino's surprised look on them. Before his boy returned to play, he stopped him so he could introduce him.

"She is Makino, a friend, and her baby," he explained to the boy, who had just noticed that there were other people there with them. "He is my son, Luffy."

"Hello!" He held up a hand to greet the woman, and after she got out of her amazement, she smiled at him.

"Nice to meet you, Luffy."

The moment was quite pleasant and unexpected. Luffy asked if he could accompany him to the playground and Makino stayed with his baby where Ace was previously sitting. She never thought she'd see Ace that way again. Makino remembered him as a good boy, mischievous and sometimes a bit rowdy, but also very sweet and kind. She had even taught him some manners several years ago, when she was still taller than Ace.

At what point did he grow so much? She remembered that boy in his teens. Rebel and a little more serious. Always alone. Always with Sabo...

Her baby made some noises in her lap and stretched out his hands as if he also wanted to go to the playground. Makino laughed and got up to carry him. He was still very small, but with her help and care she could sit him down in some of the equipment.

Luffy was a very kind and charismatic boy, she noticed it immediately. He went with her to play with Dan and talked to him about different things, which her baby seemed to listen carefully as if he understood. That friendly little gesture made her smile. Luffy accompanied them to the seesaw, both Ace and Makino hugging their respective sons, they helped them enjoy the game without hurting themselves. Her baby was still too young for that sort of thing, but he still laughed a lot and Makino also enjoyed that afternoon.

"I have to go open the bar," she explained, taking her son to the stroller again, who was already falling asleep after so much activity. "Would you like to go for a drink?"

Ace smiled looking at his boy who seemed excited by the idea.

"Sounds good," he agreed and walked along with Luffy following the woman, although he remembered the way very well.

Makino's bar still retained the same pleasant warmth. He sat down at the bar of the place and helped Luffy to get on a chair. Makino brought orange juice to the boy, who drank it all, showing that he was very thirsty.

"Delicious!" He snapped, leaving his glass empty and Makino laughed, taking it to serve him more.

"Do you want some sandwiches, Luffy?" The woman asked, and the boy's eyes flashed in agreement.

"You already won his heart," Ace said, totally sincere and sure of his words.

Makino brought a plate with a lot of sandwiches that Luffy immediately attacked and Ace also took some.

"You weren't much different," she reminded him. "You would also sit here to drink juice and eat."

"When I wanted a good meal," he agreed with a smile at the thought. "And you didn't want to sell me beer."

"How could I do that? You were a boy!"

Ace laughed, though he remembered that in the past he didn't like it when Makino said that to him.

"Although you always found a way to get away with it. You and Sabo." She sighed at the thought of that pair of children so difficult to deal with, but instantly noticed that Ace remained somewhat lost. "Ace?"

"Huh?" He muttered absently, looking at her again. "Sorry, I got lost in thought."

She twisted her mouth imagining what was around that boy's head. Years had passed, but Ace was very honest, so much so that anything that happened to him showed in his body language. That was how he was as a child and still remained the same.

Ace didn't mention anything for a long time where he only saw the glass of juice that she served him. Not even now, as an adult, did she give him some beer. Although he probably shouldn't drink if he had to take care of a child as restless as Luffy.

"They told me he was around recently," Ace said, resting his elbow on the wooden bar and resting his face on his hand. "Actually, when I was coming, I thought that maybe I would come across him, but... " He looked askance at Luffy, who was still busy eating and he took out some books and pencils to draw from the small panda-shaped backpack Luffy was carrying. "I don't think it's the best, there are many things that I would not know how to explain."

Makino watched him silently and nodded thinking how hard everything should have been for Ace. By his gesture, she could interpret that it had not been easy. Also, with Sabo they had a too close relationship and she imagined that it should not be easy to appear before him with all these changes. Although she supposed Sabo would understand and care more about his relationship with Ace, but that was none of her business.

Luffy distracted them by bringing his empty glass closer to Makino.

"Beer!" The boy said enthusiastically and laughed at them. She poured him more juice and he held out a piece of paper with a drawing on it. "These are all of us in the park."

Luffy began to explain the drawing to Makino, but Ace laughed softly because the drawing was pure shapeless doodles. Luffy was cute, but he didn't draw very well.

It was some time before people began to come to drink or prepare for dinner. Dadan also appeared unexpectedly but she said she suspected he would be there because, according to her, that was always one of Ace's favorite places to hide.

It was quite a fun trip and full of memories, some fun and some not so much. Luffy was very entertained with all those people who were part of his childhood. Although he also wanted to go there to close an unfinished stage and move on, Ace knew that there were certain things he could never forget. Some memories were present and very vivid in his head, especially every time he looked at his little boy's big, bright eyes.

**.**

**.**

**.**

As soon as they got back from the trip, Ace had to start putting away the things he carried. He was not a big fan of cleanliness and order, but with his little son it was impossible to have a neat room. He dressed in old, baggy clothes that already had holes because he knew he would get dirty in that process. He went by a mirror to tie his hair and thought that maybe he should cut it, it wasn't very long, but it was long enough to tie some strands in a small tail. He didn't really care, long ago the hair was no longer a trait of his masculinity.

His son's room was a mess and he sighed as he watched it. He was already tired and hadn't even started putting away Luffy's toys. The boy was now playing with his cousin in the garden. Ace could hear their laughter and screams from the room, but he didn't care. Law was eight years old, he was a responsible boy who knew he would take care of his little cousin.

When Luffy was a baby, he shared the room with Ace, but when he started growing up they built one more room for the boy. It was quite big with its bed, cabinets and a small desk. Luffy didn't use any of that, he just left everything lying on the floor and Ace was in charge of organizing his disaster. However, the little boy still liked to run away from his room to get into his father's room at bedtime and he didn't deny him that pleasure. He was not the only one who pampered Luffy in that house, his uncle Rosinante and the grandparents were also guilty of making him a capricious child.

Garp and Sengoku had been together since Ace had a memory, but he had only lived with them for almost five years. Rosinante had become a big brother and very supportive at that time, not to mention that he adored his child. They were a strange family, but it was their place. Ace couldn't complain, he was a trans person and a single father after all. He fit well there.

He wasn't sure how much time he spent cleaning and storing things, he only noticed that the sun fell when Rosinante entered the room. It must be too late if he had already returned from work.

"Cleaning day?" Rosi asked, watching him. "Aren't you going to the dinner party today?"

His face turned sour and he clutched his forehead remembering that annoying detail. Sengoku and Garp had held high titles in the police forces, but were already retired. Actually, they were still working, but on quieter things, like inspections or training recruits. Rosinante had also been a part of the force, but when he adopted Law he quit that job and began to run the business of his weird brother —Doflamingo had a lot of money and owned one of the biggest clothing brands—.

Ace recalled that today was a party to honor who-knows-who was leaving the police and the old man had insisted that he wanted Ace to go with Luffy. He remembered refusing, but it was also quite possible that he would have said yes at some moment of weakness. However, he had completely forgotten.

"I forgot, but I have to go," he sighed exhausted. He hadn't even bathed and he had no idea how presentable his son was. What a nuisance.

Rosinante noted how disturbed Ace was, so he moved closer to him.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing to the album Ace had in his hands. "Are those Law and Luffy?"

He nodded as he showed him the photo where he could see how a little four-year-old Law carried a sleeping baby Luffy. He had forgotten that he kept those photos in his son's room.

"How small they were." Rosinante sat next to him to see the photos. He remembered printing them some time ago, but sometimes he also forgot how fast children grew. "This is when we stood guard at the hospital until Luffy was born."

Ace laughed as he looked at the photo of Garp and Sengoku in the waiting room. Law was always awake, nervous, with Rosinante until they were told that everything went well. There were many details that Ace didn't want to remember from those moments because, although he was now happy with Luffy, back then it had been a rather dark time.

"Damn, I looked terrible," he said, looking at himself in a photo taken by surprise while holding his son. He could hardly recognize himself. His skinny arms to the bone were wired to different machines, the hospital gown made him look like a ghost along with dark circles and straw-black hair. "I don't want to go back there."

"You know what you have to do for that," Rosinante reminded him, and Ace blushed.

He had already learned about taking care of himself and contraception, but he was always reminded of it. Ivan gave him many talks about it.

The moment was interrupted by Luffy who entered dragging Law by the hand. They were both scruffy and covered in dirt.

"We were looking for treasures!" Luffy announced very pleased.

"I tried not to break the plants," Law said, looking at Rosinante, who laughed along with Ace.

Both children went everywhere together, or actually Luffy dragged his cousin wherever he wanted. Law was a good boy.

"We'd better get ready before the old man comes," Ace commented, rising from the floor to head towards Luffy and pick him up.

"I'm hungry, Dad," Luffy said, reaching out to wrap his arms around Ace's neck.

"When Grandpa comes, we'll go to a place with a lot of food."

"Really?" The boy's eyes glittered with excitement.

"Yes," he agreed, "but we have to bathe."

Luffy seemed a little hesitant, but eventually agreed. Ace took him to one of the bathrooms, because the house was big enough to have three, and he began to fill the bathtub to get the dirt out of his puppy.

"Shower with me, Dad," Luffy asked, and Ace thought about it for a moment.

It wasn't something he liked very much, showing himself without clothes —he didn't even go to the beach— but with Luffy he had no shame. No matter how small, he had always tried to explain the small differences they had and how a person's body can be. In the same way, teach him what parts were _private_ and that he shouldn't let someone touch him there. Ace had no idea how to do a lot of things as a parent, but he tried his best.

His son jumped into the water happy after he took off his clothes and Ace took a little longer. First he took off the shirt he was wearing and looked in the mirror for a moment. He looked at himself and remembered the photos he had just seen, he looked very different. That time had been pretty rough, he hardly ate and he only did it for Luffy, but he could barely get a bite down his throat. He shook his head, not wanting to remember that. He ran his fingers through his marked clavicles until he reached the binder that supported his chest. There wasn't much to hide anymore, but it made him feel comfortable wearing it.

He got rid of the rest of his clothes and walked to the tub where his son was splashing. He had always been really tall. The features of his face and the details of his body were lost between the thin binary line of what gender is. Ace noticed the look on people, the silent question of 'Is it a boy or a girl?' and before it bothered him a lot to have to endure it. Now he had overcome it enough, especially because he was surrounded by people who loved him, understood him and helped him every day to overcome his own insecurities. The body he had didn't define who he was, he remembered that which Ivan and Bon-chan repeated so much to him.

He sat in the hot water and steam filled the room. He washed Luffy's hair while the boy had fun playing with the white foam that fell from his head until it dissolved in the water. Soap and the gentle smell of coconut swept all the dirt from his son's treasure hunt. He also bathed to be presentable, although he had no interest in that great event. When he finished washing his own hair, he felt Luffy suddenly hug him.

"Daddy is soft," Luffy commented, holding onto him with a smile as he rubbed his face against Ace's shoulder.

Luffy never cared or questioned how he looked. As much as he had denied the body that touched him, he had learned to love him in those years. His son loved him just as he was, regardless of the minor physiological details or what was between his legs. He hugged that boy and wished he would never let go.

When they came out of the bathroom Luffy ran to his room wrapped in a towel while Ace had put on a robe. That crazy dwarf couldn't even wait for his hair to dry, as soon as he turned around Luffy escaped from his sight.

He heard Sengoku's voice and Garp's laugh, which meant they were already home. He wondered if he had any chance of not going to the party, but it was a little late and he didn't feel like making an excuse. When he entered his room, Luffy appeared with Garp. The boy ran in, waving the towel like a flag and showing his naked body.

"Are you planning to go like this, dwarf?" Ace asked him and Luffy just nodded happily. Garp laughed out loud.

"If it was up to me, that's fine, but you have to get dressed," said Grandpa. He was eating cookies and gave one to Luffy, Ace also accepted one. "When you are done we will go, it's kind of far away."

"Do I have to wear my fancy dress or can I go in jeans?" Ace asked wryly as he ate another cookie he stole from the package the old man was holding. He used to make those kinds of jokes now that he was a little more relaxed on the matter.

"Do your thing," Garp replied, stroking Luffy's hair before leaving. "You can also wear fancy, Luffy."

"I want to wear my hat," the boy informed his dad and he nodded.

He looked for clothes in the closet. He dressed his puppy in shorts and a red T-shirt. He knew that Luffy would run around the place and not be still, so he preferred him to be with something comfortable. Ace instead ended up donning a black jean that clung to his legs like a second skin, a looser gray T-shirt, and a black jacket over all of it. He finished tying his boot's shoe laces while Luffy searched for his straw hat that he liked so much.

He took the boy in his arms after pulling his slightly damp hair back. The trip would be long and they had to go alone with Garp while Rosinante was in another car with Sengoku and Law. Everything would be boring and silent if not for Luffy.

"I spy, I spy, with my little eye" said the boy to his dad. They had been playing that for 15 minutes.

"What do you spy?" Ace replied.

"Something... Mmm..." Luffy looked into the car looking for what it could be and then looked at his dad. "Gray."

Ace laughed. The child liked this game since he learned it and was quite entertaining, especially when they had to travel.

"This?" He said, pointing to his shirt, but Luffy denied. "The seats?" Again he said no. He had only one more try, so he thought hard of looking around him. "The steering wheel?"

"No, Dad," Luffy laughed, feeling like the winner of that little game. "Your eyes are gray."

"Oh yeah? I didn't remember," he confessed sincerely. He always forgot that detail.

"Yes," the boy agreed. "Mine are brown, like Grandpa's."

He said nothing to the occurrences of his son and Garp's laughter was lost in his ears. He would never tell his son that his dark and kind eyes were from someone else. For most of the day, Ace didn't think about him, but sometimes he had those little moments where memories invaded his mind and abstracted him to a world he thought he had left behind. He used to wonder how he would be or where, if he would have fulfilled his dreams or if he was happy, although that shouldn't worry him right now.

Luffy brought him back to reality reminding him that it was his turn to play. That boy was the one to worry about, not the ghosts of the past.

The party was very boring, but the food was good. That was something he and his son appreciated. Ace ignored the judging glances that were always there, but nobody told him anything because he was with 'important people.' That environment was so annoying. Everything looked very organized and the people were in elegant suits, maybe they should have tidied themselves up more, but instantly he discarded that idea because he felt good and comfortable just as he was. His family didn't seem to mind. There they met Bellemere, a friend of Rosinante and a former police officer, who had gone there with her two daughters, Nojiko and Nami.

As soon as he saw them, Luffy went to play with them and Law also accompanied them. The room they were in had a large garden that the children saw as a tempting playground.

Ace yawned sitting at a table alone while sneakingly watching the people at the party. He didn't know the majority, because he had little to no interest in these events and only greeted who he wanted. He didn't mind being called rude, he just hoped he could leave soon. It had been a long time since he heard anything about his four-year-old earthquake, so he thought about taking a look to find out if he was behaving well.

He walked distractedly among the people and inadvertently hit someone.

"Sorry..."

"Oh?" Said the man, his voice lethargic. Was he sleeping standing against a column? "Don't apologize, girl..."

"What?" He snapped angrily. It was a reflex act that he had when someone assumed his gender in a way that didn't satisfy him. The man leaned in to see him better, he was way too too.

"I'm sorry for the mistake, you're the boy that came with Garp and Sengoku." Ace just nodded trying to think why he was talking to that guy. "They said something about... Hmm... I don't remember. Anyway, you're not bad at all anyway."

Ace blushed and felt uncomfortable when receiving compliments from a stranger. They didn't usually give him that kind of comment on a regular basis, although perhaps it was because he didn't come out very often.

"Whatever, what are you doing after this party, doll?"

This way of approaching him was very uncomfortable, but before he could answer or insult the dude, another person appeared.

"Kuzan, put it down," the man snapped, his voice hard and strong. "I think Sengoku needs you."

"Dad!" Luffy appeared behind that person and ran to Ace.

"Ah, Smoker," the tall fellow sighed wearily. "What a bummer... Take care, sweetheart."

Once again, Ace glared at him, but he didn't care. That weird guy wasn't even really seeing him. Luffy caught his attention again.

"The Kemuri helped me find you," he explained, pointing at him. "You weren't at the table and I wanted you to come see the beetle I found. It was HUGE."

He listened to his son's words and nodded, then looked at the man who helped him. His eyes instantly noted the police coat that rested on his broad shoulders, the harsh and intimidating features of his face framed by white hair slicked back. The first thing he thought when he saw him was that he was a big, rough man, but he also seemed a little kind. After all, he had guided his puppy.

"Thanks for helping him," he said with a smile. "I'm Ace."

"I know," he replied. "I have been working with Garp and Sengoku for some time, I know who you are."

"Oh right," he agreed, thinking it was logical. However, that man seemed older, but not as old as the old men. Maybe a few years older than himself. "Are you a cadet or something like that?"

"Captain," he replied. "Smoker."

"Nice to meet you." Ace smiled, but Luffy grunted, making himself present.

"Kemuri," the boy snapped. "You said you would give me your ice cream."

He looked with a raised eyebrow at the boy without understanding the nickname and why he asked him to give him ice cream, but Smoker interrupted saying to the little boy that he would. Ace was confused but returned to sit with his son and Smoker accompanied them. Dessert was served and Luffy got double ice cream. The night became much more pleasant chatting with that man, who seemed a bit sullen, but Ace managed to laugh, especially with the nonsense that his son did to annoy him. He discovered that Luffy called him Kemuri because he had seen him smoking and he found it funny, his little one was very witty and creative.

The night continued and Luffy ended up falling asleep in Smoker's arms. At first Ace didn't want to leave him, but the boy insisted that he wanted the man to lift him up and was surprised to see how well he dealt with his boy. As rough as he looked, Luffy seemed to like him, and so did Ace too.

"I'm sorry he didn't leave you alone," Ace apologized, watching his cub sleep with his head on Smoker's shoulder.

"It's fine, it doesn't bother me."

"You seem to like children."

"I guess, I don't know because I have no children, nephews, or any kid in my family."

"I hope I don't have any more," Ace sighed but instantly laughed. A bit of a joke but he was serious too. "Are you not married or something?"

"No," said Smoker. "What about you?"

"No..."

Ace looked at the man for a moment and thought it was a rather bizarre moment. He didn't have much idea about how to relate to people because he had been locked up for a long time and was a little anxious to be having that long conversation, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

Luffy seemed to like him and so did him. His boy grew quickly attached to people but Ace believed that it had been somewhat stronger this time.

The party ended and they left. Ace hugged his sleeping son to his chest and Luffy clung to him seeking the warmth his neck could offer him. Throughout the trip and until they returned home, Ace didn't say a word and just looked out the window wondering if he had done well or not giving his cell phone number to that man he had just met. It might not be important, but he needed to get out of that island where he had been going around for years and interact with other people. Maybe he could meet someone else he might come to love, even if that person wasn't Sabo.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm very excited because we are halfway through the story. This first stage was quite important for Ace about his identity and he has made a lot of progress, but there is still much more to go.  
> Something I want to say, because of some comments I received, is this: **ACE IS A MAN** , no matter what body he has. Others don't "treat him as a man", he is not "a woman who dresses as a man". He is a man, period. Therefore his relationship with Sabo is GAY, because they are both men, no matter what type of genitalia each one has. Gender identity, genitality and sexual orientation **ARE DIFFERENT THINGS** and in each person they can vary in different ways.  
> Sorry if I'm a bit intense on this, I just wanted to clear it up.

His labored breathing rang in his ears. He couldn't get tired now, he had to resist and show that he could stay on his feet. How long had they been in that fight? He had no idea, but Ace didn't want to give up.

Jinbe looked at him with a smile and Ace narrowed his eyes defiantly. He had been training with this man for a year and learned a lot. During his younger years, when he was a child, he got used to the punches and fights thanks to Garp. The old man had taught him to fight and defend himself, but in a much more brutal and aggressive way. Jinbe instead had another style, one more _orderly_ or so Ace thought. After all, he was a great karate fighter.

When he started his hormonal treatment, Ivan suggested that he do some type of training and sent him to someone he trusted. Jinbe was Ivan's husband and Ace was very amazed when he discovered it. They seemed to have absolutely nothing in common. While Jinbe was serious and formal, Ivan was outgoing and glamorous. He never imagined that they would be a couple, but seeing them together, he could see how much they loved each other and how well they worked together.

In addition to karate, Jinbe was a well-known marine biologist. Both were eminences in their fields. As an instructor he was tough, but he didn't mind. The challenge of learning and realizing how much progress he was making motivated him to continue. It was a great relief to cope with the stress of the treatment.

The instant he really couldn't take it anymore, he fell to the ground breathless and exhausted, but with a smile. It was fun. Jinbe was a strict teacher, but he still reached out to lend him a hand and help him up.

"You improved a lot," Jinbe said, and Ace smiled as he stood up.

His body ached and his muscles throbbed hot from the effort. His training always consisted of exercises and at the end Jinbe indulged him by practicing with him in combat.

"Am I your best student?" He asked, laughing.

"You are the only one, so you can see it that way."

It was true. Jinbe no longer trained people, he devoted himself entirely to his profession as a biologist. However, he also owned a martial arts dojo, but there were different instructors there. At Ivan's request, Jinbe taught him personally. He knew his doctor did it because Ace would need someone he trusted to encourage him to take that step and that he would be somewhat _sensitive_ about the whole treatment thing. As serious as that man was, he had treated him as an equal and knew how to support him in a way Ace didn’t expect.

They went to drink water and he dried his sweat a little when he heard someone calling him.

"But look who I found here," Ivankov said, approaching them with a smile and kissing his husband to greet him. "I hope you're taking good care of him, Jinbe."

"Today I think we went a bit too far, but Ace has a lot of resistance."

"Of course, darling. He has a 4-year-old boy, what this boy has the most is resistance."

Ace laughed and felt a little embarrassed. Even he had a hard time keeping up with Luffy, he had a lot of energy.

"Luffy already wants Jinbe to teach him karate," he commented, causing a laugh in the other two.

"Perhaps in some time he could start training with Koala," Jinbe said, meditating on it.

"She's here?" Ivan asked.

"He's training some kids in another one of the classrooms."

"I couldn't go say hi," Ace thought that before he left he should do it.

Koala was another of the dojo's instructors. He met her when he started training there. Jinbe appreciated her as if she were his niece and she was also a great fighter. Ace had talked to her several times until they became friends.

"Go take a shower," Ivan told them. "Do you want us to take you home Ace-boy?"

That would be great because he was tired. He accepted Ivan's proposal, because they didn't live very far and he didn't have to force them to stray too far.

The dojo was quite a large place and also had showers for people who had just finished training. Ace liked them a lot because he sweat so much from the effort.

Using the toilets there had been a problem at first. He had never been in the situation of having to enter a public men's toilet, but he did it anyway. This was another of the tests he had to face and then maybe he would get used to it, he would stop seeing that —entering a public bathroom— as a situation that made him anxious.

There were never too many people and they even had dressing rooms where you could have a little privacy when changing. Little by little it became something more usual, something which didn't make him so nervous, but he still wouldn't dress in front of other people. He wasn't comfortable with that and he doubted he could ever do it.

He put on somewhat loose, comfortable clothing and tossed his damp hair as he left the bathrooms. Ivan was waiting for them, but Jinbe was not with him.

"How are you boy?" He asked him. "Do you have plans for the weekend?"

Ace bit his lip looking off to the side. If he had to be honest, he had something to do, but he was a little embarrassed to say it. Although actually, Ivan knew a lot more embarrassing things about him.

"Hmm… yes," he muttered. "I went to one of Garp’s work parties and met someone there." Ivan's surprised look made him a little shy, but he kept talking. "We chatted and he said if I wanted to do something."

Ivan heaved a sigh with a mixture of surprise and excitement. Ace felt his face heat up.

"That's great, Ace!" He retorted really happy for him. "It was about time you started to put yourself out there a bit."

"It's not really important, we just talked and nothing else."

"You don’t like him?"

His face exploded in red.

"He is good looking."

He reached for his cell phone to show him his profile picture. Truth be told, Smoker was a very attractive man. He was tall, much taller than Ace, huge and muscular; but he also spoke very softly in that serious tone of voice and had a calm demeanor. Ace liked that, it made him want to keep spending time with him like the time they met.

"You have a good eye, boy," Ivan said in a slightly suggestive tone. "Do you already know what you have to do if things go further?"

A weary sigh escaped his lips. He had a million talks about sex education and contraception with Ivan. Before discussing the treatment, they had a talk where they discussed his fertility and how the treatment could reduce it. Ace didn't give a shit about his fertility. He didn’t plan on having more children in his life. Luffy would be the only one. He even liked the thought of not having to worry about those issues any more. When his period stopped a few months after starting the treatment, it seemed incredible to him and he felt it was worth doing.

"I know, I know," he mentioned without wanting to talk more about it. "I don't think it will happen anyway."

"It never hurts to be cautious. Do you need condoms? I can get…"

"Ivan, stop it," he interrupted under his breath.

He didn't need Ivan to buy him condoms, he could do it on his own, although he had never used… In fact, until now, he hadn't thought about it. He didn't want to do it now.

Smoker would want that? Perhaps for that reason he invited him. It didn't really bother him, either. All he worried about was thinking about himself in that situation with someone… someone other than Sabo. Could he have that confidence with someone else?

It made him nervous to think of showing himself in that way to a new person. Smoker already knew that he was trans. Ace wasn't sure if the man had noticed the first time they saw each other, but just in case he told him when they started chatting. The policeman replied that he was fine with it and still told him to meet.

The training had made him forget a little bit about the anxiety that this situation gave him and he managed to release a lot of tension, but now, in the cold, he was feeling that uncertainty making his skin crawl again.

He would go anyway, because Ivan was right, he had to start going out to the world a little more. Meeting people and getting used to doing it, feeling comfortable showing how he really was. Soon, the university would also begin. He would have irl classes, teachers and colleagues with whom he would share the same study space. This would be a good start and besides, he liked Smoker. He had no reason to say no.

Jinbe returned and was accompanied by Koala. The girl came over very happy to see him.

They talked for a few moments while Jinbe and Ivan were talking about something that Ace didn’t hear. Koala was a beautiful girl, probably his first friend, and he appreciated her. She studied Sociology and also, in her spare time, babysat as an extra job. Luffy and Law also entered there.

Once he couldn't leave Luffy with anyone to go training, so Jinbe told him that Koala could take care of him. She used to do it informally, to save money, in addition to the money she earns as an instructor, to continue studying and sustain herself without problems. It had been very convenient because last year Ace had had to take the university entrance course and she helped him a lot taking care of his son.

Leaving his child with someone unknown was a problem for him, but when Jinbe told him about Koala he thought about it. He knew her, she was his friend, and he trusted her. Also, she got along well with Luffy. At first it was difficult to get used to it, but it was a normal thing now.

"Do you want us to take you, Koala?" Ivan asked and she denied.

"No, I'm going to have dinner with Robin," she replied. "She is leaving in a few days on vacation with her boyfriend and we’re having a goodbye dinner."

He remembered Robin. She was a beautiful and relaxed woman, who shared the apartment with Koala. He had seen her a couple of times and knew she was dating a somewhat _peculiar_ person, but Ace didn’t have the right to judge anyone, although he did seem like a funny person.

"Besides, she'll go live with Franky when they come back and I'll be alone," Koala continued with a pout.

"Oh, what a shame," Ace mentioned. "And you can't have another roommate?"

"It's okay," she said, smiling. "My former roommate comes back soon from his exchange program and I guess he will live with me again."

"They don't let you have your own space," he teased, and Koala rolled his eyes in agreement.

"I'll have to take the chance to throw a party before that idiot shows up."

"Will I be invited?"

"Of course my friends were looking forward to meeting you after I uploaded that photo together."

He laughed when she said that. One day they had taken a photo, a silly thing, and Koala uploaded it to her Instagram. Supposedly, her classmates at the university wanted him to go to one of their parties, but he still didn't feel ready.

He said goodbye to her and left with Ivan and Jinbe. Many challenges still lay ahead, but he didn't want to think about it now. He was very sleepy. All he wanted was to eat and sleep, but he knew he had to pay attention to his baby first. Luffy hung up on him like the monkey he was as soon as he arrived and Ace knew right away that he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep early.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Where are you going?"

He didn't immediately answer his son's question. Ace was finishing buttoning his shirt in front of the mirror and began tying the longest strands of his hair so they wouldn't bother his face.

"I want to go with you, Dad!" The impatient boy snapped, having a fit on the bed where he was lying looking at him and Ace sighed.

"You can't, Luffy. I'll be back soon," he said without flinching. His son always made such tantrums and was very capricious when he wanted, but today he could not go out with him.

He looked through the mirror at the boy, pouting and rolling on the bed to get his attention. That struck him as funny and he smiled at the boy.

"But I want to go..." he protested again. "Will you see the Kemuri?"

Ace gulped when he heard those words from his son and felt shame wash over his face. It was true, he would go on a date with Smoker —’Kemuri’ as Luffy told him—. He was still surprised by that nickname he invented for him.

"Who told you that?" He asked, not understanding how his son knew about his _date_.

"The grandparents were talking about that with Uncle," the boy explained and Ace growled.

They had made a —small— _scandal_ when they found out he was going out with Smoker. In the words of Sengoku and Garp, he was a good man and they 'approved' him. Rosinante was also happy for him and Ace just wanted to die of grief.

"Next time you can go with me," he promised but Luffy didn't seem convinced. "You're going to stay with your cousin, don't you like that?"

Luffy seemed to want to talk back but said nothing and that made Ace smile. He leaned down to kiss his son on the forehead.

"More kisses!" Luffy said, raising his arms for his dad to lift him up and Ace couldn't resist.

"More kisses?" He repeated, laughing. "Well, I’ll accept them."

Luffy put his little arms around his dad's neck and gave him lots of kisses on the face. He was a very loving boy and Ace loved him very much. It hurt a little to have to leave him, but he also felt he needed it. He hadn't tried dating anyone, he hadn't even thought about those things, raising his son had consumed his entire life, and now he felt completely nervous just thinking about it.

The boy hid his face in Ace's neck and felt that he was falling asleep. It was a little late for him, he knew that he would not last long awake.

Rosinante entered at that moment.

"He is here for you," he said to Ace as he approached. "I already had a talk with him."

"Was it necessary?" He sighed wearily.

"Would you rather I or one of the old men do it?"

Ace said nothing. He didn't need to be protected, but he couldn't avoid it either. Smoker still belonged to the same force as everyone in that family, so they felt they had an ‘obligation’ to warn him how to behave. What a nuisance. He hoped that wasn't a problem, although Smoker was a nice man. If he hadn't talked to him at the party where they met, he probably would have been bored to death. In addition, he had treated Luffy well when he fell asleep on top of him or pulled his clothes to play with him.

It wasn't Sabo, but it was someone and he liked him.

Luffy moved into his arms asleep and Rosinante reached out to grab him.

"Don't worry," said the man with an affectionate gesture. "You can have a break from being a dad. I'll give him back to you tomorrow."

Ace smiled and leaned in to kiss his son on the head.

"Thank you, Rosi," he murmured with a smile. "Send me a message if there is any problem.”

"I won't, you just have fun."

He was sure that without all that man's support he would have ended very badly. Rosinante had been and still was a fundamental pillar for him. That whole family was important. He still felt a bit of guilt for leaving his baby, but it wouldn't be for long and he knew he would be well cared for.

He put on a coat and walked to the door where he saw a waiting car. Smoker opened the door for him and Ace took a deep breath of encouragement. He could do this.

"Hello," he said, getting into the car. "I'm sorry for the delay."

"It’s okay," said Smoker, who was smoking with the window open. "Where would you like to go?"

Ace had no idea about restaurants or places to eat. He only went out sometimes with his family and usually didn’t pay attention. Smoker gave him some options and he ended up deciding through his stomach, he chose to eat pizza.

The trip was short and the conversation was not a bit uncomfortable, luckily. He was a little afraid he wouldn’t know what to talk to the man about. He felt unexpectedly small and inexperienced, and it was a bit like that. However, he was also comfortable next to Smoker and despite how serious he seemed, he liked when he smiled confidently at him. He had the feeling that he would have a good time.

There weren't too many people in that place they went to and that pleased him. This way, they could talk in a calmer way. They sat at a wooden table and Ace had some problems reading the menu that was brought to him because the lights were too low, although that made for a much more intimate atmosphere. Maybe they ordered too much food, because the waitress looked at them with a raised eyebrow, but Ace laughed as soon as she left. It was only four pizzas for two people, it didn't seem like much.

"Thanks for inviting me," Ace said after ordering his food. "Garp and Sengoku got really dense when they found out."

"They called me into their office at the headquarter to talk," he replied. "They seem to care a lot about you."

So embarrassing. He could hardly imagine that scene. He understood that the old men were _concerned_ but they didn’t have to make such scandals either.

"I'm glad you agreed to come," Smoker continued. "I mean... You only saw me at that party, but I wanted to keep talking to you."

"I was thinking it was a boring stupid party," he said honestly, "but thanks to you I had a better time. I'm sorry Luffy bothered you so much. He is a somewhat intense child."

As much as he said that, his son was full of love and he loved spending time with him. Still, he didn't expect everyone to see it the same way and be willing to keep up with that demon.

"He threw a tantrum when I left, he also wanted to come see 'Kemuri'", he said, making quotation marks with his fingers and laughing at the strange nickname that Luffy gave that man.

Smoker didn’t seem to flinch to his son calling him that. Ace even saw him smile.

"I hope he doesn't get mad because I stole his dad for a while," he said as a joke. "You seem to handle things well, although you're very young."

At that moment, the waitress came back and brought them their drinks.

"I got used to it, but it wasn’t easy at the beginning," he mentioned, drinking a sip of his beer. "Luffy is a complicated but very adorable child. It was really hard because I was very young and the pregnancy also... It changed my body in ways that didn't fit with how I felt."

Maybe it was too much to talk about these things the first time they were alone, but it was the reality, _his reality_. He had been struggling with these problems for years. If Smoker wanted to get to know him and that date was for that, was not logical to tell him about his life?

"I think you look great and I would have thought so if I met you at that moment too," Smoker answered and Ace smiled while hearing it.

He didn't seem like a too complicated guy. He didn't even have a problem with Ace being trans, or that's what he could feel so far. He was used to Garp and Sengoku accepting him, despite being cops and having had strict indoctrination that wasn't exactly _open minded_. Even so, Rosinante also worked in that same place and didn’t have a closed mind, apparently neither Smoker. He definitely couldn’t judge people solely by their profession.

"Thank you, although you probably wouldn't recognise me," he said with great confidence because that day he saw the photos and he was definitely someone else.

They talked about quite a few things until their food was brought. Ace tried to eat carefully and not stain his shirt or speak with his mouth full —things that happened to him very often— while they continued to inquire about the life of the other.

They asked about each other's work or some other things. Ace told him that he was about to start college and Smoker told him about his training years. He also learned that Hina —a very pretty woman with pink hair whom he had seen at the party where they met and also on other occasions— had been his partner and that surprised him. She seemed like a rough person just like him, surely they had gotten along well, although it must be difficult to maintain a relationship with someone with whom he shared the same job.

"And you haven't had a partner in a long time?" Smoker asked, and Ace thought for a moment, then replied that he had been alone for a long time. "Are you still seeing Luffy's father?"

He had to wait for that question, it was obvious that he would want to know. He already told him that he was the one who had his son, but there must also be another father, the person who helped him put Luffy in there. He never spoke of Sabo outside his inner circle, but perhaps it was a good opportunity to try to take that memory as something more _natural_.

"I don't... I don't know where he is," he replied, looking at the remains of his empty plate. "When we had Luffy we were very young. His family didn’t like me and they took him away from me. I didn't see him again after that."

It was surprising how much it hurt to have to say those words. He felt needles digging into his chest and he bit his lips thinking that he hadn’t come to terms with that situation at all. Ace felt that happened to him a long, long time ago, in another life, but it was only five years ago. It was normal to still feel his wounds open, but they were no longer as big as when they had just parted. He hoped that the passing of time would help him close them.

That overwhelming feeling faded when he felt a hand rest on top of him. He looked up to see Smoker.

"I'm sorry things turned out that way," he said, looking him in the eye. "However you raised an amazing kid and I'm sure you are his whole world. It is admirable."

He felt his lips tremble in surprise at hearing him and smiled. He liked hearing that from that person and was grateful. In addition to having heard him, he said nice words that made him feel too happy.

"Thank you," he replied. "Seriously, you are a warm and attractive man. I really like you."

Was it okay to say that at the time? Ace didn't know how dating _protocol was_. He just wanted to say it and he did. He blushed in that instant and looked at his plate with a smile feeling warm on his face. He saw him again and noticed Smoker surprised but smiling too. That gave him more confidence. Apparently he had done no wrong saying it.

Dinner ended soon and they decided to leave. That would be it? He wasn't sure if he wanted it to end.

Smoker approached him and then he remembered their remarkable height difference, but it wasn’t important.

"I wish we could stay together," Smoker told him. "You don't have to say yes, but... Do you want to go to my house?"

His body jerked, wanting to move away from inertia, but he caught himself. It had been a long time since anyone had approached him _like that_ and that made him very nervous. Still, he wondered what his reason for refusing was.

He liked this man, he was attractive, and it seemed that the feeling was mutual. Why should he refuse to go?

He accepted and tried to ignore his heartbeat that was almost making him deaf.

Smoker's apartment was in the dark when they arrived and Ace was distracted looking at it as soon as the lights came on. It didn’t have too many things that caught his attention, although perhaps his nerves didn’t allow him to observe the place in more detail.

Smoker offered him something to drink and Ace accepted. He drank the cup of tea that he made for him and sighed as the hot liquid brushed his lips.

"Are you cold?" Smoker asked, coming up to him again and Ace almost flinched when he felt him place a hand on his waist.

He didn't have to be upset if someone touched him. He wanted to do it. This was fine and the way Smoker hugged him felt nice. The man already knew that he was trans and what he would find if he got to see him without his clothes. Still, he seemed willing to want to have him around. So why couldn't he stop doubting?

He took a deep breath and set his cup of tea aside to get closer to him.

"You're warm, I'm not cold with you," he murmured and smiled softly when Smoker looked at him. "Thanks for inviting me."

The intensity in his eyes made him feel overwhelmed. Not only was there a sex drive, but he also sensed a protective need in those strong arms that surrounded him. Ace hadn’t felt protected and loved like that for too long.

He could tell that Smoker was nervous too, perhaps because he was afraid of doing something that would bother Ace, so he tried to smile at him to give him confidence. He hugged him too, and his skin prickled as that giant man leaned over him. It was the first time he had kissed someone other than Sabo and his entire body shuddered. The hands that caressed his back made him sigh as he closed his eyes and gave himself to that feeling.

Experiencing that again was mobilizing, but he liked it. Smoker gave him the confidence to go on and move on to _something else_. He was scared because it would be the first time he did that kind of thing since he started his hormonal treatment, but after the clothes started to go away and the heat increased in his body he lost any insecurity.

**.**

**.**

**.**

He yawned bored as he waited for his teacher to return. He didn't like being still, but she said she would give him cookies, so he waited for her. As sometimes happened when it was time to leave, Luffy had to wait in the classroom until they came for him. When the teacher returned, she handed him the promised cookies. She offered her hand and Luffy accepted it. He walked with his small stuffed panda backpack hanging on his back and ate his cookies while she accompanied him.

He already knew where they were taking him. His teacher Viola smiled at him as they got to the part where the elementary school kids started leaving. Luffy got out of kindergarten a little before, but his teacher knew that he had a cousin who was going to third grade, so he waited for him to come out to be picked up together. The boy ran as soon as he saw his cousin.

"Torao~!" He shouted very happily, hugging him in front of his teacher and his classmates. "Miss Viola gave me cookies, want some?"

Luffy offered to share his food, but the other boy rejected it, although that didn’t prevent the youngest from continuing to happily hug him and tell him everything he did during the day.

They waited a few minutes until they came for them. Every day people from his family picked them up, but there was one day in particular that someone else came.

"Koala!" Luffy said when he saw the girl who always went to pick them up on Fridays and she leaned down to hug the boy.

Koala had been the boys' babysitter for a year. She also cared for Bellemere's daughters, so they already knew her a lot.

"How are you two?" She said with a smile waving at them. "You had a good day?"

"Yes!" Luffy said quickly as he jumped. "I did a lot of drawing."

"Really? When we get home you have to show them to me."

The boy nodded very eagerly. Koala greeted the teachers, whom she already knew, and took the children's hand to go out. She didn’t live far from school, so they could walk without problems. Luffy liked to go in the middle, so he took Koala's hand and Law's too happily as he talked nonstop.

When they arrived, Luffy demanded food and Koala sighed as she went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Luckily, she didn't have to go to college that day, and she could have something prepared for the children and didn't have to keep them waiting. The day before she had bought food, so she had a great variety. She made some vegetables in the oven and also hamburgers for them. She could almost hear Luffy's stomach roaring from the kitchen.

"How was school, Law?" She asked the boy when she gave him his food. He was very quiet, but after spending time together she felt a little trust had been built. "You have a lot of homework?"

He saw him twist his mouth thoughtfully when she asked.

"I have a social science test," he replied, and Koala's eyes flashed.

"I can help you," she said with a smile. She studied Sociology at university, but she always helped children with their homework because it entertained her. "After eating you can show me."

"I want more!" Luffy interrupted holding up his empty plate and Koala laughed. That boy ate a lot, but she already knew that, so she returned to serve him, although she was used to people like that.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing and doing homework. While Luffy watched television, Koala helped Law with his homework and studying for his exam. He was a very intelligent boy.

The door opened, drawing everyone's attention, who looked in that direction, and Koala sighed. It was time for that fool to show up.

"I'm here," he announced entering the house and was amazed to see the room so crowded. "Eh... did I interrupt?"

Both children looked at the stranger with curiosity because they had never seen him. Law sat at the table next to Koala where they were looking at his books and Luffy left the television to approach that new person. He was always interested in meeting new people, but that guy caught his attention.

He looked up to see him thinking his clothes were great. He liked his t-shirt with a winged skull, he thought it was amazing.

"Hi, I'm Luffy," he greeted, waving his hand and the stranger stared at him until he smiled at him.

"Hello Luffy," he replied, bowing to the cute little boy, he had forgotten that Koala was babysitting some children. "I'm Sabo, a friend of Koala."

"A bad friend who doesn't answer messages if he's coming for lunch or not," she snapped annoyed from the table and Sabo scratched his head.

"Sorry, I ran out of battery."

She didn't think it was a lie, she knew he was oblivious to those simple things. Luffy, for his part, looked at him more closely.

"You have a scar," said the boy. "It's great! I also have one."

He showed the cut under his left eye, much smaller than the burn that covered Sabo's eye, but he was still surprised that such a small boy had a mark there.

"He fell scaling the TV cabinet," Law explained, and Luffy laughed.

"I was playing Spiderman," added the boy. "Dad was very angry."

Koala and Sabo laughed at that anecdote. Those children were nice, Sabo remembered that she sometimes texted him about the little ones she babysitted, but he didn't pay much attention. Even so, while Koala continued studying with Law, Sabo watched television with Luffy and showed him the toys in his backpack and the drawings he made in kindergarten. It was unexpected, but he had fun with the boy and thought it was nice to spend time with him, which was strange because Sabo was never very patient or interested in caring for or teaching children.

He had spent the last year in England in an exchange program. He knew how to speak some languages because they were taught to him since he had memory and he was also able to work to save money on his trip. He just worked and studied. So that simple moment, where Luffy showed him his crayon drawings of various Pokemon that he didn’t know, made him very relaxed.

Luffy went to demand his cousin's attention when they finished studying and Koala went with Sabo to prepare the afternoon tea in the kitchen.

"You had fun?" Koala asked with a smile as she made chocolate milk for the children. "Don't expect me to pay you."

"I deserve it," he joked, but he didn't need it. "They are nice."

"You and Luffy became friends very quickly," she commented, but she knew that making friends was part of that child's nature. "He is cute, and his dad is very cute."

"I see why you take care of him," Sabo mentioned to annoy her and got elbowed in response.

"Don't be silly."

"Sorry, sorry..." He apologized without wanting to receive more of her anger, "but he is a nice boy."

He didn't think much beyond that. He would see Luffy more often since Koala babysit him and he had no problem playing with him.

"He looks a lot like his dad," Koala said, referring to Luffy. “Although his eyes... not so much. They are more like yours in fact.”

Sabo raised an eyebrow thinking that what Koala was saying was illogical. There were many people in the world with brown or big eyes. However, when Sabo saw Luffy again he didn’t think about his eyes, but about the happy way the boy smiled when he received his milk and reminded him of how he smiled that way in other times when he was very happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sabo finally came back! I'm so sorry for the wait. When I wrote it I didn't notice that Sabo was absent for ten chapters, but he has already returned. Ace had to take his time to mature and go through many hardships. Now that he's more stable, Sabo is back to kick that stability to hell. So if anyone wants to know what will happen or if they will meet, you will have to wait until next Sunday.  
> Thanks to everyone who reads, comments, and supports this story. Thank you for valuing my work.  
> See you next week!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I need to share this wonder with everyone:**
> 
> A beautiful person, [Maye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maye/pseuds/maye), made an incredible fanart for chapter 20  
> Fanart Chapter 20 → [LINK](https://maye-art.tumblr.com/post/630758607314665472/dysphoria-by-daenablackfyre)
> 
> I also share the fanart of chapter 15 of when Luffy was born → [LINK](https://maye-art.tumblr.com/post/627365184976109568/dysphoria-by-daenablackfyre)
> 
> They are beautiful ♥ You are an amazing artist, Maye. Thank you very much for doing something so nice for the story.  
> Also thanks to everyone who reads and loves this story!

The soft light coming through the window woke him up. Still, he didn't want to open his eyes. He buried his face in that pillow he was hugging and felt too comfortable. He sighed thinking that he still wanted to continue sleeping, but something didn’t leave him, _someone_.

Ace felt his skin crawl when he felt caresses on his bare back and soft touches, kisses, on his shoulders. He was a little confused by that feeling, but he instantly remembered where he was and with whom. He stretched like a cat as he felt that big, strong hand that had touched him the night before, clinging to his waist and he smiled.

Finally he opened his eyes with great fatigue and turned around to meet Smoker. The man had probably woken up earlier and looked very neat. Instead, Ace imagined himself disheveled, with dried drool on his face and rheum in his eyes; like anyone who got up in the morning. He had an urge to reach for the sheets to cover himself, but he stopped. Smoker had already seen how he was like and didn't care. They had slept together and everything was fine. Even now he was hugging him and kissing his shoulders to wake him up. Everything was really fine.

"Good morning," Ace said, yawning, covering his mouth and rubbing his eyes. "It's too late?"

"Almost ten o'clock," Smoker replied. "I was going to make breakfast, do you like coffee?"

"With milk," he mentioned wearily, though he didn't want to bother Smoker preparing food for him, but he didn't want to turn him down either.

He stayed alone again for a few moments and felt cold, so he covered himself with the blankets that were almost at the foot of the bed and took his cell phone. Sure enough, it wasn't too late, but it was for him at this moment. On Sundays he didn't usually get up very early, but maybe it was better this way. So he could go home early. After all, the next day he had to start his classes at university.

He didn't want to think about it, it made him nervous.

He checked his messages and frowned when he saw that Rosi had written to him almost at midnight. While the message was opening, Ace thought maybe something bad happened and felt horrible for not checking, for being so distracted with Smoker that he forgot that maybe his son needed him.Luckily, it was nothing. Just a picture of Luffy sleeping with Law and a message below from Corazón.

_"Don't worry,"_ Rosinante had written answering his message about staying the night with Smoker. _“Here we are already going to sleep. Take care and call me if you need something. Don't forget the condoms!"_

He rolled his eyes when he read that. Of course he didn't forget it and they did use them. If he made a mistake before, it was because he was young and didn’t know, but it would not happen again.

He looked at the photo Rosi sent him where Law was asleep and Luffy was hugging him like he was a teddy bear. His child enjoyed sleeping with his cousin and figured that that was the only thing that calmed him down after the tantrum he had when he left.

He replied that everything was fine and that he would return soon. He had not yet finished falling into what had just happened the night before. He was very nervous when the situation happened and his heart beat fast. Still, Smoker gave him confidence. He touched him in a gentle way, enough for Ace to stop tensing and allow himself to enjoy. He could do it. He could be with the people he chose and enjoy his body, the pleasures it gave him, without feeling self-conscious about its shape. It was amazing to have that feeling.

He got up to dress up, because he couldn't stay in bed anymore. He looked for his clothes on the floor and went out to look for the bathroom. Smoker's apartment was large, but it was easy for him to find it. He washed his face to wake up before going to the kitchen.

"Hi," he greeted as he approached. "Need help?"

"I'm fine," Smoker replied. "Sit down."

On the table he found his coffee and the smell of fresh toast whetted his appetite. Sharing that moment was too pleasant and domestic. Ace thought that maybe after what they had done, it would be a bit awkward to get up the next day, but it wasn't.

"You have work today?" Ace asked and Smoker nodded.

"In the afternoon, what about you?"

"I start college tomorrow, so I'll enjoy my Sunday off."

"Do you want me to ride you home?"

"No need, I can go back alone, but thank you."

Smoker was a kind and attentive man to him. That fact made him warm in his chest and he smiled.

He enjoyed his breakfast and they chatted some more. Noon began to approach and Ace knew he should go.

When they said goodbye at the door, Smoker hugged him and that hand on his waist made his skin crawl, he liked it. Ace also held onto him and they shared one more kiss. He couldn't help but smile as their lips touched. He had had an incredible time with him and was so happy that he finally took that step.

He didn't know if he would go out with Smoker again, but it wouldn't bother him. Now he shouldn’t think about that, but about the earthquake that he had in his house waiting to receive his attention and that tomorrow he had another ordeal to overcome.

**.**

**.**

**.**

It wasn't as bad as he imagined or so Ace wanted to believe. His first day at the university hadn’t been torture. During the entrance course, he had gotten used to going there every day, but there weren't too many people. Now that classes started for everyone and not just for the newcomers, he felt a bit lost among all that sea of people. He swallowed hard and encouraged himself to go.

One nice thing he discovered is that college was not like school. No one there bothered him or said anything to him. They didn't even seem to notice him. The other students were in their own little worlds, many just as nervous as he was. Also, his college building was huge. Luckily, he had already learned where to go.

He arrived early for his first class and looked for a place to sit. A boy approached him to ask what course it was and he answered trying to sound calm. That person didn't look at him weird, he just thanked him and Ace believed he had seen him during the entrance course. He was a short boy with brown hair, he looked like a child, although maybe that was his feeling because Ace had always been very tall. He didn't remember his name, however.

He tried not to fall asleep in his class, but it was very difficult. The night before, he had stayed up late because of the anxiety about starting his career, so he was tired.

The boy next to him passed him a list that the teacher had started where he should register and there he noticed that his name was Haruta.

He allowed himself to yawn after his class ended and the next one was still thirty minutes away. He went for a drink to wake him up and bought himself some coffee. The day was nice, so he sat on one of the benches that were outside the building on the university’s campus.

When he was in the middle of his drink, someone came to speak to him.

"Excuse me," said a man he didn't recall seeing. His hair was strange, styled into a toupee, as if it were from another era. "Are you a freshman? I'm looking for a boy... about this height and another who is like... has black hair."

That description was too generic and Ace raised a confused brow.

"I don't think I saw them…"

"Oh, excuse me," the man said, laughing. "I don't study here so I have no idea where to go."

His laugh caught onto Ace and he didn't know what to say to help him. However, a couple of people called him, apparently he didn't need help finding his friends. He was surprised to realize that one of them was his classmate.

"Oh, it's you," said the boy. "Were you teasing him, Thatch?"

"Not at all, I was just asking to…"

"Ace," he clarified when that man, Thatch, turned to see him.

"I told you to wait for us at the entrance," the other person who was with them mentioned, who caught his attention. He had a deep, masculine voice, and his friends seemed to refer to him that way, but… his clothes and his appearance didn't _match_.

He remembered not to assume how other people perceived themselves. Clothing was a way of communicating with the outside world, but no garment was assigned or exclusive to a particular gender. He had no right to judge anyone, but he was impressed to see such a person that it wasn’t Ivan, Bon Clay or someone from that background.

"Your directions would’ve worked if you hadn't left, dear Izo."

"I wanted to go buy the copies they asked us," Haruta mentioned, showing the sheets and then looked at Ace. "You already have it? They gave me two by mistake, do you want it?"

He looked at him surprised by that gesture. He took the copy to inspect it. He remembered the teachers had asked for them, but he still hadn't decided to go buy anything.

"Thank you," he said, accepting it.

"What did you think of the class? I think it wasn’t that difficult, but it was very boring."

Ace laughed and agreed. Without realizing it, he kept talking to that person about their career. It was unexpected, but he felt comfortable and good doing it. He didn't think about how he was looking at him or what he thought of him. It was strange to feel that way, but he also allowed himself to enjoy the moment without tension.

**.**

**.**

**.**

When he returned home, he felt tired, but he had to study. He had a lot to read. He had been going to university for a few weeks, so he would have his first exams soon and he hadn't studied enough yet. It was difficult to organize to be able to do it with a four year old demanding his attention all day. Fortunately, he was not alone.

In the distance, Ace heard his son playing with Law and Koala. There was no one else in the house and it was normal at that time. Sengoku and Garp would return later from work. Rosi had probably gone to see his weird brother, he didn't explain much to him by message, he just said that he would be back in the afternoon.

Koala was taking care of the children that day at the house before the old men left and she was there until Ace returned. The girl told him that she would wait until someone came looking for her because she would go out to the movies. He didn't want to ask anything, because he assumed it was some kind of date or maybe not. Anyway, he didn't have to inquire.

For his part, he had received a message from Smoker that made him smile. The man asked him how he was doing and suggested they could go on a walk with Luffy on the weekend. He sighed remembering how much fun they had on their first date and the following ones. He had a good time with Smoker, in _various ways_. Luffy adored him and also felt that he reciprocated. That attempt at a relationship seemed to be working. Was it a relationship? Ace wasn't sure because he didn't understand how something like this should be or feel. Neither of them said anything to _formalize_ what they had.

Everything was so neat and orderly that it was hard to believe it would turn out right. He appreciated Smoker and he liked him very much. They had fun and had a great time. He felt very calm and secure when he was with him. Was that okay? He didn't have a lot of experience to corroborate.

When he was fourteen years old, the feelings he experienced were like fireworks continually exploding inside him. Was it because he was a teenager? He didn't understand, but he doubted that intensity would repeat itself. He was not dissatisfied either, just surprised by those new ways of loving he was discovering.

The study was abandoned when he had to go to prepare the afternoon tea for the children. Luffy's stomach was like clockwork, he was sure that, by what time it was, he would soon show up demanding food. He was about to go ask Koala what she would like to drink, but the doorbell rang.

Ace walked to the door thinking it was probably Rosi or the old men who had come back from shopping, although it was more likely that it was whoever was coming looking for Koala. He yawned before opening the door and shivered when the wind hit his face, it was starting to get cold.

There was no one on the other side and he arched a confused brow.

"Put the bags in the house!"

That scream made him jump. He recognized Garp's voice and noticed the old men unloading things from the car beyond the front yard. Rosinante was also coming with them, he supposed he had just arrived and was helping them. His sight recognized the bags at the door and took them to put them inside.

Inside the house, they had splitted the tasks. So they didn't always go to the supermarket together. This time it had been the old men’s time, and he assumed they would come with infinite packages of rice cakes and lots of tea. Ace couldn't complain, whenever he went shopping they ended up buying junk food, it was worse if he went with Luffy who was easily distracted by any product.

The boy got out as soon as he heard the door opening very excited to see his grandparents and see what things they had bought.

"There's nothing here for you," he warned, seeing Luffy approaching.

"But Dad!" He protested, pouting. "I'm hungry."

Ace laughed when he saw him angry, so he took one of the cookie packages sticking out of the bag to open it and give him some.

"Just one we're going to have tea." Ace put the cookies out of the child's reach and he grunted annoyed as he chewed on his snack.

Koala got out along with Law. She had her backpack on and a coat in her hands.

"You're leaving now?" He asked the girl and she nodded.

"My friend is close, so I'm going now."

"But we didn't finish playing," Luffy said sadly because he was leaving and Koala stroked his head, leaving his coat on a chair.

"I promise we'll keep playing next time I come," she assured him.

The others were entering so they also said goodbye to Koala as soon as she said she was leaving. They tried to invite her to dinner, but she said she had plans. Everyone was very fond of her since they met her, so from time to time they used to invite her to stay.

They finished bringing things in as the girl left and Law caught his eye.

"She forgot that," said the boy, pointing to the coat that Koala left on the chair.

"I'll go give it to her," Ace announced and Luffy yelled that he wanted to go too. So he took the little boy in his arms and the coat to see if she hadn't left.

He rushed out to call Koala and Luffy yelled with him when they saw her almost a block away. The girl turned and greeted them. Ace noticed her shocked expression at her coat and how she started to reach for it. He didn't realize that she was not alone, that someone else was at her side. He blinked several times and his brow furrowed thinking he must be crazy.

His throat was suddenly dry and he thought he was going to have some kind of cardiac arrest because his heart beat hard inside his chest. It had been years since he had felt cold sweat running down the back of his neck and Ace had to strain to breathe and ignore the tachycardia that was driving him crazy as that person got closer.

He looked just like him. It was him. It couldn't be him. But he was looking at Ace like it was him. With those same big, bright eyes that his boy had inherited. Still, it was impossible, or so he thought until he heard Luffy scream.

"Sabo!"

If there was a soul, at that moment Ace felt that it left his body. It was so strong that he had to put Luffy down because he felt like he couldn't hold him anymore. His child happily approached to greet that man and he returned the gesture as if he knew him.

He felt that he was inside a nightmare, one of the thousands he had since they separated. Those that attacked him every night that he tried to sleep between crying and panic attacks, where he lost himself in varied fantasies where he was reunited with him, but he was not prepared for it to happen in reality.

"Thanks, Ace," Koala said with a smile taking the coat from his dead hands. "I didn't notice that I was forgetting it."

He heard her laugh, but he didn't even pay attention to what she said because he couldn't stop looking at him. It was him. He had different hair, a scar, he was much taller; but it was him without a doubt.

"Ace?" Sabo muttered in that voice that gave him the certainty he needed to stop childishly denying himself.

"Sabo…" He answered, trying to speak and breathe without choking as he did so.

Koala looked at both of them without understanding what was happening at the time. No, she definitely couldn't imagine it.

"You know each other?" She asked confused, approaching Sabo.

Were they friends then? Of all the people in the world, did Sabo have to be friends with his son's nanny? _Their son_ … He felt like an idiot at that moment, how was that happening without him knowing?

"Yeah, from when we were kids," Sabo said, still looking at Ace.

Luffy didn't understand why Ace got so weird either. He had never liked seeing his dad sad. He frowned as he approached him and took his hand to get his attention.

"Dad?" Said the boy looking at him worriedly without understanding why he looked sad all of a sudden.

Ace closed his eyes when he heard him feeling something rip inside him. His son had learned to speak fast and was very talkative, something he loved, and he always liked hearing him call him Dad, but at that moment he did not know what to do.

"Dad" Sabo repeated in amazement and Ace found himself unable to keep looking into his eyes. "He's your son?"

A monstrous lump formed in his throat. He nodded because the words weren't coming out of his mouth. He squeezed Luffy's hand tighter in his and took a deep breath trying to stay whole, because he felt that at any moment he could faint.

"Wow, I didn't know you had a child." Sabo overwhelmingly ran a hand through his hair and looked at Koala who seemed more and more intrigued by what was happening. "We met when we were kids, but then we… lost track."

Ace wasn't sure if saying that they just 'lost track' was the right thing to describe the situation, rather they had a traumatic separation, but they weren't going to say it even though they were both aware of it.

"I didn't know Dad and Sabo were friends," Luffy mentioned laughing and that sound helped him relax a bit.

Friends, mates, _everything._ Ace looked back at Sabo just to make sure again that this whole situation was going on and his shocked eyes confused him. He dreamed many times of his encounter with Sabo, always with feelings exploding between them, but he never thought he would feel this uncomfortable and tense. Reality was shit.

"Do you want to talk on your own?" Koala said, apparently worried and Ace felt that the tachycardia was going to kill him. He wasn't ready for that.

"It's okay," Sabo said, denying it. "We could talk later, right? You know, to catch up."

Ace nodded again and tried to smile. He was lousy at pretending.

"Sure," he answered, trying to sound normal. "Ehm… have a good time and it was… good to see you."

A part of him was happy to see Sabo whole and well, despite the scar. If something had eaten him in those years, it was not knowing what had happened to him and that left him a little calmer. Perhaps his comment felt honest, as it really was, because Sabo smiled at him in a charming way that made him wince.

"It was also good to see you."

There were no other words nor did they come any closer. Ace entered his house with Luffy slamming the door and leaning against the wood because he felt like he was going to fall. He breathed heavily as he placed a hand on his chest. He was dizzy and shaking. He couldn't believe what had just happened.

He ran his hands down his face that was covered in sweat as he slid to the floor. Luffy, worried next to him, tugged at his shirt trying to get his attention.

"Dad, Dad," said the anguished child. "What happens? Are you feeling bad?"

He tried to control his breathing so as not to worry him and he smiled at his son. He would have stroked his head but his hands were shaking too much.

"I'm tired," he replied. "I'll go to bed, okay? Go play with Law."

Luffy didn't seem convinced, but Ace needed to be alone. So he got up to go to his room. Luckily the entrance was separated from the kitchen, so no one saw that sorry moment. His boy didn’t follow him into the bedroom. He sat on the bed holding his head and didn't know how long he was in that position until someone touched his shoulder.

"Ace, what's wrong?"

"Rosi…"

He didn't say anything, because the words wouldn't come out. He tried to hold on, but couldn't. As soon as he saw him, he threw himself into the arms of that loving man who had helped him so much and cried. Tears flooded his face in a critical way. Rosinante hugged him and caressed his back, because it was not the first time he had contained him in one of his crises. As much as he went to therapy, no medicine helped him calm down more than those shows of affection.

He wasn't sure how long it was before he stopped crying and was able to speak. His throat ached and his body was unexpectedly tired. Rosi had laid down on his bed and let Ace snuggle into his chest, stroking his hair until he felt him breathe normally. He acted in the same way as with Law when he had nightmares, the little boy had trouble sleeping and had discovered that company and affection managed to calm him down. As much as Ace already had a child and an adult life, he was still a child. He had to deal with things that didn’t correspond to his age and, as much as he used to behave like an older person, he could not always deal with the emotions that haunted him.

A while passed where, luckily, no one knocked on the door or bothered them. Law would surely be playing with Luffy to distract him. The little boy had come looking for him to tell him that Ace was not feeling well and Rosinante asked Law to take care of him. Garp and Sengoku probably wouldn't notice his absence. It was better this way, for the moment.

"What happened, Ace?" He asked after a while when he felt much calmer, but he didn't get an answer instantly.

The scene that he had just lived was repeated in his head hundreds of times and Ace wondered if it really had happened, if it was real, if his mind had not betrayed him like so many other times. He swallowed hard as he sighed. Yes, it happened. He met Sabo, which he had long imagined but assumed would never happen.

The stress that moment had caused had already decreased, now the problem was what to do, how to continue. He had many doubts, but he trusted Rosinante enough to share them.

"I found Sabo," he said with a tired voice and felt the tension in that man who was hugging him in a protective way. Rosi knew his story very well and everything that happened. No wonder he was surprised. "Apparently he's friends with Koala and he was with her when I went out… I know, it sounds crazy, but there he was and it was… so weird. And Luffy knows him! Oh my god, the face he made when he heard him say Dad, he must have thought… I don't know what he thought!"

"Ace, calm down!" Rosinante interrupted him with his strong and firm voice, concerned for the boy's sanity, although the situation was delicate and he understood that his nerves were on the surface. "You must calm down first, you will not solve anything if you are disturbed, you’ll only hurt yourself. You don't want Luffy to see you like this again, do you?"

He bit his lip thinking of the pitiful scene his son had to see. He didn't want to cause trouble or Luffy to worry. He knew he should calm down, but it was very difficult. This encounter could mean that the life he worked hard up to that point would change and Ace didn't know if he was ready.

"He knows Luffy," he repeated thoughtfully. "I have to tell him, but I don't know if I can or if he wants to find out about something like that... What should I do?"

"I don't think it's right for him to live without knowing about his son now that they met and even more because you found out that he met him," he said sincerely and Ace knew he was right, "but telling him is your decision, Ace. Here we will all be with you as always."

He appreciated that support and hugged him again. Just thinking about telling Sabo the truth made him ill. He couldn't imagine that moment or the reaction Sabo would have. Ace was afraid that he would hate him because he hid his son from him and didn't seek him out, but how was he going to do it after everything that happened between them, after how they separated? Those memories made his stomach turn.

Having Luffy was his decision no matter how much they did together. It had been his responsibility and his suffering. Ace loved that boy and he wasn't ready to relive the pain he went through during that tough time. Still, he couldn't think of lying to Sabo now that he found him.

He would tell him and then think about what to do. He could not live in peace with that burden on his conscience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translator’s Note:**
> 
> Hiya everyone! ChainedKura here. I wanted to clarify one thing. In this chapter and the last one I used the concept ‘afternoon tea’ as a replacement for the word ‘merienda’. There is no good translation for it and the english afternoon tea is the closest concept. ‘Merienda’ is an afternoon meal, usually constituted by some infusion (if you’re an adult) or chocolate milk (If you’re a child) and some snacks (cookies, cakes, bread, toast or whatever). That’s all, hope you’re liking the fic.


	22. Chapter 22

The day would be difficult. Ace knew that he would encounter loud tantrums and crying, which he had no head to deal with. Today Luffy had to go get vaccinated, but the boy didn't like it and was scared of it, like many people were. Ace had completely lost the fear of needles after starting his hormone treatment, but his son was different.

They came to the clinic early one day when he didn't have to go to college and his son missed kindergarten. Luffy had been reluctant to go, he almost seemed to know what they would do. He had to drag him to make him want to enter, but it still didn't work. He took him in his arms and carried him to the nurses.

The boy cried when his skin was pricked, and it hurt Ace to hear it. He didn't like him to suffer, but it was necessary. This vaccine prevented diseases such as measles or rubella. The nurses wrote that one down on Luffy's vaccine calendar and in a while he'll have to take others. The nurse promised Luffy that the next time it wouldn't hurt and the boy nodded with tears in his eyes.

Ace hugged him and carried him in his arms as they walked out. His son buried his face in his neck still in dismay, but at least he was no longer crying.

"Has the pain gone away?"

"Yes..." the boy murmured.

"Do you want me to buy you something?" He asked, hoping to make him happy with that. Luffy didn't answer until he pulled away to look at him.

"Meat."

"We have meat at home, think of something else."

"Hmm... chocolate!"

He laughed at that request and nodded. He could buy him a kinder egg, he deserved it after that shot. He lowered Luffy and he held out a hand to keep walking but not the arm where they gave him the vaccine because it hurt.

They walked together to leave the clinic. Ace knew that Ivan was not working that day and was sorry because he would like to see him. After everything that happened to him, talking to Ivan would do him good.

Ace had a very mobilizing therapy session a few days ago. He told Bon-chan what happened with Sabo, how it made him feel and what was happening to him at the time. He was afraid. He did want to tell him the truth, but at the same time he didn't know what to expect. His thoughts always imagined trouble. Sabo wouldn't react well and Ace knew it.

He also pondered if it was really worth doing, but he quickly put that out of his mind. He didn't have to lie or hide the truth. Bon-chan also reminded him that he should not blame himself, because he lived through very difficult situations and that it was admirable how he got up to take care of Luffy. Still, Ace didn't think that would be of value to Sabo when he told him.

Koala kept going to babysit the children and he could feel the girl's gaze on him. He sensed that she had many questions, and Ace did too, but neither said anything on the subject.

One day, Ace approached her to ask if she could give him Sabo's number, because he wanted to write to him to _catch up_ as they had said when they met. She nodded after remaining thoughtful and gave it to him.

Now the next step was to call him, but he couldn't. He'd better send a message, although he still hadn't gotten up enough courage.

Nor had he told the old men yet that he had found him again. First he thought he should talk to Sabo and then see what to do from there.

This whole situation was difficult and shit. He didn't know if he was going to be able to cope.

Before leaving, he was surprised to run into a doctor he knew.

"Wow, it's Spiderman," Marco said with a smile looking at Luffy and then Ace. "I hope everything is in order."

"Yeah, something like that," Ace replied with a sigh. "We came for a vaccine."

"Dad told me he'd give me chocolate."

Marco laughed and patted Luffy's head. After that time he tended to his son, Ace began to cross paths with him more often. Apparently, he hadn't been working at that clinic long when Luffy had his Spiderman accident. Ace used to go often to consult with Ivan and ended up seeing him. He always asked him about his little hero and they had nice conversations.

"Are you okay?" Marco asked, making Ace to flinch. "You look tired."

"It was... a difficult week," he commented, thinking of all the moments of panic he had experienced since he saw Sabo and the anxiety he had thinking of sending him a stupid message.

"If there's anything I can do, tell me. I'm in the office almost every day at this time."

He didn't know how to take that, but he still thanked him.

He remembered Ivan's words, who always told him that this doctor had a _particular interest_ in him, but Ace didn't believe it. He was just nice, right? Although Smoker was also nice to him and had _those_ _intentions_. Could it be that Marco was also _interested_ in him? Distinguishing those things was very difficult. Anyway, that doctor was attractive, although since Luffy called him 'doctor pineapple' he couldn't stop seeing him like that.

He went with his son to the park for a while so that he would forget about the vaccine issue, but first he bought his Kinder surprise. Luffy ate it in a second and it took them a while to put the toy together. It was a kind of car or bicycle, he didn't have enough imagination to figure what it was, but Luffy liked it and went to play with it.

He watched his son play in the park equipment for a while and how he entertained himself by sliding the little new toy down the slide. There was no one at that time and he was able to enjoy the tranquility of the place while Luffy entertained himself.

He took out his phone and thought about it. He had to be quick before he regretted it.

_"Hi Sabo, this is Ace. I wanted to know if you are free one of these days to meet and talk."_

Send.

After pressing that button, he was about to delete the message, but he held back. He put the cell phone away and tried to focus on not losing his mind as the tachycardia seemed to be about to kill him. He took a deep breath and thought it was done. He took that step and couldn't regret it. Actually yes, he could but he didn't want to. He already decided that he would not wait to tell the truth, the problem was how he would do it.

Should he arrive and the first sentence that comes out of his mouth be 'Luffy is your son'? It wasn't a bad option, but he couldn't drop that bomb without preparing the ground.

He didn't know how the fuck to say it and he wanted to die in that instant.

Luffy pulled his hand to go play and in that way reminded him that he couldn't die yet because he had to take care of him. Ace sighed and went with him. Then he would think about what to do. Nor did he see his cell phone again, although he felt it ring and vibrate. He would do it when he was ready.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Ever since he left home, he had a feeling that things would not turn out well, but he couldn't regret it. He walked the streets with his hands hidden in his pockets. That day it was very cold even though he was walking on the side of the street where the sun was shining. Ace's feet walked slowly because he didn't want to get to his destination. He swallowed hard when he turned the corner and saw the coffee shop where Sabo would surely be waiting for him. He stopped before crossing the street.

Several days had passed since he sent him the message. The anxiety that ran through his body when he replied prevented him from seeing the chat until several hours later and they finally agreed to meet in that coffee shop.

How should he do it? He was still tempted to reach out and say 'Luffy is your son' because he was fed up with this tension that made his body ache, but he wouldn't. He also had no idea when or how to say something like that. This would be torture.

He took a deep breath and decided to move on. He had to, backtracking was not an option.

He went through the glass door and the warm atmosphere of the place was very pleasant. He looked around but there was no one there who looked like Sabo. He checked the time and even noticed that he was a little late, what could have happened? Ace walked between the white painted wooden tables and sat at one where there was a small vase of yellow flowers that he guessed were paper because of the opaque petals. The place looked worn, but at the same time modern, one of those coffee shops that were becoming fashionable everywhere. The atmosphere was nice.

A girl came up with a menu and asked him what he wanted to drink.

Whiskey was the first idea that crossed his mind, because his body asked him for something strong to cope with that moment, but he ended up ordering a coffee with milk.

He glanced at his cell phone absently, but couldn't see his pending messages because a voice caught his attention.

"Hi," Sabo said, reaching their table. "Sorry I was late, did you have to wait much?"

"No," he replied, trying not to be impressed to see him again. He couldn't get used to it. "I just got here, Luffy delayed me with a tantrum."

A chill ran down his spine as he mentioned his son so lightly, as if he actually wasn't their son. His brain would explode if he kept thinking like this. Sabo laughed at what he said and took off his coat to sit across from him.

"He wanted to come?" He asked. "You could have brought him. He stayed home doing what?"

Ace instantly denied that he said that.

"No, he would want to be the center of attention and eat everything," he assured, laughing at the thought of his child, because that was always the case. "He said he was going to teach the grandparents use the playstation, although I don't think it will work."

Although Luffy was young, he knew how to handle the console well and had his favorite games, although Law was the one who always played with him. Ace also used it from time to time and on several, many occasions, he played for hours. Corazón was quite clumsy, so he always lost every game while Garp and Sengoku looked like a couple of dinosaurs wanting to hold the controls. It was always fun when the kids wanted to show them how to play.

In that instant, he remembered that Sabo didn't know anything about his life or who he lived with. Maybe Koala had told him a little, but he supposed he should now. It was a good way to start talking.

"I moved in with Garp," he explained. "We also live with Sengoku, his son Rosinante and his son Law. Lots of people, but it's fine."

"You ended up getting along with the old man in the end, didn't you?" Sabo asked, resting his head on his hand. "He was good, even though we were scared of him, remember?"

Ace sighed in agreement. Now he got along with Garp, but they did fight every now and then.

"I guess Luffy softened him up a bit," he said, shrugging his shoulders not knowing what to say. "And how's your... life?"

He felt a bit foolish asking that question, but how was he supposed to say it? He had always had those doubts inside his head, but he didn't want to sound too intrusive. Ace spent entire nights thinking about Sabo, especially those times where Luffy couldn't sleep and had to stay awake with him when he was a baby.

"Me?" He asked as if he wasn't ready to answer, but he still did. "Well... it's fine. I moved here two years ago and met Koala in college. I work and did an exchange program in London, I came back recently. I'm still studying Communication Sciences anyway."

Ace listened attentively to each word and allowed himself to watch him a little longer as he spoke. When they were children, Sabo had started growing his hair long, but he always had to cut it out of necessity. Now the wild blond locks fell over his face, except for the right side of his head where he was shaved. He also noticed piercings in his ears, although Ace had gotten some too, but they didn't give him that _rebellious_ look.

Something else he noticed was that Sabo was just a little taller than him, although sitting down you couldn't tell the difference. His body was much wider and his back was large. Ace remembered when they were younger and had similar sizes, which changed now that they were in their twenties. It didn't bother him to realize that, but rather it made him a little nostalgic.

"Do you want to be a journalist?" Ace asked in amazement and smiled. "I think you're doing well, I went for chemistry."

"Oh? It's cool, I remember you were good at numbers."

"And you loved reading, don't you want to be a writer anymore?"

"Wow, you remember that." Sabo looked shocked and Ace felt embarrassed, but nodded. "I still write, but at the moment I have only published notes for the media where I work, although they are all on social and cultural issues."

"They must be interesting, I'd like to read them."

"I can send it to you."

Sabo took his cell phone and sent him a link to the page where he worked. 'Amphibia Magazine' was called and he also told him that he had a podcast called 'The Red Bonfire' where he talked about politics and culture. It amazed him to know so many things about him in that instant. Apparently he had a good job and was enjoying it. He promised to investigate later.

He smiled in a very honest way as they talked. That moment was nice and he almost forgot all the tension he had while walking towards that place. Being with Sabo had always made him feel comfortable and it was also a lot of fun, it was beautiful and terrifying for him to realize that that had not changed.

His coffee arrived and Sabo ordered one without milk. Ace made a comment about how he could drink it like this and received the reply that he had to spend many hours studying and reading without a break, so he got used to black coffee.

They talked a little more about trivial things. Sabo told him about his job and the exchange program he did, which Ace found fascinating. He even seemed to be doing well in college, even though he was a few years away from finishing his degree. Instead Ace told him that he was just starting chemistry, that he had to delay finishing high school and starting college because he had a son. In that instant he remembered the main topic that brought him there, but should he say it now?

The coffee shop began to fill with more people who were going to eat and they were talking very loudly. He felt too uncomfortable to bring up the subject.

"I also fell behind in high school after the accident, but I was able to catch up," Sabo commented, drawing Ace's attention. "I assumed you didn't know, but I was in a coma for a few months because of an accident. That's where I got the scar." He pointed to the left side of his face. "It took me a while to rehab, I left my parents' house and moved. I tried to contact you, but... you were already gone."

He had to bite the inside of his cheek so the scowl on his face wouldn't change. He slowly breathed because it was not the time to be dominated by memories of the past, but reliving it made him feel sick.

"I heard you had an accident, but not much else," he said and drank some of his coffee, trying to distract himself. "I even went to your house to look for you, but your family didn't want to tell me anything and after that I went with Garp."

That seemed something too far away, as if he had lived it in another dimension, but it was not like that.

"Then Luffy came into my life and everything happened very quickly," he said, thinking about that dark time where he had such a bad time. Sabo had also had a bad time and now they were both there apparently better, but deep down they were both still very damaged.

"I didn't know you went..." Sabo muttered dejectedly looking at his mug. "I thought you left after what happened. I was thinking of running away to find you, but... that's when the accident happened."

Nor did he feel able to meet his gaze. That still hurt, no matter how many years have passed. The way they parted was very tortuous and it was still difficult to think about it without hurting.

"That's not important, Sabo," he said, almost sighing and looked at him with a tired expression. "Now you're fine and luckily you don't live with them anymore. You were very brave and... I'm seriously happy to know that you were able to overcome that."

He was very sincere with his words, because seeing him well meant a great relief to his conscience, but he felt a little guilty when he thought that he went through something so horrible for him. Their relationship had been problematic from the beginning, many times he thought that they shouldn't have let everything flow that way, but at the same time he didn't regret it. They took a few moments where they were silent, too much to think and reflect.

"So you live with Koala?" He asked, trying to sound casual to cut a bit of the tension of that moment.

"Yeah, we rented together after the first year," Sabo replied. "She is a good friend and we both respect our spaces."

He nodded, showing that he had heard. Ever since he saw them together outside his house, he had an idea crossing his head, but he didn't know if it was okay to ask or not.

"Ah... so you are not dating?" He finally said and felt a little foolish for asking that, but he wanted to know. It was because of her that they had just met again. Ace had also been his boyfriend, or something like that, there was nothing wrong with him asking, right? "I mean... you look good together."

"No, no," he replied, laughing. "She's my friend."

That caught his attention, because they really looked close, although Sabo might not want to tell him. He shouldn't be meddling in his life anyway.

"And you?" He asked and Ace looked at him without understanding what he said. "Are you dating someone?"

He didn't want to answer that question, but he wasn't in a position to refuse. He drank some more coffee finishing it and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Something like that..." he answered, thinking of Smoker, but he didn't want to talk about it too much. "It wasn't easy, but... he's good."

He thought about the dates he had with that man, how he felt with him and how well he got along with Luffy. Even Corazon and the old men appreciated him. It was nice to be with Smoker, but it was so different from his relationship with Sabo. He shouldn't think about that.

They were silent and he could see Sabo's face in surprise, as if he had just said something that he really did not expect to hear.

"That's great," he said with a smile that squeezed his chest. "Is he Luffy's father?"

Ace gritted his teeth at that question. _You are his father,_ he thought but couldn't say. Could it be that Sabo suspected something? He wasn't sure, but it would make sense for him to do so, and that very idea made an anxious lump in his throat. What if he told him that Smoker was the father? It would be strange, he inevitably imagined, but Ace would never lie to him.

"It's... complicated," he sighed, feeling like a coward for not saying things up front. He looked at his finished coffee and then at Sabo. "Does it bother you if we go to talk elsewhere?"

He noticed that he was surprised by his request, but the very idea of saying something so _shocking_ in that place made him even more nervous. So they asked for the bill and left. He put on his coat again and pulled on his scarf as the freezing cold hit his face. It was already dusk.

"Do you want to come home?" Sabo asked and Ace looked at him shocked by that proposal. Was he really inviting him? Maybe Sabo thought he took it the wrong way, because he kept talking. "Koala works late today, but you can come when she is home if you want."

The thought of postponing that talk for another day made him feel nauseous. If he left now, he wasn't sure he could muster up the courage to see Sabo again and tell him the truth. It was not the best idea to be alone in a confined space, although he didn't think that something between them was going to happen, but perhaps it was preferable that way.

He agreed to go and they both went to the apartment Sabo shared with Koala.


	23. Chapter 23

The journey was quick. They just took a bus and got off near the building. Ace didn't speak much because he got deep into his thoughts and pondered if he was doing the right thing.

Sabo seemed fine, away from his parents and building a career in something he was passionate about. Luffy was growing well just having him as a father. So was it necessary to create all this drama?

He could not live in peace knowing that he hid something so important. Sabo had the right to know his son and Luffy to enjoy his other father. Who was he to deny them that? Ace felt very tormented in that instant, so much so that he almost forgot to get off the elevator when they reached the floor and Sabo had to call him to pay attention to reality again.

When he opened the door he was surprised by the apartment. The living room received him with just an armchair and a large wooden table with six chairs. There were some shelves with books, many books, and a television. It was hardly decorated, except for a couple of candles on the table that gave color to the place, which had very light tones on the floor and walls.

Sabo closed the door and turned on the lights as Ace watched. He noticed a small door that he guessed would be the kitchen and a hallway with three more doors — which he guessed would be the bedrooms and the bathroom. It was spacious, enough for two people to live.

"It's nice," he mentioned looking around the apartment and took off his coat to put it on the couch. "You seem to live very orderly, although now you look like a _punk_."

He couldn't help but laugh at his comment and hoped Sabo didn't mind. He saw him smile too as he took off his coat and took his to hang it up.

"Koala convinced me to cut it like that. She said it made me look badass.”

That was fun to imagine. He saw him touch his hair and Ace found himself biting his lip.

"The rebellious look looks good on you," he said, smiling and Sabo returned the gesture.

"You also look good with longer hair," he commented, causing Ace to touch his own hair. "You didn't like having it like this before."

Ace shrugged as he crossed his arms.

"It's not something that matters much to me anymore, how I look and... that."

He wasn't going to explain to Sabo all the problems and therapy he had to go through to accept himself. It was a continuous, everyday job, but he was doing much better than when he was fourteen.

"That's great." Sabo seemed happy to hear it. "Ehm… It's a bit late, isn't it? Would you like something for dinner?"

He hadn't watched the time, but he did suppose it was late, although he didn't know if it was late enough for dinner. He followed Sabo into the kitchen, which was small, but had everything one needed and a door to a balcony.

"You cook?" He asked, very surprised. "When we were kids you were useless, I can't believe you learned."

Since he was a child, Ace had learned to be independent and fend for himself while Sabo acquired these things now after parting ways from his wealthy family.

"I learned a bit when I moved in, but Koala takes care of that the most," Sabo said with a laugh. “Anyway, she showed me various recipes. I make delicious mashed potatoes, don't underestimate me."

Ace laughed at his comment. Anyone could make mashed potatoes, but he didn't want to blow his spirits down. He agreed to dinner and started peeling the potatoes to help. He always knew how to cook, but since he had Luffy he had to learn even more. Luckily, at home he was not alone and Rosi or the old men cooked too, it didn't depend only on him. However, he did have to be careful that Luffy didn't eat any weird thing. At least he wasn't a picky eater and accepted anything.

"Do you cook for Luffy?" Sabo asked. "Koala told me that he eats a lot."

"He's a beast," he replied about his son and the savage way he ate, though he laughed at the thought because they were both the same. "I cook for him most of the time, although so does Rosi or one of the old men."

He peeled the potatoes pretty quickly and Sabo put them to a boil. Ace watched him as he prepared the meat to cook in the oven.

"He would love this food," Ace mentioned with a smile thinking of Luffy. "Did you really like him when you met him?"

That encounter had spun in his head nonstop. He thought about asking the children or Koala, but chose not to.

Sabo smiled as he finished putting everything to cook.

"He's a nice boy," he said, looking back at Ace. "When I met him, he made me feel like I already knew him. I think it's because he's your son and he looks like you."

He felt his lower lip tremble and he bit it. Luffy was nice to everyone, but he would have liked to witness that moment, although he didn't know if he could have endured it. He took a deep breath as he stretched the sleeves of his sweater to cover his cold hands and cross his arms over his chest, a little habit he had when he was nervous and because of the weather, although the atmosphere was quite warm.

He left the kitchen for a moment to look around the house and got lost in the books Sabo had. Many were from fiction, philosophy, different studies and even some comics. He laughed as he pulled out a Star Wars graphic novel and opened it. A couple of times he had seen those comics in bookstores, but he did not imagine finding them in that library.

He remembered in that instant that he still had one of Sabo’s books among his things. Should he give it back? Would he remember where they were? That didn't seem very important after all the years that passed.

"Someone got me those a while ago," Sabo explained, appearing next to him talking about the novels. "You can take them to read, if you want."

Ace shook his head as he looked at the pages of the comic.

"Have you seen the new movies?" Ace asked, thinking about the new Star Wars trilogy and Sabo's face let him know his opinion.

"Nothing like the first trilogy," he replied, and they both agreed. "Do you remember when we used to watch them?"

"Terminator, Back to the Future, Matrix, Mean Girls; we watched a lot of things," he laughed, they had several movie marathons. "I thought about making Luffy watch Star Wars, but maybe when he's a little older, I'll try to protect him so he doesn't know that Darth Vader is Luke's father."

"I'd like to be there," Sabo spoke with a laugh as he thought of the boy being surprised by the spoiler-free movie. "Wanna watch something? The food is still cooking."

This wasn’t right and Ace knew it.

He was supposed to be there to talk about Luffy, not to have dinner, talk, and watch movies. They looked like in the middle of a date, but Ace couldn't say that he was entirely upset with the situation.

They went to the couch and watched Netflix on TV. They went through the series and movies while saying what they liked, what they didn't, and they wasted so much time looking at the catalog that the food was ready before they decided to put something on.

He helped Sabo put things on the table and they put a random episode from a random sitcom series that they paid no attention to. The food was good, the meat well seasoned, and the mashed potatoes made him lick his lips. It was a simple, but delicious dinner.

He offered to wash the dishes when they finished and he didn't even know the time. Sure it was late, very late, and he kept wasting his time. After he finished, he dried his hands and returned to the living room. Sabo was sitting on the couch while using his cell phone and the television was still on.

It was time, there was nothing else to distract them from what was important. He took a deep breath to encourage himself and sat down next to him.

"It’s done," he said, referring to the dishes. He took his cell phone to check the time. It was almost nine thirty. "It's late, time has passed quickly."

"You must leave?"

"Not yet... I wanted to talk." He put the cell phone away and looked at his hands wondering what he should say. They had been talking very entertainingly all evening, but now he didn't know what words to use. "I didn't… I had a rough time when we parted. I know I should have looked for you, but I wasn't in the _best shape_ and having to deal with Luffy only made things more complicated. I wasn't prepared to have him or to go through all that being a father entails. So when I felt strong again, several years passed and I am sorry I didn't try to contact you."

It made him feel really guilty thinking about that. Many times he considered whether he should try looking for him. Garp and Sengoku offered it to him, but he refused because he was afraid of meeting Sabo again. He was afraid of having to tell him the truth and feeling rejected, he was scared of exactly that moment that was about to happen and his heart beat in panic, but he tried to resist it.

Sabo seemed concerned for him and was quick to stop his words.

"Don't worry," he said. "You also had a bad time. I know it won't have been easy for you to deal with everything alone. I would have liked to be there to support you and... it's not too late."

Those last words confused Ace and he looked at him puzzled without understanding what he meant.

"I mean we don't live that far away," Sabo continued nervously. "We can be… friends again."

Without realizing it, he shook his head. They couldn't be friends, at least not at the moment. There was a lot to talk about and a lot to heal before thinking of such a thing.

"I don't think we can be friends," he said, almost in a painful whisper. "Many things happened and I... Oh, this is so difficult."

He ran both hands over his face feeling exhausted. They had had a great time ignoring the elephant in the room all day, but they couldn't do it anymore. It was time to be honest.

"If you can't be my friend..." Sabo continued, licking his lips nervously, he looked just as serious and dismayed as he. "We can be the other thing. What we always were."

What?

Ace felt his face turn pale when he heard it and had the impression that Sabo didn't say that, that he misunderstood, but his hand on his confirmed it.

No. No. No.

They weren't supposed to have this conversation. This was not how it should happen, but he didn’t expect that after so long Sabo would continue to feel something for him, he did not imagine that it could happen. The beating of his racing heart stunned him and he couldn't answer anything. He stood motionless feeling his hand squeeze him and a part of him wanted to die, because deep within him an emotion was awakened that he believed had been buried.

"After what happened to us, everything was... difficult," Sabo whispered, moving closer to him. "I don't want to tell you it's going to be like before, but we could... we could try."

A heart attack would be the best way to describe what he felt at that moment. His chest clenched and he looked away feeling unable to say anything. He couldn't say yes, for many reasons, but he didn't want to say no either. His eyes burned and he nearly choked on breathing.

"I can't... We can't," Ace said, removing Sabo's hand. "You say that because you just found me, but I'm not like before and... Luffy is also there."

Luffy. He was the important thing and the reason they were there, not because of them, but those memories were bound to arise. Their relationship had an unexpected break and, apparently, neither of them had finished healing or getting over what happened.

"I know, Ace," he interrupted. "I always liked you for your essence and that does not change. What I like the most about you is what makes you you. And Luffy... he's a great kid and I like him. I know I'm not going to be able to replace his other father," Sabo insisted, approaching him dangerously, "but I promise to respect him and your relationship with him. I don't care about anything else."

Those words left him shocked, so much so that he barely noticed the exact moment where Sabo took his face and closed the distance between them. Ace remained frozen as he felt that pressure on his mouth. He knew this wasn't right, but he didn't have the strength to pull away. For an instant, he was back to being a fourteen-year-old boy kissing his best friend as they discovered a myriad of terrifying and beautiful emotions.

His trembling hands clutched at Sabo's clothes and his mouth dropped open. He wasn't supposed to do this, but it felt so good that he couldn't help but be a little selfish. For an instant, as he closed his eyes, he forgot that they were no longer two teenagers experimenting locked in a room. In that fantasy they had neither suffered nor separated, Sabo was not in a coma nor Ace had a baby. Everything was beautiful as back then, as unreal as it was.

"Sabo..." he sighed, barely separating himself and came back hugging that boy by the neck to kiss him again. He wanted to have that fantasy for a while longer.

And Ace relaxed. He dropped his guard and whatever barrier he had put up towards Sabo was gone. He felt him place his hands on his waist and he shuddered. Their mouth moved making wet noises and they bit their lips with a hunger that didn’t correspond to that moment they were living. Not even the fake laughs of the comedy on TV were enough to bring them back to reality and make them regret it.

As soon as they pulled away, Sabo kissed his face and moved to his neck without wanting to stop tasting it. Was it the longing for the years that had passed or because he was also afraid that if they stopped touching, all that dreamlike moment would crack in his hands? Ace squeezed his eyes tight and held onto Sabo's back because he really didn't want that to happen, not yet.

"You are as beautiful as ever," he whispered with his mouth against his neck and Ace felt his skin crawl, "even more than before, more beautiful than ever."

He squeezed Sabo's sweater in his hands and bit his lip. He couldn't tell him that so easily, especially when he was kissing him like that. He was the first person that said things like that to him and his body remembered him fondly. He cocked his head giving him more space on his neck to carry on.

"You're beautiful... sexy," he admitted feeling ashamed of his words, but he had thought about it from the moment they met again. He let his hands climb up to Sabo's hair, tangling it between his fingers. "With that punk look you look... _really good_."

He swallowed hard and gasped when he felt him bite him. That was too much. He tried to pull away when a hint of awareness crept into his mental haze.

"Sabo, we can't," he said, his voice a thread, he almost seemed to speak with a sigh and his arms were weak, so much so that he couldn't push it away. He didn't really want to push him away, and Sabo noticed. "I have to go… "

"Stay, Ace," he murmured in his ear. "Stay with me."

His erratic breathing was only accentuated by hearing him. He didn’t understand how he could sound so sensual and at the same time with a certain affection mixed between lust and emotion about to explode. Ace felt weak and stupid. At what point did he think he would be able to handle the situation with Sabo? He hadn't made any progress since he was fourteen, he was still the same silly boy totally hooked on his best friend. It was pathetic.

He pushed those thoughts away when Sabo's mouth molded back to his. Beautiful memories swirled in his chest as he placed his arms around his neck and felt caresses on his waist. He was so happy at the time, so free, that he almost thought this was all part of a dream. Kissing Sabo and touching him was like going back to that moment where he was another person, someone without so many ties that prevented him from moving forward.

Ace got carried away by that river that would end up dragging him into a sea where he would drown. Maybe later, when he got out of the water, everything would be better, but he doubted it.

The kisses became more demanding. There was a lot of hunger and longing in each of their touches. Sabo's hands moved to his legs and Ace left him. He allowed everything. He circled Sabo's waist and let Sabo lift him from the sofa. He was strong, much stronger than he had imagined, because he carried him with incredible ease and, in an instant, he landed on a bed that smelled of Sabo. They were in his bed and this could only go one place.

His jaw twitched, because a part of him knew that letting go would only complicate everything, but his aroused body didn't let him think hard. The reasoning he had stored inside was completely extinguished when he let Sabo place himself between his legs as when they were teenagers.

He had no idea when Koala would arrive or if they could do that there. Ace forgot everything during those moments. There was no guilt, there was no anguish or fear; only heat, fire, loaded with many feelings that neither of them dared to reproduce aloud.

Ace licked his lips as Sabo attacked his neck once more and stroked his back again. He was wide, he looked massive, and he wanted to see him without clothes. He put his hands under the sweater, the shirt, until he found skin and scratched it, obtaining a pleasant moan in return.

"You're sexy," Sabo whispered, outlining his figure with his hands and stopping at his waist. "And my body remembers yours so well."

He felt that hand venture under his clothes, travel up his abdomen, and wince when he wanted to climb.

"My body changed," he warned when he felt like he wanted to touch him more. "I had a baby and grew up, I don't look like I used to."

He didn't know what Sabo would think of him. He no longer cared much about his appearance, at least not in the same way as in the past, but it made him relive old fears that that person, who was so important, would see him again with all those different details. Would he be shocked? Would he care? Would he like it?

For some reason, he felt his words increased Sabo's vigor. A chill ran through him when he saw how his eyes shone with fervor. He took a deep breath as he felt his strong hands run up his hip and felt the hungry desire he unfolded when he licked his lips looking at him.

His heart hit his chest in a painful way as he felt how his body was increasingly exposed. Sabo slipped his clothes off and Ace clenched his hands, digging his nails into flesh when he met his bare torso. He was expectant about what he might say to him, but no words reached his ears. He let him know what he was thinking through the touch.

The kisses moved to his shoulders and then down to his chest. Sabo said nothing, just used his mouth and hands to touch him while Ace's wrist twisted in a rueful gesture. He didn't hold back the gasp that came out of him and his body arched up wanting to feel it more.

He clung to the bed sheets and his hips lifted, because he liked it and wanted more. Sabo put one leg between his for him to rub. The clothes were so annoying and the way they attacked his chest was so maddening that Ace felt like he couldn't take it for long.

His body wasn't as sensitive and unexplored as it was at fourteen, but it didn't feel that way at the time. Since they kissed, all those lost years have receded and each touch caused their skin to catch fire.

"Ah, Sabo..." he moaned already without any shame. Because he liked it and he wanted it too.

That hand that touched him went down his body to the hem of his pants. He wanted to get them out, but if he did there would be no going back. Was there at this point? Ace didn't have the strength to refuse or the desire to. Maybe it was like that since he arrived at that house or since they met.

“Can I do it?" Sabo asked, raising his head to see him, his fingers caressing the edge of the fabric.

"Only if you do it too," he answered demandingly because he didn't want to be the only one naked and he was also a little curious to see it.

Sabo smiled at him and gave him a kiss before taking off his clothes. He took a deep breath as he looked at his body. He remembered it from his teens, but he was so much bigger now and he bit his lip checking it out. His eyes traveled over the scars and marks that weren't on his skin before, but Sabo surely was seeing his as well.

They both took everything off and the nervousness was palpable. He kind of yearned for that confidence they used to have when they undressed, but maybe it made sense to feel that anxiety after all the time and the things that happened.

"You're still warm," he mentioned that when Sabo came back between his legs and they hugged. The touch of his skin caused an almost orgasmic tingle under his belly and he was only sure he wanted more of it.

He ran his fingertips over that skin with so much history that he didn’t know about and that at the same time he remembered very clearly. He hugged Sabo and flexed his tense legs when he felt him thrust gently against him, like when they rubbed the same way as two inexperienced children, but it felt very different.

Ace was aware of how wet he was when he took off his clothes and Sabo touched him. His hand lowered and opened his folds with abysmal slowness to caress him. He ran his fingers up and down, slowly, tracing his wetness. Several long, loud moans escaped his narrowed lips. Sabo was no longer shy as when they were children. He was always curious, but inexperience made him afraid to touch and explore; now it was the opposite. The confidence with which that hand touched him made him flinch and arch. He wanted more, all of him.

"Do you like it that way, Ace?" He asked hoarsely as his fingers caressed him, tracing the same path and getting wet. "Soft and slow?"

Those words, the touches, everything; they made him tremble, melt and send away the inhibitions that prevented him from fully enjoying what they were experiencing.

"Yes, yes," he said plaintively, moving against those fingers. "Do it."

His voice came from his throat as a mixture of plea and demand. He no longer feared pain as when he was a child, nor was he ashamed because he touched him in those places, because he liked it and embraced that enjoyment as something incredible. It was his body and he no longer denied it —as much— it was with Sabo that he began to accept and love himself that way, and now he wanted to feel it again.

They were no longer brats full of doubts, at least not so many in questions of how to do it. He gritted his teeth when he felt him insert a finger into him and it was good, _very good_ , he even felt it slide inside him because of how wet he was.

Sabo's hands were big and they touched him safely, firmly, very different from what he remembered. The fingers inside him were tighter and he drowned out several moans in desperate kisses.

"You like it?" Sabo asked over his mouth.

Those fingers were driving him crazy. He slid a hand down his body to rub his clit as Sabo touched him inside. He had no shame about touching himself, because he knew himself and knew what he liked, what gave him pleasure, and that should not embarrass him. He swallowed hard as he received more kisses from Sabo. It was so sensual the way he was touching him and the things he was saying were making him lose his mind.

"I love it," he said, his voice a thread, broken like him. "Ah, Sabo…"

Between moans his body twisted and contracted on Sabo's fingers, arching violently when he reached an orgasm that was too pleasant and unexpected that lashed him with violence. He breathed hard and stroked himself enjoying that relaxing sensation. He complained when the fingers left his body and he heard a wet noise. He still felt aroused and he sought Sabo's lips to kiss him and show him.

His body felt a bit lethargic but not enough to want to walk away. His arms clung to Sabo's neck as their bodies rubbed again. He felt Sabo was very aroused and Ace teased him by moving his hips against him. The friction was frantic, maddening, but he found a pleasant pleasure to hear him moan between his lips.

Sabo turned away from him looking at him exalted and his blonde hair messed up by Ace's hands.

"Do you want to?" He asked doubtfully, looking at him and Ace nodded without any hesitation.

Sabo didn’t approach him again to do so. His gaze followed him as he reached over to the nightstand to fumble the drawer deeply with one hand.

"I know it was here," he heard him mutter. After searching he found what he wanted: a condom.

He gulped when he saw it. It was no longer alien to him and he knew it was necessary to do it. Maybe they needed those sex ed talks when they were younger. He was still shocked at their inexperience back then and all the nonsense they did, but it was no longer worth lamenting. When he approached again, several questions formed in his head. Where would Sabo have learned? Have he had complicated situations? Did someone he was with explain it to him? Internet? This was not the time to ask.

He gave him more space between his legs and waited while he put the condom on. He bit his lip when he felt him enter. He already knew the feel of latex and longed for when it was different, but he wouldn't deny using it. They had already made a mistake before and now Luffy existed because of it. Ace hid his face in Sabo's neck hugging him wanting to push those thoughts away. He just wanted to enjoy that moment a little more.

He scratched his back with his fingernails when he fully entered and felt shaken.

"I'm fine," Ace assured him confidently. It hurt a little, but Sabo waited for him. He was aware that as they moved he would get used to it. “You can continue.”

"Let me know," he warned softly against his lips with that same concern he had always shown for him.

When he adapted better to feeling him inside, he picked up the pace. It was more intense, passionate and strong than they have ever done. Sabo went back to kissing and biting his neck, his shoulders, as he thrusted. He didn't want to imagine the amount of marks, teeth, and bruises that would appear on his skin. And Ace kissed him too, because he wanted Sabo to wear the same brands as a result of that unexpected and highly desired task.

Clumsy memories of his adolescence assailed him, where they did things very awkwardly but also with a lot of love. His legs clung to Sabo's hip hugging him and he demanded more.

He loved that and him. His skin told him he hadn't been able to forget him.

There were too many stimuli together and he didn't know how to assimilate them. Having met Sabo again and this happening overcame him. He held on as he thrusted into his warm body. His fingers touched the skin and his teeth ripped flesh along with his nails leaving scratches that made him proud when he made them. Sabo seemed delighted by that moment moving with great force, he heard him moan, gasp and complain while he whispered that he was beautiful and that he liked him.

What little sanity he had was about to break and Ace was willing to accept the consequences of his actions.

He purposely contracted his insides because he knew Sabo would like that and his skin tickled when he heard him moan. The whole moment was a guilty pleasure . No matter how immoral it was, he wanted to continue. He slid a hand between them to touch himself again as Sabo continued to thrust into him. He had a burning desire to have another orgasm with him inside him and the very idea, along with the intensity of the moment, drove him to that.

Sabo was no stranger to those feelings. Ace had already come once, he on the other hand seemed about to explode at any moment and it seemed beautiful to perceive it that way.

"Ace," he growled warningly. "I'm not going to hold on... Touch yourself more."

He sighed when he heard it. Even at this moment so close to climax, Sabo seemed concerned about him and how he felt.

He felt him go faster and he touched himself at that rhythm until he moaned loudly feeling that he was reaching that point of no return again. Sabo squeezed him hard and hid behind his neck when he came as well. It was a glorious and beautiful moment, like when they were young, like when they made Luffy but Sabo didn't know it.

Those thoughts cut off his enjoyment completely. Sabo kept panting on his skin as he caught his breath and Ace kept hugging him without saying or doing anything as he thought.

He was supposed to come to talk to him, not to do this, how was he so rubbish to let himself be carried away by his own pleasures and not tell him anything? He didn't deserve to have had such an enjoyable time as that.

Sabo pulled away to remove the condom and toss it. He felt him come back to him, maybe he wanted to hug him, sleep or even do it again but Ace walked away and sat on the bed looking at him. His eyes had a serious and anguished expression that surely confused Sabo.

"There's something you need to know," Ace said bluntly, his heart pounding. It was better now. He had to say it and then he would see what to do. "Luffy is your son."


	24. Chapter 24

In the end he did drop the bomb without giving a damn. Before meeting Sabo, he thought of many ways in which to tell him the truth about Luffy, but he definitely would have never considered this one. The situation got the best of him. All those pleasant moments that they shared, the talks, the memories, the dinner, the words that Sabo said to him... Everything was put into a cursed loop where he lost sight of why he was there. He let himself be intoxicated by those sweet kisses with the flavor of childhood, the moments where he was happiest, but he could no longer allow himself to enjoy that dream.

_'Luffy is your son.'_

His words seemed to destroy the room in that instant. They were like lightning that fell in the middle of that bed and split it in half, forming an abyss between them. The air grew chilly and Ace felt cold, but was unable to move as he waited for Sabo's reaction.

With macabre slowness, he watched that boy's face become disfigured as he processed the words he said. He saw the confusion on his face and felt like disappearing, but he had to be there to answer all the questions he owed him, to justify himself and accept his guilt.

"What?" Sabo asked, his words barely leaving his mouth. "Luffy... is my...?"

Ace gritted his teeth when he heard him mutter like that, but he didn't back down. Determination flashed in his eyes and the sight of him was all it took Sabo to know he was telling the truth.

He saw him get out of bed and grab his hair as he paced nervously, trying to control everything on his mind, or so Ace believed. He waited until he spoke to him again and didn't dare to mention anything else.

"Are you serious?"

That question hurt, but he understood. Sabo had the right to think what he wanted if it had to be fair.

"I would never lie about anything that had to do with Luffy," he said seriously. Sabo knew him, no matter how many years had passed, and he was aware that he would not lie in such a situation.

He still looked incredulous and that expression on his face hurt him. Ace thought that maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Sabo had a good life, at least much better than the one he had with his parents, and now it was falling apart. Although that was what Ace felt when he met Sabo again. After years of suffering with his body, with the upbringing of his son and his life, he achieved a stability that was very difficult for him to achieve but Sabo had kicked it when he appeared.

"I'm sorry, Sabo," Ace murmured, feeling the whole moment overwhelm him. "It was very difficult for me to accept it, I was very afraid, I even thought about aborting, then giving him up for adoption and... I had a horrible time, but I thought about you all the time. Garp even told me that we could look for you, but I was terrified to think of telling you, and your parents threw me out! I didn't know if you were going to want me to appear in your life again, but now that I saw you again and I knew you knew Luffy... I can't lie to you."

He pulled the covers tight as he said that and felt his eyes fill with tears. He didn't want to cry, but it was impossible not to. That meeting moved him to the most sensitive fiber of his being. All the stored memories and emotions came to light without him being able to prevent it. The person he loved madly, the father of his child, and his childhood best friend was now in front of him looking at him with an expression as if he didn’t know him.

Ace felt like a monster in that instant for what he did, but it shouldn't be like that. It wasn't all his fault, was it? He just made a few mistakes like anyone else, but he seriously tried to do his best, it wasn't his intention for it to end like this.

"How did you not tell me when we met?" Sabo snapped. "Or at the bar? Or here? It's not just a silly thing, you're saying I have a son. And that I already met him!"

Sabo grabbed his head and sat on the bed not knowing what to think. Ace couldn't answer those questions, because he didn't know why he didn't say it before, he just didn't have the courage and the situation got out of hand.

"You were asking me if I liked him, we talked about him. What were you waiting for, Ace? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I had no idea you knew each other!" He snapped loudly, hurt, his face wet with his tears. "And when I saw you... I was shocked, and it's not such an easy thing to say. I tried, that's why I came here, I didn't expect everything… to end like this.

"You had all day to tell me, at least you would have done it before we ended up in bed."

"Oh well, excuse me for having forced you to sleep with me," he muttered, annoyed and ironic, but he was already unable to bear this.

The frustration that ran through his body in that instant was immense. He got up to find his clothes and to get dressed quickly without looking at Sabo. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, because he knew that everything would end even worse if he stayed. He swallowed a million things he wanted to say, but knew they would only end up fighting even worse.

He turned his back on Sabo as he changed and felt Sabo approach him, but when he turned around he saw him dressing too, maybe it was his imagination. His subconscious playing with him, making him believe that Sabo would come closer to hug him like a few moments ago and they would speak in good terms, but of course that wouldn’t happen.

They went to the door when he got dressed and took his things. Sabo seemed so gone, like a ghost, that Ace felt worried, but couldn't do anything for him either. At that moment, being together hurt them. No one could say that just a few moments ago they had enjoyed themselves together in bed.

"I'm a responsible person," Sabo snapped, glaring at him. "I want to be present. But I ask you to give me a day to think about all this and to settle my life."

"I'm also responsible and I have taken care of my son very well," he clarified firmly so that he wouldn't forget that he took care of Luffy all that time and suffered horrible things to be able to have him, but he could not blame Sabo for being upset either. "I wouldn't have wanted it to be this way, I just... I also need to think."

He didn't know how he felt about what had happened between them and how things would go now. He struggled to breathe and not have a nervous breakdown as long as he was there with him.

"Goodbye, Sabo," he said, opening the door to leave, to flee, because he could no longer bear it.

When he was on the street he walked quickly without any direction and could not hold it anymore. He wept, letting the tears run down his face, and sobbed with his broken voice. His chest ached and he felt agitated. He stopped at the door of some building, he had no idea where he was or how to get home at that moment. He only slid onto the cold floor in the middle of the night and sat on the sidewalk until his breathing normalized.

How could this have happened? Everything had gone terribly wrong! He was a complete idiot. He shouldn't have let Sabo get under his skin again.

He shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair and tugged it in frustration.

He shouldn't have said it at the time either, but he couldn't hold it back anymore. He felt horrible, a hypocrite, to be having sex and enjoying it without having told him that important truth. Ace felt that if he waited longer, it would be worse. The words came out of his mouth like verbal vomit that he couldn't control. At least he had said it, but at the worst time.

What should he do now? Tell Luffy? Wait for Sabo to talk to him? Pretend nothing happened?

He felt his cell phone ring at that moment and he took it without really noticing who was calling him.

"Ace?" Rosinante's voice was heard on the other side, concerned. "How are you? It's late now, are you okay?"

A few moments passed where his voice did not come out and when he wanted to speak only a sound of lament escaped his tense lips.

"Rosi…" he murmured, his voice a mess. "I blew it… I told him and it all went wrong."

Corazón knew that he was going to meet with Sabo and Ace imagined that he would be waiting for what happened, but it was already almost eleven at night and Ace hadn’t said a thing.

"Ace, tell me where you are," he said with seriousness and concern in his voice. "Give me your location and I'll go find you, can you do that?"

"Yes…"

"Well, don't move and I'll be right away."

Ace listened, because he didn't have the strength to do anything else. He send him his location and stood there lamenting as he had not for years. He covered his face with his hands and thought he had no idea what to do.

It wasn't long until Rosi came for him. He found him on a deserted street in a neighborhood near the university, alone and in a small ball. He looked like an abandoned and badly beaten puppy. He couldn't do more than hug him and promise that he would always have a refuge with him.

When they got into the car it didn't start. He couldn't let Ace go back like this and he couldn't talk about what happened at the house either. At home, Corazón had to get away from the rest of the family to call him when he saw what time it was and also gave an excuse to go look for him. He didn't want the others to worry in advance. He could take his time to support him.

Ace told him everything that had happened, including the part where they had sex and in the end how it all went wrong.

"Oh Ace…" Rosi sighed not knowing what to say. It was a complicated situation, but he could not blame him for anything because he himself was not an example of 'doing things right.' "Calm down, let's fix it. He was going to react like that one way or another…"

"I shouldn't have let it go that far," Ace said hoarsely from crying. "Before he said he wanted to be with me again, but now... I don't think he wants to see me even in a photo."

"And you wanted to be with him?"

"No..." He answered with some doubt because there was a reason why they had ended up having sex, but he instantly shook his head to avoid thinking about that. It was a slip. "It will not happen. I have to think about Luffy and… see what to do with this."

Rosi had no words to comfort him. Luckily, Ace had a much more focused mind than in the past and knew what the important things were.

"Everything will be fine," Rosinante assured him, smiling at him. "Give him time and also give it to you. Then you will solve it with a cool head."

Ace knew he was right and nodded. He accepted the support that Rosi gave him and knew that it wouldn’t be the same if he didn’t have it. Now a tough battle was coming, but Ace didn't want to think about it. He just longed to get home and sleep holding his baby.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Around midnight, Koala returned home. That day she had to train a night group and she was always very tired. Luckily, the next day she didn't have to go to class early and could rest. She hoped that Sabo, at least, had made dinner. She was starving and very sleepy. Could she continue watching the series that her friends recommended? Perhaps, although she felt very tired. She should also review her schedule to coordinate work so she can give herself time to study. She was more tired of just thinking that.

When she entered her house, she was surprised to find everything dark. Had Sabo gone to sleep? That was weird. Normally her friend stayed up late. She always saw him write, plan his notes or take care of his work in Amphibia. Could it be that he had gone out?

Koala saw her roommate's coat and keys when she turned on the light. She also found some empty beer bottles on the table and frowned. They had been there since a previous meeting with friends, but neither she nor Sabo used to drink daily. Did he invite someone? Something was off.

Sabo was weird lately. Since the incident with Ace, which she still didn't quite understand, she noticed that he was acting strange. After that awkward moment they lived, Sabo didn't want to say anything to her and Koala reluctantly accepted it. Something was happening there and no one could make her change her mind.

She walked to his room after taking off her coat and found Sabo lying on the bed with the nightstand light illuminating him. She looked at him with an arched brow and stepped closer. He looked as if a truck had just run over him or as if he had survived a shipwreck. She saw him barely dressed in messly buttoned pants and with a lost expression. It wasn't the first time she had seen Sabo half naked or drunk, it didn't surprise her, but still she noticed that something was wrong.

"Did an alien abduct you or did you fall off a mountain?" She asked to get Sabo's attention, but Sabo seemed not to notice. "Hello, Sabo-kun~ Are you okay or do I have to call an ambulance?"

A few minutes passed where Sabo didn't answer her and Koala sat on the bed next to him. She watched carefully if he blinked and if his chest rose when he breathed, just to verify that she was not trying to speak to a corpse.

"He's my son…"

"What?" She snapped without understanding what he murmured and then Sabo looked at her speaking louder.

"Luffy," he said. "He's my son."

At first, Koala blinked thinking that Sabo had gone crazy and was talking nonsense, but she let him keep talking. She could tell that he was distraught.

"I saw Ace today," he continued. "He came here and told me… Luffy is my son."

Now it was she who had to be silent for a moment. Luffy? His son?

"WHAT?!"

She couldn't help screaming and getting up from the shock. How was Luffy his son? What did he mean by that? He must have misunderstood.

"Yeah, and I'm an idiot for not realizing it." He ran his hands over his tired face and sighed. "It's been more than four years since we practically stopped seeing each other, Luffy's age, everything coincides... The idea crossed my mind when I saw them together, but I didn't believe it... I didn't think that Ace would not look for me."

Koala heard him without saying anything and had to sit down again placing a hand on her chest to finish assimilating what he was saying. She recalled Sabo mentioning that they were childhood friends. Friends? Sure. Such good friends that they had a son.

"Are you sure?" She asked unconvinced and Sabo looked at her confused. "I mean... It was a long time, maybe you should think if it can really be yours."

She knew Ace and knew that he wasn't a bad person, that he wouldn't lie, but she also knew that maybe he might have been with other people or not. Maybe he thought he was Sabo's son but it was not certain. Although if she thought about the features of Luffy's face, she had to admit that he looked a lot like Sabo... Still, someone had to doubt it a bit.

"No." Sabo said. "I know him, Koala. I know it's true. Also, Ace wasn't with anyone at the time. It was just us and… We really had no idea what condoms were."

"Perfect recipe for unwanted pregnancies and STDs: two hot teens without a hint of sex ed."

"Don't joke, I'm not in the mood."

"Sorry, sorry."

They were quiet again for a while and she felt bad for Sabo. Rarely had she seen him this downcast and worried about something.

When she met him, they quickly became friends. He was a nice boy and, at that time, he was looking for a place to live just like her, so they ended up sharing an apartment. He worked very hard and was also doing well in college. The only thing Koala regretted about living together is that he was so messy or did things without thinking about others. Even so, they lived together well.

She learned over time that Sabo had a complicated family. He told her that he had an accident where he fell from a window and burned himself on boiling pipes. That blow left him in a coma for a short time and he had a pretty rough time. After that, he worked hard to finish high school fast and run away from home. Koala knew that every once in a while, he would get unpleasant calls from these people and Sabo wouldn't answer them.

She didn't know much more about him and she didn't want to harass him with questions. Now this new information has completely stunned her. She didn't know what to say or what to suggest.

A son. Sabo had a four-year-old son, and he was barely twenty. He was too young, but she also thought of Ace. She knew some things about him, that he had a hard time with Luffy's pregnancy and that he had problems with his identity because of it. He never knew anything about Luffy's other father and neither did she ask, but she was never going to imagine that it was her friend.

It was all very confusing and weird. Sabo should have seen Ace in one of her Instagram stories, but in that instant she remembered that his friend didn't have an account and that his favorite social network was Twitter. Of course, Koala only used Twitter to see memes and she didn't upload anything on there, she preferred Instagram while Sabo was the opposite. That explained how he never found out.

"And what are you planning to do?" Koala asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know, things didn't turn out very well."

"Don't you intend to have some sort of relation with Luffy now that you know this?"

She didn't know how to act in these cases. Perhaps she should suggest that Sabo consult a lawyer. She could tell him to talk to Hack, who was one, but he didn't seem very willing to brood on that subject. Maybe they should do visitation arrangements, child support or something like that. She had no idea what those family matters were like.

"I want to, but... things with Ace don't think they're going to advance."

"You wanted to go back together with him?"

Koala got her answer before Sabo answered and sighed. She felt a little sorry for him in that instant. The illusion of being reunited with his old love was destroyed with that huge news.

"We... We can't," he finally said. "I also think he's dating someone."

"You better rest," Koala mentioned with a smile trying to give him confidence. "Then you will think about what to do and everything will be fine, Sabo-kun. You are lucky, because Luffy is a beautiful boy."

She saw him laugh when she said that and caught a glint in his eyes. She imagined that now he would want to meet that little boy again and rediscover him as his son. As much as it was a major problem, Sabo would be fine and she would help him with whatever it took.

"Do you want me to stay here?"

It didn't always happen, but sometimes it did, especially when either of them was sad or needed support. Sabo nodded and Koala sighed silently.

She let him take refuge in her arms and in the warmth of her body until they fell asleep. The news had taken away her hunger and only the fatigue that finally defeated them lasted as soon as the lights were turned off.


	25. Chapter 25

That day he got up late and indulged himself because he felt horrible. He was supposed to study, but he would take care of that later. That day he missed his classes, he didn't feel like going and felt bad for not attending, but his head was lost anywhere and he couldn’t pay attention to anything. Ace stayed in his bed for a while and didn't even look at his cell phone to know the time, he just wanted to roll around for a while and try to forget the thoughts that had been attacking him since he returned from Sabo's house.

It had only been a day since that problem started and he still didn't know what to do.

Should he call him? Wait for him to call? He didn't know. He also thought about telling Luffy about Sabo, but wasn't sure whether to. Nor did he decide whether to tell the old men.

He had no idea what Sabo wanted either. He did tell him that he wanted to be  _ present  _ and that meant being there for Luffy, or at least Ace interpreted it that way. Sabo had said that in that moment of exaltation, but now perhaps he thought otherwise. He couldn't tell his son 'this is your father' and then be disappointed if Sabo chose not to have a relationship with him.

No. No. Sabo wasn't like that. He wasn't that kind of person. It might take more or less time, but he didn't think he would go away. Should he tell his kid then? He still wasn’t sure.

When he thought he had rolled in bed enough, he got up. Before he could get up, the four-year-old tsunami came and jumped on him while yelling 'Dad.'

"Wake up!" Luffy said as he hugged him. He was wearing his school uniform, so he assumed that he had just arrived. "Uncle said that we will eat something very good, come with us!"

Rosinante had told him that he could stay and rest today and that he would take care of the children. He took them to school early and now he brought them back. That meant it was noon and Ace had slept like a larva. He didn't know what he would do if Corazón and he didn't have each other back.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he said, yawning as he stretched out and allowed himself to hug Luffy against him tighter. "You had a good day?"

"Yes, we played a lot with Usopp and Rebecca," Luffy replied happily. "Do you know that she is Miss Viola's niece? But it is a secret, nobody can know."

"Really?" Ace said, exaggerating his surprise and laughed. "Then let's keep the secret."

"Don't tell anybody."

"I promise not to."

Ace stroked his baby's back and kissed his forehead. He was still very small, he always had been. From the first time he held him in his arms, he liked the feeling of pressing him against him. Luffy was soft and warm. He didn't want to stop hugging him.

He thought that maybe Sabo hadn't had the chance to hold him like that or appreciate the warmth that baby had. He felt bad realizing that. Because Ace went through a lot of bad things while raising Luffy, but he also enjoyed those sweet moments where his body was filled with that soft warmth and full of love.

He released Luffy to get up and thought about going to the bathroom, and at least washing his face, but the boy wouldn't let him. He was really looking forward to lunch and for Ace to eat too. Well, it's not like Law and Rosinante had never seen his zombie face as soon as they got up, they had even seen him worse.

"Well done, Luffy." Rosinante stroked the boy's head and then saw Ace. "It's not an easy task to wake you up."

He didn't say anything nor did he complain because he sent Luffy to pick him up. Rosi had his techniques to achieve his goals. He greeted and patted Law's head in the meantime. They had bought some already cooked food. The smell of roast chicken made his mouth water and his stomach rumbled along with Luffy's making them laugh.

He always complained about Luffy's hunger but Ace was the same.

He set the table with the children and they sat down to eat.

"The old men are not coming to eat?" Ace asked with a dirty face as he ate a chicken leg. He passed another to Luffy, who ate the same way.

"I think they'll come in a bit, but I've already left something for them," Rosi replied. In advance, he put food away because he knew that if he put everything on the table, there would be nothing left.

Law always ate very calmly and got angry when Luffy teased him or tried to steal what he had on his plate. Each of the meals was very noisy, worse when they were all together.

He washed the dishes after lunch while Law showed Rosinante his homework and Luffy got in the way to watch, though he didn't understand anything. Law had already learned to read and practiced continuously. He even tried teaching Luffy, but the smaller boy barely paid attention to him.

The grandparents came back making even more noise and Ace was grateful for that, because it kept him from thinking nonsense. He decided to take a shower so the hot water would sweep away the mist from his head. When he came out of the bathroom, Luffy asked him if he could see cartoons on television and Ace put some YouTube videos of the dogs that he knew the boy liked. He wouldn't last long watching them because he was so restless and his attention span was too short, but for the moment he sat watching TV with him.

He had to study. He remembered his other responsibilities and felt very lazy, but he had to capitalize on the afternoon. Could he write to his classmate Haruta? After talking a few times, they got each other’s numbers and he thought there was nothing wrong with it. The stupid social anxiety bothered him again when he wanted to send a simple message. Even so, he wrote something quickly and sent it, leaving the phone aside, until he received a positive response and several photos with the notes. When that happened, Ace wondered why he overthought so much, but that's what anxiety was like. Bon-chan had already explained this to him. In a few days he had to go see him, he had to talk about many things with him.

He was about to sit down with his notebooks to copy what his classmate had just sent him, but the doorbell rang. Who could it be? Maybe some shipment they were waiting for. Ace went to the door and when he opened it he froze when he saw who was on the other side.

"Sabo..."

He felt like he had gone white as a ghost because he hadn't expected him to be there, and his body experienced a reminiscent of the panic he experienced the first time they met.

"I came here to talk," Sabo said with a seriousness that made him wake up.

Now? Here? With the whole family inside? It must be a joke.

"You could have called me earlier," he said annoyed and looked back to see if anyone was there. "I'm not alone and... I haven't told Luffy yet."

"I thought it was better to speak in person," he replied tense and Ace got that way too. "This may be a good time to tell him."

"Did you go crazy?!" He snapped, unable to believe what he was hearing. "You can't come to pressure me like that."

"It's not right to hide a son, what's wrong with wanting him to know about me?"

Fire flashed in his eyes wanting to kill Sabo in that instant. He couldn't deny that he was a bit right in wanting Luffy to know about him, but he couldn't demand it like that! It had been less than a day since he told him. At the very least he should give him some time to think how he would say it.

"I'll talk to him when I can."

"And why not now?"

"Because he's my son and I decide!"

"It's mine too!"

"You've known him for less than a day! I have been taking care of him for four years and deciding what is better for him."

"Oh yes, and who is to blame for that?"

He really wanted to hit him in the face at that moment.

How dare he say something like that to him? Ace wasn't going to be intimidated by him, but they were interrupted. He hadn't realized that they had started yelling while arguing.

"What's all this fuss about, Ace?"

Garp's voice interrupted their fight and made his blood run cold. He thought of closing the door in Sabo's face so the old man wouldn't see him, but he didn't move. As soon as Ace turned to see him, he met the confused face of the man. It shocked him. In that instant, he knew that he should have told him what was happening earlier and not have him find out this way.

"It's you brat..." Garp murmured next to him looking at Sabo and Ace noticed that his tone of voice didn't sound at all complacent. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

"Long time no see, sir," Sabo said, annoyed in the same way. "I was talking to Ace about  **our son** ."

He wanted to hide under a rock so he wouldn't have to be there in the middle. Garp looked at him shocked and Ace didn't have much more to say to him.

Inadvertently, he ended up standing between the two preventing them from killing each other. The old man was like that, he always wanted to solve things by force. At that time, that boy was posing a threat to his family and he just wanted to kill him. For his part, Sabo wasn't intimidated and would fight if necessary. Ace couldn't believe this was happening.

Sengoku appeared to help him calm down Garp and it was a relief.

"You don't know all the shit Ace went through!" Garp snapped, looking at Sabo as Sengoku held him back. "If that child is here, it's because of him."

"I was involved too," he answered the screams enraged. "He's my son!"

"You don't know anything about being a father, you're just a brat."

"And you do? But you had no problem leaving Ace alone and visiting him once a year!"

"I'm going to kill you..."

"ENOUGH!" Ace yelled louder than they did and shoved Sabo out. "You have to go now, Sabo."

Despite the protests, they managed to separate them and Ace stayed outside the house with Sabo. His heart was pounding nervously and his hands were shaking from what had just happened. He couldn't believe this was happening.

"I'm not going to leave."

"And what do you want? Kill each other with the old man? Is that what you came for?"

"He insulted me."

"Sabo, stop it."

He saw him sigh in exasperation and Ace realized that Sabo was also overwhelmed by the whole situation. How not to be really? This news would change his life, both of them lives, and Luffy's too. It was logical to have these volatile feelings and explode. He didn't blame him for that fight, because Garp wasn't an easy person and even he had many arguments with that old man on a daily basis.

Ace didn't leave. He didn't want to leave him alone at the time.

They both sat on the ground at the edge of the street. Luckily it wasn't cold that afternoon. There were hardly any cars or people passing either. All was silent as they sat there. The half meter of distance that separated them almost seemed like a whole kilometer at that moment.

"I want to be in his life," Sabo finally spoke and Ace nodded, placing his arms on his knees without looking at him.

"I know," he answered. "I'll tell him, but don't pressure me."

"And when will you do it?"

"I don't know... soon. Or are you planning to give me an ultimatum?"

"I'm sorry..." Sabo rubbed his hair, speaking more calmly. "It's just... I don't know how to do this."

"Neither do I," he admitted honestly. "At no point did I know what to do, but I think it didn't go too bad. We'll find out together."

He said those words without thinking. He just wanted things to calm down so he could sort himself out so that everything wasn't chaos. Sabo appeared, turning his life a mess and now he had to put it back together with his presence. Because Luffy would start to have a relationship with him and they would have to see each other again. The least he wanted was to have to endure fights and arguments on each of those occasions.

How were these things resolved? Ace hadn't thought about it. He was very used to Luffy being just his son and he had no idea what it was like to share that responsibility with someone other than his family.

"And what are we going to do?" Sabo asked. "Will I be able to visit him? Should I give you money?"

"What?" He said with an arched brow. "For what?"

"For Luffy, Ace. I must sustain him too."

"You don't have to..."

"Yes, I do," he insisted, turning to look at him with determination. "You have taken care of him these four years and I want to do it too."

He scratched his head feeling that it was starting to hurt from this conversation. At no time did he think of Sabo giving him money for Luffy, but that was what parents did, right? Still, he didn't think he needed it. He also didn't know how much or how to make such arrangements or the subject of visits. It was stressful.

"We could talk to a lawyer," Sabo suggested, and Ace felt a chill.

"What do you mean?"

"For advice, I mean."

He denied thinking of that. He didn't want to talk to anyone, he preferred that they resolve these issues by themselves.

"I don't want this to be a problem and I don't want you to give me money," Ace clarified. "I'll talk to Luffy today and... We can arrange for you to visit him or something. At least to start off."

At first, he thought he would not like his idea, but Sabo said nothing. He just nodded and Ace was relieved. He thought they would fight again, but they didn't. They still didn't understand each other, but for the moment this first discussion had already passed. He smiled without realizing it and sighed, letting all the adrenaline he experienced a few moments ago turn to exhaustion in his body.

"If you want I can look for pictures or videos of when Luffy was a baby," he offered, thinking it would be a good idea. It wouldn't make up for the years Sabo wasn't there, but at least it could tell him a little. "Rosi printed several photos."

"I would like that."

Sabo's voice sounded exhausted and sad, which hurt a bit, but Ace felt the same. At that first moment, both were very mobilized and confused. The situation was very recent and it would be some time before they could get used to it.

The sun fell slowly and Ace realized that he had been there a long time. So he got up and Sabo did too.

"I'll let you know," he promised, referring to Luffy. "And next time give me a call before you come."

"I'm sorry, Ace," he answered honestly. "I guess I'm a bit  _ upset _ ... Tell Garp I'm sorry for what happened."

"Don't worry, he has to accept it too."

He didn't care much what the old man thought. Although he knew that as soon as he entered the house he would attack him with questions, but he could bear it.

He felt that Sabo wanted to tell him more and Ace did too, but they both fell silent. They had already clarified what was necessary, the rest were  _ minor things _ . This was the relationship they should have. The only thing that united them was Luffy. The things that happened the day before shouldn't have happened, and since he left Sabo's apartment the night before, Ace knew they wouldn't happen again.

His body still felt Sabo's hands warm on his skin and he had to put on a high-neck T-shirt to cover the marks he left on him. Those little bruises and bites would go away with the days. That furtive moment had to be forgotten in pursuit of something more important. He felt a bit foolish thinking about that and feeling a slight nostalgia. Perhaps what he missed was the time when he lived with him, but that was already in the past.

Sabo left and Ace had to go back inside the house.

Sengoku and Garp practically jumped on him with questions like: What happened? Where did he come from? What did you talk about? How did he find out about Luffy?

The headache only increased. Still, he tried to answer as best he could. He only explained that he came across him by chance and decided to tell him the truth. Garp chided him for not telling them before, but Ace assured that it was his son and his decision what he did about him.

"Sabo is his father too," he said. "And he has every right to have a relationship with Luffy."

Garp was exasperated to hear it. He couldn't trust that brat. The reality was that he didn't want to see Ace suffer again, nor did he want him to hurt Luffy. Still, he knew he couldn't protect them from everything.

"What are you going to do, Ace?" Sengoku asked more calmly. "Do you want us to find a lawyer?"

"Not for now," he answered, denying. "I'd rather he meet Luffy and then... I don't know, we'll see what to do."

"He has to take responsibility," Garp snapped. "And if he wants to be a father he must make up for these four years."

"I don't pretend that, old man. He didn't know Luffy existed, it's not like he abandoned him or something." Ace explained, hoping Garp would stop bothering with that. "Let me handle it and I'll tell you anything if I need a lawyer."

Both men agreed, one reluctantly and the other with more resignation. That difficult moment had happened by chance. Ace had to promise that he would let them know everything that happened and Garp told him that he wanted to have a conversation with Sabo, but he replied no. The least he wanted was more fighting.

Now the next complex phase was coming: Telling Luffy.

Rosinante had been staying with the children away in another part of the house when he heard the screams and took them away so they wouldn't witness the fight. That filled him with relief, because he didn't want Luffy to find out who his other father was in that abrupt way.

His son was playing with Law, but he had the feeling that he had noticed something strange, because as soon as he saw him, he ran to hug him and Ace took him in his arms.

"It's everything alright?" Rosi asked and Ace just shrugged his shoulders with an expression that clearly said he didn't know.

"It could be worse," he replied and then looked at Luffy. "Come with me for a moment, son."

If he was going to do it, he wanted them to be alone.

He lifted the child in his arms and carried him to his room. He closed the door so that no one would disturb them. Luffy looked expectant, like when Ace was about to scold him and maybe he thought he had done something wrong, but he tried to relax so he wouldn't have that feeling.

He sat on his bed and laid Luffy on his lap while he thought about what to say to him.

He smiled at him as his boy looked at him with his round, pretty eyes. Ace stroked his soft black hair as he sighed.

"You know I love you very much, right, Luffy?"

"Yes!" He said very happily. "I love you too, dad."

He couldn't help but smile and kiss his soft baby skin. Luffy also kissed him laughing.

"Grandparents love you too," Ace continued. "Also Rosi and Law."

"Yes, I love Torao very much, I'll marry him when we grow up."

Ace laughed at that. That was something that Luffy said from time to time and Law was very ashamed, even his face turned all red.

"We love you because we are your family and we will always take care of you, but... you also have other people who care about you."

This conversation wasn't working. He should be more direct. Luffy would understand and it would be fine, but his reaction still made him nervous.

"Do you remember when I told you about your other dad?"

"Hmm... yeah."

"What would you think if I told you that you can see your other dad?"

Luffy's dark eyes flashed curious and surprised. He probably didn't imagine that news and Ace's heart clenched with more anxiety.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, tilting his head. "And does he like to play soccer?

"I don't know," he replied with a smile. "You can ask him when you see him."

"I can see him?"

"Maybe... He wants to see you." He gritted his teeth as he breathed in encouragement. "What would you think if your other dad was Sabo?"

"Sabo?" The confused boy repeated and fell silent as if the image and all the information he had about that person were gathered inside his brain. "I like Sabo, he's great."

A strong emotion surged in his chest. His child was a ray of sunshine and he always had good feelings about everything in the world. He hadn't dared to ask him what he thought of Sabo or what his first meeting with him had been like. Even so, from now on they would start their relationship from scratch and it would change completely.

"Sabo is my dad?" Luffy asked and Ace nodded. "Oh, it's fine. Torao also has two dads."

A small laugh escaped his lips.

"No, Luffy," he clarified. "Law only has one dad."

"Isn't Mingo his dad? He always says he's his son."

"That's complicated..." he muttered without wanting to talk about Rosinante's weird brother or the relationship they had. "What do you think about Sabo being your dad? Would you like to spend time with him?"

"Yes!" Luffy replied. "Can I invite him to play at home?"

"Mmm... Maybe another time." Ace thought it best to let things settle down at his house before letting Sabo go see Luffy there. "We could go to the park to see him, what do you think?"

His son was very excited by that idea and Ace felt a great weight lift off his shoulders. He couldn't believe that this tension had really passed, but it wouldn't end there. There were still many things to do, but the first steps had already been taken and he had the feeling that it wouldn't go wrong.

He let Luffy come back with Law to play and took the moment to send a message to Sabo. For some reason, he didn't feel fear or anxiety when sending it, but emotion and wrote very fast.

_ 'I already spoke to Luffy and he took it well. I told him that we could meet in the park so you could spend time with him. We can talk more about that later, okay?' _

He put his phone aside as he lay down on the bed feeling exhausted. He wanted to sleep for three whole days to regain his strength. He decided to take a little nap, despite having got up at noon. The study would have to be relegated to the night or the next day. Now he just wanted to have a peaceful sleep and forget about the problems in his life for a few moments.


	26. Chapter 26

"Why can't Torao come?" Luffy asked as he let his dad finish dressing him.

Today was a cold day, so they would have to dress up a little more before heading out.

"Because he has other things to do."

Ace wasn't going to tell him the real reasons why Law couldn't accompany them on that trip. Today was the day where Luffy would meet Sabo as father and son, he didn't think it was convenient that there were others other than them. He felt nervous and uncomfortable thinking of that moment, but he had already said yes and they would go.

He took a deep breath as he placed a hat on his son's head and decided that they were ready to go. He promised that he would call Rosi if necessary. The old men and Rosi were more vigilant of that matter than he imagined. He understood them, because Ace was also very tense, but it also bothered him that they were so involved in his decisions.

They all had gone through difficult times together. They saw him suffer everything that had to do with Luffy and they had taken care of Luffy with him. Now something quite big was happening in their lives and it was logical that they were worried. Still, Ace was the father and had the final word. Sabo had the right to be with his son and Luffy to enjoy his other father. He would never expose him to something bad. He knew everything would be fine. He could handle this… although the last time that he said that regarding Sabo things didn't turn out very well.

He didn't think about it anymore and left. The park wasn't too far from home. He liked going with Luffy there. There were many games and a large space where the boy liked to run. That place was also where he went out in his toughest times of pregnancy, moments in which he barely let the sun's rays touch his skin on those micro-walks.

He was no longer the same person as at that time. Now he could go out without worrying about his appearance or being watched by others with their judging gazes. He built an image of himself with which he was satisfied and was creating a self-esteem with which he stayed strong. It would be fine. He would protect Luffy. Everything would be fine. Despite repeating that to himself, he could feel his heartbeat piercing his ears violently as he approached the park.

He walked hand in hand with his son and he pulled harder when they arrived. Luffy demanded to go to the swings and Ace looked around. There was no sign of Sabo.

"Push me, push me!" Luffy demanded as he hopped onto the chair. His feet dangled.

Ace didn't protest and started pushing for the boy to sway. He smiled when he heard him laugh as he flew. There were other people in the park walking or with their children, but he paid no attention to them.

In an instant, he felt watched and searched who was looking at him. His eyes met Sabo's. He blinked for a few moments until he waved at him and told him to come closer. Ace stopped his son's swing to speak to him.

"Luffy," he called and the boy looked at him with a pout because he stopped his game. "Why don't you go say hi?"

When Luffy realized the direction Ace was pointing him to, he widened his eyes in shock. Sabo was coming towards them. Then the boy shot out towards him and hugged him. Something inside him twitched when he saw that moment. Many times he thought what Sabo would say if he knew they had a child, but he never believed that he would see them share a hug.

He bit his lip and sat on the swing as he watched them have their moment. Unintentionally, he began to gently rock because of the nerves.

"You came, Sabo!" Luffy expressed happily. "Dad told me we were going to be able to play."

"Yes, Luffy," he nodded. "Are you happy because I came?"

The boy nodded and Sabo leaned in close to him. He looked at him carefully, stroked his head, and the smile on his face was absolutely genuine.

"Daddy told me that you're my dad too," the boy commented, drawing his attention. "Torao also has two dads, you know? Although he doesn't like Mingo, but I do like you, Sabo!"

Surprise spread across Sabo's face. Shame and excitement were reflected in his eyes. They were the same as Luffy's, something Ace always knew.

"I'm glad to hear that, I'll do... my best. I promise, Luffy."

The boy didn't understand his words or why he seemed so shocked. He didn't like when people were like this around him. He took Sabo's hand pulling him to follow him.

"Let's play!" Luffy announced. "I brought my ball, but Dad said I should ask you… Do you like to play soccer, Sabo?"

Sabo looked puzzled at the time and Ace almost laughed at the sight. Luffy was overwhelming and didn't mind doing whatever he wanted no matter the time. That little boy knew that Sabo was his other father, but surely in the child's head that meant that he had another close person to love. It was just another reason to love Sabo even more.

They played ball. Luffy was too small, so he kept falling to the grass, but his enthusiasm made him get back up. He showed Sabo his soccer skills, but also told him what other things he liked. Sabo listened to him and asked questions too. It was an enjoyable time for both of them.

Ace preferred to stay away watching them and letting them have their space. This first time he would be there, but he knew that later Sabo would be alone with Luffy and he had to get used to that. It made him nervous to think about it.

His son went to look for him at that bench where he had chosen to sit and asked him to play too. Ace hesitated, because he didn't want to intrude, but accepted at Luffy's insistence and Sabo seemed fine with sharing that moment with him.

Hours passed and his child got so tired that he ended up asleep in his arms. Maybe it was time to go. Sabo decided to accompany them while Ace carried Luffy who was sleeping very peacefully and drooling on his shoulder.

"He falls asleep really fast," Sabo commented with a smile. "Just like you."

Ace laughed and nodded.

"He's not narcoleptic, though, just a bear."

Luckily his kid didn't have that problem, although Ace was controlling it really well lately and he didn't fall asleep anywhere, at least not that often.

"He's a bit oblivious," he commented, thinking of Luffy's attitudes and glanced at Sabo. "That reminds me of you."

"I don't forget things so much anymore thanks to the phone reminders."

"Oh, bless that device."

They both laughed at his joke as they walked and found that _intimacy_ moment very strange.

Ever since Sabo showed up, it seemed like he had been on a roller coaster of emotions. Surprise, fear, excitement, fury. What would be next? Ace didn't want to know. However, it reminded him of the violent emotions he felt for him as children. Their relationship had always been like that and he didn't think that would change because they were older now.

"You had a good time?" Ace asked looking at him and felt warmth in his chest when he saw him smile.

"He's an amazing kid, I already told you," Sabo replied. "I still haven’t processed it all, but... he really is great."

He felt a little proud, because he knew that part of Luffy's personality and way of being was due to him and how he raised him, but in reality it was due to the boy. Ace tried to make Luffy a good boy and he knew he was, but he was also an annoying and capricious brat. As much as he was his son and loved him, sometimes he couldn't bear him, but he would never say it.

Without realizing it, they walked a little slower. His feet moved lazily and he felt Sabo's were the same. They still felt that they had a lot to talk about and at the same time that time was very short.

"I thought you could see him a few days a week," Ace commented, trying to establish peace between them regarding that issue, he didn't want to fight like last time. "I can also take him to your house."

"Any day?"

"I think it would be better to agree which ones or you can even pick him up at school."

"Sounds good," Sabo replied, his smile filling him with relief. Sharing that moment felt very comforting. "Is Garp still upset about what happened?"

"Hmm no… I think he's just worried."

The old man was insufferable, but he had to admit that he wasn't a bad grandfather. He cared for Luffy and pampered him too much, the boy loved him very much.

"He doesn't want anyone to hurt Luffy."

"That's not my intention," Sabo replied, "and... not hurting you either... Not again."

He bit his lip at the sound of it. They both had a lot of broken memories and things they didn't talk about. It was no longer really worth doing it. Their story was tragic, worthy of cheap drama, so much so that Ace was no longer sure he remembered exactly how it happened. From there on, his life fell apart. Everything he knew ceased to exist and the pieces of his being fell to a depth from which it was difficult for him to rise. He rebuilt himself as a new person and now he had Luffy. Their son was what mattered, not them or what happened to them.

"I know your intentions aren't bad," Ace said sincerely. "I wouldn't let you get close to Luffy if they were."

"Looks like you became a protective wolf."

"I had to do it."

When they reached the door of his house, he stood in front of Sabo and they looked at each other, again, as if they wanted to say more things than they could think of. Ace suspected this feeling would last until they got used to seeing each other more often. If it didn't go away, he felt like he might go crazy.

"It was also good that… you came today," Sabo commented doubtfully, as if he didn't know whether or not he could say those words.

"It was fun," Ace agreed. "We will speak later. To finish thinking about visits and all that."

Sabo said yes and they looked at each other for a few more moments. Ace didn't want this, he didn't want to endure this feeling of wanting to ask Sabo what he thought or why he was looking at him that way. He wouldn't do it. _They wouldn't do it_.

He just said goodbye and promised to give his regards to Luffy when he woke up.

He took refuge inside his home and allowed himself to breathe easy. It seemed like he had been holding back all day. Why? He felt like a fool noticing how tired he was from the tension of that moment.

He didn't want to talk to anyone and preferred to take Luffy to the room to keep sleeping. It had been a long time since he had been tired enough to take a nap. He wanted to be alone for a while and try to get rid of the anguish that had begun to form in his chest.

**.**

**.**

**.**

For quite some years, Ace had been going to therapy every week. It had done him very good. He learned many things from Bon Clay. He found a person he could talk to who would help him realize all the knots he had inside his mind and how he could untie them. Bon-chan was kind and gave him a lot of confidence. He had also adapted to the space he had where his sessions were held. It was cozy.

Despite that, Ace lately thought that maybe he didn't need therapy anymore because he felt so good. Big mistake. Because people believe, when they feel good, that they have great mental stability as strong as a mountain. However, when a strong emotion runs through their life they collapse like an avalanche. Something like that had happened to him when Sabo appeared.

Several of his sessions were spent talking about him. Many times he was lost telling Bon Clay moments of his childhood that they had lived together in the town. All the laughs and the mischief and the things they shared. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of that, how happy he was.

He also had to talk about the sad moments and almost broke down doing it. Ace's emotional part was very damaged. Bon-chan told him that it would be difficult for him to have a couple again if he didn't analyze and work out what those past events meant to him. That sounded very difficult and he had no idea how to do it.

Sabo was the person he loved the most without a doubt, but Ace was no longer that child, neither of them were children anymore. His feelings changed and his way of loving too. However, he remembered the time they were together in his apartment and how his body vibrated in recognition.

Could the skin have memory? He didn't know. Perhaps he was influenced by the emotional moment and by what he had to say about Luffy. He was feeling a bit confused by what happened that day, but he didn't really want to think about it. It hurt to do so. Sharp suffering tore at his back when he did so. It wouldn't happen again.

"I think things are a little better," Ace commented. "The old men don't bother me so much anymore and Luffy will start visiting Sabo once a week, staying overnight at his house."

That didn't quite convince him. It was okay for the boy to come see him, but did he have to stay all night? That thought made him anxious.

"And how do you feel about that, Ace-chan?" Bon Clay asked. "It's normal to feel mobilized by him. He is the first person outside of your family who loved you for who you really are."

He was right with that. Sabo never judged him or thought of him in any other way. For Sabo it was always Ace, not a different body or identity. It was just the two of them back then and it all seemed so easy. Kissing, sleeping, cuddling and _more_. All that love they shared resulted in the baby driving him crazy every day.

"It's still weird to see him."

"It scares you?"

"I don't know…"

He wasn't sure what he was feeling at the time. He could only recognize that his head was a mess and his feelings an indecipherable tangle. He was aware that he had to take care of Luffy and think that he would be okay. Sabo thought the same. Why did he have to be this tormented then?

"Do you remember when I told you that you can't stop taking care of yourself even if you have a baby?" Bon-chan asked and Ace nodded. "In this case it also applies. You have to think about how you feel and what you want."

He didn't have that answer. The haze in his mind made it difficult for him to see the road. Bon Clay assured him that he would find it, however.

Fortunately, the topic of conversation changed, because he wasn't sure he had the strength to keep talking about it.

"How are you doing in college?"

"Good," Ace replied. "It's difficult, but I started to get together with some people to study."

"It's good that you have friends, Ace-chan."

He didn't know whether to consider them that way, but they were nice people. Haruta shared the career stuff with him. Izo and Thatch also joined them to study in the library —because Ace found it difficult to study at home with a four-year-old demanding his attention all day— although sometimes they wasted time talking about other things as well.

That session left him quite stunned when he came out. He had too many things to think about, but he couldn't find the energy to do it.

When he got home, he remembered that that day Luffy was going to stay with Sabo for the first time and thinking about it was almost like a cold black cloak that clung to his back. He had already agreed, he wasn't going to refuse, but... He didn't want Luffy to leave.

How ridiculous. He looked like an infatuated little boy. He was an adult, supposedly, so he couldn't have that kind of behavior.

Still, he was tense as he packed Luffy's backpack with everything he thought he might need. Pajamas, some extra clothes, his Shushu puppy, toothbrush and some cookies in case he was unexpectedly hungry.Would it be too much? Was he exaggerating? He didn't want his child to miss him and go hungry.

What if he cried? What if he couldn't sleep far from home? Luffy had never slept outside, how would he feel? He took a deep breath trying to control the nerves that were altering his body.

Luffy would be fine. Sabo would take care of him. Also, Koala lived with him and she had experience with children, she knew Luffy well. There was nothing to worry about. So why couldn't Ace stop having that crushing sensation on his chest?

His son didn't look appalled at leaving. He even asked if he could go with his cousin, but he didn't protest too much when he said no. By the time Sabo came looking for him, Ace found himself thinking of a million excuses to tell him why he couldn't take Luffy, but he kept them to himself. He had to let him go. The child couldn't always be attached to him.

Ace remembered in a second all the terrifying moments of the pregnancy, the birth, the sleepless nights, all the times he took care of him and hugged him enduring his deafening cries that threatened to break his eardrums. He fought a lot for that boy and felt it was unfair to let him go, he wasn't ready yet. He also thought he was pathetic for thinking all these things as he opened the door.

"Are you ready, Luffy?" Sabo asked, stroking the boy's head.

"Yes!" He answered, stretching his arms and his _other dad_ picked him up.

Ace gritted his teeth thinking that they trusted each other a lot despite the short time they had been father and son. That was a good thing, right? Why couldn't he stop feeling worried?

"I'll be back tomorrow," Sabo said, seeing him. "You're good?"

"Ah? Yes…" He answered distractedly. "Sure, tomorrow."

"Ace, seriously…"

"It's okay," he interrupted, smiling. "Be good Luffy and call me if you need anything."

Sabo's gaze on him seemed intrigued, but he said nothing. His son said goodbye waving his little hand as he left and Ace waved back until he closed the door and his smile faded.

He leaned against the wooden door and covered his eyes with one hand. The situation didn't warrant him feeling so unstable as to break down, but these days any slight strong emotion turned him upside down. He breathed slowly and tried to think that it would be a short time. Only for that night and tomorrow Luffy would be back home.

He didn't count on the fact that the night is long and more so when anxiety doesn't let you sleep.

He tried to study and failed. Not even Netflix, eating, or anything helped him relax. He wasted time on his phone and, deep down, he was expecting a message from _him_ , but it never happened.

Against all odds, Ace was the one who wrote him. He just wanted to know how everything was going. What was wrong with that? His four-year-old son would sleep for the first time in an unfamiliar place, it was normal for him to worry.

He imagined a scenario where Luffy cried and wouldn't let anyone sleep. In that case, Ace would have to go pick him up and bring him home. Maybe he could ask Rosi for a ride or take a taxi. He should start thinking about getting his own driving license.

He received an answer that, instead of making him smile, disappointed him.

_"Everything is fine. We played and now he fell asleep."_

There was a photo below of Luffy sleeping sprawled out on Sabo's bed. In that same bed where Ace had been very recently.

His son seemed to sleep very peacefully.

Did that mean he didn't miss him? A dark and sad feeling rose in his throat. Maybe he didn't like having to share his baby like that, and now that he was alone with nothing to distract him, he missed him. He wanted to hold him and feel his warmth, but he would have to wait.

He answered the message: _"I'm glad, have a good night"_ and put the phone aside.

He tossed his hair back in frustration and knew he would continue to have those negative thoughts if he stayed there alone. Ace didn't want to be alone.

He walked through the house to Corazón's room, it wasn't late enough for him to be asleep and he was pleased to find the light on. The man was already laying on his bed reading on his phone, but was surprised to see Law next to him. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who thought of going there to seek refuge.

"Having trouble sleeping?" Rosi asked him when Ace entered the room. "There is enough room in this bed for everyone who misses Luffy."

He felt a bit embarrassed when he heard it, but he didn't deny it either.

"Law came here because he misses him?" He said, seeing the boy asleep and clinging to his father.

"Sometimes he comes in, but I know he does it because he's lonely," he answered. "You too?"

Ace grunted and just crawled into Corazon’s huge bed.

"It's ridiculous, I know," he warned before he said anything to him. "I'll get over it… Can I sleep here?"

"I never told you you couldn't."

He thanked him silently. There in that bed, accompanied, he was able to fall asleep. He didn't mind feeling like a child looking for someone to protect him. Like little Law, Ace held onto Rosinante that night and allowed himself to act —a little— like a brat. Every now and then it didn't hurt. Also, that night his son was away and he didn't have to act like a father.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the delay. Saturday was my birthday and ChainedKura and I drank a lot of vodka, so we didn't proofread the chapter because we were hungover. Anyway, here is the chapter and I hope you enjoy it.  
> Now I'm writing another SaboAce fanfic, but this one is more about monsters, fantasy, vampires... It's a bit weird. I think I'll post it when Dysphoria is done. This vampire story will also be long.  
> Anyway, thank you very much for reading and see you next week!

A voice crossed his mind and made him aware of himself and his surroundings again.

Ace raised his head disoriented and stared with narrowed eyes. Had he fallen asleep? It wasn't the first time he had passed out with his face pressed to a table, but it had been a while since last time.

"Are you okay?"

He had to blink for a few moments so the exhaustion would let him see the person who was speaking to him. He also felt a kind hand on his shoulder, which surely shook him awake.

"Izo…" Ace mentioned and covered his mouth, yawning. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep."

"That always happens here," he replied. In the library it was common to see people who fell over due to lack of sleep.

He remembered that he had gone there for a while with the intention of studying, but fell completely into sleep. Not even the coffee he drank helped him wake up. He had even got it without milk so the caffeine would wake him up, but it didn't work.

Izo sat down next to him and smiled at him. That man was very nice and they got along well. In that time they had known each other, he learned that Izo was studying Social Work and his friend Thatch was a Chef, but when he had time he would go to greet them because he didn't work far from that place. They were nice and funny. He liked to share that space with them. They had even added him to a WhatsApp group chat where they spoke from time to time.

Ace didn't know yet whether to say if they were friends, but they were close.

"Have you been studying a lot?" Izo asked perhaps thinking that's why he fell asleep and Ace denied.

"No," he replied, rubbing his eyes and stretched out, rattling his bones. "My son had a fever and I stayed awake until it came down."

"You have a son?" He snapped in surprise and Ace felt nervous. Hadn't he said it? Maybe not. They hadn't known each other long, either, but he still nodded. "I didn't know… How is he? Feels better?"

He felt that genuine concern and it made him smile.

"Yes, he was fine today, but he didn't go to school," he replied, thinking how bored Luffy must have been at home with just his grandparents. He took his cell phone to show him some photos he had of the boy. "He is four years old."

Izo looked at the photos intrigued and laughed at the funny faces Luffy always made. His boy was a bit of a clown. Every time he saw a camera he would smile or make weird faces. Since he was a baby, Rosi and the grandparents had taken millions of photos of him. Ace didn't pay much attention to those details, but he had some images of his son on his phone.

"How cute," he mentioned with a smile. "How can you study and take care of him? I work and I feel like I'm going to die every time I have an exam."

"I have a lot of help," he answered, thinking of Rosinante, the old men, Koala and now… there was Sabo too.

He had several messages from him asking him about Luffy. Ace also caught a glimpse of some messages from Ivan and others from Smoker. It has been several days since he spoke to that man and he felt a little guilty, but he has been through too much trouble lately. Should he tell him? Maybe it would be a good thing.

"He looks a bit like the blond boy you were talking to the other day," Izo said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Yes, he remembered that day. By chance he came across Sabo when he was attending college and they chatted. Their classmates saw them, but didn't ask questions. They were quite discreet or maybe they just assumed it was a friend, they didn't have to think otherwise. They were both just talking about Luffy, study and some other nonsense. It had been a brief meeting that lasted no more than five minutes, but all the times they had seen each other lately were like that.

Sabo only exchanged words with Ace when he went to pick up Luffy or drop him off at his house. That moment on the street had been very peculiar and Ace thought that maybe he should get used to things like that happening.

"It's my… _ex,_ " he replied, feeling strange to say that word. "I see him from time to time because of Luffy, but… we are not together."

Why was he explaining this? It was one thing to talk about it with his family, Iva-chan or Bon Clay; but Izo didn't even ask him. Still, he smiled kindly at him.

"It must have been difficult, right?" He said but Ace didn't understand and cocked his head in confusion. "I mean having a child and being trans, especially at your age, I can't imagine how difficult that transition was."

Izo was a few years older and also seemed to have a more mature air, or so Ace perceived. Ever since he met him he had caught his attention. The long black hair, the clothes he wore, the makeup; everything in him. He was a beautiful person and similar to Ace, because they were both outside of what was considered _normative_ or _hegemonic_. However, Izo wasn't trans. His gender identity was still male, but the way he expressed himself was not.

The way in which people express themselves, through their clothing, their way of acting or their appearance, should not necessarily be linked to biological sex, gender identity or sexual orientation. He learned to differentiate all this with a lot of effort and still sometimes had a hard time understanding it. Incorporating all those concepts was very difficult, but knowing Izo a little more he understood some things and it was nice to meet other people like him, besides Ivan or Bon Clay. Even Ace himself from time to time wore garments or some accessory considered ‘non-masculine’ and that was no longer a problem for him. The clothes he wore, his hair, or what he liked to wear shouldn't be things that made him question his identity, at least he was trying to.

He looked at the table for a second, remembering in that brief moment all the way he traveled to get to where he was. The blood, anguish, and shed tears were something that still burned him to this day. He felt chills when he remembered those moments and he took them away from his mind. He wanted to imagine that this had not been him, that all this happened to someone else or another Ace in some parallel universe, but no. That was his life and maybe he should be proud of how far he came, he just didn't feel ready to look back yet because he was afraid of falling back into that pit at the slightest stumble. He was still walking that long way, but he no longer felt like he was stepping on glass and leaving a trail of blood with every inch he advanced.

"It's still difficult," he confessed and looked at Izo confidently, because he felt strong enough to talk about it without feeling uncomfortable with him. "Sometimes I think it will never stop being, but… it's not as bad as it used to be."

"It's never easy for people like us, but as you get older some things settle in." He sighed thoughtfully. Despite the noise from the other students around them, Ace heard it perfectly and then continued, "My sister is also trans and has had a lot of problems because of it."

That statement surprised him. After seeing each other several times in college, of course the peers he became _closest to_ noticed that he was a transgender person and Ace felt a bit nervous once they brought it up. It was surprising how naturally they approached him on these issues and at no time did they treat him differently. Ace was still shocked to remember it and maybe that was why he was confident enough to hang out with them. There were people with open minds to understand his situation and take it in a good way, Bon-chan told him in therapy and Ace was very happy to verify that he was right.

Besides him or Ivan, he didn't know another person who was trans or in that _environment_ at all. So he fell silent upon hearing about Izo's sister. Maybe they hadn't had time to comment on it until now or it was a sensitive topic, because he saw him make a slightly dejected face.

"We just share the same mother," Izo explained. "She is barely a teenager, but her dad is quite conservative. Imagine he blamed me and I 'misled' her. Kiku already showed herself like this since she was a child and I noticed it, even though I never lived with her. Still, I try to help her but... sometimes I don't know what to do."

Hearing that was harsh. Ace could imagine how Izo's sister must feel, but those kinds of transitions were something very personal. Still, having conflicting parents at such a young age was a big deal. At least she had her brother help her or give her some kind of support.

"It's good that you're there for her, it's important not to feel alone," Ace replied and thought of Rosinante. Although Garp and Sengoku weren't against his transition, the one who really gave him the support he needed to get ahead was Rosi. "It also helped me a lot to do therapy or seek professional help, I can give you the number of the people I work with."

"It would be nice, although convincing my mother will be difficult… Still, thanks Ace. I'm sorry to be telling you this."

"It's okay," he smiled. "We have to support each other, right?"

At least that's what he thought at the time. In his worst years, he suffered a lot, and, as much as he didn't know Izo's sister, he didn't want her to go through something similar. He wished people like Iva-chan or Bon Clay could help more people like they did with him.

The conversation was pleasant and he felt passing a new level of trust with his _friend_.

**.**

**.**

**.**

The little flu that Luffy had quickly disappeared and the doctor assured that he was well. Whenever the boy got sick, Ace worried a lot. Still, it wasn't something that happened often. He felt a little guilty because maybe his son was stressed those days with everything that happened or absorbed the tension that Ace carried manifesting it in an illness... Or maybe he just caught a cold and he should stop thinking nonsense.

Today was another of the days where Luffy would go with Sabo, so he had to prepare his backpack. He no longer felt anxious like the time before. Everything went well and he didn't doubt that it would continue in the same way. Still, inside his mind, he thought about telling Sabo that maybe it would be better if Luffy stayed because he was sick. He held back, because he shouldn't be childish and selfish.

It was difficult to get used to that situation. He raised Luffy all those years and now he had to share him with someone. The title of 'dad' no longer corresponded only to him. He wouldn't stop feeling that emptiness in his chest every time his son left, but he knew that little by little it would disappear when those circumstances became part of his daily life. Luffy was barely four years old, so the visits and the relationship with Sabo would continue for a long time. There was nothing he could do about it.

Things with him were calmer, luckily. In the end they did speak with a lawyer about those maintenance issues and apparently Sabo had to give him a certain amount of money to cover Luffy's expenses, that was what corresponded to divorced couples. That sounded a little weird to him because they were never married, but they weren't together either, so it was the 'right' term.

They also had to carry out a procedure where Sabo recognized Luffy as his son. The child would still be listed with his last name, but legally, Sabo would also appear as his father. It was fine with him, because that was right.

At least they were a little more organized on those matters or at least they had an idea of how to proceed now. The lawyer also told them that it was important for them to agree on the decisions, because there were many couples who, when they separated, formed pitched battles that ended up harming the children. Ace didn't want to come to that and apparently neither did Sabo. For the moment, everything was in order.

Luffy got along very well with him and told him everything he did every time he returned from his visits. Seeing him happy made Ace think he made a good decision.

He finished packing his son's backpack and slung it over his back. Luffy hugged him before saying goodbye when Sabo came for him.

"Rest, Dad," Luffy said, kissing him on the face. "If you can't sleep, call me, okay? I left Shushu with Torao because he doesn't sleep well at night either."

Ace laughed when he heard it and pulled him closer to him giving him some more kisses. He was supposed to take care of Luffy and not the other way around. Still, he found it adorable.

"I'll be fine," he assured. "Tomorrow I'll wait for you with something nice to eat."

Those words made his son's eyes shine.

"Let me know if something happens," he said after releasing Luffy and letting him go.

"We will," Sabo replied with a smile as he took the boy's hand and looked at Ace. "You too."

"I'm a grown up now, I can take care of myself."

"I know, but still… If you need anything, you can text me."

He bit his lip when he heard it and preferred to say goodbye. Talking to Sabo was difficult and he assumed the same thing happened to him. Sometimes they even joked and laughed together, but their conversations boiled down to Luffy. It should be that way, right? Now what united them was the child and nothing else.

He remembered that reunion at the cafe that went onto Sabo's apartment. Luffy was the reason that brought him there, but they also talked about other things and lived moments that were too warm. He kind of wanted to go back to that, but he knew they couldn't. At least for now, they couldn't even be friends again. Could they one day? He had no idea. He couldn't imagine being anything else with him, but deep down, he wished he could spend a few more minutes talking to Sabo every time they saw each other.

He tried not to drown in negative thoughts and to focus on the things he had to do. Now that Luffy was gone, he could attend the exams he would have soon and the assignments he had to turn in.

He spent several hours at his desk working and was very pleased to see how much progress he made. The exhaustion came when the sun went down and Ace started checking his phone without really paying attention to anything.

He had a tab open in his browser and noticed that he had left it on the 'Amphibia Magazine' where Sabo worked. He decided to take a look, because he hadn't had a chance to do it before. Everything looked very interesting. Inadvertently, he spent a lot of time reading notes that involved politics or cultural interests. Then he looked at the podcast list and there he lost almost an hour and a half of his life.

It first started with a Podcast called 'Stories of the Body.' They were anecdotes and varied information always related to the body, stereotypes and issues related to sexuality, gender and social roles. He also caught a glimpse of the episodes of 'The Red Bonfire', Sabo's podcast.

That voice he knew very well was reproduced in his ears through the headphones and Ace paid close attention to what he was saying. His deep voice unfolded and he spoke in a way that made Ace want to hear more. Suddenly, he found himself interested in those political issues he was describing and that he could tell he was passionate about. It was only 25 minutes and Ace found himself playing another one.

"Are you busy?" Rosinante said entering his room and Ace took off his headphones. "We will have pizza night, what do you think?"

"Sounds good," Ace replied with a smile. "I was already hungry."

"The old men said if you wanted to invite Smoker." Those words surprised Ace and Rosi smiled. "I don't think it's a bad idea, so you don't get bored now that Luffy is gone."

"I don't know..."

"Hmm, let us know so we know whether to order more food."

Ace sighed tiredly. He wasn't that dependent on Luffy… He just wasn't used to him not being there, but in time he would adjust.

Still, it wasn't a bad idea to see Smoker. He was having a good time with that man and it had been many days since he could see him because of everything that had happened. Perhaps he could distract himself a bit with him and release the tension that haunted his mind.

He wrote to see if he was available and didn't have to work that night. He smiled upon receiving a positive response.

When he arrived, Ace greeted him with a hug and was surprised by the comforting feeling that came over him when those strong arms surrounded him. Being with him filled him with a pleasant and reassuring feeling. Just what he needed now.

Garp and Sengoku liked Smoker. They laughed as they talked to him, told stories and made comments that he didn't quite understand, all related to the work they shared. He even heard them talking about some colleagues and mentioning wild anecdotes. The relaxed atmosphere helped him a lot at that time.

The only one who didn't seem amused was Law. That little 8-year-old boy looked crestfallen and quieter. Ace started playing with him for a while and showing him that he hadn't forgotten how to hunt Pokemon on the Nintendo. They both missed Luffy, so they had to support each other. His son was loved by everyone in the house, but he had a special relationship with Law because they were both quite close in age. However, Law took great care of him, like a protective older brother would, and that was nice to see. Luffy adored him and always wanted to be close to his cousin.

The pizza was very good and he drank his son's juice. He didn't think Luffy cared, he would buy more from him later.

The old men began to speak on their own while Rosi nodded at him and Ace didn't know how he managed to understand him so well. They had already eaten, so he asked Smoker if he would like to accompany him to the garden for some fresh air. The man accepted and, when they were outside, took the opportunity to light a cigarette.

"You had to work today?" Ace asked as he crossed his arms coldly. He should have found a coat before leaving.

"Earlier," he answered, exhaling smoke. "How about you? We haven't spoken in several days."

"I know, I'm sorry…" he mumbled, sighing. "It's just... a lot of _complicated things_ happened."

Smoker looked at him with intrigue and concern. Ace wasn't going to lie to him, he couldn't be sure how he would react, but he still wouldn't hide anything from him.

"Do you remember I told you that I had no contact with Luffy's father?" Ace asked and received a nod. "Well… I saw him again recently and he said he wanted to spend time with Luffy. So I've been busy trying to organize the visits, that's why he's not here now."

"I was wondering why he wasn't around," Smoker commented on that detail. He was very discreet and didn't ask inappropriate questions, Ace liked that. "Are you okay? Do you need me to help you with something?"

"Don't worry," he said, smiling. "I just… I want Luffy to be okay."

"He will, he's a good boy, and if I can do something for you, tell me."

"It's enough that you're here."

That man's arms clasped him and he didn't feel cold in that instant. He rested his head on Smoker's shoulder and his entire body leaned against him. He closed his eyes for a moment and allowed himself to relax in the refuge he offered. He was always a serious person, but at the same time he was very affectionate with actions. With each of those touches, Ace could feel the interest that Smoker expressed for him.

Was it okay to feel this comfortable? Having someone hug him and comfort him seemed like the solution to all his mental delusions, but he knew that was an illusion. The problems were still there, only those moments of peace relaxed him more than expected and he managed to forget about stress for a while. At that moment, his insecurities paused along with the confusions within him. He didn't want to think about Sabo or that Luffy wasn't there. He just wanted to close his eyes and feel calm.

Smoker was peaceful, sheltering and protecting him in a way that Ace found addictive. He even loved his son and got along with his weird family. Did he need something more?

Ace thought about his relationship with Sabo once more. Now their only reason for being together was Luffy. Perhaps the fire that they shared when they were reunited was only the embers of adolescence, but they were already extinct. They were like fire, but the bonfire they built together had gone out the moment Ace told him the truth. Any possibility or slightest interest vanished in that instant. He accepted it, that's the way things should be, but, just a bit, it made him sad to think that it had died. Was it time to do that duel after four years? Perhaps, because only now, after so long, he could see Sabo and close that stage and move forward each on their own.

It hurt to think about the past, but Ace still had a lot to take advantage of. He would continue to care for his son, now with Sabo's intervention, but he was also building a life beyond that. A career, friends, and _someone_ …

"Don't you mind if I see him again?" He asked, wanting to know what Smoker thought about the news.

He had already told him that he separated from Luffy's father long before he found out about the pregnancy. They were both very young and he could never tell him, but now everything had changed.

"The important thing is that Luffy and you are okay. The relationship you have with him is your business," the man clarified, removing the cigarette from his mouth to look at it. "I'll be there for whatever you need."

That understanding and support elicited a smile from him.

He knew he was serious. Smoker was a good man and very kind despite having that righteous demeanor. Ace moved closer to him and closed his eyes letting go a little. His lips tickled as he kissed him.

He asked if he wanted to stay that night and Smoker agreed.

He had never, ever _slept_ with someone in that bed, but it didn't seem like a bad thing either. He couldn't invite anyone to his house because he didn't live alone and his son was also there. However, Luffy wasn't there and the old men seemed at ease with the idea that Smoker wouldn't leave. So he supposed there would be no problem.

He got more kisses in his room. More naked and soft caresses. His skin prickled and he purred, releasing a little of those tensions that didn't stop tormenting him. Luckily, he had learned to keep condoms in storage for any eventuality, a little trick he was taught and thought he would never use until now.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Ace woke up with his hair tousled and wanting to sleep at least three more hours, but the strong arm around his waist woke him up. He blinked carefully realizing that his room was filled with sunlight. Was he so distracted at night that he forgot to close the curtains before going to bed? Yes, he was _very distracted_. And his main distraction was hugging him behind his back.

He turned to find that giant man glued to his naked body and smiled as he approached to kiss him. Smoker was a light sleeper, compared to Ace, so he woke up instantly.

"Good morning," he said when he saw him and Smoker just tightened his hug. "We have to get up."

"I know, I have to go to work."

Neither of them wanted to get out of there. Ace found himself snuggling like a cat to Smoker's chest as Smoker stroked his back. It was so nice that he never wanted to leave that comfortable place. He didn't know how that man as big as a Terminator could hug him like the best pillow in the world. Ace sighed, closing his eyes and fell asleep for a few more minutes.

At some point, he gathered enough strength to wake up. He didn't want to bother Smoker either, because he knew he should go to work, but leaving that warm shelter was very difficult.

He dressed in a shirt that was huge on him and pants that he used to wear for sports, but now had been relegated to a cloth with which he covered his legs to be at home. At least it was clean clothes. He didn't need to fake or maintain some kind of glamorous appearance with Smoker. The man already knew what he was like and liked him that way.

He offered him a coffee or something for breakfast. Smoker only accepted the coffee, but nothing else because he had to go.

Ace walked him to the door and they shared one more kiss before he left. He wanted to feel the arms of that man a little more and that heat that seemed to assure him that everything would be fine.

As soon as they pulled away, Ace remembered that he had opened the door before starting to say goodbye to him, so he clearly heard a scream that came from outside.

"Kemuri!"

Smoker's arms left him and he had to greet the boy who came running to jump on top of him. A few feet away, Ace saw Sabo addressing them and felt something freeze within him. Could it be that he saw them? He shouldn't be worried about that. Ace was within his right to be with whoever he wanted.

"What are you doing here?" Said the boy after hugging the policeman. "Why did you come when I was not there? It's not fair! We couldn't play."

"It was something improvised," he assured, smiling at him and stroking Luffy's black hair. "Next time I promise you it will be when you are here."

"Mmm okay." Luffy didn't seem very convinced, but agreed while pouting angrily.

That expression seemed funny to Ace, but instantly his eyes fell on Sabo who was looking at the situation from the outside. He seemed tense or so Ace thought.

"Kemuri, this is Sabo, my other dad," Luffy explained chatty as he was and Ace wondered if he shouldn't be the one to make that introduction, but he didn't bother to interrupt the boy either. "Kemuri is my friend!"

Smoker approached extending a hand towards Sabo and pronouncing his name correctly. Ace gulped, not knowing why he should feel this nervous at the time as they greeted each other. It was just about his ex meeting his... current partner? Whatever, it was very awkward.

"I'll talk to you later," Smoker assured and Ace nodded. He would have liked to say goodbye to him under other circumstances, but this would be for the best.

As soon as Smoker left, Ace continued to feel a bit weird about what had just happened. He could feel Sabo's gaze on him in a way that he didn't like.

"Why don't you go wake Law up, Luffy? I think he's still sleeping."

"Torao~!"

The boy ran off at the mention of his cousin and got lost inside the house. Ace looked at Sabo in that instant and didn't know exactly what to say. Why didn't the words come out? Why did it feel like he just did something wrong? How ridiculous!

"Was everything okay?" Ace asked, extending his hand for Sabo to give him Luffy's backpack and he handed it to him.

"Yes, Luffy was very good and he didn't feel bad either," he replied in a serious voice that surprised Ace. "Was he… the person you are dating?"

He gritted his teeth in annoyance at having to answer that question, but he must have guessed it would happen.

"His name is Smoker," he reminded him. "He's a good man, he worked together with Garp and Sengoku."

"Sure, I imagine they love you dating a cop."

The clear irony made him frown.

"I go out with who I want, I don't do it to please anyone."

"And it seems perfect to me, Ace, but… it might not be appropriate for you to bring your dates to the house where our son lives. It could be dangerous."

What? How?

The angry tone with which he said that didn't go unnoticed by Ace. He had to take a moment to make sure that he had heard correctly and even then he didn't come out of his astonishment.

"Are you serious?" He asked, feeling anger and outrage welling up in him. "Do you think I'm capable of neglecting him like this? I inform you that that’s not happening and I don't have to give you any explanations on my life."

"You have to when that concerns Luffy," he retorted.

"Who I got in bed with is not something that concerns you nor does it have to do with my son."

"He's our son."

"Goodbye, Sabo."

He had the pleasure of closing the door in his face.

How the fuck did that fucker dare say something like that to him? Ace felt very angry and frustrated in that instant. All the relaxation he had achieved was gone in an instant. However annoyed he was, Sabo kept haunting his mind. Always him. For better or for worse, he was stuck there and he couldn't get him out.


	28. Chapter 28

Ivankov was many things besides an endocrinologist. He also actively participated in social organizations and collaborated in his husband's projects to contribute to the environment. Jinbe was a very dedicated man, he still made him fall in love with the same passion he put into his work and in life. Over the years, he realized that one of his frustrated professions was psychology. A wide variety of people turned to him for advice or words of encouragement. Specially, non-hegemonic identities and queer people. However, he didn't connect with anyone like he did with Ace.

He always tried to keep quiet, but with that child he couldn't. He still remembered the first time he appeared in his office. He looked like a malnourished kitten beaten by life. He felt so sorry for that puppy that he couldn't forget him. It was a creature that had been overwhelmed by the circumstances he had to go through. How not to feel mortified seeing that boy so lost? Even more so having to go through a pregnancy. His head was a mess that would take time to fix.

He was able to witness those changes and Ace's strong evolution. He even felt excited when he saw him improve while taking care of his son until the day he came to tell him that he wanted to start changing his appearance, at least the things that were not helping him develop as he really was. He had countless talks with that boy about gender, sexuality and identity. It was a blank mind that the system would reject and Ivan felt responsible for giving him tools to defend himself when he had to come out to life and take care of his son. Bon-boy had also done an incredible job with therapy. Ace seriously got better.

Now that child —because he was barely a baby in his early twenties— was having a conflict again that destabilized him too much.

Periodically, Ace went to appointments to monitor the progress of the treatment, the changes in his body and how he had been feeling. Besides that, they also took time to talk.

Ivan had been watching him pacing back and forth in his office for several minutes furious and angry as he ranted about Sabo.

"How dare he tell me that?" Ace mentioned angrily. "He treated me like I don't care about Luffy! What does he know who I take to my house? Besides, I could never endanger my son. I would not date a person who I know could harm him. That idiot shows up after 4 years and thinks he has the right to tell me that! Agh, I hate him..."

"Don't you think he might be jealous?"

Ivan's question seemed enough to get Ace to stop his walk and not burn the ground. The boy looked at him with intrigue and instantly denied.

"No, I don't think so," he replied. "We don't have that kind of relationship."

"Are you sure?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and Ace avoided his gaze. That boy had a big problem and could barely notice it.

"Anyway, he can't tell me that even if he's jealous."

Ace sat back down at Ivan's desk and practically slumped back into the chair. He almost laughed when he saw him offended and with his arms crossed. He was a very mature and responsible young man, but he also had some little boy attitudes. He was still young, maybe too young for all the things that happened and was still living, but he also proved to be very strong to face them.

"It's not that bad, boy," Ivan assured, although Ace didn't seem happy with his words. "We all say things we don't want when we are upset. Could it be that you are looking for an excuse to be angry with him?"

"I don't need excuses when he makes merits to upset me."

"I don't think he's doing it on purpose, either." Ivan rested his hands on his desk and noticed that Ace seemed a bit calmer. "Why don't you focus your energy on something else? Weren't you dating the cop? How's that going?"

"Well..." Ace replied. "In fact the problem was because he saw us together at the door."

"Yeah, you mentioned it," he nodded with a raised eyebrow not understanding how they'd gotten back to the same thing. "How about Luffy? Did you get the costume for his kindergarten show? Maybe we can go see it with Jinbe."

"It's for the school's anniversary," he explained. "I already got his lion costume where you told me. I had no idea that I had to take care of that."

"That's how the parenting world works, boy. Didn't they add you to a WhatsApp group chat?"

"Don't talk to me about it, I have it silenced."

He laughed when he heard it and more when Ace showed him his chats, where the group of parents appeared with more than 1500 unread messages.

"They're crazy about the show, I'm not going to read that," he said in absolute denial and then his grimace twisted in disgust, as if he'd remembered something that was stressing him. "Sabo promised Luffy to go, I don't know if I'll tell him..."

Ivan looked carefully at Ace for a few moments wondering how the conversation had turned around to Sabo again. It seemed that the mind of that child was struggling to bring him back to the center of his thoughts. This only indicated some things that surely Ace wasn't ready to hear yet.

He couldn't berate him. He also had been twenty years old, denied feelings and prohibited himself some things in pursuit of others. That child still had a long emotional road before discovering what it was that he wanted.

"You have to tell him, Ace," Ivan interjected. "Luffy is going to be disappointed if he doesn't show up. Didn't you want them to have a relationship?"

"I'm not so sure anymore..."

"Ace," he mentioned as a warning and heard him growl in annoyance.

"Okay, okay," Ace snapped. "I will tell him."

That was better. He had to give in a bit if he wanted things to work out. He even saw him send Sabo the message with the day and time of the event. Ivan wondered if he could see the so much-mentioned father that day. He would have to insist Jinbe to make some room to go. It would be an interesting sight to watch, in a number of ways.

**.**

**.**

**.**

He had to get up very early that day, more than usual, and he even missed one of his college classes. It was Luffy's first school performance, he had to be there. In the end he ended up leaving that annoying WhatsApp group chat. He hated it. He didn't understand why they had to talk so much about that stupid four-year-old boy's play. Wasn't it supposed to be done for the little ones to have fun? Why then did they have to send 500 messages in less than 10 minutes? Ace started by ignoring them, then silenced the group chat and eventually ended up leaving. What the fuck did he care what they talked about in there. If the teacher told him that Luffy had to go on such a day at a certain time in a lion costume, what else was there to talk about? What did it matter if the costumes were a little different? He was not going to coordinate with the other parents to buy it from the same place or give someone money to do it. It seemed like a waste of time and a bit ridiculous.

Maybe he was just jaded and took it out on that group. Although he was very relieved that he didn't have to be part of it. He would never accept being added to any group chat again.

Again, waking Luffy was torture. He couldn't wake him up, so he went with the boy sleeping on his shoulder. Rosinante busied himself putting some tea in a thermos and bringing cookies for the children, because Law also had to be early for his own third grade presentation.

Ace buckled up and rode in the back of the car while Rosi drove. The passenger seat was where all the costumes and other things went. Inadvertently, he also fell asleep while hugging Luffy for a while and only woke up when they parked. Damn it, his whole face was full of drool, and his son wasn't in much of a different situation. There wasn't much time, so he wiped it off with the back of his hand and left Luffy's just the way it was.

His child woke up while they were walking to school.

"I'm hungry..." he said sleepily rubbing his eyes. It was obvious what would happen.

"You didn't want to get up for breakfast," he reminded him and Luffy pouted like he was about to cry.

"I'm hungry!"

Ace felt more stressed. Last year Luffy didn't participate in any presentation, but this one he had to do and he wished it was the last one. He knew that was impossible. He should attend a million plays until the brat finished school. What a torture. Hopefully in the future they won't be such troublesome events.

They had to stop for a few moments and give him some of the cookies so that he would stop complaining. Rosinante served him tea in a cup with a lid so he wouldn't spill anything, and the boy was happy with that.

In the end they rushed for nothing, because they were just setting up the stage with the different decorations of all the plays. Each course had its own presentation. The kindergarten children would go first, then the primary and secondary school children.

Luffy busied himself finishing his breakfast —which was obviously not enough and he could already imagine the brat desperate for more food when he finished his presentation— and then went to greet his teacher. Viola was organizing the show with the young children, along with the other teacher Lola. Rosinante had had to go elsewhere with Law and Ace agreed that he should speak to the parents of his son's classmates.

Normally, he was very anxious about having to engage in conversations with people, but little by little he was losing that sense of dread. This was because he spent a lot of time having body issues and had the constant stigma that people judged him, wondered _what he was_ or just looked at him weird. He began to lose that feeling when he began to be more confident about his image and when he realized that nothing would happen if he talked with someone for a couple of minutes, as it happened in college. However, talking to parents at school made him feel bored as well as anxious.

There were people there who gave him mean looks —more conservative people he supposed— but Ace ignored them. Still, there were a couple of people he liked. Like Rebecca's parents or Usopp's mom, children who always played with his son.

Luffy stayed with the children and Ace had to go to arrange the things he brought for the show. There he found them. Scarlet greeted him with a very friendly smile and Usopp's mom, Banchina, also came over.

"Rebecca made a fuss because she wanted a lion suit with a mane," the woman explained with an irritated expression and Ace felt good not being the only one like that. "They were sold out! Apparently everyone in the city needed lion costumes with a mane, Kyros went all over the place to find one."

"Yassop wanted to make Usopp some rabbit ears out of aluminum foil," Banchina commented just as tiredly.

"I barely had time to get Luffy one," Ace commented, because he had gone through something similar to what happened to Scarlet. He forgot to buy the costume and didn't get one, until Ivan gave him the information of a place where he got it. Ivan had acquaintances for everything. "Kyros is with Rebecca?"

"He doesn't detach from her side, I think he'll even cry when he sees the show."

That seemed funny to him. The man seemed to love his daughter madly, he had already seen it.

"Will your family come, Ace?" Banchina asked him and he nodded.

"I guess they'll be here in a bit, they wouldn't miss out on recording more of Luffy."

The women laughed and Ace could perfectly imagine Garp and Sengoku recording every moment of Luffy and Law in their school performances. For his part, he wanted this day to end soon.

When Viola and Lola told them that it would be time soon, the children had to go dress up. Ace helped his son put on the lion costume. It was a one piece, as if it were a romper with very soft and fluffy feet and hands. It had a hood with a large brown mane and huge ears, in addition to a lion's tail. He looked very adorable. He also painted whiskers and a kitten nose.

"Remember to smile a lot that the grandparents will be filming you," he said and Luffy nodded.

"Can we have hamburgers later?"

Ace sighed. That brat could only think of one thing.

"Yes, we'll go grab lunch later, but after seeing Law's presentation, okay?"

That seemed to fill the boy with more encouragement, so he went very happy with his teacher to finish preparing.

Outside he met Rosi and Law again. The boy had to perform later, so he would wait to see Luffy. Garp and Sengoku were already next to them with cell phones and cameras ready as if they were weapons to shoot as soon as the curtain opened. Was it necessary?

"Luffy already has his costume," he mentioned, settling in next to them. Did you practice with your classmates, Law?

"Not much," replied the boy sitting next to Corazón. "My teacher told us that we were alright and that she wanted to go smoke."

He arched an eyebrow at that and Rosinanten had no explanation to give him. Miss Alvida was a peculiar teacher and apparently not very patient. After all, Corazón was also a man who smoked a lot. Ace didn't have those kinds of habits, although he did drink wine or beer from time to time if they bought some.

Ivan and Jinbe arrived just in time, but they couldn't talk because the children's presentation started right then. Ace realized he had no idea what it was about. Maybe he should have asked the other parents or paid attention while he was still in the damn group chat. Still, he would find out now why his son had to disguise himself as a lion.

Apparently, the plot of the play revolved around a circus. The teachers were the tamers with their costumes while the children were the animals. Ace arched an eyebrow, not sure if it was an appropriate theme for a young children's play. After all, circuses weren't frowned upon when it came to animal abuse, and he wasn't sure whether children should be animals while the teachers were power figures who dominated them. Could it be that he was overthinking it? The next time his child had a show, he would pay more attention to the content.

Still, Luffy seemed amused. He roared and danced on stage alongside his classmates. He looked cute and adorable like a beautiful kitten. Ace decided to take a small photo to keep as a souvenir on his cell phone, beyond all the ones the old men would be taking. Ivan also recorded a bit of the presentation.

Even if he was his doctor, Ivan and Jinbe had grown close to Luffy. Ace went to see them all the time, for different reasons —treatment, training, advice, existential problems— and the boy was almost always with him. Consequently, Luffy developed a great affection for Ivan and Jinbe, which was actually mutual.

A laugh escaped him when some children from the group of lions collided with the group of rabbits. He saw Luffy laugh too and interrupt the play a bit, but instantly the teachers knew how to return everything to normal. It was normal for such problems to occur. Ace had never participated in those kinds of plays, because he hated them just like he hated school during the years he attended, but he did go to some of Law's. The little boy at first didn't like it, but then he began to participate. He recalled that they went to one with Luffy when he was just a few months old. Back then Ace didn't want to go out and Rosinante convinced him to go to Law's year-end performance. Unexpectedly, he had a great time and Luffy had fun too despite being so young, he looked at everything with great curiosity without letting go of his pacifier.

Those little outings had meant a lot to him and now he could rest easy enjoying his son's play without feeling observed or judged by anyone alongside the people he liked.

In that instant he remembered something: Sabo.

Could it be that he had come? Ace hadn't seen him.

Since he sent the message, it only showed him that it was read and didn't receive an answer. At first he attributed it to Sabo being an idiot but later he thought that maybe he had a lot of work or he forgot. Sabo forgot a lot about things. But was it too much to send him a voice message at least? That way he would know whether to tell Luffy he was going or not.

He wasn't upset with him anymore — almost — he just didn't want his son to be disappointed. Sabo was occupying an important place in his baby's life and he couldn't bear to see him sad because of that idiot.

He thought about sending him another message, but the play ended before he could get his cell phone out. The children came over to say hello and Luffy waved his hands very hard towards where they were and even further back.

He went to find his child dressed as a lion and took him ,costume and all, to see the others. Luffy received congratulations of all kinds until he ran away from them and threw himself to hug _someone_.

Ace bit his lip at the sight. So he had come. Why hadn't he answered him then? Was he still upset too? He no longer felt the same anger as before, but, if Sabo came over to speak, he couldn't assure that they could have a friendly conversation.

Was that war stance necessary? He remembered Ivan's words: _'Couldn't you be looking for an excuse to be angry with him?'_ Ace didn't feel like he had no reason to be upset, but maybe he was forcing it to last in time. He was not a spiteful person, but why was he one when it came to Sabo? Maybe his anger was just covering up something else he didn't want to think about.

He saw him approach with Luffy by the hand and, as always, the boy introduced him to Ivan and Jinbe, who didn't know him. Ace turned away his face so he didn't have to face Ivan's eyes that clearly said 'So, this is him, huh?' It was inevitable that this would happen, one day they would end up meeting him, but he was a bit ashamed.

Instantly, he could tell that Garp wasn't happy with Sabo being there, but Sengoku and Rosinante were much faster. They took him away to show him where Law's act would be and the boy went with them too.

"I'm a little hungry," Ivan said suddenly, looking at his husband. "How about we go buy something to eat, honey? I saw that they set up some tables with some delicious things."

"I want to, I want to!" Luffy retorted, jumping up. "Carry me Jinbe!"

The man laughed and agreed. Luffy loved to climb on Jinbe's back because he was so tall and felt like he was ten feet tall, although he also looked tiny up there.

"Iva..."

"We'll bring you something, don't worry," Ivan interrupted his protests. "Just wait for us here."

Shit. Was this real? Did everyone plot to leave him alone with Sabo?

They both looked at each other, undecided whether to say something or run. Ace noticed that Sabo looked very tired and didn't feel like fighting, even though a few moments ago he would have sworn otherwise.

"Ace..."

"Yes?" He murmured but the noise around him was quite loud. With so many children and people he could hardly hear himself speak.

"Do you want to go outside for a bit?"

He understood Sabo's question and accepted. The school had huge gardens. So they went out where they could stop being overwhelmed by the noise of the people. They walked for a few moments until they came across trees. The neatly cut green grass and the perfect, little trees were nothing like the forest where they lived their childhood. That same place where they met, ran, built a house and even more things happened than they dared to say now.

Whenever they were together he remembered those kinds of moments. It seemed that every tiny corner where he looked could evoke some memory of their shared childhood, where both were happy and it seemed that they would never be apart.

"Ace, I'm sorry," Sabo said, finally stopping among the trees. The shadow of the leaves protected them from the strong rays of the sun. "I know I shouldn't have told you that and that I don't have to get into your life, I just... I can't quite get used to this."

There was no way to feel angry at the moment. Sabo looked sorry and any negative feelings about him faded.

"It's over, Sabo," he answered with a sigh, leaning his back against one of the trees, a little relieved not to have to argue. "We both have to get used to taking care of Luffy together, it's weird for me too, but it will work out fine."

There was a small silence where he could only hear the wind. If it weren't for all the fuss at school, he could almost pretend that there was no one else there but the two of them.

"I'm not used to seeing you with someone either," Sabo confessed, and those words made his skin crawl.

What was he supposed to answer to that? Ace wasn't a thing that belonged to Sabo, Smoker, or anyone else. He could decide to be with whoever he wanted. Those feelings weren't the right ones and he knew it, but did they bother him? He wasn't sure how to answer that. He wouldn't even know how he would react if he saw Sabo with another person, but he would have to make up his mind to what might happen.

"I guess it's a matter of time."

Soon both of them would forget all these things that had stirred up because of their reunion. Their relationship hadn't worked out when they were kids and their time had passed. They went their separate ways but they had to continue sharing spaces for their son.

Still, a ripping wound to his chest nearly made him gasp. A blow that burned his gut and ripped his skin. That was how he felt and he hoped that time would really help him heal that wound that was only bleeding and oozing with the intention of causing death.

"Do you remember the tree house we made?" He asked unexpectedly, drawing Sabo's attention. "I recently went to visit Dadan with Luffy and took him there, although everything is run down, it's still quite standing."

Sabo widened his eyes in surprise and smiled when he said that.

"I also went some time ago," he replied. "What did Dadan say about Luffy? Was she surprised?"

"She went crazy with him for a while, but I think they liked each other."

He quickly told him about the mischief the boy did on his trip and they ended up remembering some other moments that relaxed their conversation until it became a little more enjoyable. They talked a bit about work. Sabo told him that he kept doing interviews and wrote a lot, that's why he didn't reply to the messages — besides the fight, or so Ace supposed —.

"I listened to your podcast," he commented and smiled at the surprised look he got. "I really liked it, although I still couldn't follow it, but peaked my interest. I also listened to some episodes of 'Stories of the Body'.

"Woah, that's great..." He sighed really delighted to hear it. "You could tell what happened to you too. All bodies have stories and yours would be a very good episode."

Ace instantly denied because he could not imagine recounting his life as if it were the chapter of a series or an interview, it seemed too over the top.

"I don't think so," he assured with a laugh. "I don't have the vocation of an announcer like you."

"I'm a journalist, but I'm also kinda interested in radio work."

Talking to Sabo was very interesting and fun. Ace felt that he could spend hours talking to him about all kinds of topics, like when they were children and their minds wandered every time they got together. As much as he would love that, they couldn't stay there long. He should go see Law's act, reunite with his son, his family and friends.

Sabo wanted to say goodbye and Ace was not satisfied with this.

"Stay and watch Law's presentation," he offered. "Luffy... will want to spend time with you."

He didn't seem to finish convincing him and he did not want to waste any more time there. So he took Sabo's hand and pulled to lead him back inside. Just like Luffy did with Law when he wanted to force him to go to a place where his cousin refused.

Sabo said nothing and followed him. He didn't want to think about the relationship they had had or the one they had now or would have. That was not worth it. Ace at that time was just sure that spending time with Sabo was enjoyable and his son was looking forward to seeing him. He preferred to ignore the fact that their hands were joined as they walked and did not loosen. Maybe it was his imagination, but he felt Sabo intertwine his fingers with his and Ace let him. Like when they were twelve years old and walked through the forest shyly holding hands in fear that someone would see them or realize, perhaps, that they were doing something wrong.

Was it bad? Of course. Because it confused them and only created more torments that would drive them crazy at night. Ace ignored those questions and the consequences of his actions in order to feel that warm hand clinging to his for a little longer.


	29. Chapter 29

Going to the supermarket was a very fun adventure. Luffy liked it a lot when his grandparents let him go with them, because they always bought him everything he wanted, his dad was more difficult to convince. This time it was the first time he went with Sabo. He stared at the shelves hungrily and pointed to the refrigerated, plastic-wrapped sandwiches. They looked delicious and ready to eat. His mouth watered.

The boy tugged at Sabo's clothes and Sabo looked at him with intrigue.

"I want some," he said, pointing to the sandwiches and pouting. The same one who sometimes managed to convince Ace and completely subdue Uncle Cora-san or the elders.

Sabo didn’t seem very convinced by his puppy face.

"But we'll eat when we get home, Luffy," he replied with a calm voice and the boy only increased his sad look.

"But Sabo…" he insisted, still holding his clothes. “I promise I'll share with you, dad always buys me something when we go out.”

That was not true and Sabo narrowed his eyes at him. Luffy was a bad lier, but he was just hungry and wanted a little snack before lunch. In the end, Sabo sighed and took the sandwich that the boy wanted, but he made it a condition to pay for it first and then he could eat it. Luffy frowned and crossed his arms in annoyance. How dare he torture him like this? Well, he agreed anyway.

That day, Sabo had gone to school to look for him and would stay with him for a while in the afternoon. He was a bit sad about not being able to see Torao, because the other boy got out of school later. If it was a normal day, Luffy would wait with his teacher for Law to come out and someone would pick them up together, but today was the day where he spent time with Sabo. Twice a week he spent the afternoons with him and once he could stay the night.

It was fun spending time together. Since he found out that Sabo was his other dad, he began to live with him a lot. It was a surprise to be honest and Luffy still wasn't getting used to it. He had asked Ace if he should call Sabo ‘Dad’ too and he replied that he could call him whatever he wanted, that if at some point he wanted to say ‘Dad’ it would be fine but he could also keep calling him Sabo. It was very complicated, but Luffy didn't think much about it.

He liked Sabo. Whenever he went to visit him they played a lot. They also went to the park, watched television and ate everything. Koala was sometimes there and sometimes not, but Luffy understood that he was going there to spend time with his other dad. It was fun. Sometimes he would also like to invite Torao or his dad, because the more people the better, but they wouldn't let him. Sabo told him that they could invite Law, but he didn't mention anything about Ace. They didn't talk much about him and he didn't understand why.

He remembered Torao explaining that his two dads didn't get along and Luffy felt confused. Why didn't Daddy love Sabo? If they explained to him that to make children you needed love, and that he was made with love. Could it be that after having children love was spent? He would not have children with Torao then.

He regretted not being able to spend time with both of them together, because he felt that his dad was sad when he went to visit Sabo. Luffy knew that both Law and Ace had trouble sleeping at times and he felt responsible for them. With his hugs, they could always rest better. He lamented a little not being able to be there on some nights, but he also understood that Sabo needed his hugs to go to sleep. It was frustrating not being able to hug them all at once, but he had to settle.

Sabo was just as comfortable as his dad to sleep and he also had nightmares at night, so he took care to hug him very hard to drive away the bad dreams. Uncle Rosinante explained that this way he could help them with the nightmares and that he did.

After they left the supermarket, Luffy was very excited to receive his sandwich and Sabo reached into the bag to give it to him. He was so happy that he forgot to remove the plastic before biting into it. Luckily, Sabo helped him not to choke on the paper.

They walked back. Luffy gave him one hand to be guided while with the other he enjoyed his meal. He remembered that he had promised to share and hesitated for a moment. Maybe Sabo wouldn't mind… but he had said he would.

He tugged on Sabo's hand when they stopped at a corner waiting to cross and handed him his sandwich. At first he said no, but Luffy insisted. Sometimes he shared food with his father or Torao —and many times he tried to steal from his plate— so he wanted to do it with Sabo as well.

"Can I have some?" He asked and the boy nodded.

Sabo took a small bite of the sandwich just to not turn it down and Luffy smirked.

He couldn't understand why dad didn't love Sabo, he was great! He was very good at video games that Luffy didn't quite understand, but he always asked him to explain. When they got back, he would tell him again.

When they got to Sabo's house they didn't go inside and Luffy didn't understand why. There was someone waiting at the door and instantly he noticed that the atmosphere became tense, uncomfortable, was something bad happening?

"So, you went out," said the man with hair that reminded him of a bowl of fruit. “You're lucky, I was about to leave.”

"What do you want, Stelly?"

The tone Sabo spoke with declared annoyance and aggressiveness, so much so that Luffy felt worried. Suddenly the little piece of sandwich in his hands lost all importance to him.

“You haven't answered my calls or those of our parents, someone had to verify that you were still alive.”

"I didn't answer because I'm not interested in talking to you," Sabo said. “I have more important things to take care of.”

That answer didn't seem to convince Mr. Bowlhead. He had a frown and a disdainful look. He crossed his arms and his eyes fell on Luffy for the first time since he was there.

“And that?” He said, puzzled. “Don't tell me you lost your job and now you babysit. Typical of you, pathetic.”

He didn't understand any of those words, but he didn't like the tone he used when he spoke. Without realizing it, Luffy leaned closer to Sabo, not because he was scared but because he could tell Sabo was  _ not ok _ . He was unable to explain it, but he could tell the frustration that ran through Sabo. He could almost see a raging fire on the crown of his head.

"I don't babysit," Sabo clarified, jaw set and eyes fierce. “His name is Luffy and he is my son.”

Those words seemed to almost throw Mr. Bowlhead on his back. What was strange about it? Luffy didn't understand the surprise. Yes, he did tell Torao and his friends, but no one seemed that shocked.

“What?!” He snapped, puzzled. He looked at Sabo and then at Luffy, as if he were playing ‘Find 7 Differences’ and then Stelly realized that, indeed, the differences were very few except for the hair. “How? At what point did this happen? It couldn't have been in England, you just left for a while and that child is no baby.”

All the screaming annoyed him and he looked at Sabo pulling his clothes for his attention.

"I don't like Bowlhead," he mentioned without any shame. “Can we go to eat?”

Luffy remembered that he had a sandwich and continued eating, but Stelly wasn’t amused by his comment.

"How rude," he snapped, looking at the boy as if he were a disgusting creature and not his nephew. “Where did you get it from? If you don't have a girlfriend, you don't want to marry the girl our parents got you, did you adopt this brat?”

"I'm not interested in getting married and I didn't adopt Luffy, and what I do with my life is none of your business."

Those same answers were the ones he always got. Anyway, Stelly took a few moments to think. If that brat was Sabo's son, he looked biological, because he had similar features, but he couldn't be sure without a DNA test. In addition, that insolence and the rustic way he eated with an almost animal bearing brought back memories, unpleasant memories that made his face and teeth ache.

It was in that instant that he understood everything.

"Oh no…" He mentioned almost as if he were going to faint from the shock. “Don't tell me that the mother is that... who dressed as a man. The one you were with before you were in a coma.”

Luffy didn't like those words at all, although he didn't hear them all either because he was busy finishing eating. Mother? He didn't have a mother.

"I don't have a mother," he clarified because apparently that man didn't know or was stupid. Was he not aware that there are people who have two dads and two moms too? “I have two dads.”

His eyes fell on Sabo, who was transmitting an energy that he didn't like. He had the impression that he wanted to kill that man in front of them like one would kill zombies in video games, but he did not. He seemed to relax when Luffy answered that guy.

"It's true, Luffy," Sabo commented and took the boy's hand. “We better go inside, Stelly isn't invited to lunch.”

That made him happy and he followed his other dad ignoring the questions that this annoying man asked them. They did not let him pass and he stayed outside. Luffy tried to cheer Sabo up because he felt he was sad, but maybe the food would make him feel better. He had also found that person weird but luckily lunch would make them forget the strange and uncomfortable moment.

**.**

**.**

**.**

This day had been a very good one and Ace felt that nothing could ruin it. He was finally seeing the results of his study at the university. He passed the papers he submitted —with very few instances where he had to redo or correct some issues— and he also passed his first exam. It was going well. Maybe it was because he didn't study alone, but it was nice to feel that self satisfaction.

Things with Sabo had also improved a lot. Luffy seemed to be delighted with the relationship he had with him and that made Ace very happy. His young son came back very happy after spending time with Sabo and, luckily, Ace no longer felt uncomfortable having to chat with him.

Their short talks at the door or the text messages that were sent, almost always, had to do with Luffy. Sometimes Ace also commented on some of the news stories he read in Amphibia or gave his opinion with the new podcasts he listened to. They had even sent each other some very funny memes.

Ace found himself at various points laughing at the messages Sabo sent him and he answered them very quickly. He was very funny and witty, so much so that he lost several hours of study chatting with him. How did he end up passing? Who knows. Now he had to focus on the other tests.

He should start studying. He put the phone aside and looked at his notebooks. About ten minutes passed when he saw the cell phone screen turn on and took it. Damn, he should turn it off or at least disconnect the wifi.

He forgot to do it because the meme Sabo sent him distracted him.

_ “This is you and Luffy” _ read the message at the bottom of the photo. 

The meme read ‘When no paternity test is needed’ and you could see an image of a large white cat sleeping belly up and next to him an equal, but smaller, cat in the same position. He laughed feeling tenderness for those animals. Sabo had already told him that Luffy slept just like him and he didn't believe him. Ace didn’t move much at night while Luffy turned and occupied the entire bed, although perhaps his gesture was very similar at those times.

_ "Hahaha are we two cats? And you, what are you? A dog?" _

Again, he found himself wasting his time with the cell phone and more specifically with Sabo. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he wouldn't regret it either. He didn't think about it long, because immediately his eyes fell on Sabo's answer.

_ "Wouldn’t that turn Luffy into some kind of cat-dog?" _

_ "He's a bit weird, like a chupacabra or the elf from Harry Potter" _

_ "Don't give him a sock or he'll want to run away." _

A laugh escaped his lips. He couldn't help but imagine Luffy saying ‘Dobby is free’ while running with a sock. Later he would roleplay that with his child.

The tension they had been through lately made him forget how much fun he always had with Sabo. That was one of the things that brought them together when they were kids. They were both alone and were each other's first friends, but they also hit it off well and had a very similar sense of humor because they grew up together until their teen years. As they grew up, they discovered many things together. There were no secrets. Their relationship was one of pure trust and absolute dedication. How did he forget about that?

No, Ace didn't forget. He just didn't know that he could have that again with Sabo, that same closeness that he enjoyed so much when they were two children who spent all day in the woods stepping on dry leaves in autumn, kicking snow in the winter, running in the spring under the sun or swimming in the river in the summer.

He remembered what Bon-chan told him about how it was normal to feel moved by Sabo, because he was the first person who loved him as he really was. He met him as a child and was totally ignorant of anything to do with identity, sexuality, or contraceptive care.

Good heavens, neither of them knew anything and on top of that they had wanted to run away? It would have been a disaster!

Sometimes Ace thought about that. What if their plan went well and they ran away? Luffy already  _ was on his way _ at that time. What would they have done? He was terrified to imagine it and, a little, he thought that things had not gone so bad, it could have been much worse. Although Sabo had a very bad time and Ace did too, they were finally able to overcome it. How would two fourteen-year-old brats have done trying to survive indigence while carrying a baby? Ace had the feeling that it wouldn’t have gone well and imagined himself bleeding to death in the mountains... Good thing it didn't happen.

Maybe he should tell Sabo about that later, although they weren't ready to talk about what happened back then. They never mentioned that, their escape, Sabo's family or anything. Ace wondered if he continued to be in contact with them, but never inquired. It was better not to bring them even in thought.

Luffy was happy and he… felt a little weird.

He didn't want to acknowledge the excitement and smiles Sabo made him feel with a stupid message with a silly cat meme. How could he be that dumb? At least no one saw him in his room, where he could feel stupid in complete solitude.

From time to time the question of what Sabo was to him would appear in his mind, but Ace always ignored it. He didn't feel able to think about it. Things were still a bit recent and they couldn't revive something that had been buried in the past either. Was the relationship between the two of them dead? The night in Sabo's apartment made him wonder. He was sure it was a slip caused by the emotion of being reunited, by the memories of a frustrated relationship. Still, were these messages and the silly happiness they caused him also part of the slip?

He thought of Smoker in that instant and how good it felt to be with him. Anyway, he could see that the feelings that he made him feel were very different from those he had for Sabo.

With Smoker he felt a lot of security, calm and warmth where he wanted to sink for hours. While with Sabo he laughed like a teenager and at the same time felt that he could talk about anything. Smoker was too serious, he would never laugh at a cat meme. Even so, the policeman gave him stability and Ace needed it more than anything, besides his family loved him. Instead Sabo was like fire to Ace, an addictive blaze that always ended up burning him whenever he got too close but never close enough for Ace to be afraid to do it again.

This was very confusing.

He hoped that maybe time and cooling his head would help him put his feelings into perspective and see what he really wanted.

He and Smoker weren't dating, but they did have a relationship with a certain degree of formality so much so that he could stay at his place. However, they never talked about ‘being a thing’ Ace didn't feel like Smoker should be faithful to him or something, nor did he feel jealous or anything like that. Was it weird? He didn’t know.

Could he imagine having a relationship with Sabo? He thought of them together, sleeping in the same bed and walking with Luffy like the time they went to the park. It was an unexpectedly  _ cute _ fantasy.

He got up to get himself something to drink because of his headache from thinking so much nonsense.

He passed Law's room and heard a shout from Luffy. He looked out at the children playing with dolls and smiled. Everything seemed in order, so he preferred to leave the two to their own devices, he didn’t need to be on top of them all the time. If something happened, he was sure that Law would call them, but they would also hear the disaster from Luffy.

Rosinante was in the kitchen. Apparently he had just spoken on the phone and seemed confused, there were also various papers and things from his work. He knew he ran part of his brother's businesses —of which he had some shares and owned— and he supposed he would be upset about it… or about  _ him _ .

"Problems with the Mingo?" Ace mentioned as he went over to heat coffee in the microwave and put milk in it too. It seemed funny to him to use the nickname that Luffy had made up.

Rosi sighed and Ace realized he needed a coffee too.

"There will be a show soon and the organization is being a bit disastrous." He sighed wearily and went to the window to open it and start smoking.

He had always had that habit and didn't seem to intend to drop it, even though he tried not to smoke with the kids or when Ace was pregnant.

"Sometimes I think it was not a good decision to get involved in this."

As he made the coffee and listened to him, Ace wondered what exactly he was talking about, to work with his brother or Doflamingo in particular. He never wanted to get into Rosi's life, but he knew that the relationship he had with that strange man was more than problematic.

He handed him the hot coffee with a smile.

"I think we all ask ourselves those kinds of questions in stressful times," he said, thinking of himself as well as he said that. “Have you thought about talking to him?”

Rosinante looked at him with an arched brow at his question and Ace felt that maybe he shouldn't get into territory that did not concern him. Still, what was wrong with it? Rosi always helped him so much that Ace felt that he also wanted to support him, even if it was a little, in those moments where he was not having a good time.

"It's not that easy," he answered, exhaling the smoke towards the window and took the coffee that Ace prepared for him to take a sip. “Doffy has times where he is even more  _ unreachable _ .”

He could imagine that it was due to his job and the celebrity scene that Doflamingo frequented. Rosinante didn’t belong to that world and he imagined that it was difficult to get close to his brother, who lived in vastly different spaces.

"Still, it seems he can't live away from you," Ace said, hoping he didn't sound so brazen with his comment. If there was someone in the world who he didn't want to upset, it was Rosi. “Although he is very weird, does he ever take off that pink coat?”

Corazón laughed when he said this and Ace smirked. At least he had gotten a smile, although he had already explained that that coat was like a kind of ‘personal brand’, but still he didn’t understand.

The doorbell of their house rang at that moment that they were enjoying their coffee. Who could it be? The old men were not there and they were not expecting anyone. Ace got up to open and was surprised to see the postman. Has anyone ordered any packages? No, whatever it was, it was addressed in his name. He had to sign the man's file where it said he delivered it and Ace looked at the envelope. He didn't remember ordering anything, but that was too small to be an Amazon shipment or something. It looked like a letter.

He tore the envelope without seeing anything but his name on the front and took out the paper that came inside. He walked back to the kitchen as he read it.

“What is it?” Rosi asked intrigued. “Debts or something like that?”

You wish, Ace thought.

His hands shook as he read. He passed a thousand times over the words written there and his blood ran cold.

"No…" he said, his voice making a thread. “It's... a subpoena.”

Rosi spat out the coffee he was drinking.

That letter was a document that summoned him to go to trial for the custody of his son.

Ace crumpled the paper in his hands wanting to tear it up.

The demand came from Sabo.


	30. Chapter 30

His fingers tapped on the table with exaggerated anxiety. He couldn't help it, his body had stopped reacting how it should since the stupid letter arrived. Ace was feeling so tense that he suspected his muscles might just tear with one wrong move. He felt unstable, fragile, and on edge. If someone spoke to him at the time, he was not sure if he would react violently or break into a thousand pieces.

How could this be happening?

He didn't believe it at first. It was impossible. Sabo wouldn't do that, would he? They were getting along, he wouldn't want to take Luffy from him. They had made an arrangement, they were trying to get things right, they even had a _friendly relationship_ , why would he sue him?

They had fought and were also angry when he just told him the truth about Luffy, but he didn’t think he was going to make a complaint to dispute the paternity of his son. This had to be a lie, a dirty lie that seemed to want to kill them.

He couldn’t hide this information from the old men and he didn’t want to. He needed help.

Garp and Sengoku called Tsuru, their trusted lawyer. The lady was serious and looked older than she really was, but she was also very experienced. She had even campaigned for the rights of LGBT+ people and advocated against gender violence. He knew she would defend his case well, getting involved. Ace trusted that woman, but what he wanted the most was for her to tell him that it wasn't happening.

Tsuru's gaze let him know that this was serious.

"It’s not a false document," the woman assured as she reread the lines of the letter.

"I should have killed that brat," Garp muttered through clenched fists and Tsuru denied.

"You'd better do nothing or you'll only make things worse, senile old man," she said authoritatively and then looked at Ace who was still completely dumbfounded. “I will investigate the complaint and who the plaintiff's attorney is.”

Ace denied because he couldn't believe it. How had he come to have a lawsuit?

"It can't be," he said stubbornly. “We were fine, we were even going to do a procedure where he recognized Luffy as his father, why is he doing this now?”

"And why didn't they do it before?" The woman asked but Ace didn't know what to answer.

Maybe he didn't because it had been a short time since they met again, he wanted Sabo to meet Luffy and he was also very busy with the mess on his head.

"Can I… lose him?" He said, almost muttering because he was afraid to put that possibility into words.

"Don't worry," Tsuru looked at him in a warm way. “They'll have to run over me before they take that child from you.”

Those sincere words penetrated deep inside him and he felt his eyes clouding over, but he held back. He didn't want to break now, but he felt overwhelmed. He wanted to hug Luffy tightly and never let go of him, but that wasn't enough to keep him by his side apparently.

He thanked Tsuru and they left her office with Garp. They went alone to that emergency appointment. At home, Rosi had stayed with Sengoku and the children. Thinking of his son alone at that moment made him feel very insecure, as if he would disappear when he came back, but he felt a little calmer knowing that he was home. He also considered stopping sending him to school, but he couldn't hide the boy in a box until this problem passed, Luffy wasn't a thing he could keep, but he was terrified at the thought of losing him.

He stayed inside the old man's car trying to calm himself down and think about everything that was happening. He thought of calling Sabo, but he still hadn't found the strength to do it, because maybe he would tell him that all of this was true and Ace wouldn't know how he was going to react.

After he introduced him to his son and set himself up so they could both have a relationship, were they really going to fight over Luffy? Why should they? Disappointment washed over his body and he thought again that there must be some mistake.

Garp was just as tense as he was and maybe even blamed him for what was happening, for having trusted Sabo, but he doubted he would tell him. They didn't even start the car, but he saw him squeeze the steering wheel hard and Ace thought he might break it. That man's big, heavy hand fell on his head making him wince from the shock.

"It'll be fine," was what Garp said and he understood that he was trying to support him, in her own way. Ace pursed his lips and lowered his head still with that hand on his hair that made him feel smaller.

"I don't know what I'd do without him," he murmured, thinking of Luffy. Perhaps many times he said he was unbearable, but he was unable to imagine his life without him at this point. He loved him and would never let him be taken away from him.

"We won't let that happen."

He felt the caresses on his hair and it was more comforting than he had imagined. Garp was bad at comforting people, but he was very reliable and could convey security, which Ace wanted at the time.

He asked if he could leave it at the clinic because he would go to see Ivan. He didn't have an appointment with him today, but he needed to talk with someone. As soon as the letter arrived, they went to see Tsuru and he still hadn't had time to take in all that information. Garp asked him if he wanted him to wait for him, but Ace said no. He would go back alone, because he needed time to digest it while knowing that Luffy was protected with people he trusted.

When he got out of the car and the old man left, Ace stopped before entering the clinic because his phone vibrated. His heart stopped as soon as he saw that Sabo was calling him. Should he answer? Tsuru told him to try not to contact him until she knows the details of the case, because anything said could harm him. It almost felt like part of a movie, but he found it hideous.

He swallowed hard as he brought the phone to his ear to answer.

"..."

"Hi Ace?"

He was silent when he heard it. He wanted to scream and yell. Send burning spears through the phone to kill him, but he just kept quiet in the middle of the street.

“What happens? You weren't answering me,” Sabo commented on the other side. Why did he sound so normal? “Did something happen to Luffy?”

He pursed his lips in anger. How could he be so cynical?

"Don't pretend, Sabo, please," he said in a serious, monstrous voice that surprised even him. “Why did you do that? I thought it was all good, that you really wanted to have a relationship with Luffy and me…”

With him? Perhaps he was a little excited to meet again. Talk to Sabo, laugh, and spend a little time with him. He experienced feelings that he had not experienced since his childhood and now everything had become a thick black mass stuck in his chest that seemed to want to kill him for how foolish he was.

"What are you saying, Ace? What is happening? We can talk when I go…”

"You won't see Luffy until you remove that demand," he said without knowing if what he was saying would be harmful or not. “Even more, you won't see him again.”

Sabo seemed taken aback by his words and asked again but Ace didn't feel up to listening to him anymore. He hung up the phone and turned off the cell phone without wanting to answer him again. He wasn't sure if Sabo was lying to him or not, but reality showed him that he had a demand with his name on it and Ace felt like his head would explode at that moment.

His feet moved fast, maybe too fast. He knew the way to Ivan's office by heart, but couldn't see where he was going. His eyes filled with tears he couldn't contain and he felt them roll down his face. He clenched his teeth in annoyance at the situation and at Sabo. Why did he have to do this when everything was going so _well_? It didn't make sense and he hated him for it!

Because he was not watching the way, he almost fell colliding with someone.

"I'm sorry..." he muttered wanting to leave, but the other person wouldn't let him.

"Ace?"

He recognized that voice immediately. Marco.

He swallowed hard when he saw him and winced when he realized that he must be a disaster according to the face Marco made when he saw him.

"Ah, Marco…" He muttered trying to speak normally as he wiped his face with the sleeves of his clothes and pretended that nothing was wrong. “I didn't see you, I was in a hurry.”

"I noticed," said the doctor, looking at him more carefully. “You're not ok”

That was a statement, not a question, but Ace couldn't deny it. He felt shattered and would think he would explode at any moment. He wanted to break things to get rid of the anger he had inside, but at the same time, he didn't have the strength to move. He just wanted to be told that nothing that was happening was true.

"Why don't you come with me and have a drink?" Marco suggested gently and Ace looked at him in surprise. “I was going to the machine to get a coffee, come while you wait for Ivankov to finish with his patients.”

Wasn't he done yet? Ace hadn't realized it was so early, but he didn't really think about it when he came. He nodded at the doctor's idea and accompanied him. Even though he didn't know him very much, he felt a little calmer for not being alone.

There were some chairs next to the coffee machine. Ace sat there and received a small hot plastic cup. He felt like a child in that instant, one who should be given a candy to calm down and stop crying. He remembered the last time when he gave Luffy a vaccine and bought him a Kinder Egg. As much as he complained, he and his son were very similar, he would also like to eat a chocolate with that coffee, at least it would taste better.

"It's not very good," Marco commented as if reading his mind, "but it's better than nothing. Especially when you have to be on call.”

He smiled at that comment and didn't complain. The bitter coffee woke him up and took away that feeling of lethargy that he carried. His eyes were heavy and burning, but at least he didn't cry anymore.

"It's alright," Ace replied. “You must be used to it by now.”

"A little bit, it's part of the job," he assured and they were silent again for a few moments while some people passed by and the typical noise of the clinic accompanied them. “Better?”

He wasn't sure how to answer that, because he felt awful, but at least that overwhelming feeling had lessened a bit. Very little, but it did. He nodded and drank more of his coffee.

“I had some problems.”

"Does it have to do with Spiderman?"

That made him smile and Marco seemed satisfied.

"Something like that." Ace shrugged, not wanting to bore him by explaining everything in detail. “With his father actually.”

Saying that created a much bigger void inside him. It still seemed weird to him when he mentioned Sabo as Luffy's father. That title had only belonged to Ace and now he thought it might have been better to never have shared it. He acted with good intentions, from the heart, and he couldn't believe he was getting this in return.

He never expected anything from Sabo when he told him about Luffy. He understood that it was a difficult situation, something that would change his life, but Ace wanted to be honest. If Sabo wanted to accept it and be part of Luffy's life that was fine, and if he didn't want to it was fine too. He didn't need him to take care of his son. At no point did he think of forcing him to accept him or anything like that. He just wanted to be honest, because it was something that tormented him. How could his good intentions turn into this monster that threatened to crush his and tear his baby from his arms?

He wouldn't let anyone take him from him.

"It's logical that you feel bad," Marco replied. “Still, don't lose sight of what's important. Now you may see everything dark, but things will pass. Meanwhile, I'm sure Spiderman doesn't want to see you cry.”

He almost laughed at that. He didn't like when Luffy had to see him suffer, he always noticed his feelings very quickly. If he was honest, he had to admit that Marco was right. The important thing was Luffy and protecting him, but at that moment he felt full of uncertainty.

"I know, I just… I think it scares me that everything will go wrong and I’ll lose him." He looked at his half-finished coffee in his hands and sighed. Why did Marco care about all that? He didn't even know why he was telling him.

“You are a good father, that can be seen whenever you are with him and I am sure that you’ll keep being it no matter what.”

Would it really be like that? He suffered so much to have that baby that he could no longer imagine himself without him. He also didn't know if he was a good father, he did what he could, but it felt good to hear those words.

"Thank you," he murmured, turning to see him with a smile. “I shouldn't worry, I have the _friendly neighbor_ who takes care of me.”

As much as his voice sounded muffled when he made that joke, he still found it funny and Marco too. Luffy liked to play Spiderman and that's why he actually met that doctor.

He felt a hand touching his hair and blinked in surprise seeing how Marco ran some of the black strands that fell on his face, clearing it. It was a gentle gesture, almost given with affection, and it made him feel a little sorry.

"I'm sure he'll like to see you like this more, smiling," he said causing Ace to look away.

Nothing had really happened. Even so, it was enough to get him to relax or at least get him down from that cloud of madness in which he was riding. He thanked Marco for those moments and thought that he was a strange person, with whom he spoke from time to time, who didn’t have to be nice to him. Still, he took a few moments to give him a few words of encouragement even though he didn't know what was going on. It was nice to feel a little support and it helped him relax.

Ace said goodbye to him, because Marco had to go back to work and he went to see Ivan after discarding the plastic cup in the trash. He looked at the strands of hair that fell on his forehead and sighed thinking how ridiculous it was to be happy to receive caresses and words of encouragement. Ace couldn't tell if he wasn't very demanding, if his feelings were too volatile or if inside he was still as simple as a child. He didn't stop feeling bad, but at least he managed to control the anguish he carried and it overflowed when he heard Sabo's voice.

When he arrived at Ivan's office, he had indeed seen his last patient of the day and was able to go in to see him. At first, he greeted him with a smile but instantly realized that something was wrong. Ace told him and watched his doctor's gaze change as he listened. He squeezed the fabric of his pants to stay conscious and not get carried away by the sadness, anger and helplessness he felt at that moment.

"Ace, I can't believe it," Ivan spoke in a whisper at the shock. “What else did Tsuru tell you, boy? There must be something we can do!”

The way Ivan got involved made him feel good. He knew how much he loved Luffy and that he would do what was necessary for his boy. Still, he didn't have much information to give him.

"She said she'd look into it and let me know," he replied. “I don't understand how this happened… I mean, everything was fine, why would Sabo sue me like this?”

"Are you sure it's him?"

"It seems so." Ace couldn't quite believe it, but Tsuru assured him. “When I was entering here he called me and it seemed all normal... I don't understand.”

His head was very confused. On the one hand he sent him a subpoena, but on the other he spoke to him as if nothing had happened. Ace didn't understand if he was being cynical or if there was actually a mistake. He ran a hand across his forehead not knowing how to contain the headache that had begun to bother him.

"Maybe there's something else." Ivan placed a hand on his chin as he thought. “Why don't you try talking to him again? You might even meet...

"I don't know," he snapped wearily. “I think I'm going to kill him if I see him… I don't even want to go to that damn court appointment.”

Ace didn't even want to think about that moment coming. He would have to face Sabo to fight for Luffy and he couldn't. He would end up killing him if necessary and he didn't want to go to such extreme lengths, but he would do it for Luffy.

"You must go, Ace," Ivan said decisively. “We will all accompany you, but you must attend. I understand that you are young and you should not be going through this, but there you will know the truth.”

It might be so, but it scared him. If that day Sabo showed up to fight him, then Ace would feel like a fool for believing that everything was fine.

"How did I not see this coming?" He said lamenting as he crossed his arms on Ivan's desk and laid his head there like a pillow.

He couldn't stay that long or waste his time. Ivan didn't have to stay with him. His work had already finished, surely he would have other things to do or go home to rest; but still he was still there giving him attention and comforting him. He felt caresses on his hair. They were soft and kind, but very different from the ones Marco gave him just moments ago. Ivan's touch was maternal while the one from the other doctor felt _different_.

"You couldn't have known," he answered in a calm voice. “Especially with how _excited_ you were to see him again.”

Ace squeezed his eyes as if he could keep ignoring the reality that Ivan put into words. He was right, he acted like an idiot and was carried away by everything that meeting Sabo again caused him. He didn't want to admit it out loud, but he was right. He would never have suspected that something was happening. He was a fool who got distracted by cat memes! How was he supposed to suspect that? Everything was a mess.

When he returned home, he hugged Luffy and didn't want to let go of him for a long time. He even told him to go sleep with him that night. How pathetic, as if his child was going to faint from sleeping in his room. Still, he wanted to feel him a little more. Its warmth gave him peace.

Rosi and Sengoku already knew the news; Garp took care of telling them. Tsuru reached out to give them the information she got. Apparently it was necessary to go to the appointment. She also told them who the representative attorney was and confirmed that the complaint was in Sabo's name. Which left him destroyed.

By bedtime he was exhausted, but Ace didn't know if he would get to sleep.

"Today we saw Mulan with Torao," Luffy told him lying in bed after putting on his pajamas and brushing his teeth. “I really like songs and they do martial arts! It's just like when I see you and Uncle Jinbe.”

Ace laughed as he covered Luffy up to keep him warm. That night was cold or maybe it was he who could not stop feeling the icy atmosphere.

"Maybe you could practice sometime," he mentioned, and his son's eyes shone like stars.

“Really?” He asked excitedly and Ace nodded smiling.

"Uncle Jinbe told me, but only when you're a little older."

Luffy seemed very pleased with that information and leaned closer to hug him.

"Are you tired, Dad?" The boy asked, looking at him carefully. “We can sleep if you want.”

"I'm fine," he assured, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “I just wanted you to stay here, don't you like it?”

"Yes, I love sleeping with Dad! Also with Torao, but not with the grandparents because they snore a lot.”

Ace laughed at his words and decided to turn off the lights. Luffy fell asleep as soon as he touched the pillow but Ace stayed awake for a while longer as he thought.

He had to go to that appointment with the lawyer. If he didn’t attend, it would be a problem and perhaps it would hurt him more in that situation. He didn't know where he was getting himself, but he wouldn't let anyone walk over him to take his son. Be it Sabo or anyone else. To have Luffy, Ace lived through horrible things and even his identity was broken by the complications that having a baby created, but he recovered —and still was recovering— as he could. He no longer felt weak or lost like four years ago.

He enjoyed sleeping hugging that little boy and didn’t doubt that he would continue to do so for much longer. He was his son and he loved him. No one could take it from him.

Maybe he should explain to Luffy that he wouldn't see Sabo anymore, at least not until this was resolved. Garp was probably right when he told him that he should have done the paperwork soon, but Ace was confident and was carried away by his silly feelings. Still, he wasn't going to tell Luffy anything yet. At least he wouldn't talk to the kid until he knew exactly what was going on.

The days passed and the appointment arrived. He went to court accompanied by Tsuru. He even dressed up and arranged his hair for the moment. He would have to face Sabo and get these matters over with. Maybe they could talk, fix the problems, and solve everything in an optimal way so they wouldn't have to go to trial. Ace felt comfortable thinking about that. He was always able to have a good dialogue with Sabo, why would it be different now? Anyway, he felt confused and nervous by that demand. Was it necessary to go to those extremes? Why didn't he tell him what was bothering him before? Could he fix it another way?

He was very confident in his words until he found himself in the room where the initial mediation was to take place. Their representing attorneys and them.

His heart pounded, wanting to break his chest as the door opened with extreme slowness and they finally entered.

The lawyer was there and so was the plaintiff, but it wasn't Sabo.

Ace's blood ran cold and he nearly gasped when he saw him sitting there. He wanted to kill him, as he wanted to do when he was a child, but in that moment his anger screamed from the bottom of his being like a monster hungry for revenge. Despite experiencing those bubbly feelings, Ace could not express them because of the shock of seeing him there with his elegant blue clothes and the bourgeois mustache that he wanted to rip out of him.

"So you finally decided to show yourself," said Mr. Outlook, Sabo's father. “Did you think it would be so easy for you to hide my grandson? What a shame.”

Tsuru's hand closed on her wrist, because the woman probably felt how Ace wanted to jump on him at that moment and tear his face.

There was not Sabo, but the one who separated them when they were children and now tried to take him away from his son as if he had the power to manage the whole world at will.

He would kill him before that appointment could take place and they would have to put him in jail. Although, if he did that, at least Luffy would still be fine. Could he live in jail without seeing him grow up? He was about to find out.


	31. Chapter 31

He did not know how he managed to sit in that chair and stay there for the entirety of that hour. He wasn't sure how he didn't jump on top of anyone like a wild animal, either, but he miraculously managed to contain himself. He was in a dangerous situation. If he was reckless, he could get in trouble and lose his footing in that damn cause. But that guy couldn't be there demanding anything from him! Much less call Luffy his grandson. His son's only grandparents were Garp and Sengoku.

How could he be there? Did Sabo really know about this? The plaintiff's attorney, Rob Lucci, had a cold and distant look. Ace looked at him carefully, he looked like a robot every time he spoke or some kind of wizard with that top hat. What kind of lawyer could that be? He looked more like the villain from the tales the teachers read to Luffy in kindergarten.

He opened his eyes in shock when that man claimed to have a written permission from Sabo where they claimed to have authorization to take action, even though he was not there.

They wanted to destroy him or so Ace felt. They accused him of having ‘hidden a son’ for more than four years and sue him for moral damages? It seemed so ridiculous to him that he was barely able to retain it in his memory. The worst was when they exposed that he was not in ‘the best conditions’ to raise a child. They demanded a psychological examination and also a DNA test to prove paternity, not to mention the custody of the child and compensation.

Tsuru was a good lawyer. She knew this was absurd, but the judge handling her case was apparently not an easy person. Ace had the feeling that this would be too difficult to deal with and was scared. What if his son was seriously taken away from him? How was he supposed to face this monster full of money? Because that's how the world worked, right? With money and power, you could win everything.

When they left the courthouse, Ace approached that man no matter how much Tsuru told him not to.

"What are you looking for?" Ace snapped angrily looking at him with fire in his eyes. Mr. Outlook turned, looking at him as if he were some rat out of a pit, although that was how he always looked at him. “You already took me away from Sabo once, now you want to take my son from me?!”

"You should have considered it before sleeping with my son," he said haughtily. “Although I still wonder how you could give birth, but you won’t be able to get anything from Sabo even with a bastard.”

So that's what it was all about? Money? They were putting him through this just because they thought he wanted money from Sabo?!

"He doesn't know about this," Ace said confidently, but the doubt remained in the back of his mind.

"Ha, don't be naive, do you think he would have authorized us to sue you if he didn't know? You better go enjoy the time you have left before we win the trial.”

He could not contain himself.

He jumped on top of the man, but didn't get to him. Rosinante appeared to stop him before he did something crazy that would further ruin his situation. Rosinante had to go look for him in court when everything was over and at the precise moment he grabbed him by the arms when he wanted to attack that man who ruined his life once and Ace wanted to take out a little of the anger he caused him.

It took him a lot to contain himself during that whole hour, but he couldn't handle those words and the arrogance with which he addressed him, as if he were superior. He couldn't allow his son to end up in the hands of that malicious family.

"Let go of me, Rosi!" He snapped angrily and struggled to free himself, but Rosinante was much bigger and he didn't let go of him no matter how much he kicked.

"Stop it, Ace! You'll only make things worse!” He yelled to calm him down and make him understand that he couldn't act impulsively. “They won't take Luffy, we won't let them, but you can't lose your mind now. That's exactly what they want!”

He opened his eyes in shock. Sure, that's why he provoked him in front of so many people. The son of a bitch was looking for Ace to assault him. That is why not even his lawyer intervened to defend him.

Ace stopped fighting and Rosi released him. He glared at that man and turned to leave. When he was a child, he didn't have the strength to fight, but now he couldn't use violence. He was no longer a child that the only thing he had to lose was, at best, his life. Now Luffy was in danger and he couldn't afford to lose his mind, because that could mean having his son taken from him. If they accused him of violence, they could even say he was abusing his child or worse. No, he couldn't, Rosi was right, but his fists shook with helplessness.

He sped away so he could get in the car and scream while clutching his hair in frustration. This was a disaster! He couldn't even take pleasure in hitting that jerk the way he would like. The real world sucked and Ace was tired of checking it out.

Rosinante came in after talking to Tsuru. The woman assured him that this case made no sense nor clear grounds, the problem was Judge Morgan and that lawyer Rob Lucci. She knew that they were not honest people, so they would make the case more difficult, but Ace would win. He trusted her, but that didn't take away from the bitter taste he had at the time.

The question of whether Sabo knew about everything spun in his mind. If he didn’t, how did they get his authorization? Nothing was clear and he just had more questions that couldn't be answered with the information he had. He wasn't ready to face Sabo yet.

He felt Rosi's hand cling to his shoulder causing him to look at him.

"I'm sorry," the man said and Ace sensed the anguish he had. “I know how you feel, you have no idea how much I understand you, but… It's for the best, Ace.”

He closed his eyes for a moment to breathe and put his hand on top of Rosi's, which was still on his shoulder.

"I know," he sighed. “I wanted to hit him, but ... thanks for not letting me.”

He smiled, as difficult as it was. It was the best at that moment and he decided to put his strength into getting through this no matter what it takes. Luffy would never end up with those people.

When they returned home, the stress fell on his head like stone and he took a hot shower that made him forget that pain a bit. He wanted to wake up from that dream once and for all.

He didn't even get dressed. He just put on his bathrobe and threw himself on the bed. He felt so tired at that moment that he fell asleep without noticing it. The pillow got wet with his damp hair and he only woke up when his son entered the room. Luffy had come back from school and he was jumping on him like a happy puppy, he almost needed a tail to wag it.

“Dad! I'm already here!” Said the boy, happy to see him and Ace greeted him too, although he was a bit stunned from his recent nap.

“Yes? How late is it?” He mumbled, getting up with a raspy voice and covered his body more with his robe, he felt cold. “How are you Luffy? You had a good day?”

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun, we played pirates with Usopp and Rebecca," he explained. “Usopp wanted to be the captain and Rebecca wanted to be the captain too, but I won with rock, paper and scissors! I'm the captain, dad!”

"Very good, Luffy." He patted his boy's head with a smile. “Well done.”

He got up to find some clothes to dress. He was cold, a strange thing for him. He always kept warm well, but his body temperature had dropped along with his spirits.

He heard Luffy say something about lunch and thought he would leave while he was getting dressed, but he didn't. Ace searched for the clothes and Luffy watched him from the bed.

"Dad, I haven't seen Sabo in a long time," Luffy said suddenly. “Why doesn’t he come? Can't we invite him? I miss him.”

That was to be expected. Ace bit his lip and didn't answer at first. He approached Luffy and dropped in front of him. How was he going to explain? He couldn’t do it. He was very young, he was not going to tell him the details, but he could not lie and assure that nothing was happening. He bit his lip as he thought and his son's eyes looked at him with expectant curiosity.

"Sabo is… You can't see each other for now," he mentioned but felt it wasn't enough. He could see the confusion in Luffy's eyes. “He has… things to figure out, and he can't come see you right now, Luffy.”

“No?” He cocked his head in some disappointment. “And when will he come?”

“I don’t know.”

"Can't I go?"

“No.”

“Why not?”

"Just cause, Luffy!"

He didn't realize he raised his voice until he did, but the situation made him desperate. It wasn't Luffy's fault. The boy looked at him worried, as if he had just done something wrong, and Ace was instantly sorry for his outburst.

"I'm sorry, it's okay, it's okay." He spoke much softer and got up to hug him.

He was silent for a few moments while he stroked her son's hair. What else could he tell him? ‘Sabo's family is suing me to take you away and they are like a dictatorship’, it was not an option. He took a deep breath and felt that Luffy was pensive, crestfallen, a strange thing for him.

"Sabo is mad at me?" He asked suddenly, pouting. “Is it because I ate all the chocolate the last time we met? I said I was going to give him, but I forgot…” 

He looked at his son in surprise and could only hug him more.

"Of course not, Luffy," he assured, caressing his face and smiling at him. “He is now… with some problems and cannot come.”

“You fought?” Luffy asked unexpectedly and Ace winced at the sound of it. “Sabo is not bad, dad. Forgive him, he's good.”

His lips twisted into a weary grin. He didn't have an answer to give him. He also thought Sabo was a good person, but lately… he didn't know what to believe anymore.

He hugged his baby and gave him a kiss on the face. Luffy seemed concerned for him, so he hung his small arms around Ace's neck and gave him several kisses on the cheek. He always believed that he could solve everything with kisses and hugs, although he was very close to achieving it. Ace felt very happy as he held him tight.

"Don't worry," Ace told him and stroked his hair. “Why better not go to eat?”

Luffy's face shone like a sun and he stood up happily insisting that they go. Ace sent him to the dining room and told him he would come right away. The grandparents or Rosi could entertain him while he was miserable for a couple more minutes. He ran his hands through his tousled hair and sighed.

This was getting harder and harder and Ace had no idea how he could cope with what was to come.

Few days passed where his life became more stressful, mostly because of himself. The nerves didn’t let him be calm. He was on the phone all the time for news. He even flinched every time the door was knocked or the bell rang. In his mind, it would be someone to bring him another cursed document or people who would want to take his son, although Tsuru explained that that would not happen and that legal issues were not handled that way. Anyway, he couldn't relax.

How was he supposed to keep living his life with something like that? He couldn’t do it. It was very difficult for him to focus on college and continue doing the things he liked like training with Jinbe.

Even so, Rosi and the old men supported him. If he could get through all of that without breaking down, it was because of them. Rosinante insisted that he should continue with his life, that he could not live all the time pending this matter because he would go crazy. He knew he was right and tried to listen to him. He couldn’t neglect everything he achieved in those years, that was what Sabo's damn family wanted, to destroy him and take his son from him. He wasn't going to allow any of that.

He forced himself to study and it cost him a lot. He even fell asleep more than once on his books, but managed to catch up, with a lot of work and help.

He buried his head once more in his notebook, fed up with having to study. He had no strength. That day was Friday, but Ace wasn't grateful for it. He had gone to the training with Jinbe early and then decided to try and catch up on his courses, but he became sleepy and ended up falling asleep. Luffy's shouts no longer woke him up, unless it was something serious. Somehow, his unconscious brain managed to seize that information and he ended up waking up when something happened to his son.

This time he woke up alone and rubbed his eyes while yawning. Again he filled all his sheets with saliva but luckily they still worked and they were only drafts and notes that didn’t matter if they were damaged. He wiped himself while blinking and trying to remember what he was doing, but his brain seemed to remain disconnected. He did not even notice that someone entered his room.

Rosinante came over and put steaming tea on the desk. He narrowed his eyes at him and heard the other man laugh.

"Have you been trying too hard?" Rosi asked, looking at all the notebooks.

"I think… I forgot what unit I was doing," he said, not understanding what was happening in front of his eyes. He even had marks on his face from sleeping on the books and his hair matted. “And Luffy?”

"He's napping with Law."

“He? Sleeping?” He asked, impressed. He hardly ever took naps.

"Apparently he was tired and he's not the only one."

He showed him that he took some pictures of the children and Ace smiled when he saw Luffy taking up the entire bed while Law huddled in a corner. It was always like this. Ace was used to it by now, but it surprised him that Law had so much patience with Luffy. Since he was a child, he took great care of him, as an older brother would do and that was cute to see. His son was very close to  _ his Torao _ , as he liked to call him, and wanted to be attached to his rib all the time.

Ace took his cell phone when he heard it vibrate. He didn't use it much lately. Every time he felt someone calling him unpleasant feelings ran through his body. He also blocked Sabo's number, because he really didn’t want to talk to him or know anything that had to do with him. He wasn't ready yet to face him and know what he had to say to him. Ace wanted to hear it was a lie, but he wasn't sure he could stand Sabo telling him that it was all true. He still did not gather enough strength to overcome those fears and face them with all that they meant. He was cowardly and sentimental, but he seriously felt that his sanity couldn't handle that situation properly.

Bon-chan also recommended that he stay away until he felt ready. The nerves and anxiety Ace handled could be damaging. He shouldn't force himself, he had told him that a long time ago. He had to do everything at his own pace and was not yet ready to talk to him.

He saw a message from Haruta and wondered what it was. It was a voice message, maybe something about university. He played it while Rosi was still there with him.

_ "Hi Ace, how are you? We're going out with the boys tonight, we're going to a party, do you want to come? Let me know, so we'll pick you up. " _

He looked at his cell phone with an arched brow. He had formed a pleasant relationship with them, but never thought they would ask him to go out. That's what friends did, right? Were they friends? Maybe.

“Will you go?” Rosinante asked and Ace almost forgot he was there.

"I don't think so," Ace answered, putting his cell phone aside. “I can't go… Besides, I never went to parties, I don't know what they are like.”

"Come on, Ace!" He encouraged him. “You're twenty years old, those are supposed to be the things you should do.”

"I'm also not supposed to have a four-year-old, but I do."

"That has nothing to do with it," Rosi sighed as he sat down on Ace's bed. “Cheer up, you need to distract yourself a bit. Luffy will be here with us and he's not going anywhere.”

He pursed his lips, growling at his insistence, but he thought about it. He had seriously never been to a party. The closest thing to going out was when they were going somewhere with their family or hanging out with Smoker, but he never went  _ dancing _ with friends or anything like that. He imagined that maybe it would be like in a teenage drama, but Ace already felt old for it. He was also having a hard time, he couldn't go to a party, right?

Still, he also thought about what Rosinante told him and how bad it would be if he agreed to go. Luffy would be fine. He could always come back if something didn't go well or if he didn't like it.

He sighed, taking the cell phone again.

He could try.

It took several hours before he left. He dressed quite normal, because he didn't have much idea how he should go either. He remembered wearing that black jean when he met Smoker, but he hoped this party wasn't as boring as it was that time. He was able to put Luffy to bed before he left and ponder whether or not he should leave, if he could, but they had already gone looking for him.

He ran into Haruta, Izo, and Thatch. Everyone told him they were happy that he accepted and Ace was excited about it. He had never been to one of those things and was a bit intrigued. He always imagined it as in the dramas or movies, but he could not guarantee that everything would be perceived that way.

They came to a place that he found interesting and intriguing. It seemed like one of those huge places where a heavy rock band would play, with black floors and graffiti painted walls. The music stunned him and the low lights, of all colors, made him dizzy. It was unexpectedly eye-catching and he didn't hesitate to enter. 

There were tables and people dancing on a dance floor where the lights flickered madly in the darkness, letting the bodies gleam moving along to the strident music. The bar was surrounded by people buying drinks and the employees didn’t have enough hands to serve so many people. It seemed like a busy place.

Ace drank sometimes, but never that kind of drink. His friends bought beer and he liked that. He had a few and then surprised himself with some colorful shots. They tasted delicious with their fluorescent colors and sweet flavors, but he remembered that they had alcohol when they passed his throat.

"Thatch always finds an acquaintance," Haruta commented, seeing his friend, who had got up and greeted several people who were on the dance floor. Izo rolled his eyes and sighed.

"It wouldn't be a normal night if it didn't happen."

He didn't pay much attention to what they meant. Ace looked from his position at the group of people who were watching. He barely made out faces in the play of light and bodies moving through the heat and sweat. He blinked when he noticed someone looking at him, a girl, but maybe he was imagining it.

"She's cute," Izo commented, making him wince and his smile became suspicious. “I think her name is Isuka, Thatch knows her, do you want us to come closer?”

He opened his mouth to say something but nothing left his lips. What could he say? If he had no idea why he was saying that. He could barely make out the girl in the low light of the place, so he didn't know if she actually looked pretty.

"Didn't you have a boyfriend, Ace?" Haruta asked, confused.

"No…" he answered with some doubt. Was Smoker his boyfriend? He still didn't feel like they had reached that level.

"Weren't you dating that blond dude?"

"That's the ex," Izo recalled. “Besides, there is nothing wrong with it. Or are you gay? Bi?

He didn’t answer that question, because he had no answer. He did fall in love with a man and he knew he liked them, so he should be gay, but… He didn't know how he felt about women. He was never close to such a  _ situation _ to affirm it.

The construction of sexuality was something that was continually mutating in many people, at least that was what he had been told. There was nothing wrong with needing a tag to identify yourself, and neither if you didn't want to use them.

"Have you seen that guy?" Haruta said, pointing to a somewhat distant part of them.

He narrowed his eyes seeing where there were people dancing but someone stood out. Those swan-like movements caught his eye and he blinked in shock when, despite the varied lights and dark environment, he recognized who it was.

"I think he's my therapist," Ace muttered impressively.

“Seriously?” Izo asked just as surprised and Haruta laughed.

"He's a genius!"

He knew that Bon Clay danced very well, but he never imagined finding him outside of his therapy space. He was aware that he had a personal life, but seeing it in the first person was shocking. Still, it was amazing to see him enjoy and jump with his swan movements. Apparently he was very popular there.

At some point, Bon-chan came closer and their gazes met. Instead of grief, there was much joy in recognizing each other.

"Ace-chan~!" His therapist said cheerfully. “Good thing you got out! It's a surprise.”

"Yes, well… I was invited," he replied, introducing his friends.

"Don't forget our appointment this week," he reminded him and put a hand on Ace's shoulder. “Anything you need to talk about, let me know, but starting tomorrow, I have to dance today~!”

Ace laughed and assured that he wouldn't. Things were still the same with his problems, but seeing him there was fun and lifted his spirits quite a bit. Bon-chan encouraged him to dance and have a good time. Maybe he was right, he could enjoy that night and be distracted.

Thatch returned along with some of his acquaintances and among them was that Isuka girl. Ace confirmed that yes, she was pretty. She had a soft smile and a look that was mesmerizing, though perhaps it was the effect of the alcohol on his blood. 

He danced, laughed and enjoyed himself. Much more than he had imagined.

That place was ‘open mind’ or LGBT friendly, that's what the boys said. Which was good, it was his environment, right? 

As the night wore on, he felt uninhibited enough to speak and laugh alongside Isuka. He found her beautiful in those moments and danced very well. Her short, light hair shone with many colors from the neon lights and he could hear her cute laugh despite the loud music.

At some point she took his hand and approached him.

"Come with me?" She mentioned, tugging at him.

By that time, Ace forgot where his friends were and didn't mind finding out.

She led him to a solitary, closed bathroom where the music couldn't reach them. The door was locked and he knew what was coming next. Did he ever think it was for something else that she asked him to leave? Of course not. He was drunk, but he wasn't an idiot. He got carried away, because he wasn't really thinking things through very well.

Isuka's lips were soft, like any pair of lips, and hungry with a taste of alcohol like his.

Did he ever think what it would be like to kiss a girl? He had barely kissed two people in his life. Ace went through complex situations that barely gave him time to wonder about his sexuality. He liked Sabo. He also liked Smoker. And this girl? She was cute and kissed very well. His skin felt warm and he hugged her.

He never considered what kind of sexuality he had, because it was not something important to him. Although this would be the first contact with something... straight? Yeah, that. So he was bisexual? He wasn't really sure.

He only realized that that girl's hands were different from the ones that touched him before. She seemed to know where to go and what to do with her body. Ace, by some strange and alcoholic magic, knew it too.

He bit his lips and kissed desperately as they opened their clothes, locked in that bathroom stall. He never would have guessed how badly he needed this. Break free and let go of that tension that was destroying his body.

He thought of all the times he despised himself for being born that way. He looked at the body in his hands, touched it and enjoyed it. He saw her enjoying herself and gasped with pleasure when he felt like he couldn't take it anymore. That woman was definitely beautiful and Ace had already understood that he could live and enjoy the body he had, even if his crotch was not what a  _ hegemonic man _ should have.

Someway he didn't remember he ended up going home. The sun was about to rise and Ace entered with great difficulty. He felt awful, his stomach was queasy and he ended up vomiting in the bathroom for a long time. What the fuck, that hadn't happened to him since he had Luffy, but he'd rather spend that discomfort due to a drunkenness than a baby inside his body. It was fun. He had a great time, even though his head was now in the toilet.

He didn’t fall asleep there on the floor, thankfully. He managed to store up enough consciousness to crawl into bed, ditch some clothing, and sleep. He urgently needed to sleep through the weekend. He didn’t dream of anything to torment him.

The next morning, shouts woke him up. Shouts from the old men, from Rosi, from the children. And his headache made him think his brain was going to explode.

“What?” He mentioned in a dead man's voice. “What's going on?”

"You have to wake up, Ace!" Rosinante said too cheerfully and went to open the curtains.

Ace hid under the covers like a vampire, but the scandal was impossible to ignore.

"Get up, brat," Garp snapped. “Tsuru wants to talk to you.”

Hearing that, Ace rose like a zombie from his grave and looked up in fear that he had misheard.

“Really?”

"She's on the phone," Segoku said, turning on the speaker for everyone to hear.

Ace gulped.

"I have news, Ace."

His heart stopped when he heard her words. It was too early and he hadn't fully awakened yet. When she spoke to him, Ace felt like he might pass out in that instant.


	32. Chapter 32

After transcribing his interview an hour ago, Sabo decided to stretch while yawning. It was late, he was supposed to deliver that news story the same day. It was only a few more minutes but he was tired. It took too long to transcribe because he made several mistakes, but that was because his mind was traveling everywhere. As much as he had to work, he wasn't sure he could go on.

He kept thinking about Ace, about Luffy and what had happened.

He had spoken to Ace very recently and Ace cut off the call.

_ "You won't see Luffy until you remove that demand." _

Demand? What did he mean by that?

He drank water from a bottle on his desk and took off his glasses for a moment. For a long time, he had to wear glasses to be in front of screens and not spoil his eyes anymore. Sabo was a journalist, or would be when he graduated, so he used the computer and the phone a lot.

He leaned back in his chair as he looked at the ceiling and thought.

Something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what.

Ace didn't answer the phone anymore. He blocked it and Sabo kept wondering why.

He thought about going to his home to see him, but that didn't go very well the last time he did. But Luffy was his son, why couldn't he see him now?

It was strange to mention that boy as his son. He was still getting used to it. Would he ever? Sabo assumed he would, but now he had found an unexpected bump in the road. It wasn't just a bump. Remembering Ace's words made him think he was falling into an endless black hole. How exaggerated. He couldn't leave it like that, he had to figure it out. The problem was doing it without making things worse. This would be difficult.

Things were never really simple for him. Even his relationship with Ace was complex and made marks on his being that he could never erase. So intense was what they experienced that they had even conceived a child, although that was due to the lack of education and contraceptive methods that at that time they didn’t have.

It was fun to think about that time, though. Sabo's memories were blurry, due to the accident, but he had many of his memories.

After waking up in the hospital, he was very dazed and lost-minded. His body had been badly injured and the months in a coma left him so weak that he looked like he was about to break like a dry leaf. A lot of rehabilitation was necessary before returning to normal life. Fortunately, it healed quickly.

Some of his memories were lost by the blow, but gradually they gained intensity as his health improved. In his mind he had Ace's face, his voice, his smile; He soon realized that he was even printed on his skin. It gave him chills just thinking about him, the intense feelings they shared. He smiled remembering those moments.

Sabo didn’t forget what his parents did to him. They separated him from the love of his childhood, and probably the love of his life. Ace was beaten and humiliated because of him. He couldn’t defend him or do anything.

He still remembered with pain how his father threatened him that day saying that if he did something to help him, he wouldn’t let it go. Fear shook him when he saw weapons gleaming in the hands of his father's henchmen. Would he go so far as to kill a child just to make him do what he wanted, even if it cost him to make his son unhappy? Sabo, back then, didn’t want to find out the answer to that question.

Seeing Ace again left him in shock. At first he didn't believe it was him, but when they looked closely at each other he knew it, he felt it. He never thought he would find him, that Koala would meet him. He still remembered that day they arrived. Sabo felt lost and detached thinking about Ace all the time. He even remembered Koala saying ‘If you had Instagram, you would have seen him. I have a photo with him’ and she sent him a capture. Sabo still had it.

He looked the same, although with several differences that he didn’t fully appreciate the first time they met. He spent some time looking at the photo Koala sent him without believing it was Ace. He looked older, grown up. Still, his hair, his face, his freckles; he was how Sabo remembered him.

He spent several days unable to get it out of his mind and ignored all the questions his friend asked him. Sabo continued studying and working but Ace was always on his mind. He couldn't get out of his amazement at having seen him after those years.

After recovering from the accident, he went to see Ace at Dadan's house, but he was not there. She told him that he went with Garp and she didn't want to tell him anything else, or maybe she didn't know. He lost any way to contact him and at first he didn’t accept it. Would he never see Ace again? It was a nightmare.

Still, Sabo tried to continue. He had to stay with his parents until he finished high school and left as soon as he did. He demanded emancipation, despite being young. He didn’t care. He just couldn't live with them. He took his things and left. He applied to a university where he met Koala. Sabo barely had money at the time and it was difficult, almost impossible, to survive.

He looked for work, although there were not many things he knew how to do, but he learned.

When he advanced in his communication career, he got a job at a major magazine. Something he was really good at. He always liked to write. However, it was not the same to write a novel as writing the news, but he discovered a great passion in doing so.

Ever since he saw Ace again, concentrating to write anything had been difficult for him.

It shocked him to the core. Even more so when he discovered that Luffy, who until that moment was the child that Koala looked after, was his son.

At first, when Ace had not yet told him the truth, the information about that person he loved so much had had a baby didn’t finish entering his skull and he wondered how it happened, more specifically when and with  _ whom _ . He thought that maybe it was his, if Luffy was his son, he was over four years old, they should have  _ done it _ before they separated or... Sabo, at that moment, didn’t dare to see reality. He suspected it, but thought maybe he was wrong. How naive he was.

Still, he liked being with Luffy. He panicked when he found out he had a four-year-old boy. His mind exploded without fully understanding it and several doubts arose in his mind, especially if he was able to accept that responsibility. Despite the fear and uncertainty, Sabo wanted to meet his son, the boy he made with Ace.

He knew the problem would not be his relationship with Luffy, but his relationship with Ace. The excitement of seeing him again clouded his reason and he despaired for him. His childhood memories bubbled up in his chest when they met and he longed to see, touch, and  _ share _ as before. Then he relaxed, because it was necessary. The news of Luffy forced him to put his feet firmly on the ground and put aside all the things he felt, which he believed would always be buried in the past. He focused on the new issues surrounding his life and ignored everything about him and Ace.

Things went well, until he saw him with his  _ boyfriend _ . Was it that? He assumed so. Ace didn't say, but Sabo assumed it was. That cop Smoker looked like an older guy. At least older than him. Also, it was giant and looked serious. Or so he got that impression, but Luffy hugged him excitedly and also seemed to treat the boy well. He even hugged Ace in a loving way, or so he thought seeing.

It was good, right? Ace dated a person who treated him well and loved him, even someone who loved Luffy. He should be happy for him, but he couldn't. Sabo hated it. He hated seeing that man around Ace and his son. He also hated himself for having feelings like that.

Ace and he were nothing, as much as that reality hurt him. He felt very bad about fighting with him that time, but it was impossible to control his anger. How stupid could he be to be bothered by something like that.

Even so, they were able to share pleasant moments again, such as Luffy's school presentation and small talks that made him relive the  _ emotion  _ that Ace caused on him. He was still how he remembered him and that only made him want to talk to him more.

For that reason now he didn’t understand what happened or what he did wrong.

_ Demand…  _

“Sabo!"

The knock that his door opening made and Koala's scream almost caused him to fall to the floor in his chair, but he avoided it.

“What?”

"I'm doing laundry," she explained. “Do you have something black to wash?”

He went to the other chair where he threw his clothes to look. He took some T-shirts that didn't smell too good and also some pants. They always did laundry together, it was a daily part of their life, but Sabo used to forget to ask her if she had anything to put in the washing machine.

"Are you finished yet?" She asked, referring to his story.

He had been sitting there for several hours. It was almost eleven in the morning and he had been working on that story since nine, but he couldn't concentrate as he would have liked.

"It's been a bit difficult."

Koala nodded making a small affirming sound and Sabo felt that girl's analytical gaze. She always read him very carefully and could very well guess what was going on.

"You seem distracted," she commented. “Any problem with Ace or Luffy?”

He grunted wearily as he sat back in his chair. He didn't want to talk about it, but maybe it would help.

"I don't really know… Ace got mad at me, but he didn't explain why."

"Mmm, are you sure you two stopped being a thing?" She asked with a mischievous smile.

"I'm serious, Koala."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She apologized and tried to think about it. “Maybe something you did or said? I haven’t seen Ace or the children these days, I had several finals exams and I could not go to take care of them. Someday I want to graduate too.”

He couldn't blame her. Sabo also had to prepare a final on the history of the media, but he had no head that day to review his readings. He couldn't stop thinking about that matter.

He thought back to Ace's words, which Luffy wouldn't see until he removed the demand. What demand? Sabo didn't even understand it.

In that instant, an idea occurred to him.

"Koala," he called and his friend looked at him. “How likely is it that someone will file a lawsuit on your behalf without you knowing?”

She blinked with her head on one side, as if she didn't quite understand what Sabo had said.

"I think that would be a crime," she replied. “Why? Do you have legal problems?”

"I don't know… But I'll find out."

Koala looked puzzled again. Sabo settled into his desk and took his phone. He had calls to make and he couldn't waste time. The girl decided to leave him be. When Sabo had that concentration in his eyes, it was impossible to speak to him. She went to finish washing clothes and would prepare something for lunch.

For his part, Sabo found the number he wanted to dial. He was a little scared to talk to that person about something that might be very vain and he thought he would not answer him, but he did.

Karasu answered him on the other end of the phone. The calm voice of the man greeted him and also asked him what he needed. He was always a kind person, despite having a job as a national prosecutor. Sabo met him when he had to cover several important lawsuits and obtained many statements from him. He used to call him when he needed to know important details about various causes for his work. Karasu was considerate of him, he respected his work despite being young. His journalism work gave him contacts that Sabo didn’t believe he would use in this way. He hoped he wouldn't cause trouble, but he didn't know what else to do.

"I'm not working on any stories," he explained and considered whether or not to say it. He had already called, so there was no other choice. “I have a personal question and wanted to talk to you.”

He explained to the man if there was any way to know if he had a lawsuit started on his behalf, if there was a possibility of knowing how he could find out this and what to do if he did.

"Don't you have a lawyer?" Karasu asked.

"No, I haven't even been to consult one, yet… I have suspicions to believe that someone is using my name without me knowing it."

He heard Karasu sigh thoughtfully on the other end of the phone. He was a kind man, who spoke slowly and very quietly, but Sabo had all the patience to listen to him. Maybe that's why he had liked him.

"I'll talk to Betty and talk to you if I have any news."

Those words made him smile. He greatly appreciated that help and told him that he would look forward to his call. However, that didn’t leave him at ease.

If someone had started a lawsuit in his name against Ace, who could it be? It should be a person who hates him, because he didn’t have any other. Someone who wanted to mess him up and hurt Ace too. Sabo wasn’t a bad person, but he didn’t consider himself a saint, although he didn’t believe that he had such enemies. Also, it had to be someone who knew about Ace and Luffy. The only person close to him who knew he had a child was Koala and he would never mistrust her. She had no reason to do something like that.

His paternity was a very recent and unexpected event. Sabo hadn't had enough time to assimilate it, much less speak publicly of it with someone. He was still getting used to spending time with Luffy and having him get used to him. They were even trying to get along with Ace, why was everything suddenly ruined?

In this last time, his life had taken so many turns that Sabo was unable to finish assimilating them all. The last five years were really chaos. Being able to somehow get ahead and re-emerge from the yoke of his family was an almost impossible task. The only annoying thing was having to endure them from time to time trying to contact him.

Of course they were disappointed in the career he chose and also because he refused to marry a woman they chose for him. A beautiful girl by their standards of beauty, and, most importantly, with a wealthy family that would give him all the power he needed to function in the world, be a politician or something. He wasn’t interested in that. Sabo didn’t have the same political ideas as them, he always knew it but in college he was able to give shape to his ideas and express them with solid arguments.

He wouldn't let them get into his opinions or make decisions about his life. If he didn't say yes, they couldn't force him. Sabo was free as long as he was away from them. They had nothing to extort him.

At that moment, he remembered something important.

Stelly did know Luffy.

He saw him that day when he tried to talk to him outside his house. Nothing in particular had happened. He received no calls from his parents or his brother. They didn't try to contact him often, either, but that visit stayed in his mind as he sat at his desk in meditation. What if…?

He heard Koala yell telling him she was leaving. She was supposed to go to college and then to work, but Sabo didn't answer her. He remained silent as he heard the apartment door close. His brain went blank at the thought.

What if it had been them?

Why not? It made sense.

Perhaps what was happening is that his parents made that lawsuit against Ace. However, what reason would they have? Maybe blackmail him into doing what they always demanded of him. He didn’t think they were incapable. They had already done it once when they were just two children, but he would not allow it again.

Sabo clenched his hands reliving the helplessness he experienced at that moment in not being able to protect Ace as he would have liked. He still remembered how his father threatened to hurt Ace if he didn't cooperate and left him. It was horrible and he didn't want to go through that again. Furthermore, now it was not only Ace, but there was also Luffy.

Anger welled up from inside his body and he stood up dazed. He walked around his room trying to think. Would his parents be monstrous enough to threaten a four-year-old? To their own grandson? He couldn't deny it. Sabo was aware of how atrocious these people could be.

Despite feeling almost certain, he had no proof. How would he get them? He thought about talking to Stelly again, but it wasn't a good idea. He needed to be more cunning.

If this was really happening, he needed confirmation to know how to act. He took his phone and dialed a specific number. He took a deep breath to calm himself and focus on what he should say.

“Hello?” He said when they answered him. “Mom…"

“Sabo?” The woman's voice sounded confused. “What a surprise you are calling.”

"You always complain that I don't, I thought you wanted to talk to me."

"Do you have a sudden act of love for your family? How strange…”

He gritted his teeth trying to calm himself. His mother had a difficult personality, but he had to focus on his goal.

"I had some things I wanted to discuss with you," he spoke trying to sound conciliatory. “Are you alone?”

"That's right, neither Stelly nor your father are here. Why do you ask?”

"You see… The last time Stelly came we talked and I kept thinking about some things."

"I know," Didit snapped in annoyance. “He told us you have... a new problem.”

Sabo frowned at her. He supposed she was talking about Luffy and, as much as it bothered him, he didn't complain.

"Yes, that," he stated. “It's something… quite complex.”

"I already know, but don't worry, your father has already solved it with Lucci."

“Seriously?” Sabo's eyes widened in surprise. This was what he wanted to know. “I'm a bit worried about this, I really don't know what to do…. What did he do?”

He had to lie to get the information he wanted. Something that he gained since he was doing journalism work was the habit of writing down and recording everything. He also had a handheld tape recorder that he used only to record interviews and, in this case, the conversation he was having with his mother. He moved the phone closer so that the woman's voice could be heard clearly.

"Of course you don't know," the woman complained, annoyed and almost scolding him. “You should have told us as soon as that... that... whatever! You are very naive to let yourself be used like that, Sabo. Luckily your father was smarter and already took action. He sued that rat and they will not even want to get a penny from you.”

He almost gasped when he heard it. So it was true. They did all that trouble. He wanted to yell at that woman a lot of things, but he resisted because it was still not enough.

"Mom, do you mean my father sued Ace?" He said in surprise. “But how could he do it? He should have said something to me..."

“Oh, Sabo, do you see what I'm saying? You're too stupid, son. That little rat just wanted to get money from you, our money, why do you think he showed up with a son now? The little cockroaches that were born in poverty have no other way to survive than by trying to rob us, good people.”

He was going to get sick if he kept hearing these things. During his childhood, it was normal to hear his parents say these kinds of classist and horrible things. When he was little, Sabo didn’t understand but the way they spoke seemed strange to him. Now that he was older, he was disgusted to hear them.

Of course, the real motive that prompted them to make that demand was money. They were afraid that Ace would prove that their son was legitimately from Sabo and try to get money from them, so they went ahead. It must have been some move suggested by Rob Lucci, a ruthless and treacherous man.

"So don't worry, everything is  _ settled, _ " Didit continued. “Your father started the lawsuit for you, although we may have to take care of the brat if it is really your son… Well, we'll figure it out.”

Sabo shivered at those last words. He wouldn't let them lay a hand on his son.

"It's a surprise, mother. The truth is that I don't understand much about the law, you know…” Sabo commented, "but... if it's a lawsuit for a supposed son of mine, shouldn't I have started it?”

"There was no time to convince you, you're very stubborn and don't listen to reasons, Sabo," the woman explained. “Lucci arranged to file the lawsuit on your behalf. Apparently only you could do it because you're the father or something. Perhaps DNA says otherwise, it would be a blessing.”

He didn't need any analysis to know that Luffy was his son.

He swallowed hard when he felt that she had said just what he wanted to hear.

"So they used my signature without my consent?"

"Oh, it's not that bad," she minimized. “You know how your father is. Lucci did the paperwork and they got a fairly easy judge to fix. You don't have to fear, this will be resolved sooner than you think.”

"I suppose so, mother." Sabo smiled at that moment, but not for the reasons Didit surely expected. “Then I will wait for any news and I am available for whatever you want to tell me.”

"It will be much more useful if you want to contribute. Your father will be thrilled when he sees that you have reconsidered.”

"Oh yeah, surely…"

Sabo dropped the call shortly after and began to analyze the recording. It sounded perfect. He went through all the lines his mother said and wondered if he could use it as evidence for something, although he didn't know exactly how. He just wished he could remove the problem Ace had on him, even though he didn't know the exact details yet.

He thought about calling him at that moment to tell him what was really going on and that he would never hurt them, but he sure was still blocked.

What should he do?

If he did something against his family, he was afraid that they wanted to hurt Ace and Luffy, but he couldn't sit still and let them hurt them anyway. This was very complex. Sabo needed to think carefully about what was the best thing to do. At least he already had information, some evidence that Ace didn’t deserve that demand and that Sabo was being scammed.

He must surely seek a lawyer. He knew Hack, who was a lawyer in addition to teaching karate with Koala. Maybe he could help him. Sabo didn't have much money like his parents to pay for expensive lawyers or bribe judges, but he would try to win with the truth. If the lawsuit was in his name, there must be some way to change the status or do something. Should he have studied law instead of communication? It would be very helpful at that time, but Sabo didn’t imagine himself in that job. Now that he remembered, he hadn't written the news story for Amphibia either, but with what had just happened he doubted he would ever concentrate.

Karasu didn't take long to call him, thankfully. He told him what Sabo already suspected and gave him the details of the lawsuit. How absurd and twisted Lucci could be in inventing ridiculous causes. Still, with enough money they could make any fantasy come true.

"I didn't start it," he reiterated, "but I know who did: my parents."

He told Karasu about the call he had with his mother and the audio he recorded about it.

"Identity theft is a very serious crime, Sabo," the man told him seriously. “It can even be punished with jail and your case is not something simple, they are making a lawsuit on your behalf.”

"I know," he replied, running a hand through his jaded hair. “They can be even worse, but… I won't let them go on.”

In that instant, Sabo decided that if his parents had to hurt someone it would be him, not Ace or Luffy. Either way, he would fix this situation and make sure that they don't bother again.

"Karasu, thank you very much for helping me with this, but… I need to ask you something else."

If he tried hard and was smart, Sabo could do it. At least get Ace out of trouble and Luffy safe. With that he was satisfied. Fortunately, since leaving his parents home, he had managed to surround himself with people who truly appreciated him for who he was and could give him the hand he needed.


	33. Chapter 33

"Are you serious?!”

“Yes!”

Ace almost jumped into place of happiness as Ivan stared at him without leaving his amazement. His doctor went up to him and they hugged celebrating without caring if anyone else heard his maddened screams.

The demand was gone!

Somehow, it disappeared.

He didn't quite understand what Tsuru had told him, but it had gone away. The happiness that seized him at that moment was so great that, even after a few days, Ace couldn't shake it off. He thought of calling Ivan to tell him the news, but preferred to go directly. Also, he needed to get prescriptions for the medicines he took regularly. Fuck the drugs, he wanted to tell him and now he couldn't stop smiling with excitement.

He laughed as he hadn’t in a long time and felt light, as if a great ton of weight had been lifted that prevented him from walking upright. If that demand was gone, it meant that no one would want to take Luffy from him and he could stop worrying about it.

“How did it happen?” Ivan asked, barely releasing him. He needed answers.

"I'm not quite sure," Ace sighed. They both went to sit down to talk more calmly, although he still felt euphoric as he rarely did. “Tsuru said they lifted it and also found some  _ irregularities _ on the part of the lawyer and the judge. She didn't say much, but the important thing is that everything is fine now and Luffy will stay with me.”

"He wasn't going anywhere, boy," Iva-chan assured. Of course not, Luffy's place was with his dad and all the people who loved him.

"I know, but… I was really scared."

This past few weeks had been chaotic and overwhelming. Never as sad as his teenage years, but it did get pretty close. At that time, Ace experienced a great emptiness that would not let him breathe and now that anguish resurfaced as fear at the thought that his son was going to be taken from him. It didn’t happen. Luffy would stay with him and no one was going to harm him. Although he really wanted to hit that son of a bitch.

"It wasn't Sabo," he told Ivan. “I mean… I don't think he intended to do it, it was his family.”

Iva-chan knew about Ace's history with Sabo and how they broke up, how Sabo's family despised him and pushed them away. It was a drama that Ivan couldn't believe that a child this young had to experience.

"It is impossible to understand how they can cause your son so much suffering," he said in horror. “Have you spoken with him?”

Ace shook his head.

"No... I don't know how to do it or if I should."

After what happened, Ace instantly thought about calling Sabo. He wanted to speak, to hear his voice, and to know what he had to say, but he didn't dare. He only got to unblock the contact on his phone but didn’t call him or send a message. He didn’t know how to start that conversation and again he felt seized with anxiety.

"Maybe he's waiting for your call too," Ivan commented. “I bet he was the one who dropped that lawsuit, otherwise it can’t be explained how it got lifted so quickly.”

"Yeah, I think so too." Without noticing, Ace smirked.

He was sure that it was Sabo who managed to do it and he felt foolish for doubting him in his despair, but he also didn’t have the confirmation of whether things really were like that. The best thing would be to ask, but Ace didn't know how to do it after the conversation they had on the phone. He didn't feel ready to take that step yet.

"Is he going to Luffy's birthday party?" Ivan asked suddenly, and Ace's eyes widened in surprise.

It was true, Luffy’s birthday would be soon. He had talked to Rosi and the old men to have a party for him at their house. He did think about telling Sabo, but that was before everything got out of hand. Surely Luffy was hoping Sabo would come..

He sighed and scratched his head wearily.

"I should tell him, right?" he said with resignation. “I don't know… I didn't even finish planning what to do for Luffy.”

"Jinbe and I can get a bouncy castle."

"Luffy loves those things."

He smiled when he imagined the boy's face. The least he had thought about lately was his son's party, but now his head was a little clearer to think about it. Luffy would be five years old, so they had to make him a party with his friends and the people who loved him the most. It was stressful for him to think about talking to Sabo.

Should he call him? Maybe he would try when he got home, but he didn't have much faith. After the way he spoke to him, what would be the best way to approach him again? He had to apologize and ask him what happened. It made him nervous to think that Sabo might be upset because he doubted him.

He said goodbye to Ivan promising that they would take care of Luffy's birthday issues.

His head hurt a bit after his little binge a couple of days ago. He got plenty of rest and his stomach was very queasy. He would think twice about drinking that much again, but he had fun with the guys. He laughed a lot and about that girl... He didn't even have her phone, Thatch told him that he could get it for him but Ace refused. He didn't have the head at the time to handle interactions with a new person. He liked what happened, he just didn't feel like he had the ability to handle so many relationships.

Still, it excited him a little to remember that wild and unexpected moment. Was this what people his age did without so many mental problems and a four-year-old son tied to his leg? Maybe it was fun living that experience that night.

He was slightly tempted to call Isuka, text her, or go out again. The intensity that he experienced was exciting and made him curious to know what other things he could do, live and explore.

When he left the clinic, he heard someone calling him.

"Marco," Ace said, surprised to see him and smiled at him. He was wearing normal clothes. “You aren’t working?”

"I just finished," he replied. “I wanted to know how you were, but I see you better.”

He nodded in relief. He remembered that Marco comforted him a little in that time where he felt most overwhelmed. It was weird because he barely knew him, but he felt very confident opening up to him at the time.

"Yes, luckily things were sorted out," he explained and felt sincerity in Marco's smile and calm eyes. It was pretty cute. “Thanks for the other day, I really needed to take a break, even though that coffee sucks.”

His words made Marco laugh.

"It really does, but I'm glad I helped you," he said sincerely. “Would you like to go for a drink? My shift is over.”

That question blew him away. Was he serious? Maybe it was just a friendly invitation. A couple of times Ivan commented to him that this doctor had some kind of interest in him, but Ace didn't think it was like that. They barely knew each other, although he didn't know the girl he was with at the bar either. Why could he make out with her in a dirty bathroom stall and not have coffee with Marco? What was the difference? Ace's head was very confused at that moment and felt a hand stroking his head.

A reminiscence flooded his mind. He had already felt Marco's kind touch, and this time it made his heart tremble hard and his face warm.

"I don't know…" he murmured and felt him close, but not in an invasive way. Marco kept some distance from Ace, perhaps so as not to scare him away, although that only raised more questions.

"If you don't want to today, we can meet another day," he suggested.

"Just for coffee or for...?"

"Whatever you want, Ace," Marco replied with a smile that sought to relax him. “I like being with you, you are beautiful.”

Those words sent chills down his spine. They were kind, sweet and caring; just like that hand that stroked his hair and moved away after a few moments. Marco seemed an older man —at least a lot older than Ace, but he didn't know his age— and with a calm, but attractive presence. He wasn't like Smoker or Sabo or the girl at the bar.

His head was in a mess and he made a lot of stupid decisions. Now would not be the exception.

He didn't answer anything, but the moment Marco's hand moved away from him, Ace took a step forward. His hands took hold of the shoulders of that doctor and he reached up to reach him. Lately he wasn't sure what it was he wanted, but in that instant he felt it was okay if he did that. If Marco didn't want to, he would tell him and push him away, right?

He thought of his kiss with Isuka, whom he barely knew when it happened, and Marco wasn’t the same. He had seen him at a hard time and listened to him no matter how much he had no need to. He also knew his son, he knew his name, what he did, who he was. Maybe he didn't know him in a more personal and intimate way, but Ace felt like he could in that moment. 

His mouth rested on that man's and he could feel his surprise, but instantly an arm went around him. He liked doing it. All of his skin prickled and he sighed through parted lips.

Yes, it could have come to more. Go have that coffee and who knows where they would end up. No. Ace couldn't do that.

He pulled away not daring to see him for what he did. It was reckless. As much as he liked it and his heart trembled, he felt like a fool. How dare he kiss him for no reason?! He was certainly mad.

"I'm sorry ..." he murmured sheepishly. “I'd really like to, but… I can't.”

He wasn't lying, because he really wanted to, but it was necessary to put a brake on it. His head was going to explode if he didn't relax a bit. He had had very overwhelming experiences in a short time and needed to rest.

Marco smiled understandingly at him and caressed his face. Ace felt like he didn't deserve that kindness. Perhaps he also noticed how upset he was.

"Don't worry, Ace," he said. “Maybe some other time.”

He nodded because it might or might not. It was impossible for him to predict what might happen in his future, much less in his love relationships. He barely understood how to build his sexuality and handle his romantic ties.

He went home thinking his headache was killing him and all he wanted was a painkiller and a twenty hour nap. He wished that would help clear his head a bit, but Ace very much doubted it was an easy thing to fix.

**.**

**.**

**.**

After dinner, Ace stayed for a while talking to Rosi about Luffy's birthday. Their son was turning five, so they would invite some children from the kindergarten, also other friends and some of Law's classmates. It would be a lot of children, but he supposed they could all go. They were going to have the party at the house and they would take advantage of the pleasant spring days. Ace asked Luffy if he wanted something special, but the boy only replied that he wanted a lot of food and music. So they had to think of something to entertain all those little ones.

Rosinante thought they could have a costume party and Ace found it fun. At least it would be different, even adults would have to go in costume. Now they would have to find clothes for the children and for themselves, but that was the least of his worries.

This year they were having a much bigger party and he wanted his son to have fun. Should he invite Smoker? He hadn't even told Sabo anything yet. He also wanted to tell Koala to attend because Luffy loved her so much. He needed to organize all that, but Rosi was helping him and Ivan also told him that he would give him a hand.

Ace made a list of everything he had to buy and felt tired. Organizing a children's birthday was more work than he imagined, but he was still excited to think how happy Luffy would be. Even the old men seemed excited. They would take many photos that day.

"I want to be a pirate!" Luffy yelled when he asked him what he wanted to dress up as. “Are you going to be a pirate with me, Torao?”

"No," Law replied. “I want to be a doctor.”

"You can be the pirate doctor on my pirate ship, I'm the captain!"

He laughed seeing how Luffy teased his cousin. Ace interrupted their games in the room to find out what costumes they wanted. So pirate and doctor, he would have to tell Rosi to find something to dress them, in addition to thinking about what they would wear. He also suggested that they should send out invitations for the children. There were still many things to do.

The doorbell rang and Rosinante told him that someone was looking for him at the door. Looking for him? And at this hour? It was already pretty late. Could it be Smoker? He hasn't seen him for quite a few days. He only spoke to him on the phone and didn’t tell him too much about what happened with Luffy. That situation stressed him too much and he had not felt the strength to share, perhaps he should‘ve, that man would have been very supportive. Still, he could tell him to go.

He walked to the door and Rosi's gaze confused him. Why hadn't he shown Smoker in? Because it wasn't him.

Sabo was outside, and when Ace opened the door, he froze at the sight.

He didn't say anything, he couldn't.

He really was there. That moment brought him a deja vu, but it didn't feel bad, just  _ weird _ . It was uncomfortable to have that encounter, although it was necessary. However, Ace didn't know what to say to him and at the same time he had a million things going through his head.

"Sabo…" he murmured looking at him as if he still hadn't finished accepting that he was there in front of him.

"I want to talk to you... can we talk?"

His tone was calm and Ace felt confident as well as nervous. He nodded anyway. He thought about letting him come in, but he didn't want the others to hear. He didn't know what could come out of that conversation.

He got out and closed the door behind him. There was no better privacy than talking out there.

There was no need to fear. They had already spoken before, but why now did he feel that it was impossible to share his words with Sabo? All the trust they had managed to regain was destroyed without Ace noticing. Still, he wanted to know what he had to say.

"Ace, about what happened…" Sabo began. He looked exhausted. He had thick circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days and his face was pale, tired, making him wonder what was wrong with him. “Sorry, I really never thought they'd do something like that, but that's it. It’s over.”

He blinked, arching an eyebrow, not quite understanding what he meant.

"You really didn't know anything?" He dared to ask. He wanted to hear him say it. “I got a letter, a subpoena, saying you were suing me for Luffy tenancy.”

"I know, but I didn't." Sabo leaned a little closer. “The least I want is to hurt you or damage Luffy.”

He was silent for a moment. He knew he was honest. Sabo had never lied to him, how was he able to doubt him? The situation had driven him crazy.

"Yeah… I thought it was weird," Ace admitted crossing his arms. It was cold and he barely came out in a very thin sweater, but he wasn't planning on going in now. “When your father and that lawyer showed up saying they were representing you, I didn't believe it, but they said they could only be there if you authorized it, so… "

“They lied, Ace," he interrupted. “They forged my signature and tried to blackmail me into doing nothing, but I got to an arrangement with them.”

Those words made him feel more disoriented. What? Sabo did what? Then the lawsuit disappeared because of him. Knowing that generated a great emotion, so much so that he smiled without realizing it as he heard the whole story.

"I spoke with an acquaintance who is a prosecutor," he explained. “He helped me find out and I reported them for usurping my identity. It was somewhat difficult, but I made an arrangement with them so that they would leave me alone and not bother you.”

His eyes widened in surprise. He listened carefully to Sabo's entire story. How he had to confront his parents, get evidence about how they stole his identity and that they threatened him, but Sabo moved on. There was no trial. Both lawsuits were withdrawn in exchange for his family never speaking to him again and they also gave him financial compensation.

"It's a lot of money," Sabo confessed, laughing. “I have nothing I want to do with it, I was thinking of leaving it for Luffy or…”

His words trailed off as Ace reached over to hug him. He just didn't resist it. Having blamed him, Sabo tried madly to help and Ace felt bad about how he treated him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, tightening his arms around his neck. “I'm sorry for what I said and for having believed you would do something like that... Seriously, Sabo. Thank you.”

After getting over the daze, Sabo hugged him too.

The cold that haunted him vanished in that instant and it was too pleasant. Ace rested his forehead on Sabo's shoulder and smiled in relief. He would never doubt him again. He was happy that this problem was over and nothing bad happened.

"It wasn't your fault, Ace," Sabo said, shaking him tightly. “You stood up for Luffy and you're amazing for that.”

"No, you are amazing, idiot."

His words came out almost muffled as he spoke them against Sabo's clothes. He squeezed his eyes feeling the emotions overflowing him and he didn’t want to allow it at that moment. Despite having everything against them like when they were two children, this time they were able to overcome that horrible situation. They may not have been able to stop them from being separated, but together they protected Luffy from people who wanted to harm him.

He clung his hands to that strong back and felt happy because he knew that the same Sabo he knew was there hugging him, that it was him and he had not betrayed him. How was such a person born from those parents? He had nothing to do with them and neither did Luffy. Blood didn't matter. The only being they cared about with whom they shared a biological bond was their young son, who held them together to this day.

Sabo's hands caressed his back and Ace was encouraged to breathe, because he was holding himself for long moments. He didn't want to get excited, but the intense situation was getting over him.

He barely parted a bit and they met each other's eyes. The last time they were this close was when they kissed in the apartment, but it seemed like a century had passed since then. He felt chills in his body and widened his eyes in surprise when he realized that. The heat that Sabo radiated made him shudder and he pulled away completely, because he knew things wouldn't end well if he stood still with those arms around his body. The evidence and their records told him that things didn't end well —actually, they got out of control— when they touched.

"Uh…" Ace stammered, not knowing what to say. “Do you want to stop by to see Luffy? He said he missed you.”

He suddenly remembered the words of his little son and imagined how happy he would be to see him.

"Yes, I'd love to, I miss him too."

Sabo's smile caught on and he turned to open the door. The relief that ran through his body was inexplicable.

"Soon it will be his birthday and we will have a costume party," he commented, remembering that detail. “I hope you can come.”

"I'm not going to miss it."

He almost laughed at his comment and because it was so easy to say that. Everything went well, but for how long? His fatalistic mind had him used to expecting something bad and his relationship with Sabo always had many problems, what more could he expect? He ignored those thoughts and focused on the happiness his son displayed when he was reunited with his other dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. What did you do? I ate a lot, drank alcohol, and saw gay donghuas. I hope to celebrate December 31 the same way: drunk writing porn.   
> Anyway, sorry for these last chapters, but the next one is my favorite and I'm very excited to publish it. My intention was to better develop Marco and Ace's relationship, but if I did that the fanfic would not end anymore hahaha   
> Thanks to everyone who joined me this year reading, leaving a comment and giving me support. Next year I want to upload many things, I already have a new SaboAce fanfic almost ready, longer than this, and I hope to start publishing it soon ♥️ Happy New Year and see you next Sunday!


	34. Chapter 34

Waking up that day was almost impossible. Ace set five alarms because he couldn't fall asleep. He yawned and rolled over in his bed until he managed to sit up, staring at nothing with narrowed eyes and pondering how necessary it was to wake up at that time on a Saturday.

No. He had to be strong and get up. There were millions of things to do that day: Luffy's birthday.

The brat had slept in his bed the night before. Ace saw him there, sprawled next to him and smiled. Luffy looked very comfortable and asleep. He leaned down to caress his baby's face and kiss him gently. He couldn't believe he was already five years old. Time passed in a terrifying way. He still remembered when it was a tiny larva that slept on his chest and gave him warmth. When had he grown up? He hardly noticed, it all happened too fast, but Luffy would always remain his baby.

Very carefully, he hugged the boy with the intention of pulling him out of bed. Luffy complained about the movement, but didn't wake up, he just snuggled against Ace. It was too early for him to have the strength to wake up. He carried him in his arms to Law's room and was very quiet so as not to wake the other boy. He slowly opened the covers and left Luffy there with his cousin. He smiled when he saw how he immediately tried to hug Law to continue sleeping. In a couple of hours he would come for them, now he had to eat breakfast and start preparing everything he needed for the party.

The house was empty. He assumed the old men had gone to buy bread to make the hamburgers and hot dogs that they would serve at the party. They had also made onigiris, which Law loved. He found it strange that Rosinante was nowhere to be found.

Ace enjoyed the silence in his house as he boiled the water to make his coffee. He came across the kitchen table with many stacks of disposable plates, glasses, and cutlery that they would use at the party. They already had everything they needed. They were having the party outside, so they had cut the grass and everything was clean.

He looked out the window observing the playground equipment that Sengoku and Garp gave Luffy for his birthday. Ace had thought it was a little bit too much, but they didn't even check with him before buying, as they always did. There was a slide, swings and a carousel that took up a lot of space, but the back garden was huge and there was still a lot of space.

When he finishes his coffee, he should go set up the tables outside. That’s where the party would take place. The day was beautiful, with a spectacular sun, and the children who would come could play at ease.

As soon as he finished eating breakfast, he heard the doorbell and met a man on the other side of the door, who told him that they were coming to install the bouncy castle. As promised, Ivan rented one of those for Luffy's party. He let them pass and indicated where they should install it.

Good. They had been punctual. Things were going as expected. Now he just had to finish fixing the area where the party would be, getting ready, putting the children in costume and greeting the people... Damn it, why was he alone? Someone else had better come over soon and help him.

Rosi appeared as if he had called him out with his thoughts and that relieved him, but he didn't expect him to show up with more people.

"Rosi," Ace called him closer when he saw people enter with boards and packages that confused him. “What is all this?”

"My gift, what else could it be?" Doflamingo appeared surprising him and cutting off his question. Ace felt more confused when he saw him. However, the man paid him no more attention and continued talking to the people who entered with them. “I want you to install everything very carefully, it’s something important.”

Why did he never understand what that guy was saying? Ace looked at Rosinante waiting for an explanation but it didn't happen, he just got an apologetic look. What did that mean?

Just moments later, the bouncy castle was assembled and next to it was a  _ house _ .

Doflamingo bought his son a house?!

It must be a joke.

Ace looked at it in amazement at all the details. It was white and cute like a dollhouse, but big enough for a kid like Luffy or Law to enter. It looked like an old miniature beach house. It was almost a meter separated from the ground by white columns, it had a small porch and even a slide to go down. He looked at every detail with shock and denied thinking it was crazy. ****

He remembered his childhood treehouse and thought that was the  _ wealthy  _ version, but he still couldn't believe it.

"You didn't have to buy this, it must have been very expensive," he retorted at Doflamingo and he didn't even flinch.

"It's for Law to play."

"With Luffy…" Rosi added.

“Yeah, that”

He didn’t waste time on arguing with that man. Still, it seemed like too much of a gift.

"I tried to stop him, but it was difficult," Rosinante mentioned and Ace didn't say anything to him. They agreed that Doflamingo could go to Luffy's party, but he never imagined that he would show up with something like that. He always had to be so extravagant.

He ignored that detail because he didn't feel like arguing, nor was he the one to tell that guy where to spend his money. However, he suspected that Luffy would be more elated by the bouncy castle. He couldn't blame him either, because when he saw it all assembled even Ace felt like getting on there.

Garp and Sengoku returned shortly after. They set up the tables in the garden with tablecloths and chairs. Time went by getting the party ready and Ace realized that soon people would start to arrive, so he should go and wake up Luffy. On the weekends, his son always took the chance to sleep in, but it was almost noon and he knew he would be hungry, although he could eat as much as he wanted that day.

He went to the room and was met by a hilarious scene. Law was still lying on the bed, but he was awake and playing with a tablet while Luffy hugged him suffocatingly and he was still asleep.

"Finally," Law sighed. “I want to go to the bathroom but he won't let me go.”

Ace laughed coming closer.

"I'll take him off you," he mentioned, sitting up in bed and stroking his son's hair. “Luffy, it's time to wake up.”

He spoke in a soft way, because he didn't want his son to have a bad start that day, but Luffy complained clinging closer to Law and Ace had to make him let go of him.

Law was a kind and very calm boy, so much so that he might not move if it meant waking Luffy. He took great care of him. Although he probably hadn't been able to get up because that little boy was hugging him so intensely.

"I don't want..." he cried without wanting to open his eyes.

"Come on, son, it's your birthday," he reminded him as he stroked his face to wake him up. “All your friends will arrive and you will have food and many gifts.”

"But I want to sleep." Luffy's tired eyes started to widen and when he saw his dad, he stretched out his arms like when he was a small baby.

Ace couldn't resist him. He pressed Luffy against his body and felt him cling like a monkey as he hid his face in his neck for warmth. Despite having grown up, Luffy kept doing the same things as when he was younger and that inevitably brought a smile to his face.

He took him clinging to his body and they left Law alone. He told the boy that he would come back now because they had to dress for the party and he nodded.

He went to the kitchen with Luffy and found a small sandwich for him to eat. The smell of ham, cheese, and bread together seemed to wake up the dwarf. Luffy could forget his sleepiness when he remembered that he was hungry. Ace ate some too.

"Are we going to put on the costume before the people arrive?"

“Yes!” Luffy answered happily and more awake. “I want my pirate clothes.”

The happiness that overflowed that child was enchanting. He washed his face to remove the remains of fatigue and finish waking up. They brushed their teeth and Ace searched for the costumes. Luffy insisted on wearing sandals, so Ace put him his pirate shorts, long yellow belt, an open-chested shirt and also a black hat with a pirate skull that he bought in a bazaar. Luffy put it on top of his straw hat.

As he dressed him, he heard people starting to arrive, so he shouldn't waste time. Rosi had already taken care of dressing Law, who was a doctor. The old men had done some make up like zombies, although Ace actually lost part of the morning trying to do their make up for them by watching tutorials on the internet. It looked awful, but it still made for funny pictures. Rosinante dressed as a clown, also made up his face and Ace thought he looked more like the Joker out of Arkham than a birthday clown, but he didn't think anyone would be scared.

He finished dressing and went downstairs with his son.

"What are you supposed to be wearing?" Garp asked, confused seeing him. “Pajamas?”

“Of course not!” Ace snapped offended. “I am a Jedi, old man.”

Well, maybe part of his costume was pajamas or it looked like it. He asked Jinbe for a suit that he used for karate, but on top of it he put on a brown cape and at his waist he wore the lightsaber that children used to play. Of course he was a Jedi! Ignorant old man. Although maybe he chose that because it was the easiest and he had forgotten to think about a costume option in advance, but that was fine with him.

The one who had arrived early was Smoker and Ace smiled very happy to see him. Luffy had already gone to hang on to the man and received many congratulations on his birthday and pat on the head along with a neatly wrapped gift.

"You'll open it later," he told his son, and he pouted but agreed.

"I am a pirate, Kemuri!"

"I noticed, I hope you're a good pirate or I'll have to arrest you."

"You can't arrest me because you love me."

He smiled when he saw his son laugh. He got along too well with Smoker and it was cute to realize that. He was a very good man, in many ways.

Ace frowned at something that didn't quite fit.

"And your costume?" He asked the policeman.

"I didn't know I had to come in costume too, I thought it was just for the children."

"Oh, but it’s more fun that way," Ace said as he thought about what to do. Instantly an idea occurred to him. “Did you bring your sunglasses?”

Smoker didn't seem to understand why he wanted to know that, but he still nodded and gave them to him. Ace put them on him and looked at him carefully. He was wearing a leather jacket, dark pants and those glasses gave him the right touch.

"Ready, you're the Terminator!"

His joke seemed to amuse him and he received a smile. He wasn't overly expressive, but Ace wasn't complaining about that either. This was his personality.

Little by little, the house began to fill with people. Luffy's friends arrived. Ace recognized Usopp and Rebecca plus other classmates from the kindergarten. Bellemere, Rosi's friend, with her daughters Nami and Nojiko also came. They also invited their classmates: Sanji, Zoro and Vivi. Luffy knew these children from being friends with Nami and they had become close, despite being older than him. Law's friends Shachi, Penguin and Bepo also attended the party. It was normal, Luffy invited his friends to Law's birthdays and vice versa. 

Ivan appeared stunning as the queen he was. Jinbe instead dressed like a gentleman. Ace decided to invite Bon-chan, who danced like a swan princess and did a lot of choreography that the children loved.

All the equipment, the bouncy castle and the house that Doflamingo bought were filled with children in a matter of seconds. The garden was filled with screams and laughter, which was too pleasant, although he had to watch that so many children together didn’t make any disasters.

Luffy was very surprised by the little house and asked if it was really for him. He ran around it, jumped off the slide and yelled at Ace that he was moving, but instantly forgot about everything when he went to claim the bouncy castle as his own.

The old men, along with Rosi and Ace, spent time with the adults who had stayed, in addition to watching over the children. The doorbell of the house rang and when he went to open it they discovered that it was Sabo and Koala. The girl smiled happily in her witch costume while Sabo was a vampire.

"It's to destroy the patriarchy with my magic, you know," she commented in reference to her disguise. “And you come from knocking down some death star?”

"At last someone who understands it," Ace said, causing laughter from both of them.

"It's part of pop culture, I didn't even watch them," Koala said and pointed at Sabo. “I went with him to watch Episode VII without watching the others, but it wasn't bad.”

"I had no one to go with."

Ace found that anecdote amusing and was surprised by the confidence the two of them felt. It was nice and it kind of reminded him of the dynamic they used to have, but that was long ago.

This was not the time to think about old things. He took them both to the garden where the party was. Luffy, instantly seeing Sabo, jumped on him and dragged him with his friends.

"This is Sabo," he introduced. “My other dad.”

The pride with which Luffy spoke was cute and he was also amused by the embarrassment that Sabo seemed to feel.

"Is your dad a vampire?" Usopp asked but instantly hid behind Sanji. “He’s scary…”

"Don't be silly!” Nami assured him. “Vampires don't come out during the day.”

"The ones my sister reads do," Sanji commented thinking about Reiju's novels, but she never let him see those movies.

The children kept arguing until the food was ready and they ran like savages. He ignored Luffy, who was hiding the food under the table so that they would give him more, although he had to reprimand him when he started fighting with Zoro because he wanted to steal his burger. He was a somewhat  _ complicated _ and anxious child when it came to food, Ace couldn't explain why.

So the afternoon passed. It was quite fun actually. He laughed a lot and enjoyed himself. However, in a few moments he would stop to watch Sabo, who was playing with his child, conversing with Koala, Ivan or other people who were not Ace. That was fine, right? They didn't have to talk all the time. If they were there together it was because of Luffy.

He focused his attention on Smoker and didn't want to think about the contradictions in his head. Maybe it was time to stop  _ messing around _ a bit. He thought about what happened with Marco and the girl he was with at the bar. They weren't major things, but he wasn't a match with Smoker either. Even so, the man was on his son's birthday and always treated him with great affection. Maybe he should think it would be nice to have a relationship with him.

That sounded good, but what about Sabo?

Nothing. They were Luffy's parents, period. He should stop feeling so confused about having him around. Getting used to the idea of them separated would be better. Also, he looked good with Koala. He watched them laugh and smiled a bit sadly, because he really thought they looked good together, but it kind of hurt to admit it. Ace had to think that it would soon stop hurting.

Smoker told him that he should go to work and Ace understood. After he said goodbye to Luffy, he walked him to the door.

"I'd like to see you another time," the policeman told him.

"Sure," he replied with a smile. “We can talk later, good luck with your work.”

He received a nod in response and felt the gloved hand caress his skin. He closed his eyes as he received a soft goodbye kiss. It was refreshing and enjoyable, as was Smoker in general. 

What would be wrong if he formed a relationship with this man? He was amazing and it gave him the stability he needed. Even so, Ace felt many doubts that didn’t stop him from advancing. That confusing tangle always bothered him a lot, but he didn't know how to fix it. Bon-chan had already told him that actually that feeling of overwhelm arose because Ace himself put those kinds of obstacles, but he still couldn't find a solution. Perhaps the answer was that he was not ready to form a stable relationship. This was not the time to ponder his inner conflicts.

He returned to his son's party and the long-awaited moment of blowing out the candles came. The cake his grandparents got him was quite large and had a treasure island on it, which was in tune with Luffy's pirate costume.

"Law, get next to your cousin," Rosi told him, ready to take a photo.

The boy seemed unhappy but in the end he approached and Luffy hugged him while smiling at the waterfall of photos that stalked them.

They sang and told Luffy that he should make his wishes.

Ace and Rosi busied himself with cutting the cake for everyone while Luffy opened his presents.

"Dad," Luffy called out, surrounded by his presents and torn wrapping paper while being videotaped by Garp and Sengoku. Ace heard it, but he was busy. “Dad…. Dad! ACE!”

He looked up confused at that furious scream from Luffy. When did he ever call him by name?

"Ace, come help him!" Garp yelled and Ace felt hatred for that crazy old man.

A hand landed on his shoulder and Ace smirked when he saw that it was from Sabo.

"Let me help you," he offered in reference to the cake. “I think they need you over there.”

That made a lot of surprise and bewilderment in him. He denied instantly assuring that it wasn’t necessary.

"No... It’s not..."

“DAD!”

“I'M COMING! WAIT A MINUTE!”

He growled in exasperation and agreed to leave Sabo with Koala at his cake-cutting stall to tend to his demanding son, who apparently only wanted to annoy him in particular.

The party went very well overall.

When the evening began to fall, the people left and the children retired with their parents. Some people stayed to help clean, luckily. Ace didn't want to imagine having to clean all that mess alone. Luffy went inside to inspect his gifts with Law and Ace finished removing the tablecloths from the tables. They had already put away the leftover food and removed all the things.

He still had to wait for the people to come take the bouncy castle. Where had Rosi been? He said he would see to it that those people were already here.

He looked at the rubber structure and was surprised that it was still inflated even though all the children jumped there for hours and the machine that held it had lost strength.

"Are you thinking of getting on?" Asked a voice behind him and he instantly realized it was Sabo approaching.

"Of course not," he said, but a little doubt crept into his voice. “It was supposed to be for children.”

“And?” Sabo smiled at him. “Everyone has already left, no one is looking... What do you say?”

He blinked in shock, not believing what he was hearing. Was that proposal serious?

He couldn't get on the bouncy castle when he was twenty years old… could he?

In truth there was no one left. Just a couple of people inside, but it was already getting dark and no one would see them. Maybe there was nothing wrong with it.

He agreed.

As if he was doing some mischief, he kicked off his shoes and climbed into that bouncy castle that was no longer as stiff as it was in the morning but was holding on as he jumped. Sabo also went in and they both laughed like they did when they were children. The adrenaline that ran through his body was similar to the crazy things they did in the town, when they took food from Makino's bar or stole some money without being seen to go to the cyber cafe to play video games.

It was fun and sneaky, but maybe a lot dumber than the things they did back then. Still, it fascinated him. He laughed a lot as he bounced and fell, tangled in his Jedi costume. Sabo only had a white shirt with ruffled sleeves and jabot collars, but his blue vampire cloak and fake fangs had been left somewhere inside the house.

His hand clung to Sabo's when he felt himself fall backward and took him with him laughing at his clumsiness. The castle began to lose more strength and slowly deflate as they both caught their breath.

"We should go out," Sabo said, wanting to get up, but it was impossible.

"Yeah...”

Ace was barely out of air. He tried to normalize his breathing, but for some reason he couldn't stop smiling.

He watched Sabo, who had fallen next to him on that rubber floor, and it felt too good with him, like that afternoon when they had coffee or the times they talked nonsense and sent memes by text messages. A great familiar warmth welled up from his chest and prevented him from moving in that instant. Seeing Sabo's eyes reminded him of Luffy, but also of many moments where he was very happy.

They didn't get up, they didn't want to. Ace only lifted his head when he felt Sabo approach him, a totally unconscious movement, and he closed his eyes as soon as he felt that touch. It had a slight chocolate and coffee flavor from when they ate the cake not long ago, which made him purr with pleasure. His hands touched the fabric of his shirt and he almost flinched when he felt a hand caress his waist and travel to his back.

This had already gotten out of hand, but that's the way it was with Sabo. It was before and Ace was beginning to accept that this would be the case now that they met again. He wasn't able to think of anything other than his mouth opening to taste it as he sighed and tangled his hands in that blonde hair.

The castle deflated and covered their heads, but that was not enough to make them want to separate.

"Ace? Are you around here?” Rosinante's voice broke into the quiet of the garden. “They already came to take out the bouncy castle.”

Hearing that, Ace separated from Sabo and tried to get out of that sea of rubber and emerge as if nothing had happened.

“I'm here!” He said when he got out.

"What were you doing in there?" Rosi raised an eyebrow but instantly seemed to understand everything when he saw Sabo leave. “Oh… Ace!”

He felt like he might make himself small in that moment when he heard the way he spoke his name as a reprimand. Yes, he knew it was not the best time or place for  _ that _ and he didn’t know how to hide it. His hair was wild and his face was red with shame that gave away what had just happened.

Even so, his eyes immediately noticed evidence on Rosinante's neck that would not let him pass.

"Don't you dare say a word, _Mr._ _marks on the neck,_ " he snapped combatively and Rosi covered himself instantly. Neither of them could blame themselves, they both did things they shouldn't have in the wrong place.

"Well…" he sighed resignedly. “Go away, they are coming to get all this out.”

He didn't know how to say goodbye to Sabo when he left with Koala. What happened outside was something that left him very stunned and his head hurting. Luckily, Sengoku made him some tea when everyone left and he was able to sit down to rest while he heard Luffy playing alongside Law with all his gifts. Tomorrow he would deal with getting depressed about how silly he was, now he just wanted tea and a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see the little house that Doflamingo gave to Luffy [here](https://www.instagram.com/p/B74m7sslAeX/?igshid=zl68x4p8pdrb)  
> Thanks for reading!


	35. Chapter 35

Another difficult thing about parenthood was dealing with Luffy's whims. It was hard to convince him that he couldn't wear his pirate costume every day, but today he let him do it. When the boy returned from the kindergarten, he told him that they would go out and then demanded to put on his captain's costume to leave. He accepted, because it didn't hurt anyone either, and the weather was nice enough for him to run around dressed like that. However, he carried warmer clothes in his backpack because he didn't know exactly when they would come back.

He told Rosi that he had to do some paperwork at the university, but before he arranged with Smoker to meet Luffy in the park. It was not the first time they had such encounters and they used to be somewhat enjoyable. His son enjoyed being with Smoker and Ace did too.

It was the best to have that kind of relationship, right? Someone who would like to be with him and also who would appreciate his child. He imagined having a serious relationship with Smoker, something where it was just them and no one else. The image didn't displease him. The man was good, handsome, and loved him; Ace knew he was so. They had a good time together, in many ways, and he always felt sheltered every time he hugged him. Why wouldn't he want to have something with him?

He remembered his kiss with Sabo in the bouncy castle and felt terrible.

He was doing the wrong thing and he knew it.

Ace knew that maybe he was too young to hook up with one person, but he wasn't desperate to experiment or _be_ with more people either. He recalled the experiences he had accumulated in recent times and came to the conclusion that he could be attracted to a man or a woman, but a romantic relationship was different. He had to connect with the person in a much more intimate way and he felt that with Smoker that could happen, but there was a problem: Sabo.

He walked with his child to the park where he always went with Luffy and the little one ran happily to the playground equipment. Smoker joined them shortly after. Luffy demanded to play with him, but then he started talking to other children. He always found someone to get into his games.

He sat on a bench a few meters away as he watched his son play and claim that he was the king of pirates. Smoker sat down next to him.

"He's got a lot of energy," Ace commented looking at Luffy and Smoker nodded. "How was your day? Busy?"

"Quite a bit actually, as always," he replied, pausing before continuing. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Those words caught Ace's attention and he looked at him intrigued. Smoker was always a serious man, but his body language was showing him that he was having trouble continuing the conversation.

"About us," he clarified.

Ace instantly had a lot of ideas going through his head and he felt nervous. What about them? Was there some kind of problem? He preferred to keep quiet and listen to what he wanted to say to him. That conversation was necessary and Ace knew it.

"I really enjoy my time with you and also with Luffy," Smoker mentioned looking at him with his circumspect expression, but at the same time he also felt affection through his eyes and his words. "Still, I think maybe this is not the time to take this to a more serious level."

He blinked confused by his words, what did he mean by that? Didn't he want to have anything with him?

"I..." Ace stammered, wondering what to answer. "I don't know, I really like you, but I'm... A lot has happened lately and I don't think I can do it."

He lowered his head, feeling guilty about what he was saying. If Ace went ahead and had a relationship with Smoker it could hurt him and he didn't want that. That man was becoming someone important, a person who shared time with his son and his family, someone with whom to spend time and form a close bond. Still, Ace feared that he might not be able to reciprocate if his feelings grew bigger.

He liked Smoker, it wasn't a lie. He had feelings that exceeded the sexual plane, but he wasn't sure that they could evolve until he felt in love with this man. Perhaps, if some _issues_ hadn't reappeared in his life, he could have fallen in love with Smoker.

Could he have formed a good relationship with that man? Probably. Was he something like Luffy's stepfather? That sounded strange to him, although his boy would surely keep _calling_ him _Kemuri for_ the rest of his life. Still, he didn't want to force Smoker through something like that without being sure he could give himself over to him completely. Apparently the policeman noticed it too.

Smoker reached out a hand and stroked his hair and his face. That touch was so soft that Ace couldn't help but sigh. He always liked the way he carefully touched him.

"You are young," Smoker said. "You have to live your experiences and not be afraid to do it, Ace."

He bit his lips upon hearing that. Isn't Smoker supposed to be upset or complaining about him for not putting effort into his relationship or having one at all? He couldn't understand it. His heart pounded with guilt and admiration for him.

"I'm really sorry." His own hand placed over Smoker's and he smiled at him. "Being with you is... amazing and I had a great time, you have no idea how difficult it was to go out with someone again, but I never thought it would be like that."

His relationship with Smoker helped him regain confidence in himself, about his appearance and the way he showed himself. Ace never imagined, while doing his treatment and therapy, what it would be like to date, to have sex or a partner. He saw it as something impossible and completely distant, as if those things were gone when Sabo disappeared from his life. However, when he started dating Smoker he realized that it was not.

Ace could have other relationships, he could even have sex with whoever he liked or fall in love again. Even so, the flaming burns inside his body were strong and oozing, preventing him from ever forgetting the person who did them. His body asked for him, he wanted him, and his heart longed to relive that moment where the rubber castle fell on his head.

How was he going to have a relationship and fall in love if he couldn't stop thinking about him?

Yes, he would have lived well with Smoker or someone else, but Sabo was the one who marked him deeply and every inch of his body refused to forget him. It was frustrating but also beautiful, so beautiful it hurt.

"You're young too," Ace added, smiling at Smoker. "I'm sure you can get along with someone with less problems."

He tried to laugh at his joke, but Smoker just denied and walked over to him. Ace closed his eyes and enjoyed that kiss that tasted as a goodbye. He felt a knot in his chest when he realized that and he clenched his hands barely apart. He didn't want to take him out of his life, but he also had to understand that it was unhealthy to force him to stay and that they had to go their own way.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Today he didn't have classes at the university, but he had to go to finish some paperwork. He had lacked documentation when he entered and now it was time to deliver it. Apparently it was necessary to carry out medical examinations, vaccinations and other tests that had already been done. It was a bit weird, but he had to do it like everyone else to complete his university file.

After his talk with Smoker, he was stunned, but not as stunned as he expected. It hurt to have to stop seeing him, but he understood that it was the best for both of them. However, should he tell Luffy? His boy considered Smoker his friend, so he didn't know what he would think if he suddenly stopped seeing him. Even so, Luffy was five years old and had a very volatile mind, maybe it wasn't necessary.

He went with his son to university and Luffy was amazed at the new buildings, as if it were an adventure. Ace had to make sure that the boy didn't slip away as he headed to the administration office with him. Perhaps it was not a good idea to take him there, he couldn't be calm.

"Luffy, stay close," he scolded his son, and he looked at him with a pout.

"But I'm looking for an adventure!"

He smiled when he heard it. His boy was too fussy, but at least he let him hand over his income documentation. Ace told him that they would go eat something nice later and that was enough for Luffy not to detach from him.

When they left the building, he passed one of his friends. Izo smiled at the sight and greeted him. He didn't remember that he had classes at that time, but apparently he had just left.

"He's Luffy," he introduced his son and he greeted very happily.

"Hello, Luffy," he greeted the boy with a smile. "Ace told me that you recently had a birthday."

"Yes!" He assured very happily. "I turned five!"

Luffy raised the fingers of his hand, but raised only four out of habit, although instantly the boy himself noticed that there was something wrong. He looked at his hand and then raised his fifth finger to illustrate how old he was. Both Ace and Izo laughed and patted his son's head. In the kindergarten they had taught him to count quite well.

"Oh Ace," Izo said suddenly. "I didn't tell you what happened."

Those words caught his attention and he blinked waiting for Izo to speak.

"My sister is going to see your therapist," he continued causing Ace to look at him in surprise. "In the end she spoke to his dad and he seemed to understand. You don't know how that old man cried hugging Kiku. I even took a photo."

With curiosity he approached to look at the cell phone when Izo showed it to him and Luffy also stretched wanting to see, although he didn't understand what they were talking about. In the photo appeared Izo's sister and her father, Kin'emon, clinging to her crying inconsolably; but he could see a smile on the girl's face. She was pretty and physically similar to Izo. Ace smiled very happily when he knew that the situation was improving for her.

"That's great," he said. Bon-chan will help her a lot, but it's already a big step that her dad is trying hard to understand her.

"You have no idea," Izo sighed, putting his cell phone away. "My mother and I were also excited, at least that house will no longer be at war."

He imagined that the situation was very difficult for these parents, with other types of mentalities, but he was glad to know that they preferred the happiness of their daughter before imposing his conservative thoughts on her. After all, each person continually learned and renewed themselves. The human being was more mutable than Ace imagined and hearing that little news gave him great hope in humanity.

"Dad, I'm hungry." Luffy caught his eye and gave him an impatient pout.

Ace sighed and said goodbye to Izo, who smiled at him and understood perfectly that they were leaving. He had to go back to attending to his obligations as a father.

He looked at the time thinking it was late. They had to go home. It was already dusk and soon it would be night. He took Luffy's hand and with the other he looked at his cell phone while they waited for the traffic light to change color so they could cross the street. He had some unread messages. Rosi didn't answer him if he wanted him to bring something before returning, but he guessed there were enough things for dinner. He also had a message from Sabo asking how he and Luffy were doing.

They both didn't talk about what happened at the birthday party. That kiss only confused them more, but Ace didn't know if he was ready to talk about it. He had nothing to say to him, because what Sabo was doing to him was frightening and explosive.

All the people with whom he had a certain level of _closeness_ generated different things, but this couldn't be compared to anything. The revolution within his being was indescribable. There were times when he thought that maybe they could become friends like before and get along just like in their childhood, but at other times they were attracted to each other in a dangerous way. He was afraid of not being able to control himself or knowing what might happen each time they saw each other. Everything was war, fire and explosions. He didn't know what to expect from what they had.

It was better to limit their talks and contacts, they should only talk about Luffy, at least until he knew he could handle that situation. Ace suspected that he would never be able to finish controlling what happened to him with Sabo.

Luffy released his hand after crossing the street but didn't walk away from him. Ace yawned feeling tired as he walked with his son. It was already cold, so he put him in some warm clothes and his boy didn't complain, although he was still able to keep on wearing his pirate hat.

They went by a shop that smelled too good. He could almost see Luffy drooling and Ace was also hungry at the smell. Takoyaki. The stall was small, but well set up. Ace looked at the window where a man could be seen making his takoyaki with great skill and thought it had been a long time since he had eaten something like that.

His son looked at him like a pleading puppy and Ace sighed.

"Dad, I want some, I want some!" The boy yelled, tugging at his hand.

He rolled his eyes and scratched his head. Good. They could eat a little, there was nothing wrong with it.

"Okay, let's go," he agreed with resignation and Luffy celebrated.

They approached the stall and there was no one, just a man ahead of them waiting for their order.

Maybe he should get a job soon, he didn't like living off the old men and Rosi. They told him that he couldn't work, study and also take care of Luffy. For the moment, they had proposed that he could do without working, but Ace wasn't convinced. Even so, he barely had time with all his classes, therapy, training and taking care of Luffy; rest wasn't included in the list. When could he work? He should consider it later.

His son approached looking at all the takoyaki with great emotion and drool descending from the corners of his mouth.

"Can we take some for Torao?" Luffy asked and Ace nodded. They could buy some to take home.

"Do you like takoyaki, little one?" Said the cashier with a smile.

"Yes," Luffy assured. "When I have my pirate ship, I will eat a lot!"

The man who was waiting for his request laughed upon hearing it and looked at Luffy. He was huge, with his white hair and a kind look behind a pair of glasses.

"How enthusiastic, boy," he said. "Are you an adventurer?"

"Of course, I'm the captain!" Luffy turned to see Ace. "Right, dad?"

"Of course," he replied, stroking his son's head.

Despite laughing, Ace felt that this man was looking at him in a strange way, although that always happened to him. Now it wasn't so common, but many times people observed him as if he was hiding some secret or if they were trying to discover what he had or what he was. That feeling was horrible, but it no longer bothered like in the past. He didn't care. That old man could think what he wanted.

The girl at the checkout asked him his order and Luffy yelled that he wanted the whole menu, but Ace asked what he needed to eat with his son and to take home. He also didn't have enough money to splurge on takoyaki.

From the corner of his eye he looked at that man who was still looking at him with his arms crossed and Ace began to feel uncomfortable by that cheeky analysis. People sometimes looked at him but never with such fixation. He tried to ignore him, although he wanted to tell him what the hell was wrong with him, but the cook interrupted them.

"Here you go, Ray-san," he said cheerfully. "Say hello to Shakky, tell her I'll come see her soon."

"Ah, yes, thank you Hatchan..." he answered a little distracted. For a moment he stopped watching Ace and he thought he would leave, but he didn't. "Hey, boy..."

"Yeah?" Ace asked, feeling jaded and alert to anything, like he was an annoyed cat ready to attack.

"Do you know a woman named Rouge?" He asked unexpectedly and Ace felt his blood run cold.

That was the name of his biological mother. Ace knew little, almost nothing really, about her. It was the first time he had heard that name from someone other than Garp. How was this happening?

"Why?" He said surprised and perhaps a little hostile.

"It may sound strange to you, but it was a friend who passed away a few years ago and... You are just like her."

How? What was that man referring to?

His heart pounded. His hands felt sweaty and shook. How could anyone know about his mother? Did he really look like her? Ace never saw a photo of her.

No. No. He couldn't get carried away by what a stranger was telling him. Still, it was highly suspicious. If he wasn't talking about his mother, how could he have connected him to a woman named Rouge? There were too many coincidences.

Nor did he know what to answer him. He thought of ignoring it, but a great curiosity welled up from the bottom of his being at this discovery. Everything about his parents was a mystery, who could blame him for wanting to know? Still, he remembered who his biological father was and pulled all that curiosity to the back of his mind.

What if he still had enemies who could search for him to find out where all the money Roger stole was? He could neither expose himself nor endanger Luffy for his selfish desires. He never needed anything from his parents, why would he want something now? Even so, that man's words continued in his head about being just like his mother. Ace knew what Roger looked like because he saw newspapers and his image as a wanted criminal, but he never knew more about her than her name and the sacrifice she made for him to be born.

"No... You're wrong," he answered bluntly and his words seemed to surprise the stranger.

He thought he would tell him something, but the store clerk called him.

"Your order is ready," the girl said and Luffy seemed very eager for the food.

Ace turned to pay. His hands were clumsy to grasp the money. He just wanted to get out of that place soon. He paid, took the bag and his son to get out of there. Luffy insisted that he wanted to eat now, but Ace told him no. He wanted to get away. He was afraid he had made a mistake by talking to this guy, but he hadn't said anything. He also didn't reply with his name or something like that. He had no way of contacting him or finding them. It would be alright.

Inadvertently, he stopped when someone called out to him behind his back. It was that guy and Ace didn't like him getting close again. He saw him run to where they were and immediately thought what he should do. Fight with him? Take Luffy and run? Ask for help? In that instant he felt scared, but his first instinct was to put his son behind his body. Luffy seemed to notice that something strange was happening because he clung to his clothes while looking curious.

The man caught up with them and wanted to speak to them.

"Wait, I want to talk to you about..."

"I already told you I don't know her!" He snapped annoyed. "Leave us alone."

"She had a daughter," he continued. "I never knew what happened to her, least of all after what happened to Roger."

Those words left him even more shocked. He was definitely talking about his parents and he didn't like that at all, it made him feel even more suspicious. He couldn't expose Luffy if he started fighting, maybe it would be best to take the boy in his arms and run.

"My intention is not to hurt you," the subject assured as if reading his mind. "I just want to tell you about them."

He didn't want to hear it. He also didn't seem hostile or deceptive when he spoke, but Ace couldn't trust him. He didn't know him and Luffy was there. How did he know that he was a person who wouldn't hurt them if he answered his questions?

"He doesn't sound like a bad old man," Luffy whispered and Ace looked at him puzzled. His son was too young to understand or know what this man was talking about.

Again he wanted to walk away when that guy approached, but he only handed him a piece of paper.

"That's my number," he said. "Whenever you want, we can talk about it. I have _something_ from them to give you."

Ace bit his lip and quickly grabbed that piece of paper to leave. He lifted Luffy in his arms to leave. He didn't run, but he did walk fast, although that man didn't follow him and had enough time to calm down.

He didn't look at that phone number until he got home, nor did he feel ready to tell anyone what happened. Should he do something? After Luffy stopped bothering him with the takoyaki, he would think about it.


	36. Chapter 36

The shouts of the pack of wild children stunned him, but not enough to make him want to run away. It was to be expected that this place was like this. Rosinante thought it would be a good idea to take the kids to McDonald's, but many parents had had the same idea and the place was packed. Fortunately, they got a table with a good view of the  playground that Luffy terrorized while Law prevented his wild cousin from destroying the place or himself. They would be fine, Ace wasn’t really worried.

The children had finished eating and went to the playground. Ace stole some nuggets that Law left behind and didn't feel guilty. He still had fries that he was enjoying while chatting with Rosi.

After the strange encounter he had with that guy, Ace had been quite mobilized. Garp and Sengoku knew well who Silvers Rayleigh was, Gold Roger's henchman and best friend. So the guy didn't lie when he said that to him. Even so, he was still a wanted criminal and the old men thought he should be behind bars, but Ace ignored them. He didn't care about that fact, but that guy told him that he had something from his parents to give him. Garp had no idea what he was talking about and told him not to mess with the  _ Dark King _ .

He saved the phone number and even entered it on his phone so he could dispose of the paper. He wanted to know what this guy was talking about, but wasn't really sure if it was worth it, either.

He wasn’t interested in learning about his father. He knew enough. It was just a guy who stole and lived as he wanted, abandoning his wife and son in the process. Why should he be interested in a person who let his mother die? Ace wasn’t interested in hearing about Gold Roger. He didn't even have his last name, nor did he deserve to be thought of as a father. That man never represented that to him and Ace strived every day to be a good father to Luffy, unlike his.

Although, if Ace was to be honest, Garp hadn't been an overly present father figure either. Perhaps Dadan was the closest thing to a father and mother. Yes, definitely. He should call her soon to see how she was doing.

He waited while Rosinante finished talking to someone at work on the phone and sighed to drink some water. Who asks for water at a McDonald's? Rosi was weird.

"They won't leave you alone," he commented with a smile.

"Whenever a new collection is about to be launched at a show, the days are just as overwhelming," Corazón replied, and Ace nodded but made a thoughtful face.

"Is it just that or are you mad at Mingo?"

He didn't like to bother Rosi with questions, but he also wanted to help him. His brother was a strange and complicated person, he was always afraid that Rosi would end up hurting himself in that dark and stormy relationship.

Ace had no idea what Doflamingo's celebrity life was like, but reading news on the Internet he spotted one where that man seemed involved in some scandal. Apparently they found him at some illicit party, but it didn't have many details either. That was his life, right? Famous people always seemed to be surrounded by luxuries, exaggerated ornaments, extreme excesses, and outrageous scandals.

Still, he knew that all of this affected Rosi. He could see the sad grin on his face.

"A little bit of both," he said dejectedly. “It seems that he loses his head every time there is something important to do, especially because of those people he is always with.”

"It's like being the brother of Paris Hilton or Britney," Ace mused as he thought of the intense person Doflamingo was, always haunted by the press, "but he seems to listen to you."

"Not always, sometimes it seems like he doesn't really care what I say."

"And you haven't thought... to distance yourself?"

He was a little scared to say that and hesitated. He felt that Rosi was in a very complex limbo. It was a vicious cycle where he always repeated the same game with Doflamingo. That couldn't be a good thing for his sanity.

"Yes," he sighed. “I've thought about it, but... getting away from someone important is not that easy. In the end we end up accepting everything from the people we love.”

"Not if that means you get hurt," Ace said annoyed and winced when he realized what he said. “I'm sorry, Rosi… I just don't want the Mingo to harm you, I'll kill him if he does.”

His comment drew a small laugh from Rosinante and he felt happy at that gesture. At least he had managed to remove those sorrowful looks from his face.

"I'll do the same with Sabo," Rosi warned, and the mention of that name surprised him. “Come on, Ace. Don't try to hide it, I saw you on Luffy's birthday.”

"You didn't see anything!"

"Sure, you were just looking at the deflated castle from the inside, very interesting."

A growl came from Ace's clenched lips at that irony. Yes, he already knew that Rosi noticed, but he was still ashamed to be reminded of that moment.

"Nothing is going on with Sabo," he clarified.

"Are you kidding me? You two can't stop looking at each other every time you're in the same room together.”

How? They were doing what? That statement shocked him. Did the two of them really do that? He hadn't noticed it and hearing it only made his face turn red.

"Even so, we are nothing."

"And what is preventing you from being something?" Rosinante crossed his arms and looked at him expectantly.

Ace didn't have a clear answer to that question. He didn't know what was keeping him from calling Sabo right now and telling him that he wanted to be with him. Maybe because he didn't feel ready. His head was still a mess and he couldn't decide if he was seriously prepared to face this relationship. They had something very nice in their teens, but Ace wasn't sure it was going to be the same. What if things went wrong?

Also, there was Luffy in the middle. It was already a lot for the boy to become fond of Smoker, but things went wrong. Ace wasn’t ready to get him excited about the possibility of his two dads being ‘together’ so that then everything would end up in a mess.

"I don't have the head to think about that," he confessed. “Also with that guy who showed up… I don't know what to do with that yet.”

"Are you planning on calling him?"

"I don't know..."

"I can accompany you if you don't want to go alone," Rosi offered. “I'll stay close while you chat with him if you prefer.”

He spent a while thinking about that option. It was not a bad idea. If Rosinante was there, he felt a bit more safe thinking about talking to Rayleigh and even more about the topic they were going to share.

If he was really some kind of psycho killer, Ace preferred to see him in a place where there were witnesses, although perhaps he had seen too many movies and was somewhat paranoid. He accepted Rosi's advice and contacted Rayleigh. Ace preferred to text him because he didn't feel like talking to him. He just wrote reminding him who he was and that he had free time to talk if he wanted. After sending the message, Ace put his phone aside as if it had shocked him and took a deep breath. He wanted to know what that old man had to say to him, but he was stressed out having to go through that situation.

Luffy returned from the  playground with Law following him. The boy threw himself on top of his dad to sit on his lap while laughing. Luffy had the mystical ability to make him forget all problems in an instant.

"Dad, I climbed the slide by myself!" Luffy assured completely proud. Climb? Weren't the slides for sliding? He didn't plan to question it. “I want ice cream.”

"Luffy, you just ate."

"Ice cream~!"

"Fine... but not here, we can eat somewhere else," he agreed because he also wanted to eat ice cream. “Do you want one too, Law?”

The boy seemed to think so. He sat next to Corazon after returning from the playground and nodded to answer Ace.

"I want chocolate."

"Me too, I want one just like my Torao!"

“I’m not yours.”

“Yes, you're!” Luffy pouted angrily and looked at Rosinante demandingly. “Uncle, tell him he's my Torao.”

Rosi smiled nervously. The kids always had these kinds of fights and Luffy threw a lot of tantrums to get everyone's attention, that included his cousin. The possessive dwarf believed that everything belonged to him, even some people, like all of them for example.

"Why don't you want to, Law?" He asked his son and he crossed his arms. Rosi smiled seeing him embarrassed.

"Because… no." Law tried to ignore Luffy's huge, almost watery eyes but it was impossible. He didn't want me to make a fuss there. He sighed wearily. “Agh, okay.”

“Yes, my Torao~”

Luffy celebrated very happily and Ace looked at him as if he were some kind of little demon bouncing on his legs happy to see his evil done. Well, it wasn't that bad. It was just children playing and Luffy was very spoiled by everyone. When he grew up he would change and maybe leave Law alone. At least they got along and their arguments were silly, but there was always a lot of affection between the two. It would be worse if it were the opposite and both children mistreated each other to the point of having to separate them like wild animals.

He stroked his baby's hair as he decided what other ice cream flavors he wanted and received a message. Ace saw that it was Rayleigh. The man told him that they could see each other today and that made him panic a little.

He couldn’t go to that meeting with Rosi and the children, but he didn’t know if he would have that same drive again to want to face him. He answered yes.

They decided to meet in a coffee shop. In front there was a park where Rosi would stay with the children and would be on the lookout if Ace needed him. That was enough, he didn't need him to be by his side. A lot had changed from those times when he accompanied him to his medical consultations and held his hair while he vomited or was destroyed in tears because he was going to have a baby. All of that was in the past. Now, he had to face another part of his story that he never had a chance to tear apart.

People in general want to know their origins, where they come from or who their ancestors were. Ace didn't need any of that, although maybe he thought he didn't need it because his father was a jerk and had almost no information about his mom. What other option was left to him besides resigning himself to not knowing anything? Now Rayleigh offered him possibilities to explore and that frightened him. Still, he wanted to know.

That was his history and also Luffy's, because he was his son. As much as he may not have met those people or been raised by them, they were somehow connected to him and Luffy.

He waited at a table near the window, there he could see directly the park where people were waiting for him, and he ordered a tea. He had no stomach after eating so much junk. He looked at his phone until someone spoke to him.

"Glad you came," Rayleigh said when he saw him and sat across from him.

"Yeah, well…" Ace began, not knowing how to start that conversation. “I guess I wanted to know what you wanted to tell me about my... parents.”

Rayleigh looked thoughtful for a moment and Ace thought that maybe they shouldn't have had this encounter. He felt awkward and out of place. Maybe it would have been better to have that conversation on the phone? He wasn’t a coward looking to run away, but at that moment he was very upset by the situation.

"You know," Rayleigh finally spoke. He had a gentle voice, like a wise old man who tells stories that calm even the most feared beast, “when Roger died I knew he had a child with Rouge, but I never knew where you were. She passed away and you disappeared, but they assured me that you were a girl and…”

"Yes, yes, I imagine," Ace cut him off instantly. He didn't want to hear that. “It's complicated but… I chose this.”

He wasn't going to explain to that guy all the problems he had accepting himself as he really was or the things that happened. If he wanted to understand it well and if not he didn’t care either. They were there to talk about something else.

"In that case I looked for you under the wrong name," Rayleigh mused, putting a hand on his chin. “That explains why it was so difficult to find you.”

"Because of that and because Garp took care of hiding me," Ace clarified and seemed to surprise that man. If he wasn't listed anywhere, it was because Garp took it upon himself to steer him away from his ties to Roger. “I have lived with him for a few years.”

“I see.”

He drank his tea and Rayleigh ordered coffee. He seemed like one of those gentlemen who better enjoyed conversations with whiskey or rum, but it wasn’t the time for that, nor were they friends or something similar to share those kinds of drinks. This was serious.

"You're about twenty years old now, right?" He asked and Ace nodded. “I was more or less your age when I met Roger. You remind me of him, although your face is definitely your mother's.”

That again. Did Ace really look like her? He was very curious to think about it.

Rayleigh had carried a rather large envelope with him that he hardly noticed. Ace watched him carefully while he was looking for something there and handed him a piece of paper, it was a photo. His eyes widened at the sight of it. It was old and somewhat worn, but it was perfectly distinguishable. There were several people, it seemed to be a party because of the decoration of the place and the movement that was glimpsed in the background. Still, Ace noticed the woman with the light hair and the man with the mustache accompanying her. Rayleigh was next to him, though younger and with colored hair and beard.

He focused on the people who most caught his attention. He looked happy and laughing. She was beautiful. Her eyes, freckles, everything; Ace recognized himself there and it was very strange. For an instant he wondered if he'd looked like Rouge had he decided to be  _ cisgender _ , but it was pretty silly to think about that. Ace was a different person from his mother. Although his hair was like Roger's. So he owed him that bird's nest in his head? What a surprise.

Rayleigh told him a little about the context of the photo, about the people who were there, and he made a picture in his head that Ace never thought he could imagine. They seemed like pretty normal people, but the story inevitably darkened.

According to this guy, Roger was something  _ peculiar _ . He formed a strong business and many enemies. He lived as he wanted and did whatever his wishes guided him. For some reason, while listening, Ace didn't feel bothered to hear it. It was like listening to a story, something fictional, and not the story of a person as close to him as his biological father. It was because of him that he had that life where he had to hide in the middle of nowhere without his mother. Despite that and all the problems that followed, Ace didn’t curse the life he had. It also had many good things. So he wasn't mad at Roger, at least not like before.

"The boy who was with you the other day," Rayleigh mentioned, "is he your son?"

He thought of Luffy immediately and his gaze slid for a second to the park in front. He couldn't see him but he knew he was there having a good time with Rosi and Law. Ace smiled at the thought of him.

"Yes, he is," he replied. “I was very young when he was born, but it turned out quite well.”

In reality, everything was very difficult and each day represented a new obstacle to cross. Still, the moments of happiness he got were enough encouragement to keep him going.

"He really reminds me of Roger," the old man commented with a smile. “He has the same enthusiasm.”

He wasn't sure if his son could have something similar to Roger without having met him, but he wouldn't rule it out either. Luffy had a lot of energy and lived everything with a frenzy that was difficult to explain. Many times he felt like he couldn't keep up with his intense child, but he managed it somehow. Had Roger really been like that? He still didn't believe that enthusiasm could be inherited. Personality traits were something you created, not inherited through blood ties, although he didn't have much idea about that. Anyway, it was crazy.

What if it was a reincarnation? Ace should stop seeing those clones, kidnappings and paranormal events theories on the internet before going to bed, they were already affecting him.

He also told the old man a little about himself. About what he did with his life, what he studied and the things he liked. Not too much, just some little nonsense. It was quite a strange moment and Ace still didn't know how to finish cataloging it. Talking to that man was like talking to a part of Roger that was still alive or so it seemed. This conversation would be the closest he got to talking to his biological father and it felt too weird. He didn't need it, but he admitted that it was a bit interesting to him. He found himself listening intently to every word that guy said to him.

When he thought it would be enough, Rayleigh told him that there was still something else he wanted to talk to him about.

"Everyone cares about the money Roger left behind," he said in a very light way and Ace looked at him in surprise when he saw him take out some papers that seemed old, but could be read clearly. “The truth is that it no longer exists, but your mother left this to you.”

He didn’t understand at first what he meant with ‘this’ and looked at the papers carefully. He was silent for several moments while he read and did it again several times because he couldn't believe that was what he thought.

The deeds of a house.

"It was from Rouge," Rayleigh explained as Ace didn't come out of his astonishment. “You were even born there, so it's yours.”

It seemed crazy to him. Was that house really a gift from his mother'? That old man kept the scriptures so long to give them to him? It was too unreal. Why would you want to give up property like this? Ace was impressed by the loyalty he showed to his friends, but felt he couldn't accept it.

"I didn't… met her," he said, putting the papers on the table and holding them up to Rayleigh. “Besides, she sure thought of leaving it to her  _ daughter  _ and not to  _ me _ .”

It hurt to think about that. He couldn’t imagine telling Rouge or Roger about the decision he made about his identity. Many trans people —like Izo's sister— had to live the trauma or the complex situation of communicating to their family, their parents, what was happening to them. In Ace's case it was never like that. There was no ‘coming out’ about his gender identity or sexuality, as happened to other people. He never felt the fear that his parents would judge him because he was always alone and the few that he had around him didn’t recriminate his decisions. However, he couldn’t say that his situation was better. He had many things against him when it came to living as he really was. Still, he might care about his parents' opinion if they were alive.

Maybe it would be an embarrassment to them or not. He was unable to verify it. What would they think about his decisions? About Luffy? About Sabo? He would never have an answer to his questions, but Rayleigh's warm gaze gave him an idea of what to expect.

That man gave him a sympathetic smile and handed him the papers again.

"It's yours," he assured again. “You are his son and I assure you that he would love you in the same way.”

Rayleigh couldn't confirm his words either, but spoke with a certainty that Ace couldn’t disprove. He looked once more at those papers and thought what he could do with a house, he had no idea even how to read that document to understand it better. He also gave him some keys and explained how to get there. He said no one lived there, but he used to visit it from time to time. Now would it be his turn? It was too soon to think about that.

He kept those papers and left the coffee shop after saying goodbye to that man. He returned with his son who was having fun on the seesaw with Law. He clutched the envelope Rayleigh had left him in his hands and thought that perhaps later he could take a good look at it to make a decision on that.


	37. Chapter 37

After hearing the alarm sound, Ace looked at the thermometer and found it read over 38°C. His son had a fever, but that was normal for chickenpox. He had no idea how the contagion happened. First it was Law who contracted the disease and soon after Luffy. The child got into his cousin's bed continuously, it was almost impossible for it not to spread. Even so, the doctor assured that in a few days they would be better. The problem lay in preventing Luffy from scratching himself.

Law tried to hold out, but the youngest was a savage. Ace told him that he would have a lot of marks left if he scratched himself, but Luffy ignored him. So he decided to tie oven mitts to his hands to prevent that hellish rash from breaking out. They both had huge welts, fever and fatigue on their bodies.

They didn’t go to school and had to tell the reason why they would be absent. Law's teacher said that she would send homework while Luffy just got depressed that he couldn't see his friends. He had already imagined the chickenpox epidemic it could unleash, although it was a fairly common disease and all children had it. Ace was about Luffy's age when it happened, but he remembered very little of it.

They tried to pamper them so they would forget their discomfort, at least for a little while. The children settled into Law's bed together and brought a television there so they could watch cartoons or movies while they recovered. Corazón made onigiris for both of them. Luffy didn’t lose his appetite despite the illness. When he mentioned this to Ivan, he heard him laugh over the phone and assured him that no sick person who eats dies, so the children would survive.

Ace left the kids with a show of a cartoon dog that Luffy loved and went to make soup for them. It was already lunchtime and he wanted to give them something to fill their bellies before taking the medicine. It wasn't too high a fever, but he was worried it might rise higher. Law was already improving, but Luffy was still very fussy and cried all the time because his bumps were itching. He put some creams on it to ease the burning and discomfort, but that only worked for a little while. He was hoping this would be over soon.

The house doorbell rang and Ace instantly imagined who it might be. When he opened the door, he smiled when he saw Sabo on the other side.

"I brought the things you asked for," he mentioned with a pharmacy bag in hand. He asked him to buy more ointment for the itch because it was running out.

"Thank you," he replied. “The sick one is watching television and I was heating him some soup, would you like some?”

"No, I'm fine," he said, handing Ace his purchase. “Ehm… do you need help?”

"No, I can do it on my own, do you want to go to the room? He will be glad to see you.”

Sabo smiled at him and went to the room where the noise from the television was coming from. That moment was quite _domestic_. He never imagined he might have something like this with Sabo when he found him again, but he was glad to know that they could get along. Furthermore, he cared for Luffy and they had formed a close relationship. He heard his son shouting when Sabo entered the room and smiled. One could get used to living like this.

The old men were not there and Rosi was at work. So it would just be them and the kids for a bit. It didn't bother him, he had already overcome the anxiety of sharing a space with Sabo, although sometimes he got a little nervous when they stared at each other but that was due to _other things_. Ace still had many unresolved issues, but he had to take care of his sick son first.

He placed two bowls of soup on a tray and went into the room. Sabo chatted with the children and changed their cold water washcloths, which Ace was doing before going to the kitchen.

Luffy celebrated by raising his gloved hands when he saw the food. It was then that he could take them off, but as soon as Ace saw him scratch, he had to use them again.

"It seems that someone is a little better," Ace said, laughing, but the reality was that they still had a few days to heal.

Luffy demanded his food and Ace told him to wait. He put the tray on the table to feed the children. Sabo helped him and the little sick ones were able to eat. The soup wasn't too hot, so Luffy gulped it down like juice and Law ate much more slowly. He also brought some onigiris to make the food more interesting and then he would give the children medicine.

Ace touched their foreheads and smiled when he noticed that there was no longer such a fever. They even seemed more animated. Luffy energetically explained things to Sabo.

"So Torao got sick," he said. “Then it started to itch me, but Dad won't let me scratch it.”

Sabo laughed when he saw the boy's pout. Those days were torture. Hopefully that disease will end soon. Some of the welts were already drying, but there were still several perfectly alive and reddened.

"That’s good, that way you won't have any marks," Sabo said and patted the boy's head.

"Uncle let me be in Torao's bed so he doesn't get bored." Luffy hugged his cousin and he breathed a stifled sigh.

"I think it was so you don't get bored," Law replied and the other boy laughed.

"Torao is always cold at night," he explained to Sabo. “But now that I sleep with him he has no more cold or ugly dreams, can I always sleep with Torao, dad?”

He didn't hold back the laugh that his son's question provoked in him. He knew he loved Law very much, but the other boy didn't seem too happy. Still, he didn't complain when Luffy crawled into his bed or hugged him without asking for permission. He might just be ashamed of so many displays of affection, but that's how Luffy was. That dwarf did what he wanted and kept thinking that he could fix everything with hugs, although Ace hoped that would never change for him.

"No, Luffy," he replied. “Torao… I mean, Law has his room and you have yours, you can't always sleep together.”

Sometimes, inadvertently, he was confused by the nicknames his son made up. Law didn’t like that other people called him Torao except for Luffy, he got angry when his friends from school said that to annoy him and in the house sometimes they got confused. Luffy had a strong voice and spoke very clearly, enough to pierce the heads of everyone in his home and impose his way of speaking. Ace even called Doflamingo ‘Mingo’, like Luffy did, but that was because he found it funny.

"But he has nightmares, I have to protect him!"

"I don't have nightmares!" Law defended himself. Luffy always said things that embarrassed him.

“Don't worry, Torao. I take care of you.” He smiled confidently and looked back at Sabo. “When we grow up we will get married.”

Law covered his face red with embarrassment and Ace bit his lip to keep from laughing. Poor kid, Luffy loved him too much.

“Oh yeah?” Sabo said surprised and glanced at Ace, who just shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say to him.

“And we will live in the little house that Mingo brought.”

Luffy's sentence seemed final. Sometimes the children would waste hours playing in that house set up in the garden. Ace kept thinking it was an exaggerated gift, but the kids liked it. Perhaps they could let them camp there when the summer was more present and the nights were pleasant to be out in the open.

“I don't want to live there,” Law argued, crossing his arms. “It’s very small.”

“But it's our house.” Luffy pouted sadly at his cousin. “And it has a slide!”

His son's arguments were quite valid. The children were left to rest. One good thing about Luffy was that he didn't have a hard time sleeping, unlike Law. However, the illness left them very tired and they managed to fall asleep, enjoying a little nap in the afternoon. Luffy clung to his cousin like a tick and Ace closed the curtains so the light wouldn't bother them.

He carried the lunch plates along with Sabo and wondered if Sabo would leave now that he had seen Luffy, he wouldn't mind if he wanted to stay.

They hadn't really had moments alone, just the two of them, but Ace didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. He kind of yearned to share more space with him alone, but he also knew that maybe that meant talking about them and what happened on Luffy's birthday. He still didn't know if he wanted to do it or what he really wanted from him. He wasn't even sure what Sabo was up to.

He remembered when he told him that he wanted to be with him, just before he told him that Luffy was his son. That seemed so far away that Ace thought he should have forgotten his words by now. Sabo said that without knowing the truth, now he probably thought something very different, but then why did they kiss? Maybe it was just the heat of the moment and the attraction they still had. He couldn't deny that this existed, otherwise they would never have slept together and would not be looking at each other so much every time they were in the same space, as Rosinante told him.

Would everyone notice that? So embarrassing. Maybe those were just Rosi's ideas, because Ace didn't feel observed by Sabo. Well, maybe right now, but it was because the two of them were alone and he hoped that wasn't a problem.

He washed the dishes while chatting with Sabo. Luckily, the comfort of talking to him had been something they regained. His body no longer —almost— didn’t feel tense to be by his side while they chatted.

"You've been busy," he said, setting the dishes aside to dry. “Do you want to drink something?”

Sabo agreed and they stole some of Luffy’s orange juice.

“How about you?” He inquired. “We have hardly spoken lately.”

"We don't have to, either," Ace snapped without realizing that he might have spoken in a bad way, but Sabo didn't bother. “I'm sorry, it's just... I ran into someone who left me a bit _stunned_.”

He didn't feel it was wrong to tell him that, because he was one of the few people who knew who his biological parents were. He could feel the intrigue in Sabo's eyes and Ace sighed in resignation.

"Do you remember when I told you about my parents?" He asked just in case, because it had been a long time ago and maybe Sabo didn't remember it, but Sabo nodded very confidently, so he continued. “Well... I ran into _someone they_ knew.”

He explained more or less what his meeting with Rayleigh was like, the things he told him and all those papers he gave him. Sabo heard him and was very surprised. He had no real reason to be telling him this, he just wanted to vent to someone. He told Rosi and the old men too, but they worried about his safety and were afraid that something would happen to him. Ace still didn't know how to feel about that ‘inheritance’ he just discovered or what to do with it. It didn’t seem right to him to leave that matter forgotten, but he did not know if he should go or what to do.

"It's great, Ace," Sabo commented, and his words seemed to contain genuine happiness. “Will you go see it?”

"I don't know… It's a long way off," he replied. “I'm not feeling in a lot of spirits lately.”

"If you want, I can accompany you," Sabo offered, and instantly seemed to regret it, as if he had said something wrong. “I mean... I can go too, so you don't have to do it alone, but it's okay if you prefer not to go.”

That proposition was a surprise and Ace smiled at him. Sabo's presence would perhaps remind him of where he was standing and what the important things were while he toured that place that was part of his history. He accepted that idea and thought that it might be something helpful.

**.**

**.**

**.**

The journey was longer than he expected. The house was located on the outskirts of the city where the buildings ceased to exist and the houses began to be less and less noticeable being replaced by fields and green pastures. To get there it was necessary to take a train and travel for a while. Sabo met him at the station and they spent a while trying to figure out which one to get on.

It had been several days since they decided to take that little trip. Luffy had recovered from his chicken pox and had no marks on his body. Now he was going back to kindergarten and today he went with Rosi to Bellemere's house to play with her daughters. Ace decided to take advantage of that day off to be able to check his mother's house.

They got seats, not many people were traveling at that time, so they were able to travel comfortably. Sabo took out headphones and offered to listen to music on his cell phone. He was kinda glad to accept his company, because having to make that trip alone would be very boring.

The time on the train passed very quickly as they listened to songs and Ace looked at the playlists Sabo had. They were varied and also had many podcasts with interesting names. He wrote down some to listen to later when he was alone.

When they got to their station, they started walking towards where the house was supposed to be.

"It reminds me of where we lived," Sabo commented, looking around.

The sparsely populated neighborhood also gave it a familiar air. It was strange walking together through a place that brought back childhood memories.

"Yes, a little," he replied. “Although the houses are much larger, I don't think Dadan would like to live here.”

Sabo laughed at his comment and they mentioned some anecdotes of when they did mischief that annoyed that woman. She yelled at them a lot but she also had incredible patience to deal with two children as fussy as they were. Ace complained a lot about Luffy, but when he was little he also caused a lot of trouble and worse.

They reached the appropriate address or so Ace thought. According to the internet map, there it was and he swallowed hard. The grass was not too long and on the outside it looked pretty good. Perhaps Rayleigh had been taking care of it all this time, although he could tell it was an old house, but it also seemed very large to the naked eye.

He reached into his pocket for the keys and they fit perfectly in the lock. Well, at least it was the place and they weren't wrong, Ace didn't want to be embarrassed by mistakenly entering the house of strangers.

Opening the door, they found a large dark hall. The smell of earth and confinement attacked them. It’s been many years since someone had lived there, but the place wasn’t runned down. They opened the windows to let in the sun and air. It was a large house, it had several rooms and a few pieces of furniture covered by sheets. It seemed like a lot of things had been left there during all that time.

It reminded him of those country houses from the cowboy novels he watched with Dadan on television, but smaller. He went through the rooms and Sabo also did it with him. He was surprised to find clothes in closets, boxes of things and even silverware in cupboards. In one of the rooms he found several dresses, some torn by time and others intact.

He searched the boxes. He found books, photos, and a few more things. He dusted the chairs and table in the living room so he could settle there to check all those things.

Sabo appeared to sit next to him and look at what he found.

"It's your mom," he said and Ace was surprised because he guessed it. “You look just like her.”

"Kinda, I guess." He shrugged, looking at the photos.

Rouge always looked smiling and serene, he would have liked to meet her or be able to hear her voice. Seeing her in those images made him experience a close feeling, as if that person was already installed in his memories, but perhaps it was because they had a similar face and he was reflected in it. Even so, he felt that this person from the past was alien to him, his life and his development. Still, he wanted to keep watching.

"She's beautiful too," Sabo commented and glanced at Ace. Was he indirectly saying that he was beautiful? “I think... you don't look much like your dad.”

"He had the face of a crazy drunk old man," Ace said, handing him a photo of Roger.

"Sounds like one of those funny drunks."

Well actually he always looked laughing and Rouge seemed happy next to him. That’s weird. He always thought Roger was a selfish guy who dumped her, but they looked pretty close in those pictures. Nor could he be sure what their relationship was like from some photos, it would be a very superficial analysis, but he had no more evidence.

He thought about taking some of those photos. He didn't think he was going to keep the things there, although he wasn't even sure what he would do with that place. Now that he had seen it and knew it was real, he should start thinking about it. That house had been part of his mother's life, her refuge where Ace was born and where she lived her last moments. However, his own life was not within those walls. No matter how much it started there, he could not imagine living in that place.

Maybe he could show Luffy what his _grandmother_ looked like and tell him a little more about those people who were part of his family tree in some way. Possibly the best thing would be to wait until the boy was older to tell him about how Gold Roger, a famous criminal, was his biological grandfather. Luffy talked a lot and he didn't want that detail to be out there, it was supposed to be a secret, although quite a few years had passed since the death of that man.

He saved a couple of photos and left the rest where he found them. Perhaps it was not correct to be looking at that place with a history foreign to him, his person and his knowledge. That was where he was born and his mother named him that way that he didn't like, and she died thinking he was a girl. Ace felt like he shouldn't be there. What was left of Rouge in that place was not waiting for him, but for her daughter and he wanted to leave, but Sabo's hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing so.

That little touch was enough to keep him steady on his feet and he took a deep breath. It might not be what his mother expected, but it was what he decided to be. If he was happy, that was probably enough for Rouge.

"I think I want to go now," Ace said tiredly as the sun began to go down.

“Are you sure?”

"Yes, I think I've seen enough."

Sabo helped him close the windows and leave everything as it was when they entered. He wasn't sure when he would come again, but he would think about it. This was his mother's house, and now it was his? Yes, he supposed.

"Are you planning to do something with the house?" Sabo asked as Ace locked the door.

"I don't know yet," he answered, approaching him. “It is somewhat far from downtown and… it is not a place where I want to live.”

All his activities and his life took place very far from there. It was not a place where he could live and accomplish everything he wanted to do. Furthermore, he also didn't imagine living there alone with Luffy. The child would kill him if he took him so far away from his cousin, grandparents and Rosi. Even Ace didn't want to get away from them.

"You could sell it," Sabo suggested and Ace thought about it. It might be a good option, but at the moment he had no particular plan.

They walked back to the train station. Their steps were slow and lazy as they shared that journey in silence.

"Thank you for joining me, Sabo," he said with a smile. “It really would have been very _tiring to_ come alone.”

He was not only referring to physical exhaustion, but also emotional. He still felt stunned by everything he had seen, but with Sabo there he could distract himself and think about something other than those memories or the mixed feelings that having entered that place created in him.

"I'm glad you let me come."

Those words were comforting. Ace looked straight ahead as they walked and barely noticed their hands brushing as they walked. He didn't even notice the exact moment their fingers intertwined, but he didn't dare to let go of the warmth of that hand until they reached the train station.

They sat together, closer than when they came here, and went back to listening to music on the same headphones. Ace felt tired and yawned. At that moment, he didn’t care about his doubts or insecurities. He felt comfortable with Sabo, so much so that he dared to rest his head on his shoulder as he did when he was a child and was unexpectedly sleepy from narcolepsy.

Sabo said nothing, as if he hadn't felt the movement, and kept focused on looking out the window. That was fine, they didn't need to talk about it, at least right now.

"Ace," Sabo called out to him and had to force himself to open his eyes, he was already beginning to fall asleep. “Could we... go out again one of these days?”

He didn't understand what he was referring to exactly, but Ace guessed he was talking about a trip like this one where they went to a place or something. That was fine with him. His brain wasn't fully working at the time, so he forgot to panic at the real meaning of what was going on. He just thought that he felt very comfortable there and wanted to sleep.

"Yes," he answered as he settled his head better on Sabo's shoulder. “I'd love to…”

His voice almost came out as a whisper, but they were too close for him not to hear it. If Sabo answered him something, Ace didn't know because he instantly fell asleep and didn't wake up until they reached their destination.


	38. Chapter 38

"Where are you going?"

Ace thought it must be a joke. How is it possible that whenever he was about to go out with  _ someone _ his jealous son would throw tantrums? He was just dressing and drying his hair after showering when Luffy appeared offended in the doorway. The boy was frowning, arms crossed, and a reproachful look on his face.

"I have to go out, Luffy," he replied, putting the towel aside to comb his hair and he heard the boy complain.

“I want to go! Where are you going, dad?”

"How are you sure you want to go if you don't know where I'm going? Maybe it is a boring place.”

"No, because you look happy."

Those words surprised him. Did he really look happy? Maybe it was just Luffy's impression, but he was kinda excited.

Yes, he would meet Sabo as a… date? According to Rosi, it was a date. He didn't know if he could call it that. They were just going to see each other, period. Why should he qualify it as that? They already knew each other and a lot of things happened between the two of them, they even had a child, so he didn't think they had ‘dates’ like two strangers who were testing if they had chemistry together.

Still, he felt nervous. His throat was tight, so much so that sometimes he had to sigh because he felt like he was going to choke. It was just Sabo, he repeated to himself. He knew what he was like, the way he spoke and how he moved. He didn't have to feel this way, like he was about to date a boy he barely knew.

He looked at the time and realized he was a bit late. He reached for his coat and tried to ignore Luffy's whimpering as he followed him around.

"Come on, son," he sighed wearily, putting on his coat and bending down to lift Luffy into his arms, who seemed even more angry. “I promise I'll bring you some chocolate when I get back.”

That little bribe seemed to work, and he saw a twinkle in the boy's eyes. Ace smiled feeling triumphant.

"Alright…”

"You have to give me a kiss if you want your chocolate," he warned and Luffy continued with his pout, but approached him.

The small arms clung to his shoulders and he received a kiss on the cheek. He pressed his boy against him and gave him more kisses on the face until he heard him laugh happily. Luffy was easy to distract and quickly forgot his anger.

"I want a HUGE chocolate," the boy warned and stretched out his arms indicating the size of the chocolate he wanted.

"I don't know, it depends if you're good while I'm gone."

I'm always good!”

He knew that was a lie, but he didn't have time to argue with his son. He walked with Luffy in his arms to the kitchen. There was Rosi with the old men and Law. He felt the judging gazes of the elders, because they already knew everything. They were aware that his relationship with Smoker ended and that he would now go to meet Sabo. It was annoying to feel those looks over him, but they didn't make his choices.

"Dad won't take me, Grandpa!" Luffy complained and stretched out his arms for Sengoku to hold him.

"Let him go," Garp snapped, who seemed to be trying to teach Law to play cards. “We’ll have a better time here.”

"I can imagine," Ace sighed, rolling his eyes. “I'll be back soon.”

"Call us if anything happens," Rosinante mentioned. “And  **take good care** of yourself, Ace.”

He felt chills when he heard it. There was no need for such blatant double meanings, he already knew he shouldn't do  _ those things _ without protection. In addition, they would see each other in a shopping mall, so nothing like that would happen. They could do other things that had nothing to do with sex. It seemed like just because you are young you can’t have nothing on your mind other than that. So annoying.

He left his house with the sun following closely behind him. The afternoon was cool, there was barely a pleasant spring breeze. It might be cold later, but that didn't bother him.

He would have to remember to buy that chocolate for Luffy if he wanted him to let him into the house, but the boy usually forgave him easily enough. Even if he complained, that date was not something with a familiar tinge or so he thought. Sabo had sent him a message a few days ago saying that a superhero movie had been released that, apparently, had not had a bad review and seemed fun. That kind of filmic garbage were the guilty pleasures he liked to enjoy and he was aware that the same thing happened to Sabo. He asked if he wanted to go see it and Ace, after thinking about it a bit, accepted.

That movie was not for children and neither of them suggested going with Luffy. That meant they would be alone, at least that was what he believed. Maybe Sabo told him because he had no one else to go with, but after that train trip when they went to his mother's house, things between them were somewhat  _ shaken _ .

They had to talk. They could no longer go on like this, pretending that nothing was going on. They liked each other, that was undeniable. Still, what would they do with it? Ace was no longer so sure if he wanted to continue his ‘the only thing that binds us is Luffy’ stance, but he also didn't know if they could create  _ something else _ . He hoped that on this date, in this time alone of intimacy, they would be able to clarify some questions about their relationship.

When he arrived, he didn’t see Sabo anywhere and thought that perhaps he had arrived early. He was about to take out his cell phone until he felt someone grab him from behind and Ace was scared and took those arms with the intention of twisting them, but immediately released him when he heard groans of pain and recognized Sabo.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Ace said quickly. “It's your fault for wanting to scare me!”

"It was very tempting," he replied, stroking his arms and looking with an arched brow. “Shit, since when have you been so strong?”

"I've been doing karate for some time," he answered, not remembering if he'd told him before or not.

"That explains why you're so  _ buff, _ " Sabo mused and smiled at him. “In fact, you look good like this.”

He felt a bit embarrassed for that comment and rolled his eyes.

"Shut up," he sighed but still smiled.

They went in to go to the cinema. Sabo already had bought the tickets and didn’t accept Ace's money when he wanted to pay him, he said that the next time he could pay. Next? They should get through that first time before thinking about the next one, but he didn't think it would go wrong. It was Sabo after all who he was with, and he always had a good time with him.

He decided to buy a bucket of popcorn. A very big one because they both ate a lot. In fact, they were in line eating before entering the cinema. And he used to wonder where Luffy had gotten that oral anxiety about food... they were a couple of beasts.

There weren't many people in the cinema because the movie had been released a few weeks ago and would probably be removed from the bill soon. They were the only ones in their row, right in the middle and they could see the screen perfectly. He remembered with Sabo the times they ran away to enter the children's cinema. That space so small and runned down that only a few people could enter was nothing like that cinema where they were. The seats were large, comfortable, and Ace thought he could sleep there but would try not to. Although he knew that, if he was sleepy, neither that giant screen nor the loud sound could prevent him from falling asleep. Anyway, he didn't feel tired.

"You have something in your hair," Ace said, looking at a small piece of popcorn between the blonde locks. How did it get there?

Sabo shook his hair, but Ace reached out his hand so he could remove it and smoothed his wild hair back a bit. Heck, it was so soft and nice to touch. He ran his fingers along the shaved side of his head, the short hairs tickling the tips of his fingers.

"Your hair is already growing here," he commented thinking that maybe Sabo wouldn't mind him saying that or touching his hair, he didn't seem awkward, and Ace didn't want to walk away either.

“Yeah?” Sabo spoke distractedly watching him. “Do you think I should let it grow or cut it?”

"Mmm… I think you look good like that, you can see your piercings." His hand descended over his ear with the four earrings and he smiled as he touched them gently.

Was this okay? Maybe he was taking a lot of liberties by  _ touching him _ like that, but Sabo smiled at him. His hand reached for Ace's hair as well and pulled some black strands behind his ear.

"You also have some," he mentioned, brushing his ear. Yes, Ace had made those earrings several years ago, but he always forgot he had them. “You really look great.”

He bit his lip at the sound of it and felt him approach. His skin bristled like a nervous, alert cat, but he didn't move as he looked at him. He closed his eyes when Sabo's breath hit his skin and his body shuddered when he felt it again. It was almost like breathing again. His mouth opened in a silent gasp and his lips moved with abysmal slowness, as if he wanted to capture that moment in his mind so that he would never forget it.

Sabo's hand moved to the back of Ace's neck and he liked that feeling. Every inch of his body was too sensitive to him and every time he rediscovered it he was surprised at how weak he was for Sabo. At what point did he think that maybe this was a play date? He was in denial.

He also wanted this to happen from the start. As much as he knew him in various ways, he liked being with Sabo and thinking they were two people who hung out on silly dates. In that instant, he felt able to forget all the bad moments they shared.

The light from the screen made them break apart for a moment. They were running commercials and movie trailers, but they paid no attention to them. They just looked at each other in surprise at what just happened and, against all odds, laughed. They were definitely two idiots who didn’t know what was funny about that situation, although perhaps it was the hilarious moment of them kissing, as if it were the first, even though they already knew each other's mouth by heart. It was nice to pretend anyway.

They shared another one and then another. They didn't stop smiling as they gave each other small kisses and other deeper ones. Nobody saw or heard them with the darkness of the cinema and the noise of the commercials.

When the movie started they broke apart, but both felt their faces hot and a great euphoria inside. How strange was that feeling, so different from the one that accompanied him years ago when he was lost in a dark limbo that Ace could hardly believe he was experiencing something like that. He liked it and was afraid that it was an illusion or a lie, but Sabo held his hand reminding him, unconsciously, that this was real and they were  _ together _ .

They focused on watching the movie while their hands were still lazily intertwined and from time to time they moved their fingers to caress each other, just so their muscles wouldn't fall asleep, but the reality was that they didn't want to separate. They laughed and talked about things during those two hours. Ace didn't fall asleep at any time, he didn't know if it was because the movie was good and it kept him awake or because of Sabo's presence that filled him with adrenaline.

When they left the cinema, they continued walking without letting go. How silly they were. He remembered that they used to walk that way when they were younger, but what was wrong with it? If they wanted that, no one could stop them from doing it.

It was already getting dark when they came out. He should probably go home, but he didn't want to leave.

"Would you like to come home?" Sabo asked, apparently he didn't want to part yet. “We can do something else too…”

“No,” Ace answered confidently. “Let's go.”

How many possibilities were there for that to  _ happen?  _ Maybe he did have that thing in his head or maybe it was due to the chemistry he shared with Sabo. Somehow, he realized that they both wanted the exact same thing and he was not ashamed to follow his wishes. They wanted to be alone and quench those cravings that came from their pores.

The trip to the apartment was smooth and faster than he remembered. The last time he was there Ace was dying of nerves and anxiety, now he felt very relaxed. He had nothing to hide or a reason that led him to meet Sabo, but he was with him because it was what he wanted.

He felt Sabo’s hand slide down his back and squeeze his waist to draw him into his body. Ace thought it was too much, they were barely going up the elevator, but he understood Sabo's craving because he also wanted to touch and hug him.

"Ace…" Sabo murmured, leaning close to him and burying his face in his neck.

He gave him a soft kiss there and Ace gritted his teeth. His skin tingled, igniting from that little caress and his lips parted to sigh because he needed air. He could sense the desire, the  _ hunger _ , in Sabo and it made him bite his lip. The way he whispered his name only made him more impatient to get home soon.

As soon as they entered the apartment, he felt those hands fall on his body and Ace was no stranger to that feeling. His mouth hit Sabo's in a very different way than in the cinema, where they had given each other soft and sweet kisses, these were much more needy and intense.

Could they do that there? Were they alone? He couldn't think if Koala was in the house. Without realizing it, they arrived at Sabo's room. He only managed to remove his coat, which fell somewhere on the ground, and his body collapsed with Sabo's on top.

It had been some time since he had been there, since they had done it, and this time he allowed himself to sigh without guilt. His hands slid down Sabo's back wanting to undress him, because he wanted to see him again and appreciate him without that voice in his head repeating his mistakes. What was wrong with wanting to enjoy? As much as he may have had sex with other people, no one gave him such a wild craving as Sabo. He wanted to touch him and kiss him until he was satisfied with that hunger that didn’t leave him alone. The heat increased in his body and he wanted to undress too. He got rid of his clothes showing his torso to Sabo without any regret and his body arched when he felt kisses on his chest.

He saw him slide across his burning skin to remove his pants and other clothing. He let him do it, Ace felt capable of allowing anything to Sabo at that moment.

He licked his lips when he caressed his legs, his thighs, until he reached that part of the middle and Ace pressed the sheets together moaning when he felt that wet tongue taste him. He lifted his hips and covered his mouth with his hand, not wanting those sounds to spill through his lips. Sabo didn't even ask him if he wanted him to do that, he just reached over and drank from it with desperate thirst.

Every one of his muscles tensed as he felt him lick, suck, and slide fingers into his body. It was too much, too much, so much that he trembled believing he would melt into that bed.

His free hand ventured to hold Sabo's long hair that was bothering his face and moved his hips indicating that he wanted more, that he wanted everything.

"Go on, go, go on," he muttered through clenched teeth and threw his head back.

Sabo put both legs on his shoulders and continued with more intensity until he found a rhythm that completely dislodged Ace. He moaned loudly and twisted until every part of his body repeatedly contracted on Sabo's fingers and tongue.

He breathed hard as he recovered from the dizziness that violent orgasm had caused and felt his body lethargic, but Sabo's kisses woke him up. His wet mouth tasted like him, which shocked him but he didn't reject him. He wrapped his arms around Sabo’s neck as he enjoyed the warmth of his lips.

"Let me do it," Ace told him and Sabo didn't seem to understand, but he obeyed by laying down on the bed.

Ace smirked as he placed himself between Sabo's legs and removed the rest of his clothes to finally see him naked. He liked his body a lot, it turned him on, and he wanted to make him enjoy it.

He leaned down to kiss Sabo's neck and bit him with the intention of leaving some marks on him. Hearing him sigh for his touches was too pleasant. Ace descended in the same way Sabo had done moments ago and held his erection in his hands. He was very horny and felt it shake when he squeezed it. The relaxed swaying he started with seemed to make him desperate and that was fun to watch.

His tongue caressed the glans until he swallowed it hearing a muffled moan escape from Sabo's throat. He eagerly tasted it and shook his head as he continued to touch it with his hands. Every now and then he stopped to annoy Sabo. He touched him slowly as he kissed the inside of his thighs and marked him there as well. A small possessive instinct was born from the bottom of his being causing him to want to see Sabo covered by his marks and he liked that image too much.

"Come on, Ace…" Sabo insisted. “Faster.”

He found that desperation charming and he liked that dominant position with him. He narrowed his eyes with a feline smile and sighed.

"Are you so eager?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and received a growl in response. “Okay, okay, but I better hear you shout.”

And he heard it. It was faster as Sabo wanted. His mouth moved wetting him and his tongue curled around the tip as he sucked harder. Sabo's hands fell on his hair and Ace liked that he pulled it. He was kind of pleased to see him this eager for him. Sabo was very beautiful, but in those moments where they were both with their skin burning and their eyes crackling with fire, it caused him many feelings that overcame him.

He felt his mouth fill up soon. He swallowed part of it and another fell down his chin, dirtying Sabo's bed and legs. Ace wiped his face with the back of his hand as he pulled away and looked at Sabo agitated and satisfied. He smiled approaching him.

The hands of his best childhood friend hugged him and pressed his naked body giving him a pleasant warmth. Ace sank there as they kissed again.

"You look tired," Ace muttered with a smile.

"One break and I can go on," he said, his voice raspy.

Ace laughed hugging him. There was no need for him to strain, they might or might not go on later. He was also a bit tired actually. His body still tingled from his recent climax and he felt too relaxed and comfortable to move, at least for a little while.

He felt Sabo caress his back and his skin prickled with pleasure. Ace snuggled against that body and sighed as he hugged him passing one leg over his hip and resting his head on his chest.

"I really like being with you," Sabo muttered causing Ace to open his eyes. At what point did he close them? He was seriously tired.

"Me too," he answered, settling better on Sabo's chest, seeking warmth.

“And… What do you think about being  _ like this _ but more often?”

That question confused him and he had to pull back a little to see Sabo's face. He seemed nervous about what he was going to answer, but Ace couldn't quite absorb his words.

"Are you talking about sex or ... something else?"

"I don't just want sex with you, Ace." Sabo's face turned serious as he spoke and he smiled at him. “I want it all. I love you.”

Those words made his brain explode. Did he really hear him say it? His blood ran cold and he didn’t know how many seconds he stared at Sabo, totally shocked. He even felt that Sabo looked somewhat uncomfortable, because Ace wasn't saying anything, but it was because he never expected to hear those words from Sabo again.

His jaw trembled and he was unable to speak. He just hugged Sabo tighter and hid his face in his neck. He bit his lips trying to contain that emotion that threatened to burst his chest.

"I love you too," he murmured and pulled away to look into Sabo's eyes. “I... didn’t think you would say it.”

"I never stopped feeling it."

He grinned like a fool and could only kiss him to stop him saying cheesy things.

Yes, this was exactly what he wanted. He felt a great release in that instant and pushed his fears away for a while while enjoying that mouth he loved. He had no idea how things would turn out, but he didn't mind thinking about it either.

He stayed in that house a little longer, long enough for Koala to arrive and find them on the couch —dressed— huddled close together while they watched television. She needed no explanation to know what was happening there.

"At last," she sighed without even greeting them. “It was about time for you to nail it down, do you have any idea the amorphous blob of depression this fool became? He kept crying for you!”

Sabo seemed embarrassed by those words and Ace looked at him hoping he would confirm that it was true. He didn't know Sabo was sad for him, but he supposed it was logical.

"That bad?" he asked.

"I wasn't  _ crying, _ " Sabo said angrily.

"Yeah right," Koala sneered, rolling her eyes. “You were a mess and you were distracted. Now you better do your chores and don't make excuses.”

He was amused by the way they argued. Ace remembered when he thought they had a special trust and a nice relationship, but he didn't feel bad about it. It was good that Sabo had people who really loved him, needed him after all he suffered with his family. Now he had him and Luffy too.


	39. Chapter 39

That weekend, his house was particularly noisy. Rosi was very busy with work and even for a few nights didn't come home to sleep, so Ace took care of the children. Luffy took care of distracting Law so he didn't miss his dad, although it was just an excuse to be together in the same room and fall asleep late. Ace let them play, because he knew that Luffy couldn't stay awake too long. The child fell asleep at ten o'clock at night anywhere. Many times, Luffy would fall asleep on the armchairs, other people's beds or take naps in the garden in the middle of his games. At first, Ace was concerned that his son was narcoleptic like him, but it turned out that he was just a sleepy bear, so he let him rest when he was sleepy.

Every night, Rosi read a story or a book to Law. Every now and then, Luffy would join them, but fell asleep in the first few sentences. In those last days, it was Ace's turn to tell the story for the children. It was fun. It reminded him of those childhood times when he read aloud with Sabo, later he would talk about it with him when they talked.

Now they chatted practically every day. A call, messages or they saw each other from time to time. Sometimes they even looked for silly excuses to talk to each other and every time his cell phone vibrated he greatly wished it was him. Ace was met with a stupid smile more than once while answering Sabo's messages.

He didn't comment on what happened between them, only to a small group —Rosinante, Ivan and Bon Clay— who knew his story perfectly and Ace received looks that seemed to scream _'About time'_. It bothered and embarrassed him to think that it was shockingly obvious what was happening. So evident that even Garp and Sengoku seemed to have noticed it, although he didn't tell them what was happening with Sabo. However, the old men from time to time asked him about him, how he was or when he would go to see Luffy, even Garp's hostile comments dropped considerably.

Anyway, Ace didn't know how to finish defining what was going on between them, but it certainly excited him.

On Saturday morning Ace was forced to get up by his son's shouts. Why did he wake up so energetically on days when he didn't have to go to school? It was seven in the morning, at least Ace wanted to sleep until noon. He pulled the pillow over his head to ignore it but it was impossible. Luffy went looking for him to wake up. His child was still wearing pajamas and his face full of crumbs, he was surely eating something that his grandparents gave him.

"Dad, wake up!" Luffy snapped, jumping on top of him and blowing the air out of him. "Uncle came back! He brought food and said we could go for a walk later, come on, come on!"

Ace didn't feel the strength to answer. He barely raised his head. His hair was messy and it prevented him from seeing Luffy's excited smile correctly and the drool on his cheek was bothering him. He wiped his face with the back of his hand. What had Luffy said? Food? Walk? Uh?

His brain was not working at that time, except on Saturdays.

"What...?" He muttered in a monster voice as he rubbed his eyes. "Tell me later, Luffy."

"No!" The boy took his arm to pull him off the bed. "Get up!"

Ace didn't feel like talking or fighting, so he made an instinctive move. He took Luffy's small body to put him on the bed and hugged him covering both with the blankets.

"But Dad...!"

"Sleep."

Luffy protested and tried to free himself from his father's arms, but at some point he stopped. Maybe it was too early for him too or he was seduced by the comfort of the bed and Ace's hug. He stopped complaining and snuggled into that warm place he loved so much.

They both slept a while longer. Ace only woke up when he felt a knock on the door and realized that he was still holding Luffy with his face buried in his black hair. He didn't want to leave that place, it was too nice to be able to hug his baby and sleep like that. It was always so soft and warm that he thought he could stay there a lifetime.

It was impossible. Reality forced him to wake up and he growled like a dragon protecting his treasure. And now that? Nobody understood the concept of waking up late on a Saturday?

As much as Ace was upset, he could not reach out to that hand that caressed his face with a kindness that he almost considered unreal. He opened his eyes lazily recognizing Rosinante's touch before he saw him and his smile made him lose his temper. He couldn't be mad at that man, he could forgive him for waking him up.

"I told him to wake you up but you both ended up asleep," he impressively commented seeing how Luffy continued snoring snuggled into his father's chest.

Ace tried to wake up to answer him, but it was difficult. He yawned as he rubbed his face with his free hand, because his other arm was holding Luffy who was sleeping like a rock.

"I don't know what you're surprised at," he murmured. "If you already know how we are."

Rosi agreed with his words. It had been a mistake to send the baby bear to raise the father bear.

"Today is the fashion show," he commented before Ace lost consciousness again. "Doffy told me to bring Law, so I thought you could go with Luffy too."

It took several seconds longer than usual to process that information. Was today really the big day? He remembered that Rosi told him about it recently, but in his waking state he barely remembered the day it was.

What else did he say? Ah, if they wanted to go, of course.

"I don't know..." he answered as he stretched a little and his son settled more against him protesting that he moved. "Those kinds of events are not my style."

He couldn't really imagine going to see a famous designer's new collection show. There would be people there that he didn't know and probably wouldn't like. He didn't want to go, but he thought about Rosi and Law, he didn't want to leave them alone.

"You could invite Sabo," Rosi suggested and Ace blinked in confusion at the sound. "I can get you passes and there will be plenty of food."

He had the impression that Luffy muttered 'food' in his sleep and looked at the boy confused. Was he asleep or was it his unconscious that heard them? At that moment he remembered that Luffy was telling him something about going for a walk with Rosinante, perhaps he was referring to this.

"I'll ask him," he answered.

Ace took his cell phone to check the time and noticed that it was almost ten in the morning. Well, at least he slept a few more hours. He played with Luffy's hair as he searched his contacts for Sabo. Would he be awake? Would he want to go to that show? Sure there would be a lot of journalists in that place, but not Sabo's style.

Still, he decided to call him.

Maybe he should have woken up earlier so he didn't have that dead man's voice when he spoke to him, but he still didn't want to move because of Luffy, who was still hugging him firmly.

"Hello?" Sabo answered on the other side.

"Hi..." He tried to sound as clear as possible. "I woke you up?"

"No, I woke up early for a meeting."

That was unbelievable, but Ace remembered that Sabo was a much lighter sleeper than he was, so it wasn't as hard for him to get up in the morning. Luffy was more like Ace in that regard.

"How about you?" Sabo asked.

"In bed, Luffy won't let me get up."

"I guess you must be so sad about that," he said sarcastically and Ace rolled his eyes, although he couldn't see it. "Did something happen or are you just calling to hear from me?"

"A bit of everything, although actually today is Doflamingo's fashion show, Rosi's brother, do you remember?

"He's the owner of _D &R_, of course I remember that eccentric guy."

That word was a lot kinder than the one he would have used to describe Mingo, but Sabo hadn't seen him as many times as he had. _D &R_ was the name of the brand, a rather cheeky reference to its owners, but Ace knew Rosi didn't choose it. However, perhaps it had secrets beyond family ties, but that was best left unsaid.

"He told me if I wanted to go to the show with Luffy and also that I could invite you."

"Me?"

"You don't have to go if you don't want to ..."

He would like Sabo to go, but he didn't plan on forcing him, although he wished they could spend time together. He would like any place with Sabo. Ace knew that this event would be very boring and it would only have a little color if they went together.

"I'd like to," Sabo replied. "If you want me to go."

"Of course I want to."

They chatted for a few more moments until Luffy began to wake up and fidgeted like an uncomfortable little kitten. Ace told Sabo that he would see him later and they hung up. After ending that call, he started to hug Luffy and tease him until he finished waking up.

His son complained and stretched out his arms while yawning. He demanded breakfast as soon as he spoke to him and Ace thought he must have already eaten, but he was hungry too so they went downstairs to eat.

The event would be during the afternoon and would continue until night. Ace didn't plan on staying that long, he'd go for a while and then they'd come back. He only went there to accompany Rosi, be with the children and watch the show ... and to be with Sabo.

They were supposed to be dressed elegantly. After all, it was a fashion show, but Ace didn't pay much attention to trends. He only used the things he liked. Finding a style to dress was difficult after he had Luffy and his body underwent so many changes. He had several talks with Ivan and Bon Clay about how he could wear whatever he wanted, the clothes that covered his body should not be a condition of his identity. Even so, Ace didn't have a very defined style.

He looked among his more 'formal' clothes and thought that he could wear a white shirt that Rosi gave him, which was precisely his brand. The fabric was soft and conformed to his shapes in a harmonious way. He liked the way it looked. He had to admit that the Mingo sold quality things, it wasn't a very recognized brand for nothing.

He also put Luffy in some nice clothes and even dressed him with a bow tie. He looked like a doll, although the boy didn't look very comfortable. Ace combed his wild black hair, but Luffy put his hat on so it was useless. It was his style and Ace respected it.

Rosi and Law looked elegant too, so he thought he was right in his choice. He didn't want to embarrass him by going in shorts. He had a suit that he never wore and he thought it would be a good occasion.

The number of people, cars, security and journalists surprised him. He knew it was a big show, but it seemed ridiculous. He was supposed to meet Sabo there, but he began to doubt if he could see him amidst that sea of people and chaos.

The showroom was luxurious and huge. Ace couldn't help but think that if the big, pompous lamps that hang from the ceiling fell, many people would die there. Would they be well attached? He was hoping so. He lost a few moments imagining the scandal there would be over that incident that was only happening in his head, but Rosi caught his attention as they toured the facilities. He gave him the passes for himself and the children, plus an extra one for Sabo. Ace held Luffy in his arms, because he felt that the boy was desperate to run around, but it was better to have him watched or he was capable of getting into trouble.

Rosi told them that he should go see some details, so Ace went with the children to see if he saw Sabo at the entrance. To his surprise, he was found wandering among several people.

"You didn't answer the phone so I said it was from the press and went in," he replied when Ace asked him how he got there. "Security is not very good."

"You didn't have to do that," he said, handing him the pass Rosi gave him. "You seem to enjoy sneaking in."

"It's fun, I could be a good spy."

He found that idea funny. Sabo was quite adventurous when he wanted to. As much a joke as it was, he had dressed very well and could be a good candidate for the next James Bond. Sabo didn't dress badly in general —although Ace didn't have a fashion criteria to assure that— but the black suit and the shirt of the same color that he was wearing made him look sophisticated highlighting his white skin and blond hair. He was a very beautiful man.

Luffy demanded to go with him for a while to greet him and then he got off so he could be with Law. Ace reminded the children to stay close because he didn't want to lose sight of them. Law paid attention, but Luffy had to be threatened that he would run out of dinner and stuff.

The event began to fill with people little by little. Famous people or ones from the fashion world he guessed. Sabo whispered who some of them were. He assumed he knew because he was a journalist and his job was to know things, right? At least telling all those things he knew in his journalistic notes was his job.

They took seats when the show started. Some designs seemed interesting to him, others he didn't understand and there were a couple who had no idea what kind of people would use them in their day to day life. Each model walked showing the details of the garments, they took photos and several people commented on it.

In an instant, Ace realized that Luffy and Law disappeared. He felt his face turn white and he wanted to die. At what point did they disappear? He murmured to Sabo, who didn't see them either. How were they so stealthy that they were not noticed? Although that was also the fault of the loud music from the catwalk that stunned them and the brats disappeared as soon as he was distracted. Rosi had worked a lot with Mingo so that this parade went well, he couldn't leave Luffy loose there. He hoped Law could take care of him, but he couldn't pin all his hopes on an eight-year-old no matter how good he was.

Carefully trying not to attract attention, they got up to get away from the music and noise. They had to find them. Maybe they were somewhere playing games, but after a few minutes of searching he started to get frustrated when he didn't find them.

"Where have they gone?" He asked as they walked and looked around every corner.

"I don't think they're far," Sabo commented. The place is closed and they know not to leave, maybe they just went to the bathroom.

"They could have told me."

"Does it make you angry to have a wayward child? You were not so different, you also escaped."

"But he can't do it!"

Sabo laughed and Ace hated it. Well, maybe he was right a little, but it was different. Luffy was four years old and Law only eight, he couldn't leave them in that crowded place by their own. It was irresponsible. Something could happen to them and he didn't want to risk that.

"I'll write to Rosi to find out if he saw them." He took out his cell phone to write to him.

They were near the catwalk. The show was about to end and from where they were they could see the last models walking the rest of the collection. They should find the children soon, because when those people still in their seats dispersed it would be more difficult.

"Easy," Sabo said confidently, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find them, maybe they're playing outside."

Ace thought he might be right. That building where the event was taking place had a large garden in the background where weddings were celebrated and it was very possible that children were there. He even suspected that Luffy's nose might have led him straight to the food where the after-show party would be. He had to keep calm and think that they would be fine.

He smiled thinking that, with a small gesture and a few words, Sabo could easily change his emotional state. How foolish he felt to realize that, but it was the truth.

"If he ruins the parade it will be your fault," Ace warned as a joke and they both laughed.

A hand crawled around his waist and he allowed it. He bit his lips as he felt Sabo approach his body and his heart skipped anxiously. Being near him continued to make his skin crawl and tickle his face with embarrassment. How ridiculous, he shouldn't feel that way about Sabo anymore. They were both very confident, they had kissed and touched a lot of times; Why did he feel so nervous when they approached? He didn't have an answer, but he enjoyed every one of the reactions his body manifested. It was intense and addictive, he wanted more whenever they did.

It wasn't the place for that, but it felt like no one was watching. His fingers brushed the lapel of Sabo's suit and he smiled when he approached his mouth. He had soft, warm lips that said a lot to him and Ace could hardly believe that this was seriously happening to them.

After all the things that happened to them, now it seemed impossible to believe that they could be kissing without inconvenience or any problem that would separate them. They never wanted to separate, it was always external things that drove them away but they were no longer there. So why couldn't he enjoy a kiss from the person he loved?

The strident sound of people shouting and clapping led them to break apart. His eyes stared down the catwalk in amazement and he almost fainted.

Luffy was there walking with a model by the hand and seemed to go very happy to the front while they took pictures of him and he waved. What the hell was his son doing there?

Doflamingo, who was on the runway to close the show, looked puzzled at the boy but let the show go on anyway. He took him in his arms thanking everyone who attended the event.

"Sir! A reporter asked Doflamingo. Is that the boy you adopted?"

He looked at Luffy for a second and then back at the reporter.

"Yes," he said without interest in explaining further.

The comments about Doflamingo, his show and his new son exploded on the networks and news portals of the show business in less than a few minutes.

Ace, for his part, glared at Sabo and Sabo just shrugged, not knowing what to say.

They were lousy parents.

**.**

**.**

**.**

After that little event, Ace didn't know if he should apologize to Rosi for letting Luffy cause trouble or to kill Doflamingo. Anyway, later he came out clarifying that this child was "his nephew" and that was it. He didn't want to turn this matter around or look at the photos on the Internet of Luffy during the parade. Ivan even texted him when he saw the news. That kind of thing flew too fast.

Doflamingo didn't apologize for what he said. Instead he offered Ace that Luffy could model for one of his child-focused campaigns —he even told Ace himself that he could work as a model too— but he didn't feel very convinced about doing such a thing. However, the idea of earning his own money interested him, and he wouldn't have a fixed work schedule. He could think about it. He still wasn't convinced with Luffy 'working', but he didn't feel like arguing about it.

He returned home with Sabo and the children. Rosi told him that he should stay a little longer and Ace had no problem taking Law away. The little one seemed tired after the event and more with the amount of photos that were taken of him or people with whom he had to interact. He didn't usually enjoy talking to people with whom he didn't have a close bond. On the other hand, Luffy would talk with anyone.

He invited Sabo to dinner and, surprisingly, the old men didn't object, nor did they make —too many— distasteful comments. Maybe he could invite Sabo more often if they annoyed him too much about it. When it was Christmas or New Years, Luffy would probably want to spend time with his other dad too. He could think about that another time.

Luffy told the grandparents how he ran the catwalk and they laughed at the story. Now that it was over, he had to admit that it was pretty funny, except for the part where Mingo used his son for publicity but he couldn't expect anything less from that man.

The old men made a delicious meat that had nothing to envy to the elegant food of the party.

Ace stayed behind to wash the dishes with Sabo when dinner was over. The elderly went to watch television and the children got lost somewhere playing.

"They seem to have a lot of fun here," Sabo mentioned as he helped dry the dishes that Ace handed him.

"It's pretty loud, but it's okay."

The whole house became a scandal since Luffy arrived, although they didn't complain about it. The boy brought them together even more and they consolidated in a strange way, but it worked. Ace liked his life there, but he had to admit that he liked these new moments with Sabo and he would love it if they could continue to share them.

Still, his battered mind sometimes thought fatalistically and refused to believe this was happening. After so much time suffering in darkness, how could he remain calm in the face of this seemingly happy normality? Ace's mind was alert with an alarm ringing loudly as it screamed 'danger', but what was the danger? He didn't know, but there must be some. They always had some inconvenience that separated them, why would it be different now?

He felt arms surround his body returning him to reality. Sabo's chest pressed against his back and Sabo's chin rested on his shoulder. The soft breath collided with his ear and he shivered.

"What are you thinking about?" Sabo asked in a low tone that tried to intrude into his head and get under his skin as he always had.

Ace put the last plate he had left to wash aside, already clean, and dried his hands, but he didn't want Sabo to leave him. He brushed the arms around him and smiled.

"Nothing," he answered, trying to relax. "I just thought it's weird to be like this... I feel like at any moment something could go wrong."

Sabo didn't say anything to him. He only heard him sigh on his neck and then he gave him a kiss there that warmed his face.

"If you think like that, it seems like you want something bad to happen," he replied. "Everything will be fine, Ace. There is nothing and no one to bother us anymore."

He was right, but he couldn't help thinking like that. Sabo's parents were gone, neither were they two helpless children, Ace had left their previous relationship for him and now there was really nothing to stop them from being together. Still, he knew that feeling would last until he got used to it being all part of his overwhelming anxiety. Sabo wasn't going anywhere, not again, and neither was he. They were both there and so it would be as long as they felt love for each other.

He turned to see that pretty face with the scar and smiled caressing it. If he had it, it was partly his fault, but he loved it just as he loved all of him.

"I know, but ... Everything always went so wrong for us that it seems impossible for us to be like this now," he admitted sadly and Sabo smiled, approaching him. He found no better way to chase away negative thoughts than with kisses and it worked.

That reminded him a bit of Luffy, who always wanted to solve all problems with hugs and kisses. Apparently, the boy had more of Sabo than he imagined. However, he wouldn't complain because he liked that and it worked for him.

"We could have done worse," Sabo said, barely pulling away.

"I know," Ace agreed. "Can you imagine if we had really run away? What a mess."

A couple of times he thought about it and all the possible destinations were fatal. Luffy was already on his way and he only imagined having an abortion in some clandestine place, because he was only fourteen years old and there was no possibility of having a child. Most likely, he would end up bleeding out in the middle of nowhere and dying.

This was definitely the best ending they could have had.

"Let's think about something else," Sabo said, feeling a chill at the thought of what happened to them. "Let's think about what we have now, about us and about Luffy."

"You say it like that and we almost look like family."

"I don't dislike the idea."

Ace laughed when he heard it and hugged him to kiss him. It was still too early for them to call themselves a 'family', but it didn't seem like a bad idea either. Maybe they could be one at some point and that illusion seemed as sweet as Sabo's lips.

Their moment was interrupted by Luffy, who entered the kitchen demanding ice cream or some kind of dessert.

If they became a real family, that would be part of their daily lives, so they couldn't be mad about it, but neither did they. They wanted that life, with all that it entailed.


	40. Chapter 40

For an instant, he berated himself for not having done that work sooner. Ace kept taking out the junk from that closet and setting it aside to decide if they were useful things or could he throw them away. Cleaning was boring, but necessary from time to time. Besides, he needed that closet for _something else_. He was changing the furniture and things in his room to make the most of that space.

He found many of Luffy's old toys, the ones he used when he was more of a baby and didn't like them anymore. Maybe he could donate them or give them to someone. His child was more interested in other toys or the Internet. He was always looking to steal his phone to watch things on YouTube, he even already knew what to press to put the videos on his own. Not even insane Ace would buy him one, at least he had to be twelve and Ace would make sure he would take care of it, Luffy was very careless.

He kept going through that closet in his room until he found some photo albums. Had he really put them there? He didn't remember. A few months ago he was looking for them and now he was surprised to find them in that place. They were photos of Luffy when he was a baby and also some sneaky ones that were taken before the child was born. Ace hated those photos, but he couldn't throw them away. It was necessary to have that little memory of what he was and of everything that happened to get to where he was, but he still couldn't get used to seeing that image.

He opened an album and sat on his bed looking at the photos.

Luffy was too small a baby when he was born and remembering that made him smile. He grew a lot from that moment, but despite being almost six years old, he was still tiny, enough to hold him tight.

He couldn't help but throw himself over the sheets and forgot for a moment the cleaning he was doing, but someone came in to remind him.

"Are you taking a break already?" Sabo asked, entering with a box in his hands. There was a smile on his face despite his reproach.

"It was only for a moment," Ace complained as he got up. "I found the pictures of Luffy that I told you, do you want to see?"

His words seemed to surprise Sabo and soon the two of them were looking at those photos together. A while ago, when they just started seeing each other again, Ace told him that he would show him things of Luffy when he was a baby, but he had not found them until now.

"He looks very small in your arms," Sabo commented looking at a photo where Luffy had just returned from the clinic, he was probably a couple of weeks old, and Ace was holding him while crying with a disgusted face that made them laugh.

In those days, he had no idea how to properly hug his son, but he learned somehow. As much as he loved him, Ace sometimes saw Luffy as an annoying weirdo when he was just born. Now he was still annoying, but he was already used to his life as a dad.

"He was born early and underweight," Ace explained. "He got his weight back pretty quick luckily."

A chill ran down his spine when he remembered the times when he breastfed. Good thing he didn't have to do that anymore and would never do it again.

Sabo flipped over to one of the few photos in existence of Ace with a pregnant belly. Ace looked away feeling jaded. He didn't like to see himself and remember what he was like before, what he became when he had his son.

"You looked cute," Sabo commented, almost touched by the image and Ace gave him a murderous look.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I really mean it."

"You always say I look cute in anything," he snapped, rolling his eyes.

"And it's the truth."

A growl came from Ace's lips upon hearing it. They weren't talking about it! Still, he liked Sabo saying those things to him, but Ace would never admit that he looked good in those pictures. Perhaps it was because he remembered those moments in a dark way and thinking about it made him reject it. He didn't want to go back there.

Sabo kept looking at the photos and from time to time they laughed when funny images of Luffy making faces or silly things appeared. There were several where he was with Law, Rosi, the grandparents, Ivan and even Bon-chan. Many people loved that baby.

"I wish I had been there," Sabo said wistfully.

Ace felt guilty hearing it, even though he knew that Sabo didn't say that to make him feel bad, nor that there was a culprit. Things just turned out like this and they couldn't do anything else about it.

"Surely it would have been much easier," Ace assured him, thinking that the love that Sabo always gave him would have helped him too much in those difficult times, "but at least you can be now."

He placed his hand over Sabo's and smiled at him. That was the important thing, that they were both together and with Luffy. Also, their child was still young. The three of them still had many things to live and enjoy together. Sabo nodded and leaned in for a sweet kiss that made him sigh. Every touch they shared was filled with an immense affection that made him shudder.

"I still would have liked to see you with your belly," Sabo insisted and Ace growled annoyed.

"Luckily it will never happen."

Ace felt very happy and relieved to be able to say that with such confidence that Sabo could not refute him. In fact, both of them were relieved to have that certainty.

Some time ago, Sabo had decided to have a vasectomy. When their relationship became completely serious, Ace decided that they needed another method of contraception other than condoms. He didn't want to take pills, so he also considered having surgery to sterilize himself, but it was much more complex than he had thought. Even so, he was very determined that he didn't want to have any more children, but Sabo thought it would be better if he had the intervention.

It was a very quick surgery with a simple recovery. It was seriously the best option so that they didn't have to worry about another unexpected pregnancy. Sabo never thought of having children until he found out about Luffy, but he agreed with Ace not to have more, at least that way. If at any time they wanted to have another child, they could adopt one.

It was a relief to have that assurance, especially now that Sabo was moving in with them.

That decision was somewhat unexpected. Sabo's rental agreement was about to expire and Koala told him that she was going on a trip, so he would have to rent alone. At first, Sabo had thought of getting some smaller apartment with enough space for when Luffy came to stay at his house, but Garp had another suggestion.

_"Tell him to come here. Why is he going to get anything else? If he spends all day here tucked into your bed. "_

Of course he didn't reproduce exactly the old man's words because they embarrassed him, but it was kinda true. Sabo spent a lot of time at his house to be with Luffy and also Ace. After discussing the matter for a bit, they decided to do it. So now Sabo was bringing his things to settle in his room, their room.

This was very moving and made him nervous. They were going to live together for the first time in that huge and crowded house. It would be fun and also exhausting. He had to prepare for the earthquake that would hit his life, but he was willing to go through it. Luffy had been very happy that his other dad was going to live with them. The boy adored having all his loved ones close, so now he was ecstatic as they made the move. They had a break because Luffy decided to go play in the yard with Law.

Anyway, they talked about their life and this decision was temporary. Ace still had his mother's house and didn't know what to do with it. Maybe he could sell it and buy something else to live in with Sabo and Luffy. That option pleased him, although he still couldn't imagine the three of them moving in together, but he would think about it for the near future. Besides, Sabo still had the money from his parents' lawsuit —although Sabo suggested that they could use it to go on vacation with his son and that idea was attractive—. They had many things to figure out, but none were stressful enough to ruin their current happiness.

They should continue to move and tidy up Sabo's things, but instead they stayed in bed looking at the photos, chatting and kissing.

Sabo's hand caressed his waist and Ace purred as he tasted his lips. Now they could do that as many times as they wanted. They would sleep there together at night, they could fight during the day, take care of Luffy, make their lives, and then come back to share more kisses between the sheets. Maybe he was just excited to be together and idealized the whole situation, but he couldn't help himself. Joy overwhelmed him and he didn't know how to contain it, although he didn't want to hide his emotions either.

"Are you happy that I'm moving here?" Sabo asked, almost whispering on his lips.

"I should ask that," Ace replied with a laugh. "You don't know what awaits you."

"It mustn't be that bad."

He laughed again because Sabo really had no idea what it was like to live with an earthquake boy like Luffy. Every day he was exhausted, but he was used to it. Sabo would need time to adjust to this new life, although he had no doubt they'll be able to and everything would be fine. The problems and doubts would never cease to be there, but at that moment he didn't feel any insecurity that bothered him. He just smiled as he hugged that fool he loved so much.

The kisses became deeper and the touches more noticeable. Ace tangled his fingers in the blonde locks as Sabo's hand continued to mark his waist. His shirt lifted from that touch and he shuddered to feel those fingers touch his skin. In general, Sabo was always looking to touch Ace in some way. Holding his hand, hugs, kisses, everything. He expressed his affection that way and Ace loved to receive it, although he sensed other intentions from that hand that began to caress his back under his clothes. It wasn't the time, but he didn't push it away either, because he also wanted him to continue.

"What are you doing?!"

Luffy's scream made them jerk apart. They looked at each other in horror and then saw the little boy leap towards them.

"Were you napping?" Luffy asked, placing himself between the two of them on the bed.

At least he didn't see them in a more compromising situation. Ace should start considering locking the door when _those things_ were to happen because Luffy was very dangerous and he didn't want to cause trauma to him. He looked at Sabo with resignation and tried to tell him silently that this was only the beginning of what awaited him. It wasn't easy at all sharing life with a demanding child, but he didn't want to scare him... maybe just a little.

"We were taking a break," Ace replied. "Weren't you playing with Law?"

"Torao said he had to go to do homework, it's very boring," he hissed annoyed. "Will you sleep here with dad?" He asked, looking at Sabo. "I also like to sleep with him, he is very warm."

Ace laughed at his words. As soon as they started dating, they explained the situation to Luffy and the boy understood it quite well. He just said that his parents loved each other and that was fine. He seemed happy that they were together, more people to share with.

"Yeah, I know," Sabo said, glancing at Ace and then at Luffy, "but you can sleep with him too. I won't take it from you."

"I know, he loves me."

Luffy seemed very sure of his words and laughed causing tenderness in his parents. Ace gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him.

"We both love you," Ace mentioned and his child's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"But I love you more," he assured him. "And Torao, the uncle, the grandparents, Iva-chan..."

They laughed when Luffy began to list all the people he loved. He was a child full of love and displayed all his light wherever he walked. Seeing him and being with Sabo made all the suffering he went through worth it.

"I'm hungry," Luffy snapped, looking at them with a pout. That was surely the main reason why he went looking for them.

Ace sighed thinking that maybe they should finish organizing later, because he also wanted a snack and Sabo seemed to agree with that idea.

They went down with the child and left the photos on the bed. Maybe they should add more to those albums later, but they had plenty of time to do so.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**THE END  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Well, we are at the end of the story. I can't believe I'm done uploading this story and without going into hiatus, it's amazing to me. I'm very excited and also sad because I don't want to let go this fanfic, but I know that I'll write others that I'll also love to do.
> 
> When I started thinking about this story, I didn't expect it to end like this. I worked and researched a lot to make it something decent. I know that it's a story with many flaws and that it could have been much better. Maybe in the future I'll edit it, but for the moment it will stay like this. It also has many things that I liked. I think what I love the most is Ace's relationship with Luffy and Corazón, a relationship that I invented because they are characters that never met in One Piece hahaha Even so I enjoyed doing it. It's difficult to work with characters like Ace and Sabo because they have appeared very little in the series, so it's difficult to write their personalities in a correct way. Practically all of us who write about this ship have a very different vision of how to write them hahaha Anyway, I hope you liked my work.
> 
> It was also a challenge to create a trans character and try to do it in a correct way. I did what I could with a lot of work and I hope I haven't offended anyone, but if I did, I apologize. I always try to work with great respect when I write. I don't pretend to educate about sexuality, gender or anything like that. I just wanted to write a romantic story about the ship that I like, but that's doesn't mean that I'm going to do something empty of content.
> 
> I loved writing _Dysphoria_ very much and I also want to thank everyone who left comments, kudos, and was always there. I want to apologize again because the story has many, too many, chapters where Sabo doesn't appear. The story is about Ace, but even I understand that it was too much. Even so, it's already complete and anyone can read it whenever they want haha
> 
> Now I'm going to take a break. It's very difficult to publish chapters every week without delay. Me and my translator, Kura, are tired. So we're going to have a fanfiction vacation hahaha Anyway, I'm going to keep writing and hope to come back soon with some new story.
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter: [Daena Blackfyre](https://https://twitter.com/daenablackfyre//) I don't publish too much, but there you can find me, talk to me and see the new stories that I upload.
> 
> A special thanks to [AnnieDeOdair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieDeOdair) for the support and to [ChainedKura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChainedKura) for working so hard every week on the English chapter.
> 
> And also: **Thank you all for reading!**
> 
> See you soon with more new things.
> 
> Bye!
> 
> _Daena._


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